Opening my eyes, I look up to see Ailine above me, staring down with tear marks on her cheeks.

"Hello, Ailine." I gave her my most dashing smile I could, even while pain starts to register.

"Lia!" She bends down and hugs my head. 

Jostling that much fucking hurt, but I must've scared this poor woman when I was out. I'll just keep it to myself. Looks like she finished off the mantis, for me to just be laying here.

"How long was I out?"

(Too long you crazy walrus wannabe!) my mind parasite snarks. (Your MP is almost full again! Hurry up and heal your stomach and at least your leg.)

Focusing my magic, my stomach fully heals. Then I focus on my leg. I had enough mana to regrow it, but looking at how much it took, I don't have enough for my arm more than just fully stopping bleeding. If I fully sealed it off, I'd have to wait longer for it to regrow naturally than just using magic to bring it back.

It fucking stings like a bitch too. However, if I don't want to wait days for it to heal, not much I can do.

"Ailine, could you help me rewrap my arm please?" I ask while sitting up.

"Of course." Forcing a smile, she begins to rewrap my arm. I can't help but think how much of a fucking cheat being a vampire and having magical talent is.

Once wrapped up, I take out a blood bag for us both. I don't know how long I was out, but it couldn't have been a short time if my MP was back. I should make sure Ailine always has a blood bag in her storage, just in case.

After the snack, we began gathering all of the monster cores, weapons, shields, and armor pieces littered through the arena. Splitting the cores and eating them like we always do.

Not able to do too much and still not feeling 100%, I just carry around the bag behind Ailine. We take our time, glad to be done with this fight. Once we have everything gathered, we head over to where the boss came out.

Standing in front of the new door, I ask, "Where's this lead, Navi?"

(This is the door to the core room! It's an unchanging room that houses the dungeon core. When nobody is inside of it, time essentially stops inside there. Crazy dungeon logic stuff. Since it doesn't absorb things like the rest of the dungeon, some people make it a hideout or storage room.)

That gets my attention. "Then there could be items left in here?"

(Who knows? It's a mystery!)

It certainly is, and isn't getting solved standing here. 

Turning to my partner, I ask "You ready to check it out, Ailine?"

"Let's go, Lia." She nods.

We walk up to the large golden door that's on the other side of the wooden boss door. Pushing it open, we step inside.

What we saw when we walked in was a massive red gem the size of an exercise ball sitting on a pedestal. Behind it was what could only be described as a magic circle drawn in blood on a flat ten feet wide, circular platform of marble.

Below the pedestal were three black rucksacks, and two black leather belt pouches that were on the larger side for a pouch. One was plain, but the other had golden filigree throughout and looked much more exquisite.

The plain bag was sitting on a piece of paper and the fancy one on a wax sealed envelope. As I started with the paper and read it out loud, my heart skipped a beat.

If you're reading this and you're a fucking human, elf, or dwarf, then go get fucked in the ass by an ork.

If you're somehow a vamp too, then good on you for getting here. His Majesty and that oracle were fuckin right, then.

Being that you found this, we all died. Ain't no other way you woulda got here before us. Them fucking other races already swept through the vamp lands and His Majesty decided to call out to all the others and make our last stand here. We've been running and trying to counter them for too long, and His Majesty won't just fucking hide out in here since we all can't, so here we are.

Those pussies are closing in and are outside the town walls. Ain't nothing but time till they get through and assault the castle. 

His Majesty gave me and my men a final mission. To my men, block, bury, or do whatever to keep them other races out of our dungeons. That massive Abyssal Dungeon, His Majesty had my man bring the entire fucking waterfall cliff down on top of it! I could hear the fucking crash from the castle. Those bastards probably shit themselves. Ain't no way they're ever getting in there. After they finish their jobs, they're to make a final sneak from behind and try to get some heads. Rest well little Gavin, me and the others will be joining you soon.

We always kept our dungeon locations to vamps only, so unless we have snitches, they should be shut tighter than an elf's asshole.

This last one was mine to do. Once we saw tens of thousands of the other races fucking jerkin it at our walls, completely circling us in with tens of thousands more coming, His Majesty knew there ain't no way we win this one or escape just to delay. We also can't all hide out in a dungeon for more than a year with so many of us. And all of us refused when he tried to force us to hide. Like hell we let him fight and die while we sit in here with a thumb up our ass. The hell he think we are? 

Same goes for me and the other generals. We ain't dumb. And that's why His Majesty had this fucking great idea! Said the Goddess of Chaos gave him an oracle about it, but I'll be damned if it aint fuckin awesome!

As a final way for us to shit on their dicks, we took all them fancy fucking bags Tavel made, and stuffed 'em to the fucking brim!

That bastard Tavel just kept cackling to himself. He just found out how to make these here belt pouches a century ago. And made some big deal about finally finishing the big bags last week. Some shit about being able to put bags in bags or something. I ain't never understood space-time magic. Made my brain hurt. I just know my damn belt pouch he made sure made life easier. And that only fucking Tavel is good enough to make 'em, much as I hate to admit. Almost made me like the bastard when he gave me one.

If you ain't ever used one of Tavel's belt pouches before, just think about what you want to come out and poof, there ya go. If you just reach in, then the last thing put in will come out. You can also just turn it upside down and think about emptying it. Just make sure you have the fucking room to do it. To put crap in, just shove it. And if it's too big, put the bag up to it and just imagine it going in. Fucking shit is it convenient, even if I don't get how it works.

So after we got this great plan, instead of letting the fucking other races loot our home and corpses, we fucking looted ourselves! Ha! Bet those goblin cunts will be pissed! 

So we took all three of the big bags Tavel made and shoved all our shit in. In one bag, you got all the belt pouches of us generals and what lieutenants had 'em. Besides mine. I'll keep mine out next to His Majesty's since I won't be dying next to him. I can almost picture Jen's fucking face if she ever found out mine was by his and not hers! 

They'll be fighting the last stand in fucking apprentice leathers with stock weapons! Ha! What a fucking sight that would be. We all stuffed all our best shit in our bags so you best be taking care of it. Ain't no good dragon leather and dwafsteel daggers gonna do me when I'm dead anyway. Rather it rot than be used by a fucking non vamp too.

The next bag has our entire armory and treasury, besides what we'll be using. I think fucking Tavel is more broken in the head than normal when he was laughing with his fucking pants on his head while shoveling coins into bags. Me and Grant just keep away from the crazy blood sipper when he gets like this.

In the last big bag is the loot from the castle. All the nice shit I always hated using. The good beds, chairs, tables, plates, all the servants shoved in fabric, soap, and all their junk too. I even saw Jen stuff some drapes in. Whoever the fuck you are, no idea if you need drapes, but thank fucking Jen if you do.

The final fancy pouch next to mine belongs to His Majesty. Fucking take good care of it or I swear I'll have the Goddess of Chaos bring me back just so I can slit your throat and piss directly down it. 

I also placed the big ass stone like His Majesty asked. He said his letter explains about it. Looks like some shit Tavel came up with to me. Might not be my favorite vamp, but after the few centuries he's been turned, I'll be damned if he ain't the best damn mage around. Doesn't make him less broken in the head though.

After this, I'll be heading out to see if I can get a final officer kill or two. Maybe take the heads of a couple cursed fucking heretic priests. His Majesty wanted me to come back and stand by him. But I don't think I can fucking stand watching him die. So I'll go out first with my other men. See what heads we can get, and wait for him later. Gotta move that fucking construction pile to cover this entrance first. Damn, I was looking forward to what His Majesty was going to build.

So we're leaving all this to whoever the fuck you are. Don't fucking die before you kill some of these sons of goblins with our shit too.

-Loralei Nightblade, Assassin General and most loved woman of His Majesty's harem

Wow. Just, wow. We came upon something better and more important than I could have ever imagined. I was stunned. 

(Why do I get the feeling Lia and Loralei would have gotten along well?)

"I agree." Ailine doesn't even hesitate to agree.

These two. Is Navi becoming a bad influence on Ailine?

Ignoring them, I pick up the envelope and break the wax seal. With Ailine helping to take out the letter within, I begin reading once more.

Greetings,

If you are a vampire, then I am thankful to you for reading this. It would mean my last hope that the Goddess of Chaos told me of was not unfounded. 

We have lost much to the other races over these years of war. We can no longer run or counterattack. Some have talked about retreating deep into the dungeons and living a few centuries there before coming back.

But that isn't living. And even the Goddess of Chaos warned me against that. That so many staying inside for such a long time would drain the dungeon, causing collapse while we are there. For a group our size? Only a couple years would be max. And we would be in the same position once again.

None of the vampires want to hide while I stand and fight. Some wanted me to hide with a small group, but I refused as well. What a ridiculous and laughable race we are. None willing to hide and survive while the others fight, even if it would save the race. Even if I ordered or begged, there isn't a single one that would follow the order. 

I don't know if this amount of loyalty is a success or failure as a king. A failure as it will lead to all their deaths. My castle will be where we will make our last stand, and where we will inevitably fall.

To prevent as much of our history from being destroyed and to keep as much of our wealth and items out of the hands of heretical invaders, I have tasked my mage general, Tavelestine, to create extra-dimensional bags to store everything of significance. 

Even when I ask the impossible, to store dimensional bags inside of a dimensional bag, and increase the capacity 100 fold, he somehow pulled through with a solution. He truly is a talent that may never be matched.

I am assuming my dear Loralei has also left you a note like I asked that describes the contents of the bags. If there is one regret I have from my millennia as a king, it is sending so many of those I care for to their death. 

I will not ask for forgiveness. After asking them to fight and die with me, I do not deserve it. All I pray is that the Goddess of Chaos has mercy on their souls, and that their next life may be better than this one.

As the races close in, cycling hundreds of mages along the wall with a constant light flare strobe effect all night, there isn't much we can do. Even our shadow cloaks have little effect with so many at once. Tavelstein's enchantments on the wall are also fading. It will not be long before they can launch an assault.

The times we have attempted counters, they focus fire any vampires in the area, firing large scale magic, killing many of their own allies just to kill us. What truly deplorable existences they are. Those in the counter attacks did not even punch through more than a few layers of their shield wall. 

Their numbers seem near endless as the ranks that were just killed by their own men are immediately refilled.

Even their light mages are near endless. Rumors were that they conscripted everyone that had even a modicum of talent in light magic and power leveled them in their dungeon with the only focus on firing as many light magic beams as they can at one time. Eradicating us and any of their allies in the area. They do not even fire directly at us, choosing to have some aim wide to handle our agility by sacrificing more of their people. 

Even if we can pick off the mages in large amounts from a distance with arrows or magic. 100+ mages firing light beams at us at once takes its toll.

Seeing the entire military force of the other three races, all mobilized just to kill us does make me grin. Those bastards knew that if they were to ever destroy us, it would take something of this scale. To be able to see the entire military of the world at our gates... At least they did not take us lightly.

Somewhere in this core room, there will be a large marble slab. On it is a specific engraving that Tavelestine has only just finished after decades of research and experiments. It matches a slab that should have been placed in front of the dungeon door to the Abyssal Dungeon. The normal path is completely sealed at the cost of one of Loralei's lieutenants, may the Goddess of Chaos have mercy on him and her other men. Even if they dug for a century, they will not find that entrance.

I must admit to you, this type of enchantment was only just completed in time and is untested on this scale. It is the magnum opus of Tavelstein. The culmination of centuries of his work. Even untested, I implore you to believe in him and his work, as I have many times before. If he says it is complete, then I trust it with my life.

It is locked so that one must be wearing my signet ring to activate it. While standing on the slab, channel mana into the slab itself and it will activate a teleportation circle to take you there or back. Should the need ever arrive, the slabs may also be moved inside of the dungeons, yet still linked and work. As... eccentric… as that mage is, he is an expert at breaking the commonly accepted rules of magic. It might take him decades or centuries of his odd research methods, but his results always speak for themselves.

Now, enough ramblings of a long dead man.

Near this letter will be my personal belt pouch. Inside are my personal effects, but there are three that are of particular note.

The first is a signet ring. This is only wearable by the ruler of the vampires or one temporarily given their authority.

The second is a crown made of tungsten. It is extremely heavy and brittle. May the wearer never forget the weight of their decisions or the fragility of their rule.

The final is the mithril Godsword of the vampires, Seren. Forged from the only mithril ever known to exist, from a fallen star millennia ago. Seren and the other three Godswords for the rulers of the other races, are the finest blades in existence. Stronger and sharper than any dwarfsteel, and better at channeling magic than any staff. It is enchanted to only have one wielder at a time.

Before continuing this letter, I ask that you please wear the crown and ring and hold Seren.

Ailine must have been reading slightly ahead because when I turned she was presenting me with the items and a large smile on her face.

I felt like I knew where this was going and was conflicted. However, as the only two vampires in existence, I didn't have much of a choice where fate—or the Goddess of Chaos—will guide me.

Thus, I did as the letter said, and Ailine helped me get everything set. The crown was large and hanging off my brow. The ring was loose. The sword I assumed was Seren, was so heavy I could barely hold it in my remaining hand.

Ailine had to hold and read the letter now since I was still down to one arm.

By the power entrusted to me by the Goddess of Chaos, the God of Order, and their [system], I, Rory Nightshade, do hereby relinquish the title of King of the Vampires, and bestow that title to the vampire currently wearing the signet, wearing the crown, holding the Godsword Seren, and whose blood will mix with mine on this letter.

Inheritor, please prick a finger and place it on top of my print at the bottom of this letter. Once done, the enchantment in this letter will activate and it will burn away.

I thank you for coming here. For however long you may rule, may it be just and may you find those you care for that will walk with you.

-Rory Nightshade, former King of the Vampires

That was the end of the letter from a long dead king. 

(Do it! Do it! Do it!)

"Here, Lia, let me help."

Both of them seemed extremely excited about this. Taking a dagger, she pricked my finger and brought the letter to it over the fingerprint already there. She never really even gave me a chance with how quickly she was going. Oh well. Fuck it. Guess we're doing this.

Immediately after, the letter lit on fire and burned away. A blue glow began coming from my body and the items. 

The crown and signet ring both shrunk down to fit me comfortably, and the sword became immediately lighter.

As the glow was increasing, I briefly admired the sword with it's ornate cross guard and pommel. As well as the pattern on the blade that made it look like a lightning bolt was coming out of the cross guard. The blade was silver with a blue tint and the patterning down the blade was a very slightly darker blue.

As immediately as it began, the glow stopped, and windows appeared.

----------

System Notice to all users with the race: Vampire

Through a last will and testament, user Rory Nightshade, holder of the title: King of the Vampires, has chosen the successor of said title to be user Dalia Midnight

----------

System Notice to all users with the race: Vampire

Through a last will and testament, user Rory Nightshade has abdicated the title: King of the Vampires

----------

System Notice to all users with the race: Vampire

Through right of succession, user Dalia Midnight, has accepted the title: Queen of the Vampires

----------

Title acquired - Queen of the Vampires

----------

Notice:

Would you like to merge the soulshard within item 'Seren' with artificial interface 'Navi?'

Warning: once begun, the change will not be reversible

Commence merge?

YES / NO

----------

Holy shit. 

"Um, Nav–"

(YES! Lia, please, please, please, hit yes! That sounds like something awesome will happen!)

That answers that question. Mentally hitting yes, more windows appear.

----------

Commencing merger of soulshard and artificial interface 'Navi'

…

Merger failed. Reason: incompatible race

Reconfiguring acceptable race within soulshard

…

Reconfiguration successful

Resuming merger

…

Merger failed. Reason: race has lesser access to [system] than lowest acceptable access as denoted by [Admin]

Reconfiguring race parameters and sending report to [Admin]

…

Reconfiguring paused by [Admin: Chaos]

Merger paused by [Admin: Chaos]

…

…

Soulshard has been merged with artificial soulseed by [Admin: Chaos]

Soul interference requires dual [Admin] approval. Sending report to all admins designated within [System]

…

Merger approved by [Admin: Order]

Warning: soulshard and artificial soulseed are incompatible

Configuring artificial soulseed to merge with soulshard

...

Configuration complete

'Soulshard' has been upgraded to 'soul'

...

New race created within [System] via soul merger interface by [Admin: Order]

New race physical parameters created by [Admin: Chaos]

Race designated for merger of artificial intelligence 'Navi' and 'soul' updated by [Admin: Chaos]

Running diagnostics

...

Reason for initial reconfiguration deemed unnecessary

Commencing merger of soul and artificial intelligence 'Navi' into physical vessel designated by [Admin: Chaos]

…

Unanimous [Admin] approval required to launch new race within [System]

Sending approval request to all admins designated within [System]

Request approved unanimously by [Admin: Chaos] and [Admin: Order]

Completing final merger and launch

…

Complete

----------

After that mess of notifications, there was a bright and blinding light.

When we opened our eyes, there in front of me on the ground was a small, naked woman with bright red wings. She was only about a foot tall and had long red hair.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" It pumped its fists and did a jig on the floor. "I got a body! Hey Lia! Ailine! Check me out! I got a body!" 

The little being in front of me shouted out in an all too familiar voice.

I stare blankly at Navi. "You're a fairy…"

They actually did it… Those damn Gods actually made Navi into a fucking fairy… What next? Will I wear a green pointy hat? I already have pointy ears.

"Ohohoho! Not just any fairy! I am the great Navi! The first of the fairies! Bow down and be amazed!" she says with fists on her hips and nose held high.

"And still as haughty as ever." I retorted.

Ailine looked at Navi with sparkling eyes. "You look so cute, Navi."

Apparently, she likes small, cute things.

"Right! My girl, I'm toats gonna ask you to make some cute dresses. And Lia!"—she points at me—"You best watch out! I'm going to steal all of your left socks and slightly misplace your stuff when you aren't looking! Muahaha!"

Fucking Gods, what the hell have you released into the world? The puns, the pranks, the world is doomed. Pandora's box is now open. RIP Erald.

As I was wondering what this new flying ball of entropy would wreak havoc on first, I pointed out something to her. 

"Hey, Navi, you should probably check out that pile behind you."

In a neat little pile was a sword that was fairy sized, a small pot with a sprout coming out of it, and a very small red silk dress complete with panties and a pair of flats. There was also a tiny letter with writing much too small for me to read. Navi squealed, opened the letter, and read it out loud.

Hello Navi, and welcome to the world!

First, we want to congratulate you on being the first of the fairies! When the soulshard Rory just happened to coincidentally leave inside the sword, tried to merge with you, it took me and Order a bit by surprise. I totally didn't see that coming. Nope, I was clueless. Completely. Definitely.

After deciding it'd be worth a try, and thanks to Dalia's inspiration with your name, we decided to launch a fifth race, and created you! You're now merged with a real soul, and nothing about you is artificial anymore! You're a real person!

Here are the basics of your new race and their balance that Order came up with.

Fairies are, of course, physically weak due to their size. They're extremely agile, are the only race that can fly, and have unmatched control over manipulating mana. They can't use quite as much mana as the vampires, but with their control, they can do much more with what they do have! You're the Prius to the vampires' Camaro!

For physiology, fairies are made purely out of condensed mana, and are similar to dungeon monsters in that way. When they die, they'll dissolve back into mana to be reabsorbed by the world. You can heal all wounds, like vampires, just much quicker than they can since they're partly physical.

Also like vampires, you're immortal and can't become sick, but can still be killed. You can also see equally well in the light as in the dark! Being made of mana, your diet is mana. Even the ambient mana in the air. Essentially, you don't need to eat and don't need sleep!

There are only female fairies and your reproduction and life are tied to that small potted flower. To balance you being able to fly endlessly without rest or eating, Order needed to tie you to something and create a vulnerability for you.

I can't say this enough. That little sprout will turn into your home flower. If it dies, you die. If you die, it dies. Guard your flower!

For reproduction, once every couple years, your flower will create a pseudo-rhizome that will sprout into another flower about a month after the rhizome is created. It'll look like a little vine attached to your flower with a bud at the end that will grow the new fairy. The time to create a rhizome can be increased or decreased based on the amount of mana you feed your flower or take from it. Be sure to manage your flower well to give birth when you want to! 

This new flower, when it blooms, will have an adult fairy inside who will have her life tied to her flower. She'll already know some of the information you unconsciously consider basic or common sense, but not all of it. In a lot of areas, they'll still be children. Be sure to raise them well! She'll be an independent person with a soul like yourself. However, her flower can be severed at any time by you, killing her instantly. If you or your flower is ever killed, then all flowers attached to your flower also die.

If you choose to, you can appoint a fairy as another Fairy Queen, thereby severing but rooting her flower and allowing her to make her own territory, and her flower to grow its own rhizomes.

At any given time, there could be multiple Fairy Queens. Just be careful, as this'll make her completely independent from you, and you may end up with a cute little fairy war!

Because your flower is directly tied to you, a living being, it can't be placed in storage. It'll always be your largest vulnerability. It'll grow slowly and is very resilient. You shouldn't need to repot or plant it for a few years or so. You'll instinctively know what your flower needs since it's a part of you.

Because we created a brand new race, you deserve to be treated as such! Thus, I took a sliver off of Seren to create the mithril sword of the Fairies!

We also made sure you kept your ability to merge users in the [system] and you kids can keep talking via it. We call it 'Fairy Communication (Fairy)' within your skills.

There you have it! Take care of your flower as it grows and enjoy being the first of your race, the Fairy Queen, Navi!

Damn. Shit is escalating quickly. It's like we just finished a long fucking tutorial and everything is saying, 'easy parts over, now don't die!'

"So, what now?" I ask.

"Right! You still need to claim the core, Lia!" Navi flies up in the air and hovers.

I quirk an eyebrow. "And what'll that do?" 

"It'll let us come back here from the iron doors and will let you customize levels!" she says as she begins dancing and flying around. "But monsters will all have their normal strength, hostility, and drops associated with them."

"Well damn. That would be awesome. What should I do?"

"Drop some blood on the core and you're all done! As long as the dungeon master is alive, they can't be replaced. If you die, the core goes back to default settings."

"I'll help, Lia." Ailine says, bringing out the dagger from earlier.

"Thanks, Ailine." I reach out my hand for her.

She pricked my finger again and we dropped some blood onto the core. It glowed, and yet another notification popped up.

Title acquired - Dungeon Master (Tutorial Dungeon)

That's a thing, now.

Now that we're done, I turn towards the others. "How about we take these bags and head home? We can look through them and know what we have. I also want to grab a meal if you want, Ailine. My arm still stings and the quicker I can get it back, the better."

"That sounds good to me, Lia," she says as she walks towards me. "Let me take the bags."

"I'll carry my flower!" our new (?) party member says as she wraps her arms barely around the pot. "Let's go girls!"

Together, loaded with bags of great potential, new titles, a new body, and missing an arm, we head back home.