It was commonly known that Joshua Lee cannot cook. His mother and older sister can attest that all he has ever done in the kitchen was to make a mess.
But that was before he left the country three years ago. At that time, he had had a falling out with his father and had been disowned because of his orientation. Lost and alone, he had jumped at a transfer and ended up in a country halfway across the world.
There, Joshua had adapted to the weather and working environment but it was also there that he realized how homesick he was because he missed the food. And it was through the longing for food from back home that he had met his then boyfriend, currently husband, Erick O’Brien.
Erick had been posted to the company branch in Josh’s home country and grew to love the exotic flavours that Josh’s country had to offer. He learned a whole range of different cuisines and had used that to woo Josh. As the saying goes, the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. (It took Erick about six months to make it official)
Joshua also learned how to cook from Erick. When he made his first omelette with the guidance of Erick, he had been so proud of himself that Erick nearly couldn’t stop himself from laughing out loud at Josh’s self-satisfied posturing.
Josh ate every last bit of his omelette (It was slightly oversalted and dry) happily. It was the first thing that he had managed to cook for himself that wasn’t cup noodles! After some practice, he gradually got the hang of it and he could now whip up some decent dishes more often than not.
It was a fulfilling year for Josh then. He had gotten over the confusion about his orientation, found an understanding partner and learned how to cook. He even managed to make his work transfer permanent and now, he and his husband were recognized as legal partners at work and at home.
There were hiccups and challenges of course, because there’s no such thing as “happily ever after”. But that was life, full of certain uncertainties. Come what may, Josh thought that his life was richer and sweeter with every new encounter and he had no regrets for now. He was going to enjoy it one day at a time, with his husband at his side.
* * *
It was Saturday and Erick had gone hiking with some of their friends, leaving Josh home alone. He had declined to go because he had been working overtime the day before and was a little tired. Josh would also admit that he wasn’t the type for outdoor activities and would rather stay home fixing the model warship he had bought.
But after several hours hunched at the worktable squinting at very tiny parts, Josh’s back, eyes and stomach were protesting at his inhumane treatment. He had no choice but to stop to take a break.
Outside the apartment window, Josh could see hints of autumn as the leaves turned orange, yellow and red. It was also getting colder and Josh made a reminder to air out their warmer clothes in preparation. Josh couldn’t help looking at the ring on his left ring finger as he sipped his coffee. He still couldn't believe that they had gotten married.
When they had registered their wedding, it had been a small affair with only their immediate family in attendance. Josh had been touched that his parents and his sister’s new family had come to witness it. He knew that him marrying a man had been difficult for his parents to accept.
His parents had been stiff at first, before the friendliness of Erick’s parents broke down their natural reserve. Joana on the other hand had assimilated immediately with Erick’s siblings, showing off Baby Summer and getting along with Erick’s sisters and sister-in-law, talking about the pains of childbirth, obtuse husbands and other domestic trivialities.
Josh had been flabbergasted at her speed and efficiency but Joanna had always been an outgoing person. And he was glad to have her there. She made it much easier for him to talk to his parents, for him to take this step with Erick.
They were going to be spending Thanksgiving with Erick’s family this year. And in exchange, Josh and Erick were going to spend Christmas with Joana and her in-laws. Then, everyone was going to come here to celebrate the spring festival. It was going to be a crazy carousel but Josh had to admit that he was looking forward to it.
While thinking about the Thanksgiving holiday, Josh had the strangest urge for pumpkin pie. Not the sweet dessert like pie they served for the holiday, the everyday savoury one that he used to eat as a child. It had been one of his favourite breakfast or tea time snack growing up.
He wasn’t sure there was any place selling it here. It looked like he’ll have to make it himself. After all, how hard could it be?
Looking at the time, Josh guessed that his mother would be asleep in her timezone now so he didn’t call home. He would have to look up a recipe online instead. To be on the safe side, he looked up three different recipes, comparing the ingredients and cooking time. Then, he chose the one that looked the easiest.
“Let’s see… rice flour, shallots, pumpkin- duh… dried shrimp, dried shiitake… I don’t remember mum putting any minced meat in so I’ll skip that… right, time to do some shopping.”
He grabbed his coat and left a note on the fridge, in case Erick came home before he did. Before leaving, he also checked the fridge, to see if there was anything else he needed to buy. Since he was going shopping, might as well do it all in one go.
If there was one thing that Josh disliked, it was having to go to multiple stores to buy everything. He started making a plan in his head, in an attempt to save time and effort.
Hitting the nearby farmer’s market first, Josh stopped to buy the shallots, pumpkin and a number of different seasonal vegetables. It was a good thing that both he and Erick loved vegetables and were not particular about the type. Then he went to the nearest Asian market to get the rest of his ingredients.
It was fun to browse the aisles, looking at the familiar and unfamiliar ingredients. He would sometimes do that when he was homesick but he would always end up buying snacks and foodstuff and make Erick shake his head.
But this time, Josh wanted to make the pie before Erick came back so he hurriedly paid for his purchases and went home. Once home, he put away all the other purchases and rolled his sleeves up and got to work.
First thing’s first, look up the recipe that he had decided to use.
“Peel and steam … grams of pumpkin…”
Josh looked at the pumpkin in front of him. Was it too late to regret choosing one this big? He would at most need a quarter of it and he wasn’t sure what they were going to do with the rest. Oh well, Erick will think of something. He happily tossed the responsibility to his husband and got to work slicing the squash.
Once that was done, he placed the cleaned and peeled vegetable into the steamer before he started prepping the other ingredients.
“... gram of rice flour… ah, I haven’t rehydrated the mushroom or shrimp!”
He quickly rinsed the dust off both the dried ingredients before putting them in two separate bowls to soak. Then he went back to peeling and mincing the garlic and shallots. Once done, he heated up a wok to start sautéing the aromatics.
That was when he realized that he hadn’t sliced the mushroom or diced the dried shrimp.
“Calm down…” he told himself before turning off the stove. He chopped up the soaked ingredients and went to check on the pumpkin.
“Ah!” He didn't add enough water and his pot was almost scorched. It was a good thing he had gone to check. He added more water, checked the consistency of the pumpkin and decided to wait another five minutes. This time, he placed all his attention on the steamer instead of doing anything else. The pot had been part of a set that Erick had gifted him so he didn’t want to spoil it.
After the pumpkin was done, he took it out to cool. Now he could get back to working on the next step. Once the pumpkin was cool enough, he roughly smashed it with a fork and placed it to one side. He remembered that it tasted best when there were pieces of pumpkin in every bite.
He mixed the batter and went back to frying the aromatics. The kitchen was filled with the smell of frying garlic and shallots. Then he added the shrimp and mushroom to fry. Once that was starting to smell good, he added a batter made of rice flour, mashed pumpkin and water.
On low heat, he started stirring it, waiting for it to thicken. Josh then remembered that he hadn’t prepared the tray to steam the mixture once it had thickened. He looked about and grabbed the pan that Erick used to make brownies with. It was just the right shape and size.
After oiling the pan, he placed it beside the stove, ready to receive the batter. Now all Josh had to do was to wait for the mixture to thicken. The batter was starting to look really good, bits of golden pumpkin along with the other fried ingredients appeared and disappeared in the milky white batter.
… That's strange he had been stirring the mixture for fifteen minutes now, why wasn’t it as thick as the one shown in the picture?
Josh took the risk and turned the heat up. Finally, he felt some resistance while he was stirring. But it was still much runnier than the pictures shown in the online recipe he had found. Feeling impatient, Josh turned off the heat and poured the batter in the pan. Perhaps it would harden when it was steamed.
Then Josh found another problem… the pan wouldn’t fit the pot he was using to steam the pie. He looked at the kitchen ceiling, took a deep breath then stared daggers at the square pan in a round pot.
Why was everything in the kitchen pitting him today?? He had just wanted to fix a craving and maybe impress his husband. He won’t deny that he was also planning to show off to his sister if the pie came out well but right now, all he would be doing is make his sister die laughing.
Josh finally improvised by placing the pan over a steaming rack in the wok. Of course, he had to wash the wok first. But when he placed the lid over the wok, it was as if a weight had fallen off his shoulders.
Breathing a sigh of relief, he started humming while he cleaned the kitchen. He never understood how he could make the kitchen look like a disaster zone every time he cooked. Now all he had to do was wait.
* * * * *
Erick had a pretty good hike. The national park that they went to was an hour’s drive from his home so he had left before Josh woke up this morning. After the hike, he and his friends had gone for lunch and had a good time catching up.
Erick was sorry that Josh didn’t join him but he knew better than to drag an unfit Josh into the wild. He was the one who would have to carry Josh out if anything happened.
If he guessed correctly, Josh had probably slept in before he started working on that warship model he bought last week. Erick just hoped that Josh remembered to stop to eat.
Tomorrow, he was going to drag Josh out to do some shopping. At the very least he’d get some fresh air and exercise. In the meantime, he wondered what to make for dinner.
“Josh? I’m home.”
Erick was a little unsettled to find the house so quiet. Normally when Josh was working on his models, he’d turn on some music for a little background noise. Was he sleeping?
Putting away his shoes and changing into indoor slippers, he walked towards the bedroom but paused when he passed the kitchen. Josh appeared to have made something, seeing the wok on the stove and a pan on the island counter. But it was strange that he had not put everything away, since Josh liked everything tidy and organized.
“Josh?” he called again.
Not hearing an answer, Erick was beginning to worry. He hurried into the bedroom and found a lump under the covers. Was Josh sick?
“Josh? Honey, are you alright?”
There was movement under the covers but Josh didn’t appear or say a thing. He was upset but Erick had no idea why.
He sat down beside the lump called his husband and waited. After a while, Josh spoke up.
“It didn’t harden.”
“Hmmm?”
“It didn’t get hard.”
Wait, was this what he thought it was? They just got married, don’t ruin their marriage so soon with bedroom problems!
But Erick, the ever caring husband, only gave a loving smile.
“It’s all right. I’ll still love you regardless.”
Josh finally popped his head out from under the covers.
“I know you will but I was so looking forward to surprising you.”
“Well, you can say that I’m surprised now.”
“It’s not the same… I wasn’t sure if you had tried it before so I was looking forward to you eating it.”
Hmmm? There seemed to be something off here. Erick looked at Josh, who was still hidden under the covers.
“Honey? What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the pumpkin pie I tried making.
“Oh…” whew.
Josh looked at him suspiciously.
“What did you think I was talking about?”
“The pumpkin pie you were trying to make.”
Too late, Erick could see Josh replaying the conversation in his mind before he flushed and threw a pillow at him.
“You pervert!”
“I’m sorry!”
Unfortunately, Josh had retreated back under the covers. Erick stared at him before he pressed his whole body weight on top of Josh.
There was a muffled “get off” but Erick didn't budge.
“Don’t get mad, all right? It was an honest mistake.”
“How did you think of that in the first place?”
“Well, you’re in bed, hiding under the covers…”
“And you automatically connect it to me being naked and playing with myself?”
“A man can dream…”
“Is it too late to ask for a divorce?”
“Absolutely too late. I’m yours, you’re mine. If you’re leaving me, then I’m coming with you.”
“Doesn’t that defeat the purpose?”
“Weren’t the vows ‘until death do us part’?”
Josh finally couldn’t stand it anymore and came out from under the blanket. His face still had a rosy flush and his hair was a little dishevelled.
Erick placed his hands around him and gave him a nice, long kiss. He was gratified to feel Josh put his arms around his shoulders and open his mouth to receive him. It was some time before they released each other. And then Josh noticed another problem.
“You came on the bed like this?”
Erick looked down and realized that he was still wearing his hiking outfit, which was covered in sweat and dirt. Oops.
“Calm down. I was worried when you didn’t answer me so I forgot.” He quickly took off his shirt, revealing a toned body. Josh looked at him stripping before turning away, his ears a faint pink.
Too late, Erick noticed the blush. He grinned wickedly, moving closer to Josh, who leaned back.
“What?”
“Like what you see?”
Josh did not reply but the blush that was creeping up his neck and staining his cheeks was answer enough.
“Since I got the sheets dirty, I’ll take responsibility and change them after this. But…”
“But what?”
“Since we’ll be changing the sheets anyway, why don’t we get it really dirty?”
“No, you're all sweaty.”
“If I shower now, I’ll still need to shower later.”
Erick decided not to let Josh make any more excuses and pounced. The both of them ended up flat on the bed and before Josh could say anything else, his lips were sealed. There was some muffled protest before it changed into pants and moans. They definitely needed to do some laundry tonight.
* * * * *
“So what happened?”
“I don’t know. I followed the recipe exactly. I wasn’t going to waste food on purpose.”
They were in the kitchen, looking at Joshua’s failed attempt at pumpkin pie. The soft, steamed cake in his imagination failed to live up to reality as he couldn’t even take it out of the tray. Without the walls of the tray to keep its shape, it would look like a dying slime from some RPG game.
Erick tentatively took a spoonful of the mixture to taste.
“It tastes alright. It just won’t harden.”
Josh was looking at the pie a little sullenly while he massaged his back. Even after a half day hike his husband was still so energetic. Josh made a decision to put in some exercise from now on. If he wasn’t careful, he might just dislocate his hip one of these days.
“Show me the recipe.”
Josh opened his phone and showed Erick the recipe he had followed earlier. Leaning against the kitchen island, he also took a spoon and started to feed himself the goop that was the failed pumpkin pie. If he was honest with himself, the taste really wasn’t bad. It was pretty close to the ones his mother used to make.
“I think I’ve found the problem.”
Erick broke Josh out of his reverie. He looked at Erick, the spoon still in his mouth.
“You used the wrong flour.”
“What? But I got rice flour, just like the recipe wanted.”
Josh dropped the spoon on the counter and walked over to Erick, trying to read the recipe again.
“Honey, you used blended rice flour. It’s mixed with cornflour, that’s why it won’t harden.”
Josh looked at the packaging and realized too late that he really didn’t pay attention to the fine print. Blended rice flour was similar to glutinous rice flour and was used to make dishes that were sticky or chewy. It wasn’t able to keep its shape at all. He had seen rice flour on the package and didn’t bother to read the rest of the label, which clearly said ‘blended rice flour’. Well, even if he had read it properly, he would have assumed that it was the same and would not have bothered to check. So it was still his fault.
He sighed dejectedly, staring at the wasted food and messy kitchen. It looks like he and cooking were going to be mortal enemies.
Erick seemed to read his mind and comforted him with a kiss on the forehead.
“Don’t worry too much about it. Let’s clean up the kitchen then go get the correct flour and try again, ok?”
Josh gave a small nod. Aside from the flour, they still had some leftovers to make another attempt.
“I’m here. We’ll learn together. Don’t fret so much.”
And that was what Josh was happiest about. Life might not be smooth sailing but with Erick by his side, mistakes didn’t seem too major and disappointments nothing but little hiccups. As long as this man was willing to stay by his side and take the good and bad with him, Life was never going to be too bad. They just had to take it one day at a time.
END
IT DIDN'T GET HARD BWAHAHAHA