Chapter 37
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On my first visit, I had the luck of having nurse Magdalena help me find the way, multiple floors up.

The neurology ward was quiet. A few patients walking around slowly, with drips attached, a nurse pushing a wheelchair. Passing through the hallway that smelled like isopropyl alcohol with a hint of bodily fluids, I glanced at the rooms. In each were sterile white and blue walls and height-adjustible beds. The people lying in them usually appeared motionless, aside from one man in the fifth room down the hall who always seemed to toss around and mumble. I promised myself to come every other day, usually an hour or so before sunset. But walking up to Izzie's room I knew I would always felt immense dread. What would I find on the next visit?

"Over here," the nurse said, directing me to the right.

Izzie was lying still on her back, in a loosely-fitting hospital gown, under a thin white sheet on the same kind of bed I saw everywhere. Her bed was positioned next to a large window looking out at the small square of greenery and the streets below. A bag of intravenous glucose was slowly dripping out a supply of nutrients into her arm, hidden under the cloth. Wires emerged somewhere from under her shirt through the collar and connected to a heart rate monitor. All the context aside, she looked like she was asleep.

"Izzie," I said, and took a chair to sit by her. With the nurse gone, and Ra'zizi seemingly taking a break, I was the only conscious person in the room.

I remembered holding Izzie's limp hand and feeling overwhelmed with feelings. Speaking to her, quietly, I would recount in brief my problems with keeping my life in order, skipping the indecent details of my dealings with Ra'zizi and my landlady. As I was telling her how, every time I passed by her door I remembered our walks, I started tearing up.

"Isabella," I could hear my voice crack. I lowered my head to touch her hand and tears started streaming down my face, "I'm sorry, Izzie... I'm sorry..."

I started sobbing and couldn't help but hyperventilate.

"I'm so sorry," I repeated, "I did this to you! ... I'm a fool... I'm a coward... I should have just-"

I started losing my voice. Trying to breathe in slowly to calm myself down, I had to straighten my back out.

"Who the hell are you?" a male voice said behind my back.

I turned around to see four people—a confused-looking nurse, who wasn’t Magdalena, a slightly overweight man with grey hair standing next to her, a short woman with black hair wearing a large, checkered sweater standing in front of them, and—to their left—a man, looking about my age, in a wheelchair. They all kept staring at me.

"I... I..." it took me a moment to connect the dots. Behind the nurse's head, I saw a pair of short horns and the tops of demon wings, fluttering. I continued, trying to regain composure, "M-mister Bianchi… I'm Izzie's neighbor."

Izzie's mother broke the silence, "wait, you are Matt?"

"Matt?" the father turned to her in surprise, "Why didn't she tell me anything about a Matt?"

"Uh, we were just... dating briefly before the accident."

"Dating?" her brother seemed taken aback and looked at me with disbelief, then shook his head.

The air felt like gel filling my lungs, choking me with every inhale. With all eyes on me, I picked myself up from the chair and started taking steps towards them.

"I, uh, I hope she gets better," I said, feeling like their gazes were drilling holes into my body.

"Do you visit her often?" the mom asked.

"Uh, this... is the first time," I replied.

"Oh, well..." she paused and the whole family exchanged glances. She then turned to me and started nodding and spoke dryly, "that's certainly nice of you, but if you don't mind..."

The father was nodding slightly as well. He was looking at me through squinted eyes, and I couldn't tell if it was derision, or just the way his eyes looked.

"Of course not!" I said, "I'll be on my way out!"

I could feel their eyes on me, escorting me down the corridor.

I didn't want to wait for the elevator. Walking down the stairs, and then out the main entrance, I heard the soft chuckling I've grown used to. This time I could feel my hands making fists as I power walked on, almost bumping into a paramedic.

"That was quite a melodrama you pulled there," she said.

"Fuck you," I responded, causing a middle-aged passerby with crutches to turn his head, but I just plowed on.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm careless," she said, floating next to me at my pace. "I know how much you cared about Izzie."

"Don't you mention her name..." I spoke through cleched teeth, approaching a pedestrian crossing.

"But don't worry," Ra'zizi spoke with a consoling, soft, yet mocking tone, "it seems like you already have new girls lined up."

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up!!!" I burst out at her, swaying so hard as to almost fall off the pavement. People nearby started moving away from me and a car waiting for a green light rolled up its window. I couldn't care anymore. I ignored the red light and the waiting cars. None dared honk at me even though the light turned green for them.

"Oh, Matt, what's gone into you?" Ra'zizi waited a moment until I was back on the pavement, "so rash! So aggressive! Are you the Matt I know?"

Feeling overwhelmed with anger and confusion I started turning around, trying to remember which way I came from. Seeing a metro sign, I sprinted towards it and down the stairs.

"Wait, Matt!" Ra'zizi beckoned after me. She caught up with me while I was trying to pass the entrance gates, angrily hammering my pass into the reader.

"I'm sorry, but this is too hot," she said and tried grabbing my hand as I frantically scanned the ticket. "Take me, Matt, right here! Right now!"

I started running down to the nearest train heading in the right direction, all the while she continued, her voice now almost in my ears.

"Let them see, I want them to see! I'm so wet now, Matt!" her moans haunted me.

I almost jumped into the nearest empty seat and covered my ears and hid my head between my knees. I would only dare look back up for brief periods of time once I felt the train stop moving. Getting off, I saw all the people staring at me and Ra'zizi smiling on the other side of the door, greeting me before it opened.

Walking back to my apartment, feeling like my muscles were all pulled and with a dull, thumping migraine, I noticed Scruff, the stray dog. I realized I haven't fed him in a while.

"Hey boy," I said, approaching.

Scruff looked at me and arched his back, then started growling. I stopped in my tracks—he'd never done that before.

"Easy," I tried calming him, taking small steps forward, "are you hungry? Are you hurt?"

Before I could get closer than about six steps away, he barked a few times, then started backing off.

"Scruff?" I said and took one more step.

As if terrified of something, the poor dog started running away, only to turn back every few seconds and bark hysterically, eventually vanishing behind a street corner.

I remembered—I had to get ready to see Eris, we were meant to go to the arcade. I had less than an hour to get over what happened.

"Hmm, I wonder who's into you this time?" Ra'zizi said with a coy tone as I was unlocking my door. I noticed there was a letter in my mailbox. Curious, since it wasn't from a bank or some company freebie offer.

"I want you to just stay away for tonight," I said without looking at the succubus.

"Oh, and what if I don't?" she said and tried grabbing my forearm. I waved it around to get it out of her grasp.

To my relief, Suzanne wasn't waiting for me inside after once more breaking into my apartment. I left the envelope on the kitchen table and took a shower and a change of clothes. With a cup of freshly brewed tea, I tried to steady myself, sitting in my kitchen and just looking out the window. But the image of Izzie's family, standing there, looking at me, kept on returning. I shook my head, hid my face in my hands, pulled my hair and pounded on the table, but the sense of being crushed by a large weight on my chest didn't seem to go away. There was nothing engaging on TV, and I couldn't bring myself to scroll through my news feed after seeing an ad for a charity for people with neurological disorders. I decided to read the letter out a want for any distraction.

The header wasn't what I expected, it simply stated my name, address and the date it was printed. I noticed a sender's address in the right upper part. It was a local police station.

"You are hereby requested," the letter read, "to attend questioning as a potential witness in an ongoing investigation."

I didn't need to read further. Already knew what it was about. I loudly gulped and felt my forehead dripping with sweat. My hands were too shaky to lift the cup of tea without splashing it around. Knowing I had no mind for any meetings today, I took out my phone and excused myself to Eris, telling her I was too tired from the succubus tormenting me. Technically not a complete lie. She grilled me with a few emojis before agreeing to postpone the date for a few days later.

"You better not be ghosting me," she texted, adding a worried and an angry face.

I put my phone down and looked at the ceiling, exhale turning into a long sigh. Closing my eyes, I felt a headache incoming. I had to figure out what to do, and I had no idea where to begin, and just like with Ra'ziz, I couldn't avoid these people. But as for Izzie, one thing was sure—I needed to see her again, no matter what.

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