Herman Kane rushed into the throne room wheezing and out of breath, “Your majesty! As you predicted, the day of our final victory has come! Our moles inside the topside government have informed us that the long dreaded human raiding party has finally assembled.”

Karen lifts her head off her pillow made from a sack of money and asks, “Y’all sure? We’ve been ready and wait’n on ‘em for like 2 months now. Them topsiders sure do like to take their time. So what are we up against?”

“Our little birds and bugs tell us their raiding party consists of about a dozen adventurers, twice as many vegans, and the entire pally PD. Are you sure we are ready for them? The pally popo have guns!” exclaimed Kane feverishly.

“Little birds? That there the new Tweeter app y’all been talking about? We already got that spyware called FleaToc tracking everybody right?”

“Yes my lady, with the help of the dungeon core shell corps and our rat civilization’s advancement into the information age, Tweeter and TicsToc were both successfully deployed. The humans have foolishly given us full access to all of their information in exchange for blue checkmarks.

Better yet, through their devices, we now have a direct way to brainwash them with funny stories and memes. Our new class of tech rats and their pet code monkeys, led by Elon Muskrat, has done more damage to human civilization than we could have possibly imagined. The internet is now a free for all hellscape of hate speech, furry porn, and crypto scams.”

An impatient murder midget moves out from behind Kane and clears his throat. “Ah yes, Ambasador Quarter-Foot, who is definitely not a hobbit, from our neighboring dungeon has inquired if you have succeeded in sabotaging the voting machines on the surface? They had provided a sub-core for you to plug into the enemy vote counting machines.”

Karen- “Say what? I didn't get no subcore!”

Kane- “It looked like a USB thumb drive that was disguised as a ginger mint candy.”

Karen- “Oh that, well I ate it. It’s all your fault, why’d y’all go and disguise it so well? Y’all didn't label it property. Made it all candy looking like all them tide pods.

But don’t none of y’all gotta worry bout a thing. Y’all weren't thinking big enough. Let me ask you this, why bother stealing an election when you can just suspend the whole constitution? Democrazy is overrated, even Churchill said that Democracy is the worst form of government. As Larry David, one of the founding fathers of America once said, shit don’t work when you let the stupid people vote.

Kane- “Did Larry David really say that?”

Karen- “Of course, I saw it with my own two eyes, they were doing the first continental congress on youtube.

What Australia really needs is a strong Queen to step in and repeat the 1975 Constitutional Crisis so that we can do a Dismissal 2.0. This Constitutional Monarchy malarky just ain’t working, what Australia needs is a Declaration of Dependence, like what Trump did to free the American people from wokeness.

I can still remember the orange chosen one’s speech: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that men are created unequal, that they are endowed with uncertain and alienable rights, I am very well endowed by the way, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of truthyness. And to secure and protect these rights, we gotta stop and lock up all those self-destructive liberals for everybody’s safety and happiness. And let me tell you about those liberals, they bring drugs, they bring crime, they’re atheists. And some, I assume, are good people…”

Karen, made emotional by her own speech, dramatically wipes her eyes and blows her nose into her money pillow. “Hell, I'm tired of play’n by their rules. We gona flip the table and make up our own rules. Y’all just sit back and relax, everything is going to go according to my plan. Kane, spread the word. Tell everyone to get ready.”