Chapter 58: Mirrors
1.3k 40 45
X
Reading Options
Font Size
A- 15px A+
Width
Reset
X
Table of Contents
Loading... please wait.

Once Lilith was back from the meeting, she sat down on her bed. Alright, Carmen, time’s up. What’s going on?

Lie down first.

Carmen, you’re freaking me out. Seriously, what’s up?

Just do it.

Lilith sighed, but did as requested. The moment she was laid down, she found herself…transported. Mentally, anyway. She was in a black featureless void, empty save for Carmen typing away at a computer.

“Um, what?” Lilith asked, bewildered. “Where are we?”

Carmen pressed a few keys, a progress bar popped up on the screen, and then she wheeled her chair around to face Lilith. “We’re inside our head. Go ahead, sit down, we’re going to be here a while.”

A chair popped up next to Lilith, and she reluctantly sat down. “OK, I’m here, I’m sitting, what do you want? You’re not acting like yourself.”

Carmen gave her an uneasy smile. “That’s…a hard question to answer. Let me tell you a story, and hopefully you’ll understand better, alright?”

Lilith frowned. “Is all this really necessary? We could just…share mental information. It’ll be faster that way.”

Carmen gave a smirk. “Oh, how the tables have turned. No, we can’t. And I do mean can’t, not won’t.”

Lilith shifted uneasily, a knot growing in her stomach. “What do you mean by that?”

“Look, just let me tell you the story, alright? You’ll understand better if you keep it in mind while we talk.”

“Fine, whatever, tell me your story.”

Carmen shifted her stance slightly, getting into a more comfortable position. “Once upon a time, there was a very lonely administrator. She had recently struck out on her own, and being new to her craft, had not yet established herself and was missing many of the comforts she had grown used to under her tutor. For a time, she kept herself separate from the world as much as she could, allowing it to progress at its own pace.

“But, millennia of self-imposed isolation took their toll. While she may have had occasional contact with her colleagues, she longed for daily interaction with someone, anyone. So, she decided to look to her afterlife, reasoning that it didn’t matter if she interacted with them if they couldn’t affect the world in any way.

“So, she introduced herself, and slowly began to bond with the few spirits contained in that afterlife. She grew particularly close to one of them, eventually becoming romantically involved. The spirit in question was one of the oldest in the afterlife, a fellow succubus by the name of Lilith.”

All sorts of alarm bells went off in Lilith’s head. “Wait, but…”

Carmen held up a hand, forestalling any further comment. “And for a time, she was happy. She had companionship again, the world was at peace, and everything was going well. But, as always, disaster struck. The people of the world had quickly grown to realize that there simply wasn’t enough room, not if they wanted to keep growing.

“War descended upon the land and, in a panic, the administrator turned to her closest confidant. Lilith told her that, at times like these, it was perfectly understandable to seek help from her seniors. Just because she had struck out on her own did not mean she had to try and solve everything on her own as well.

“So, she ended up getting the gift of a plane from one of those seniors, and advice from the others. In a panic, she introduced the new plane and segregated the warring factions to give them some time to cool off. She let the spark of technological innovation burn on one side, and let magic develop on the other, in hopes that when they were eventually reintroduced, they could combine into a greater whole.

“But she wasn’t sure how to properly combine those two without massive conflict once again occurring. She didn’t want to overstep her bounds and directly intervene when the time for combination came, but she also didn’t want to leave the world unattended. So, she once again turned to her lover, who gave her an idea. Raise a champion to be the arbiter for the two sides, and, while she was at it, use the combination of the sides as an excuse to fix the flaws in her system.

“She also encouraged the administrator to play a role in this as well, not as a goddess, but masquerading as a regular mortal, subtly guiding the world to the path she wanted. Lilith reminded the administrator that while it is important to allow those in her care autonomy, it is just as important to guide them towards the right path.

“So, the administrator did just that. However, she ran into a particularly rough issue when it came time to actually raise this arbiter. She wanted to make sure that the arbiter would turn out to be someone she could trust but didn’t want to force someone into a role they didn’t desire and didn’t want to groom them for their entire life either.

“Eventually, it was decided. She would reincarnate one of the souls from her afterlife, whom she knew were trustworthy. Their memory would be permanently wiped, and it would be a bit of a gamble, but it would be better than just picking a random person from the crowd. So, she asked for volunteers.”

“This is…making me uncomfortable, Carmen. I don’t like where this is heading.”

Carmen gave her another sad smile and continued. “The most insistent of the volunteers was, of course, Lilith. She begged and pleaded with the administrator to be the one for the job. After all, who could she trust more? And, what was more, it would allow them to be physical without any of the constraints they had if they wanted to do that before. Her memory would be wiped, yes, but she was confident that, given time, they would get together again. After all, it was personality that had drawn them together in the first place, and that was what was important.”

“Finally, the administrator relented. She would let her lover take the job, as terrifying a prospect as that was for the administrator. So, she began her work to reincarnate Lilith, trying her utmost to make sure as much of her personality as possible was retained.

“And it was that enthusiasm that led to one of her greatest mistakes. She tried too hard, and the soul fractured into two. The fragments wrestled with each other for a short period before seeming to reach some sort of an understanding, and the administrator could only watch in horror as they reincarnated, one of the fragments seeming to go into a deep hibernation.

“As the administrator observed the person her lover reincarnated into, she found that the ‘main’ fragment contained the parts of personality that the administrator had tried most to protect; her loyalty, kindness, and willingness to do whatever she could to make those she loved happy. But…that was all that fragment contained, really. And, for a while, it seemed that not only had she failed to make a proper arbiter, but she had lost her love in the process.

“But she wasn’t willing to give up. She would go through with the plan anyway, in hopes that she could eventually heal the fractured soul. She let the boy her lover had reincarnated into grow, and then, right as she was beginning to seriously start to put things in motion, there was a…wrinkle thrown into things.

“The boy’s sex had been changed by an outside observer, and, as she was about to be given a new name, the administrator couldn’t help but interfere, planting that lover’s old name into the mind of the one who was suggesting a new one. It would be the least she could do to begin to right the wrongs she had made.

“And, as if to say that she had made the right choice, she almost immediately received a ray of hope. The other fragment, long dormant, had surfaced in the ‘main’ fragment’s time of need. This fragment contained the decisiveness and mischievous that the administrator loved, but little to none of what normally held a person back from acting on impulse.

“And, now that both fragments had been awoken, she noticed a strange phenomenon. Almost imperceptibly over time, the fragments were beginning to take aspects of their counterpart, and the soul was starting to heal.”

Carmen leaned back in her chair, letting out a sigh. “As you have no doubt figured, this is a story about us. I don’t know if you ever consciously noticed, but I’m…different from all the other Parallels. I popped up by myself at the first possible opportunity. And, given my personality and some checking with Kali, Solomon was able to figure everything out. She told me this story in bits and pieces, then helped me prep for what was to come.”

A look of comprehension flashed across Lilith’s face, followed by horror. “No, you can’t! We’re…different! Just because we were originally one person doesn’t mean that we have to be again!”

Carmen shook her head. “I’m afraid it does. It was going to happen anyway, so I let Titania stab me. That way I could prepare and get this done on terms that would be the most favorable for us. We’re going to be out for quite a while, and so it was best if it happened in a controlled environment. Otherwise it would be a ticking time bomb, threatening to go off whenever.”

She sighed. “But, even beyond that, this is for the best. Lilith, we’re both caricatures, idealized traits of a person without the context that made those traits good in the first place. We’re both incomplete.”

Lilith stood up and walked over to Carmen, grabbing her. “It’s not too late to stop this. We can work something out. I mean…you’ll just sort of…disappear after this! You can’t be content with that!”

Carmen smirked. “That’s just like you. Did you even think about what this potentially means for you? Look, I’m not going to disappear, and you won’t either. If you split a lump of clay into two pieces and then recombine them, do those split lumps disappear? No. They’re just back to being whole.”

“That’s clay! We’re talking about people!” Lilith wailed. “Seriously, just cut it out, and we can pretend this never happened!”

Carmen shook her head. “No can do. I’ve spent this last week getting the process ready, and now that it’s started there’s no going back. Take a look.” She pushed her chair away from the desk, giving Lilith an unobstructed view of the computer.

Massive soul restructuring in progress! For safety, you will lose consciousness until the process finishes!

Consciousness loss has been delayed by 10 minutes! Time remaining before total loss of consciousness: 05:52

Lilith slumped. “How…how long will we be out?”

Carmen drummed her fingers on the desk. “We’re not completely sure. Solomon and Kali ran the numbers, and they’re estimating three years.”

“Three years! What will everyone else say?! We can’t just disappear for three years, it’ll undermine everything we’re working for!” Lilith asked pleadingly.

“Mae can pretend to be you. The “High Arbiter” persona is already enough of an act that she’ll have no troubles keeping it up in public. It’s not like we have to appear that often anyway.”

“But what about our friends and our family? What’ll they say?”

“Kali’s explaining things to them now. Look, Lilith, this was going to happen sooner or later. There’s no way to stop it. Even if Kali worked her hardest to delay it, at some point or another this would have to happen. I’ve made sure that it will be as smooth as possible.”

Carmen scooped Lilith up in a hug. “Don’t worry. Everything will be fine. It would have been worse if I wasn’t preparing, but I’m ready for this. I know that, deep down, you are too.” She gently pulled Lilith up, seat widening so they could share it. “Our instructors left us a video for you to watch in hopes that it would help. Do you want to see it?”

Lilith nodded.

Carmen brushed away the notification about losing consciousness and began navigating through a file system. “This computer is…us, in a sense.” She said as she worked, “An interface of sorts. I could have done my work just as easily without it, but it just felt…right to do it this way. More familiar.”

She finally found the file she was looking for and opened it. A video popped up and began playing.

Raphael was standing in the wide, open plain of the training area, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. “Um, hey there. If you’re watching this, I guess that means it’s time.” He laughed nervously. “That sounds like us instructors are going to disappear. That’s not happening, don’t worry. But, uh, you…won’t be able to remember this, but you helped me out a lot right after I died. I’ve…probably told you how that happened already, but let an old man indulge in his storytelling again, will you?

“It was the height of the war, and I was part of the team working on the spell to strip the humans of their magic. Somehow, they caught wind of our location, and sent in Tiamat to clean the place up. I stayed behind to keep her distracted while everyone gathered what they could and ran. I was heartbroken when I died, knowing that I had left everyone behind, but you helped snap me out of my funk. And then, when Tiamat came, you helped me get over my bad blood with her. You were…sort of an anchor, for a lot of us.”

He paused for a moment, then looked offscreen at someone. “Can I have a bit more time to tell her about…Alright, thanks.”

He looked back at the “camera”. “I…figured you would want to know about who you used to be. I’m going to keep it brief, because I have to let everyone else have their time too, but here’s the basics. You were not, as Earth’s legends like to paint you to be, some sort of temptress or sex-crazed woman. You weren’t a prude either, but you had the misfortune of being too alluring. Something about your heritage coming through really strongly and having picked up most of your Domain from an early age. While you were alive, uh, before, that is, a lot of people fell for you without you even really aiming for that, and you ended up getting a reputation that you couldn’t shake. Then, Elenoa’s little repaint of history happened and, well, you probably know how that turned out.”

He looked offscreen again, listening to some inaudible voice. “Well, I guess that’s all the time I have. I’ll see you when you wake up, alright?”

The view switched to Tiamat standing in that same field. “Hey. Looks like you were that Lilith all along, eh?” She cracked an uneasy smile. “Well, to be honest, I’m not as much of a sap as some of the others, but I want you to know that I thought you were pretty cool. I…missed having you around. Sometime, after you wake up, the two of us should take some time to just…hang out, outside of training. Anyway, I’ll make sure to give Mae or Nuwa the lessons you would normally get so you won’t be too far behind. Take care.”

There was another viewpoint switch, this time to Oberon, who was looking even more nervous than usual. “U-um, h-hi. I, uh, w-want you to know that, um, you helped me learn to t-trust again, after w-what happened with Titania. I…k-know you can’t remember it, b-but, um…t-thanks.”

Artemis was next. “I didn’t interact with you much, but you went on the occasional hunt with me. I’m glad I’m able to teach you more now.”

After those terse words, there was a sudden tone switch as Lancelot began to talk the moment he and Arthur were on screen. “Guess the cat’s out of the bag, eh?” He said jovially, “Well, I’ll have you know that you were a real joy to have around. Really livened the place up, and you were a great sparring partner.”

He nudged Arthur, who started talking. “And look at it this way. You may never be able to get those memories back, but we can just make new ones, alright? Now that you’re a Higher Being, I’m sure that you will be able to visit the afterlife once Kali shows you how. Everyone would love to see you again. And even before then, you can always come talk with us teachers just to chat. We’re more than happy to do it. Well, maybe not Artemis, but that’s just because she’s not much of a talker. I don’t think she’d say no to target practice or something, though.”

And, finally, Solomon was up. “I suppose I’m not really sappy either.” She said, looking to the side. “But you always listened when I’d talk to you about theory, and that’s more than I can say for a lot of people. I figured that it’d be the least I could do to help get you back in one piece. We’ll make sure everything’s taken care of, so sleep tight, OK?”

The recording shut off, and the message Carmen had dismissed reappeared, indicating that they had 21 seconds left. Lilith opened her mouth to say something, but Carmen shushed her.

“It’s not goodbye, and I won’t be any more gone than you. We’ll just be together.” She grabbed Lilith’s hand and squeezed. “Thanks for putting up with me.”

Lilith moved to speak again, and Carmen pulled her into a tight hug, cutting off the words. And, like that, they let the countdown reach 0, and everything faded to black.

END OF ARC 4: NEW BEGINNINGS

Before I get into my prepared speech, chapters will be posted quite a bit earlier on Sundays for the next bit (1-2PM MDT). There are some circumstances going on right now, check my Discord for the full details.

Anyway, my "real" author's note:

"Well said.

I will make those words your last, Parallel!"

References aside (And I won't say to where, because even saying the name of where it's from is potentially an enormous spoiler. If you don't care just search "Well said I will make those words your last" and you'll find it. It's from a game and I could gush about the scene because it's superbly done, but I won't), let's bring it back and match the tone of the chapter.

Well, here we are. The big one. I'll be honest, I'm really nervous about getting this one out there. I feel like it's going to be hit or miss, but let me explain my reasoning behind the choices I've made in this chapter.

I grappled with myself on whether or not I wanted to do something so...cliche(?) as having the main character be someone famous reincarnated. Eventually, I decided that it was 100% what would happen in-universe, and because of that I shouldn't shy away from it.

I also hope this doesn't come as too much of a surprise. I've dropped a few hints in the past chapters, most notably in the meeting where everyone is discussing the Elenoa situation and Kali mentions the afterlife, as well as in the chapter where we introduce Lilith's mentors. There are a few scattered here and there in those chapters, and maybe one in another that I'm not remembering right now, but I think it's mainly just those two.

And, honestly, this whole thing just made so much more sense to me. It allowed me a way to further integrate my initially bad characterization with the story in a more natural way, explain more of why Lilith was chosen as High Arbiter and why Kali was attracted to her.

Of course, Lilith would never accept any of this. Even if it was to happen anyway, if she knew she would drag it out as long as possible. Carmen never had that sort of inclination, so they gave her the information and let her do the work.

Yes, I have effectively written Carmen out of the story, and in a real sense Lilith (as she currently is) is being written out. I...don't really want to view it that way, and for the most part don't, but I do have to acknowledge that, they are, technically, out of the story. I did this because I think that it makes the story make more sense, as well as provides interesting dynamics for me to play with. It wasn't because I didn't like the characters, I quite liked them, but because I felt this made for better writing.

Also, I realized that people might remember that Tiamat (Lilith's grandma, not the trainer) mentioned Lilith not being that Lilith, as if it was a possibility and she wasn't dead, but that's because...well, no one really knows what happened to her and you can't exactly assume historical figures are dead just because it's been a few thousand years.

Oh, and you might be wondering why arc 4 just ended when I never officially ended arc 3. That was a mistake and I have since corrected it (at the time of this going up on Patreon, so like 5 weeks ago).

Anyway, that's...all, I guess. 

So, um, next time we'll be getting stuff from the three years between the current time and Lilith waking up. There'll be one or two chapters of that, depending on how much I feel should be shown and how many words those events will end up being (it ended up being two chapters, by the way), and then after those we're skipping forward to when Lilith wakes.

And, as always...thanks for reading.

45