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*****
While walking towards the town in the distance, the girl used this chance to check her hair that she had yet to check because of an animal that jumped on her earlier.
She touched the blond wig that was tied into a ponytail with a black ribbon that she used as cosplay and tried to pull it. The girl met with resistance and pain when she pulled what was supposed to be a wig on top of her head. She winced in pain before looking at both of her palms and clenching them.
She had realized something by confirming that her wig turned into her real hair. She was transported, in Arturia Lily’s body. She was able to make such a move earlier because of the body’s muscle memory.
The girl looked ahead and realized that the wall had come close without her knowing. She had walked the road until she reached the town without her realizing it.
She accepted it rather easily, getting transported into a body of a future King of Knights. But, she was still confused. Why did she get transported to this world? What is this world? With such an animal roaming around, is this world a safe place to live?
She has so many questions that she needs to solve as soon as possible. But she was in no hurry. She was strong, she knew it from her instinct alone. She doesn’t understand anything, yet she understood everything.
The girl, for some reason knew about the extent of her ability as if someone entering information directly into her mind. She was calm, and that was unexpected for her.
She was just a cosplayer that love the character design of Saber – Arturia Lily - and decided to cosplay as her in an event because she was invited by her friend.
She never expected to get transported to another world nor did she expect to be calm like this.
She approached the gate that was guarded by 2 guards that were wearing gray metal armor and holding a spear and talked to them.
“Excuse me, could I ask where I am? I was lost and separated from my friend in a way to go to the capital city, so I am in a bind right now.” She said to the guard that has a surprised expression.
***
The guards never expected a girl, wearing chest armor to talk to them. From the clothes alone, the guards guessed that the girl was a noble or maybe a knight from a different kingdom that has come to this kingdom as the company of one of the important people.
The guards saluted towards the girl and the guard on the left answered her.
“This is the capital city of Lucignia, Miss?”
The girl realized her mistake and her eyes bulged a little. She paused for a while before answering.
“Arturia Lily, you may call me Arturia if you like.”
The guard nodded at the girl – Arturia Lily – and said. “Unfortunately I’m just a lowly guard, I can’t call you that Miss. Please allow me to call you Miss Lily if you don’t mind.”
The girl gave the guard a small nod without a second thought and said. “Very well, I’ll allow it.”
From her tone alone, the guards knew that this girl has a high standing from wherever she was. So they treated her with the utmost respect.
“To answer your question, Miss Lily, this city is the Capital City of Lugnica, you have arrived at the right place.”
Arturia sighed in relief before looking at the guard. “Then I am glad that I have arrived at the right place. If possible, could I enter the Capital City? Or do I need some kind of identification to enter the city?”
The guards quickly sidestepped to make way for her and made a gesture with their hands.
“No problem, please enter the city. This kingdom is in a state of finding a royal candidate, that’s why we, the guards, were instructed to let anyone in as long as they are not suspicious.” Explained the guard.
Arturia nodded her head with gratitude to the guard and said. “Well then, have a good day.”
“Have a good day.”
The girl walked into the city, with a confident step that is often found in an experienced knight. The guards were looking at Arturia’s back before returning to their post with a smile on their face.
***
After Arturia entered the town, she walked towards an alleyway and sighed in relief.
‘Thank goodness that I was able to enter the city with no problem. Not only that, this is a capital city so this city must be a safe area.’
Arturia looked up at the sky and remembered the guard’s word earlier.
‘This kingdom is searching for a royal candidate? I never heard a kingdom that tried to find a royal candidate, at least from what I know from the history book.’
Arturia decided to not think about it and went out of the alleyway. She walked around to look at the situation of the city she was in.
While looking around the town, she thought to herself. ‘I call myself Arturia Lily, but it is fine right? Right now I’m Arturia after all. The name just feels right and it came out of my mouth naturally.’
When she was walking around, she felt a lot of gazes were directed at her. She was wondering why did she receive a lot of gaze before realizing the clothes that she was in. She was wearing Arturia Lily's set of clothes, a white battle dress, and a sword strapped on her waist.
‘So that’s why the guards were polite to me. I technically was wearing a knight’s clothes.’ Thought Arturia as she realized it.
She had forgotten or rather didn’t mind it and just thought that she was wearing a normal dress all this time.
When she was walking around, she saw a girl with blonde hair and a red scarf running from her left at a fast speed. The girl was looking back, as if she was chased by someone.
For some reason, Arturia’s instinct kicked in again and she pursued the girl without having a second thought. The girl that she chased realized her presence and increase her speed. To match the girl, Arturia also increased her speed and ran faster than before.
She was surprised that she could run that fast but she saw the girl that she chased was entering a certain alleyway. She entered the alleyway too and heard a shout.
“Move away!” A sound of the girl that she guessed was the girl that she chased was heard before a thud sounded.
Arturia arrived at the scene and saw a young man with black hair and sharp eyes hugging his body on the ground while 3 men were kicking him. Arturia changed her priority from chasing after the girl to saving the young man.
Arturia stood on top of the stairs with a serious look and shouted. “Cease your action! Release that young man!”
The 3 men turned to look at her and were surprised when they saw her.
“Shit, it’s the knight!” One of them was shouting and then running away from Arturia.
“Run!” Shouted the second man before he followed the first man with the third man.
Arturia walked towards the young man and extended her hand. “Are you okay?”
When she saw the young man closely, she saw him wearing a white and black tracksuit that was clearly not from around here. But, because she didn’t know the situation of this world clearly, Arturia just shrugged it off as normal.
The young man took Arturia’s hand and looked at her. “Thank you very much! I don’t know what to do without your help.”
Arturia smiled at him before saying. “No pro-“ But as she was about to finish her sentence, a shout was heard from behind her.
“Stop there! You thief!!”
Arturia looked back and saw a girl with silver platinum hair wearing a white dress standing on Arturia’s location earlier while pointing her index finger towards her.
good.
So in this scenario, she replaced the sword saint due
Thank you for this chapter!
Hmm... does this mean Lily is from the same earth as Subaru?
There are some grammar errors in this chapter
if you would be so kind to point it out then I will edit it
@ShuviLily
All the paragraphs below have some form of Grammar error. I'll put [ ] around the errors. Also, maybe give your finished chapters and thrice over?
[Arturia] arrived at the scene and saw a young man with black hair and sharp [eyes were hugging his body] on the ground while 3 men were kicking him. [Arturia] changed her priority from chasing after the girl to saving the young man.
The 3 men [were] turned to look at her and [surprised] when they saw her.
For some reason, [Arturia's] instinct kicked in again and she [pursue] the girl without having a second thought. The girl that she chased realized her presence and increase her speed. To match the girl, [Arturia] also increased her speed and [run] faster than before.
"No problem, please enter the city. This kingdom [was] in a state of finding a royal candidate, that's why we, the guards, were instructed to let anyone in as long as they are not suspicious." Explained the guard.
"Excuse me, could I ask [where am I right now]? I was lost and separated from my friend [in a way to go] to the capital city, so I am in a bind right now." She said to the guard that has a surprised expression.
The girl, for some reason [she] knew about the extent of her ability as if [someone entering information directly into her mind]. She was calm, and that was unexpected for her.
She touched the blond wig that was tied into a ponytail with a black ribbon that she used as cosplay and tried to pull it. The girl [has] met with resistance and pain when she pulled what was supposed to be a wig on top of her head. She winced in pain before looking at both of her palms and clenching them.
The girl looked [ahead the road] and realized that the wall has come close without her knowing. She had [walked the] road until she reached the town without her realizing it.
She accepted it rather easily, getting transported into a body of a future King of [Knight]. But, she was still confused. Why did she get transported to this world? What is this world? With such an animal roaming around, is this world a safe place to live?
@Deaththekid1999 I mean, if you just put it like that then I don't know how to fix it? I am not a native speaker, so a grammatical error would be the challenge for me.
Even if you pointed at the wrong spot, without anyone telling me how to fix it then I don't know the correct one. Please don't overestimate me :) I'm not a magician who can tell the correct thing by looking at the wrong one
@ShuviLily Lemme have a crack at this. As a native English speaker, I don't know what's wrong with the [Arturia] errors so I'll just ignore those.
"and saw a young man with black hair and sharp [eyes were hugging his body] on the ground while 3 men were kicking him" could be changed to 'and saw a young man with black hair and sharp eyes hugging his body on the ground while 3 men were kicking him' This phrasing is a bit confusing. If somebody looked at this and didn't apply logic, they could think the man's eyes were holding him. This would be quite surreal.
"The 3 men [were] turned to look at her and [surprised] when they saw her," could be changed to 'The 3 men turned to look at her and were surprised when they saw her,' though I would find, 'The 3 men turned around and were surprised to see her.' to be a little smoother. Either way, adding the 'were' implies they were forced to turn, which wouldn't make sense in this situation. The portion of the sentence that emphasizes their surprise isn't in past tense.
"and she [pursue] the girl without having a second thought," would be changed to, 'and she pursued the girl without having a second thought.' The sentence is past tense, and thus the verb must also be past tense
"To match the girl, [Arturia] also increased her speed and [run] faster than before," could be changed to, 'To match the girl, Arturia also increased her speed and ran faster than before.' As I stated previously, I don't know what's wrong with 'Arturia.' However, 'run' is incorrect due to the sentence being past tense.
"This kingdom [was] in a state of finding a royal candidate, that's why we, the guards, were instructed to let anyone in as long as they are not suspicious," could be changed to 'This kingdom is in a state of finding a royal candidate, that's why we, the guards, were instructed to let anyone in as long as they are not suspicious.' This is because 'was' serves as a past tense verb. As such, 'is' would serve dialogue better.
"Excuse me, could I ask [where am I right now]?" could be changed to 'Excuse me, could I ask where I am?' The I was misplaced.
"The girl, for some reason [she] knew about the extent of her ability as if [someone entering information directly into her mind]. She was calm, and that was unexpected for her," could be changed to 'The girl, for some reason knew about the extent of her ability as if someone was entering information directly into her mind. She was calm, and that was unexpected for her.' You could also change, "She was calm, and that was unexpected for her," to "She was unexpectedly calm." The beginning part serves to add a subject despite 'she' already serving as a subject. The second correction isn't past tense despite the beginning part of the sentence being past tense.
"The girl [has] met with resistance and pain when she pulled what was supposed to be a wig on top of her head," could be changed to 'The girl met with resistance and pain when she pulled what was supposed to be a wig on top of her head.' The 'has' is unnecessary, as 'met' is already a verb. Generally, it's best to only keep one verb in a sentence with a single action.
"The girl looked [ahead the road] and realized that the wall has come close without her knowing," is a bit of a toughie. My first idea was to just scrap the road part and make it, 'The girl looked ahead and realized that the wall had come close without her knowing.' but that loses a part of the description. I did come up with this, though: 'The girl looked across the road and realized that the wall had come close without her knowing.' I also changed the 'has' into 'had,' as this makes the whole sentence past tense. Generally, it's better to keep the whole sentence as the same tense (with exclusions such as character dialogue, like the soldiers' dialogue that I corrected earlier).
"She accepted it rather easily, getting transported into a body of a future King of [Knight]," implies she is a future king of a single knight, which makes little sense. The best thing to do is to simply make it plural: 'She accepted it rather easily, getting transported into a body of a future King of Knights.'
This is my first time doing this type of post but I hope it helped a little! Most mistakes were minor tense and plurality mix-ups, which is very impressive for a non-native speaker. As somebody trying to learn a new language, props to you!
@LABmaiL you left out a sentence and, "Across the road" can't be used since it implies that the wall was to the left or right of the road she was walking on. It would be better to say. "She walked down the road" since the road leads to the wall.
@LABmaiL Thanks, but for this
This kingdom [was] in a state of finding a royal candidate, that's why we, the guards, were instructed to let anyone in as long as they are not suspicious," could be changed to 'This kingdom is in a state of finding a royal candidate, that's why we, the guards, were instructed to let anyone in as long as they are not suspicious.' This is because 'was' serves as a past tense verb. As such, 'is' would serve dialogue better.
It's correct if I used was, because most of the candidates were found
@ShuviLily but it's not tho since candidates are still coming so, [Was] would still be wrong. Also, the guards implied it was still going on, so It's still present-tense, [Was] is only Past-tense. So it wouldn't work.