Part 1 

"What? I'm telling you the truth, you suck at playing me." 

The girl pushed me over and sat on the piano bench, looking upward toward me in the dim-light room. The windows of my apartment shone from behind me, casting a human shadow over her face. 

"N-No-Yeah, but, did you have to phrase it that way? And what do you mean playing you? Is this related to the joke where you called yourself a piano? Haah, get out, or I'll call the police." 

I frantically gestured with my hands, ultimately pointing toward the door. 

"Haah? Do I really have to prove it? Even though you've been with me for 15 years?" 

The girl sighed, resting her hands on her hips before tilting her head with a tired expression. 

I didn't say anything. 

Taking my silence as approval, the girl closed her eyes and crossed her arms, taking a deep breath before dragging her eyes toward the ground. 

What happened next happened so suddenly that my heart stopped for a second. 

After blinking, the figure of my piano appeared right behind the girl who was seated. 

When I blinked again, the piano disappeared. 

"Since it's my body, I can decide whether it's there or not. You get it now? Wannabe Virtuoso Arthur?" 

The girl stood up and pressed her finger under my chin with a frown on her face. 

"T-The Piano just-" 

Keeping my gaze to the now-empty space behind her, I shakingly pointed my finger toward it. 

"Yes, the piano did just disappear and reappear, just like how humans can retract their fingers, I can decide whether or not the piano is here or not. Because it's me."

"Wait, so, the piano- no, you just."

"Yes."

"You're the piano?"

"Yes." 

Soaking up droplets of realization, I sighed before releasing the energy in my legs, sitting down. 

"For 15 years you spent hours every day on top of me, using your manly fingers to hit my special notes, I love it best when you play in G Major that way you can properly finger my G-notes... haah... haah...  And you sometimes open me up to pluck on my-" 

The girl squeezed her thighs together and rubbed them on top of her skirt, putting her hands between them while she was doing it. She had a lewd expression on her face as she erotically breathed and moaned outward. 

"Heeeey! That lewd phrasing isn't necessary! I only open you up so I can tune and clean the piano-no, you! And the way you describe G Major, aaaaa! Is that why every time I play a piece on any of the G scales I hear suspicious moaning coming from inside the piano?! I can't believe it, I just solved a lifelong mystery!" 

This realization caught my heart, I leaned forward, slapping my hands on my thighs. 

"Anyways, I'm hungry, can we buy some food?" 

"No wait, so when I was playing the piano back when I was a kid the occasional female voice saying 'Haha, you're so cute when you touch me like that', 'Hah, how pathetic, trying to play a Liszt piece on me? Come back in 100 years!' or 'Welcome to the world of carpal tunnel', that was you?!" 

The examples I used were the ones that left an impression on me when I was a kid.

Before this, I thought that it was just the voices in my head telling me to improve although harsh, but I did have tiny suspicions because those very voices taught me new words and phrases like "You can't satisfy me with that", "Aah, it feels so good" and "You're not a real pianist if you can't do glissando.". 

"Yes, that was me, watching you cry in the corner of your room afterwards made me feel good." 

"You're a sick piano, how does that make you feel good?" 

Part 2 

"Munch munch munch." 

"Miss Piano, no one words the word 'munch' when eating." 

"Munch munch munch." 

"Miss Piano, did you hear me?" 

"Munch munch munch." 

"Miss Piano, you're not even eating anymore, you're just wording munch munch munch." 

"Munch munch munch."

The piano girl put her elbows on the wooden table, resting her hands underneath her chin as she looked at me in the eyes with a mocking and derisive expression, continuing to 'Munch munch' with her voice. 

"Miss Piano, you're pissing me off." 

"Munch munch-"

"MUNCH!" 

An explosive sound abrupted as my chair fell over from the force of me standing up and slamming my palm on the wooden table, I used the other hand to grab the cheeks of the piano girl sitting in front of me. 

"AaaawaWWAAaA, itsh hursshhts, plwEase let goo of meee!" (It hurts, please let go of me!)

Seeing as though there were some people around us, I awkwardly sat back down, though my heart was still fuming with irritation. 

The piano girl adjusted her position on her seat. 

Turning her head a few times to look at the expressions of others around us, she looked back toward me and grinned. 

"Munch munch munch." 

I'll kill you. 

Right now, we were at a cafe near my apartment that was serving light food. 

Apparently, pianos can get hungry too, so she requested that we go out to a nearby food place and buy something to eat.

"You're thinking 'I'm a piano, how can I get hungry', right? I'm not hungry, I just like the taste of food." 

"Okay, give me back the food." 

"Wait noooo!" 

After a few minutes of fighting over the food in front of us, a waitress who looked bothered by our antics came over and told us to stop fighting. 

"Mm, so, what do I call you? Calling you piano girl or Miss piano doesn't seem right." 

I rested my elbows on the table, leaning forward. 

Seeing this, piano girl did the same thing. 

"Well, my name is WH Paling Victor Model No. 090320, if that bothers you, then what should I be called?" 

"I don't know, you tell me." 

"Technically, you're my owner, so you should be the one to name me." 

"Haah?" 

Having lived in a world where it was about 200 years ago where slavery was abolished and the mere mention of it would have people tilting their heads and squinting their eyes at you disapprovingly, this idea of owning someone was too much for me.

I frowned before crossing my arms and leaning backward. 

But still, I guess it'd make sense to technically be her owner. 

"I see, then, what name do you prefer?"

"Tch, coward." 

Piano girl clicked her tongue as she looked off to the side. 

"What did you say? Do you want to be called sissy girl?" 

"Forgive me, master. Please don't name me sissy girl." 

Her attitude changed completely, her expression one of servitude. 

"Alright then, your name is Charlotte." 

"Aah, that's a good name, thank you." 

After receiving her name, Charlotte smiled contently. 

You're welcome, by the way, how old are you?" 

"I was made in 09/03/2000, so I'm twenty years old." 

"So not only have you been with me for almost my entire life, you're the same age as me." 

Of course, I knew this, I was just confirming it. 

"Mhm! I know everything about you, like how you enjoy watching intense hardcore pornography, like how you used to dream of being exactly like Mozart, how when you were a 16-year-old teenager, you were agonizing about whether or not your size was big enough-" 

"Stop talking, please stop talking!" 

Before she could continue, I once again slammed my palm onto the table creating a thunderous clap across the entire cafe. I felt the weight in my chest increase as it suffocatingly tightened from the sheer embarrassment. 

My face went hot, burning.

Not only did I squeeze my thighs in response to her last few words but I felt my heart slowly pumping as my ears surveyed the entire cafe room, searching for signs that anyone could have heard what she had just said. 

I jumped beside Charlotte and put her in a headlock, covering her mouth in the process. 

"Mhrmmmrrmghhh!" 

"Forget everything you just said, okay? And forget everything else, okay? I'm not worried about anything, okay? That was the worries of youth!" 

"Mmmmh! I get it! I get it! But I will never forget! Especially when you started to measure it before going on the internet for validation-!" 

After finding a way to speak, Charlotte shouted with a grin on her face, almost laughing. 

"Is it this mouth?! Is it this mouth that's saying all of this?! It's this stupid mouth, isn't it?! I'll stitch your lips together and hit you on the head to forget all of that! Forget everything!" 

"I will never forget!" 

"Sir! Sir! Please stop fighting inside the cafe! What she said is nothing to be embarrassed about!"

A female employee from earlier watching from behind shouted with a frantic voice. 

Did you hear all that?! 

I went on my knees as I kept her neck in my headlock, a few employees rushed over, trying to pry me off of her. 

"God dammmit! AaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA!"