Breakfast was quiet. Theonis wasn’t sure why. Maybe everyone was as melancholy as he was that they’d be leaving soon. But that didn’t explain why it felt like everyone’s eyes were on him for some reason. He kept glancing around, but no one would look at him for more than a second before turning away.

His heart started to race a little bit. What was going on? Yesterday, everyone liked him. Was the team distancing themselves from him because of his insistence that he wouldn’t stay? The only other alternative was that they’d found out about the pendant. But Lias wouldn’t do that, right?

Ares tried to lock eyes with Lias, but he wasn’t looking at Theonis. Theonis’ heart started pounding. He was finding it hard to breathe. Nobody was saying anything! This was torture!

“Is something the matter?” he finally asked, a little out of breath.

Everyone turned to Dimileios, who spared them a glance before facing Theonis.

“On the first night that we were here,” he began, “did you wander out into the ruins against my instructions?”

Theonis sat there with his mouth agape.

“I… I may have gone for a walk,” he finally choked out.

“Did you take an artifact without telling anyone?”

Theonis wanted to scream. He wanted to stand up and throw his plate at Lias. The bastard had betrayed him. Theonis should leap to his feet and punch Lias right in the jaw.

Instead he sat there, stunned. This was it: this was the moment where everybody started to hate him. It was over. All that goodwill had been for nothing. He was just a thief after all.

“Did you?”

Theonis lowered his head and nodded.

“Dammit!” cried Myrova, throwing her plate to the ground. “What is wrong with you, you stupid boy?! You exposed yourself and all of us to an artifact without knowing whether or not it would be incredibly dangerous! Who knows what might have happened?! After everything that I told you, why did you not immediately turn it over?!”

“I… I…”

“I should have seen this coming,” Satiria said quietly. “I thought you were better than this. I should have been more vigilant. Of course a pirate couldn’t be trustworthy.”

“It’s certainly disappointing,” Kosgoris said. “I’d have thought that after all the trust we’ve shown in you, you would show us a little bit of honesty.”

Kateni didn’t say anything. Theonis glanced up and she was staring at him, knitting her fingers at her mouth in a thoughtful pose. She seemed to be studying him. Theonis withered under her gaze.

Myrova continued, “This is easily the most irresponsible thing that I’ve ever seen. I didn’t think anybody had it in them to make such a bad decision. I was right; we should never have let him come along with us. Is this the reason that you look differently now than when we first met you?”

“It is.”

“Wonderful,” Myrova seethed. “So you knew what was happening to your body and you didn’t do anything to stop it. How can anybody be this reckless? Nothing was stopping you from getting rid of the artifact! You realize that there’s a chance this will never go away, right? You could be stuck looking like this forever. And it’s all your own fault. You realize that, don’t you? You did this to yourself. And for the life of me I just can’t understand why! That’s my big question here: why?!”

Eyes damp from tears, Theonis cried, “Because I like it, okay?!”

Myrova blinked in confusion.

Thoenis continued softly, “I just wanted some pretty jewelry. And I figured that none of you trusted me anyway, so there wouldn’t be any harm. I was afraid to tell you because I knew you’d try to take it away. Then I discovered it was changing me, making me all soft and… feminine… and I started to like my body more that way. I never wanted to be a brute like everyone else I grew up around. That’s why I kept it to myself. And then you all started to trust me and I knew that finding out about this would undo all that progress, so I kept silent even though you could tell that something was happening.”

Things were quiet for a bit.

“That makes sense,” Kateni finally said. Everyone turned to look at her. She shrugged and explained, “If he’s more comfortable in a softer body, then he should be allowed to have one, right?” Looking right at Theonis, she continued, “This doesn’t mean we’re done sparring, of course. I expect you to be strong even if you’re small and soft, boy.”

Theonis took a deep breath and relaxed a little.

“At the very least,” Myrova said, “I should be allowed to examine the artifact and make sure that it’s only affecting him.”

In the smallest voice he could muster, Theonis asked, “Does… Does that mean that I can keep it?”

Dimileios thought for a few moments, then said, “As long as Myrova can prove that it’s safe, it wouldn’t be the end of the world if one of them didn’t make it back to the Academy of Magic. Unless someone has any objections?”

“I’m upset that he lied to us,” Satiria said. “But I don’t really care what he does with his own body.”

Kosgoris nodded and replied, “I agree. The real problem here is the lack of honesty.”

Lias just shrugged.

“Very well,” Dimileios said. “Turn the artifact over to Myrova. If she deems it safe, she’ll return it to you.”

Theonis nodded. They didn’t hate him. They were angry, but rightfully so. And they didn’t care that he wanted to be more feminine. They accepted him no matter what. Tears began to stream down his face. He was crying. Theonis hadn’t been able to cry since he was a child. It felt good.

Everyone returned to their breakfast after that. Myrova needed to get another plate. It wasn’t long before people started breaking off to get ready for the day. Shortly after Lias got up to leave, Theonis stood up and followed. Lias was in his tent with the flap open, getting ready for the day. He looked up when Theonis approached.

“Hey there,” he said simply.

“What the fuck was that?!” Theonis cried.

“What? What’s wrong?”

Theonis’ mouth dropped open.

“What do you mean ‘what’s wrong’? You betrayed me! I told you about the pendant in confidence, and you turned around and told everybody! I trusted you, more than anybody else here. So I repeat: what the fuck?!”

“You certainly swear like a pirate,” Lias said, crossing his arms. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“How the fuck did you reach that conclusion?”

“Look, I get that it was a big decision on your part to trust me. But that’s not my problem. I would have gotten in so much trouble if someone found out that I knew you were hiding a stolen artifact. Everybody would have stopped trusting me. And I’m not going to risk losing my spot on the team for somebody who doesn’t even want to be here.”

“I do want to be here!” Theonis insisted.

“You’ve turned down everyone who’s asked you to stay on the team. We’ve talked to each other about that, kid. Nobody’s sure why you’re so determined to leave, but you’ve made it clear you’re not part of the group. I’m not going to risk my neck for you.”

“No. All you care about is looking out for yourself.”

Lias shrugged, replying, “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“Theonis.” Theonis turned to look at Kateni, who had just walked up. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” Kateni scowled and Theonis glanced away, a little ashamed that he’d lashed out like that. “No, I’m not. But I appreciate the gesture. I guess I just expected better of the people on this team than to stab each other in the back.” Lias rolled his eyes. “Maybe I shouldn’t even want to stay on this team if that’s the kind of behavior I can expect.”

“Then you do want to stay?” Kateni asked.

Theonis stormed off without answering. He hid himself in his own little tent, sitting down on the bedroll and fuming. Someone approached the tent, probably Kateni. Theonis was not in the mood to talk.

“Hello?”

Oh, it was Kosgoris.

“Hi,” Theonis croaked.

“I was wondering if you wanted to learn any more first aid skills today?”

“Why bother?” Theonis asked. “I’m going to be gone soon.”

“I guess that’s true, but if you had that attitude then why learn anything at all?” Theonis didn’t respond. “If I can offer some advice: don’t worry too much about the future. Just try to enjoy the moment for what it is.”

Theonis nodded, then replied, “Alright. I’ll be right out.”

The rest of the day progressed as if the incident at breakfast had never happened. After giving the pendant to Myrova to examine, Theonis learned a few more first aid tricks from Kosgoris, then went to collect firewood, helped with lunch, and in the afternoon sparred with Kateni. She wasn’t going any easier on him despite what she’d learned, and he found himself grateful.

He’d thought that people finding out about his secret would ruin things. Theonis hadn’t had a chance to talk to Myrova or Satiria at all to see if they were still upset with him, but almost everybody else had accepted him with ease. He could never expect that kind of reaction at home.

The next morning, Theonis didn’t want to open his eyes. If he woke up, he had to face the fact that this was the very last day of the expedition. But if he never woke up, he’d never have to. It was a brilliant plan.

Outside, people were milling around the fire. Breakfast had probably started. Theonis was hungry. There was no use fighting it. He opened his eyes and searched his bag for the least dirty shirt he could find.

“Good morning,” Dimileios said as Theonis approached the fire.

Theonis grunted in reply.

It turned out that nobody was going back into the ruins today. Everyone was staying in camp to finish up their notes and pack up their supplies. It promised to be a very slow day.

Theonis sat around the fire while everybody else got to work. They wouldn’t leave until the next day, so he’d need to gather firewood for that night, but they didn’t need the fire to last all day since nobody needed to navigate by the smoke plume. He watched it burn out, then stood up to go find Kateni.

“I hope you’re ready,” Kateni said, raising her blade.

“Is this our last sparring match?” Theonis asked.

“We can continue training on the ship as long as we don’t get in anyone’s way.”

“Good to know.”

Theonis walked away from their training field sore and with a few new bruises, but satisfied. He approached the cooking station, intending to help Kosgoris prepare lunch.

“Myrova was looking for you,” Kosgoris said.

“Oh. Thank you.”

He walked toward Myrova’s tent. Lias’ tent flap was open, but he didn’t look up when Theonis passed. Theonis scowled.

“Myrova?” he asked when he reached her tent.

“Come in.”

Myrova was poring over her notes when Theonis entered. She picked up the pendant and held it out. Theonis’ heart leapt.

“I couldn’t find anything wrong with it,” she said. “It seems safe enough.”

“Thank you,” Theonis said, taking the pendant gingerly. “I’m so sorry for all of this.”

“Just don’t do it again,” she warned.

Theonis put the pendant on and hid it underneath his shirt. It was a little warm. He was a little more relaxed now that this was behind him.

That afternoon, the team members finished their work one by one and began breaking down their work tents. Theonis helped in between his trips to get more firewood. By the time Kosgoris and Theonis started dinner, everyone was fully packed up and the small tents had been set up for the night. They’d be ready to leave in the morning once they packed up the cooking station.

One everyone was gathered around the fire, Theonis and Kosgoris began handing out dinner to everyone.

“You’re not going to leave anything behind this time, are you?” Satiria asked Lias. Lias replied with a playful smirk.

Theonis didn’t participate in the pleasant dinner chatter. Occasionally someone would ask him a question and he’d answer, but otherwise he kept to himself. He ate slowly, trying to make the moment last as long as possible.

Eventually, Dimileios sat his plate to the side and stood up, then cleared his throat.

“I want to congratulate everyone on a job well done,” he said. “Despite some unforeseen setbacks, everyone did a very good job. Our expedition is a rousing success. Special thanks to our friend Theonis, who worked tirelessly to make sure that everyone else had what they needed to do their best.”

There were a few nods and murmurs of agreement from around the fire. Theonis grinned a little bit but bit his lip in embarrassment. People had always expected a lot out of him, but it didn’t normally feel this good to get praise for it.

Dimileios brought out his bottle of ouzo and filled a cup, passing it around for everyone to take a drink. When it came to Theonis, he almost passed before taking a large gulp. It stung going down and he had to gasp for air as he handed the cup to the next person.

Theonis went to bed shortly after, his head buzzing as he took off his clothes in the tent. He curled up and closed his eyes. It was a little lonely in there. Outside, everyone continued to talk and laugh.

He didn’t want this to be the end. Even though he was going to stay with them until they delivered him home, it felt like the adventure was over. Theonis was never going to have a journey like this again and it hurt. He grabbed onto his pendant and drifted off to sleep, glad that this part of his life had changed him for the better.

QuillRabbit

Well, that was a disaster, but at least it didn't ruin things between Theonis and the crew.

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