I spent the rest of debutante season dancing like I would die tomorrow. Though I wished it never would, February came, and it was time for the next event in the novel.

Originally, Sophia, grateful to Catherine for standing up for her against my bullying at her debutante, invited her to a tea party where they became friends. That wasn’t about to happen, given Sophia was across the world and I had made sure Catherine’s first impressions and early reputation were damaged enough that no one else had befriended her. 

I didn’t have to follow the novel, but it was a good opportunity to find out more about Catherine and run thorough tests on her personality. Besides, I had gossip to spread about my dear new friend. Thus, an invitation was sent to everyone who mattered, and we gathered on a lovely sunny day in the garden of my mansion. 

“Hello, Lady Valentina! It’s so nice of you to invite me!”

“You’re very welcome. I’m delighted you could come, Lady Catherine.”

Catherine was as cute and sweet as ever, and after knowing her slightly, I couldn’t help but like her a little. She was a stupid pet, a toy I might’ve enjoyed playing with, if she weren’t a threat. In another life, perhaps, she could have been one of my minions. 

Since almost all respectable young ladies of high society came, we filled up many tables. The most important ones, me, my closest friends, the notorious gossips, and Catherine sat together in the gazebo. 

As the guests finished arriving, I stood up and soon had the attention of everyone. I smiled. 

“Ladies, I would like you all to welcome Lady Catherine Bryant, who is not only newly debuted, but just recently joined our society after being raised as a commoner. She’s certainly quite intriguing!”

My words were pleasant enough that they would appear as a compliment to Catherine, but to a true aristocrat who could take a hint, it was clear they had deeper meaning. This was to arouse the ladies’ curiosity, so by the time they left, stories would spread like wildfire. 

Catherine blushed and stood up, which was good, given that she couldn’t compare to me in the slightest. She beamed like an innocent child. 

“Thank you so much, Lady Valentina! I hope to be friends with everyone!”

With that, the real fun began. I introduced Catherine to the people sitting at our table, who furtively gawked at her. Delilah and Annalise were well prepared, and the gossipmongers sat like hungry animals waiting for the first sign of blood. 

I started the first order of business: a thorough examination and exposé. 

- - -

“So, Lady Catherine, have you read many books?”

Lady Annalise was so fair and graceful that Catherine felt utter admiration towards her. She smiled brightly, happy to possibly make another friend. 

“Yes! I used to live in a bookstore, and I really liked reading.”

It had been her only source of entertainment, other than watching people go by from her window. Uncle had told her to read as much as she could, because it apparently made her smarter, so whenever she wasn’t studying, she did. She liked reading about the lives people had and wondering if one day she could be like that. 

“Oh? Have you read all twelve volumes of The Affairs of Abbeyton Manor?”

Lady Delilah was the one who asked this time. She was so elegant that Catherine was in awe.

“I have, though some parts were a little hard to understand. I enjoyed it, overall!”

After making it through a few complicated chapters, she had grown to love the complex characters and the freedom in which they lived. When Uncle was in a bad mood, the fantastic stories especially helped distract her. Often, she dreamt that she was the one doing whatever she wished, riding across a prairie or wrapped up in romances, instead of being a disappointment to Uncle. 

“What do you think of the seventh volume? And of…”

Catherine talked happily with Lady Delilah, who was as smart as she was beautiful, which made Catherine look up to her even more. She’d loved spending time taking apart sentences until she could fully understand what they meant and answered Lady Delilah’s questions with pleasure. 

Finally, Lady Annalise cut in. 

“Yes, yes, you’re very literary, I see. What about music? A properly noble lady surely knows how to play an instrument?”

Catherine flushed, embarrassed. Uncle didn’t know how to play music, he hadn’t allowed anyone to meet her because it wasn’t safe, and books didn’t help much, so music instruction had been out of the question. She’d been taking piano lessons since she returned, but with little progress in such a short time. Still, she was glad Lady Annalise was so kind as to give her advice.

“I can’t yet, but I’m learning the piano! If you have any tips, I would really appreciate it.”

“I’m afraid not. Are you good?”

“No, but I’m practicing a lot!”

Lady Annalise nodded and Catherine smiled. She would work hard and learn everything she needed to make Uncle proud! It was what she’d been doing her whole life, after all. 

“What of the sciences and mathematics?”

Catherine hoped she wouldn’t disappoint Lady Delilah with her reply, but she wouldn’t be able to tell anyways with her neutral expression. Oddly, though Lady Delilah didn’t show much emotion and was a little imposing, she was much more charming than Prince Oscar. 

“Ah, it’s difficult sometimes, but I’m trying.”

She had learned the sciences and mathematics also through books, but in some cases she just couldn’t comprehend on her own. If Uncle was in a good mood, she would ask, but when he wasn’t, which was most of the time, she was too scared that she would disappoint him. She would waste hours trying to decipher equations and end up nowhere with her head in a mess. 

In the end, Catherine had a large pile of questions she promised herself she would ask when Uncle was in a good mood. However, he never stayed in a good mood long enough, and answering too many irritated him, so the pile just kept growing. 

“And philosophy?”

“I love it! It…inspires me greatly.”

The philosophy books had been Catherine’s favourites. They kept her going when Uncle was in a really bad mood and she felt like giving up, and though some pushed her closer to the edge, a special few brought her back. They spoke of the passions of life, of what she might one day have if she persisted on. She had hung desperately onto that hope, the mere possibility of a better future with the freedom books spoke of, for dear life. 

Catherine caught a glance from Lady Valentina, who wore a slight smile. Before Catherine could say anything, Lady Annalise spoke. 

“That’s all well, but what about your credentials? Is it true you only have Second Class? Why, everyone here’s passed their Third Class!”

“Yes, but I’m working very hard to prepare for Third Class.”

Heat crept into Catherine’s face at the unfortunate truth. Uncle had made special arrangements for a proctor to come to the bookstore while she took the exams so she wouldn’t have to leave the house, and that her marks were made satisfactory. However, Third Class was more strict, and she simply wasn’t ready for some subjects. 

“Well, I wish you the best of luck.”

“Thank you, Lady Annalise!”

Lady Annalise was so kind! But on the other side of the table, a lady snorted loudly. All eyes went to her, and she raised an eyebrow. 

“I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but Lady Catherine, you plainly lack etiquette, dignity, and sophistication! To be absolutely honest, I dislike and disapprove of you completely. Are you truly even a baron’s daughter?”

Catherine swallowed, her cheeks burning. Even if it was the truth, it was humiliating. The lady’s parents must not’ve taught her well, but Catherine couldn’t fathom why anyone would say such a thing that had to be described as…a little insensitive.

Uncle had taught her it was because she wasn’t good enough, so she must accept and improve. Yet he had also said she couldn’t be weak and make a fool of herself, so she must defend herself when necessary, just not against him, of course. 

Catherine took a deep breath. All eyes were on her. 

“My father is Baron Bryant and that’s nothing but the truth. I know I’m not good at many things yet, but I’m trying my hardest!”

- - -

So, the female lead wasn’t a complete pushover after all. How interesting. 

What had I gathered? Catherine was good at literature and philosophy, likely finding escapism as I did in my past life. I had to admit she was not unintelligent, doing her best teaching herself with books and coming as far as she did. With all the pressure, she likely worked hard, and may have had potential if the resources were better. 

Her responses were good to Annalise’s and Delilah’s rigorous interrogation, and to the passive aggressive questions as well, especially the last insult. I had encouraged the lady beforehand, not wanting to risk my friends’ reputations, but the results were the same. Catherine may be crude and lack finesse, but she was also genuinely kind. 

I supposed I had to do better for a real show. I laughed. 

“Oh, don’t take it to heart, Lady Catherine! She’s teasing, that’s all. Now, why don’t you tell us more about your life as a commoner?”

Catherine’s expression quickly relaxed back into an easy smile and she nodded agreeably, probably happy to change the subject. I smiled gently and folded my hands as I prepared to destroy her, my eyes glinting. 

“Who exactly is your uncle? He raised you, no? And works for the baron these days?”

Her expression froze and she blinked slowly. I resisted the urge to laugh. 

“Um… I got moved to a lot of different orphanages when I was a child because they couldn’t feed everyone, until Uncle adopted me. He bought a bookstore and I grew up there. Father hired him as his valet when he found me, to thank him for raising me!”

“But I heard he actually identified himself as your uncle, before adopting you?”

“He lost touch with his sister a long time ago and initially thought I may be his niece because I looked like her. Even when he realized I wasn’t, he was kind and kept me.”

A reasonable story, so well prepared she didn’t even look like she felt guilty for lying. Perhaps she had been told it was the truth and chose not to question it, like how she didn’t question why I knew. It was better for sanity that way. 

“Do you like him? I mean, is he a good person?”

“Absolutely! He’s simply wonderful, bringing me up and doing so much for me. He taught me to be everything I am, so he’s very important to me. That’s why I work really hard, because I want to make him proud!”

Catherine spoke like she believed it, though her eyes were oddly haunted. I felt a pang in my chest. Once upon a time, in another world, I had been just as devoted to my parents. I detested this reminder with my whole heart and soul, the mere thought making me sick. 

“What kind of person is he, though? How did he raise you?”

“Uncle is really the kindest. He made sure we always lived comfortably, and he bought me gifts when I was good. He never hit me or anything like that.”

No, of course not. The baron wouldn’t want any visible scars on his precious puppet, just enough emotional bounds to keep her under control. From personal experience, I knew fully how strong the bond between Catherine and her uncle was. It would be impossible to turn her against him, unless she did it without knowing. 

I gazed at Catherine and saw a reflection of my past life. A weak, powerless, pathetic little girl, unwilling to scream for help and lose the only love she knew. Afraid to disappoint, afraid to fail, forever tied down by the lure of affection that was never enough. Slowly falling apart, hanging onto whatever promise of freedom there would be. In my case, freedom that had been snatched away before I could enjoy it. Freedom I would treasure, this time. 

It disgusted me. Her helplessness, the shame of my past life. If I could, I would kill the girl I used to be a thousand times. I hated this, Catherine’s very existence, and facing her instead of whoever made her this way. Yet she was the one more accessible, the easiest to destroy, to clear my path. 

By whatever means, I never wanted to feel weak again.