27. Food For Thought
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=::= Maria's PoV =::=

"Hello Professor Powell," I greeted the younger woman as I stepped into her office. "Thank you for making time to meet with me today."

She smiled, "The pleasure is all mine Ms. Watson. I've heard a great many good things about QSAW, your organization does a lot of very good and important work."

"Please have a seat," she added as she gestured to her guest chair. "And please, call me Sue."

I slipped off my coat and hung it on the coat tree just inside the door, then as I settled into the cheap plastic chair I responded "Thank you Sue. And you can call me Maria."

She seemed to be studying me as I got comfortable, and I couldn't help doing the same. Sue Powell looked to be in her mid- to late-twenties, she was an attractive young woman of average height and with a slim build. She wore her shoulder-length brown hair in a casual style, and her hazel eyes were bright and sharp with curiosity as she looked me over. Her outfit was very casual, a loose hoodie hung open over a simple blouse, and below that she was wearing a pair of faded blue jeans and sneakers.

Her office was small and a bit cramped, with an overflowing bookcase against one wall while the top of her desk was lost beneath files, papers, and even more books, along with a phone and a tablet. Her laptop was set to one side, precariously balanced on top of another stack of file folders.

Sue finally spoke up again, "I'm curious what the head of QSAW wants to speak with me about? Your email was a little vague in that regard."

"I was actually contacted by the parents of one of your students," I replied. "Paula and Andrew Lambert have some concerns regarding an assignment you gave to their eldest child. I understand that assignment encouraged your students to make use of magic?"

The young prof smiled as she relaxed back into her squeaky chair, "Ah. Now I understand why you're here. Tell me Maria, have you spoken with Lina yourself?"

I shook my head, "Not yet. The Lamberts didn't contact me until after the winter break was over and their child returned to college. I'm very familiar with their youngest daughter though, and I've met with Mr. and Mrs. Lambert a few times over the past year."

"Tell me Maria," Sue asked in a very self-assured voice, "Why are you going out of your way to avoid using Lina's current name? Why are you avoiding her new pronouns, or other gendered terms like 'daughter'?"

The question didn't exactly catch me off-guard, but I wasn't expecting Sue to be so forward about it. Or for it to come up so quickly.

I replied calmly, "My understanding, based on what I've been told by the rest of the Lambert family, based on what they were told over the holidays, is that their oldest child is a cis boy. That they are spending a month in a feminine body solely to earn extra credit in order to pass your class. And as I haven't spoken with them myself yet, I'm reluctant to make assumptions either way."

"Hmm," Sue made a thoughtful sound, while she continued to look and act quite confident and sure of herself. "It seems that there's been some misunderstandings along the way, so allow me to clarify a few things for you."

"First," she began, "While I won't violate the privacy of any of my students by sharing their grades with a stranger, I can assure you that Lina has never been in any danger of failing my class. Second, I did not give my students an assignment that required or urged their use of life-changing magic."

"I will admit that I've encouraged a few individual students to experiment," she continued. "And yes, Lina is one such student. But I would never make that any sort of requirement, nor would I tie that to a student's grades."

I frowned slightly as I watched her, "It wasn't an assignment? You weren't offering your students 'extra credit' for using the spell? According to the Lamberts, you've made that spell a significant part of your curriculum."

The young prof smiled, "No Maria, it wasn't an assignment. And yes, I have made both of Cindy's spells a significant part of my curriculum. Apart from the world-shaking revelation that magic is real, those two spells together are absolutely changing the world, just like the mythical Cindy wanted. They're profoundly liberating. Not just in terms of gender, sex, and sexuality, but look at all the other ways the world has changed in the past couple years?"

"The entire medical industry has all but imploded," she continued with an enthusiastic smile. It was clear she was passionate about the topic as she went on, "Birth control, chronic care, geriatrics, oncology, palliative care, prosthetics, pharmaceuticals, and that's just off the top of my head. And that's just a single example. The fashion industry is starting to go through a similar upheaval. Even furniture manufacturers are beginning to adapt! I saw a sofa at Ikea last month that was designed specifically to be comfortable for people with tails! How amazing is that?"

I agreed, "I know the world is changing, but we're getting a little off topic. When you say you've encouraged some students to experiment, do you mean you've specifically suggested they use the spell? According to both Paula and Tally Lambert, Lina was given the options of spending a month as the opposite sex, or a month as a demi-human."

Sue grimaced, "If that's how Lina phrased it then I'm not surprised you're here to check up on me. Honestly I'd have the dean all over me if I was giving my students those sorts of ultimatums."

"So can you set the record straight?" I asked. "What exactly did you tell her?"

She leaned back in her chair again as she regarded me for a second or two. Then she asked, "You're a psychologist are you not?"

I nodded again, "That's correct. I ran my own practice for a number of years, before closing it down so I could focus full-time on QSAW."

"I'm not a psychologist myself," Sue replied as she remained in her relaxed pose across from me. "But when you've been teaching for as long as I have you get a feel for people. You get a feel for your students. I can usually tell which ones need help, which ones really want to learn, and which ones are just in my class for an 'easy' humanities credit while their real focus lies elsewhere."

She continued, "And as I work with my students I get a better feel for who they are as people. One thing I've noticed is I can usually tell which ones are struggling to find themselves. College is a big step for a lot of young people, as I'm sure you know. Especially the ones who've left home. It's often their first time living away from their family, their parents. Potentially their first time living with other people, who come from different backgrounds and have had different upbringings."

"Obviously it's different now than it was a few decades ago," she added. "Now everyone has the internet, it's just as easy - if not easier - to be friends with someone on the other side of the globe as it is with someone around the block."

She seemed to realize she'd strayed off-topic so she brought it back, "Anyways my point is, for some young people college is their first chance to really discover who they truly are. As opposed to who their parents or family wanted or expected them to be. And that's the impression I got from Lina."

I tried to keep my tone level as I asked, "So you suggested she experiment with potentially life-changing magic, in order to try and find herself?"

"Sure," Sue nodded. "It's safe, it's effective, and it's free. New wardrobes notwithstanding."

She continued, "We're only five months away from the three-year anniversary of that spell being released to the public. In two and a half years how many people have used it worldwide? Tens of millions? Hundreds of millions? I know it was designed specifically to allow trans people to get affirming bodies, but it's done so much more, for so many more."

I sighed and shook my head, "Almost every full moon we have one or two people turn up at QSAW desperate for help, because they've used that spell on a whim or a bet, or for some other spurious reason. People who weren't prepared for the reality of having their body changed in such a profound way. People who find themselves dealing with dysphoria or depression, or who are suddenly cut off from their families or friends because they were unprepared for the negative reactions of those around them."

"I know Maria," Sue responded. "Lina's told me what happened with her younger sister. In fact she told me you personally took Tally in, that the girl's been living with you ever since. That's very commendable, but I don't believe that's relevant to Lina's situation."

I started to protest but the young prof talked over me, "I told you I get a feel for some of my students. Lina's worked very closely with me over the past three months, and I believe I've come to know her rather well. I wouldn't have suggested she experiment with the spell unless I already knew she could cope with the results. And unlike Tally, Lina is an adult. She's over eighteen, she's already living independently away from her childhood home. She's old enough to make her own decisions."

"And from what I've seen so far," Sue added, "I think Lina is handling the situation just fine. From what she's told me of her family I'm not surprised her parents are worried. Or at the very least I'm sure they're uncomfortable with the idea that their eldest child is experimenting with her gender expression."

I frowned at her, then after a few seconds I asked "Are you trying to tell me that Lina Lambert is a trans girl? That you know her better than her own family?"

Sue shook her head, "I'm not saying any of those things. Honestly, the only person qualified to say whether she's trans is Lina herself. I will say though, I certainly don't believe you're in a position to say she's a cis boy. Especially when you've never actually spoken with her yourself."

That left me feeling frustrated, mostly because I had to agree with her. All I knew about Tally's sibling was what other people had told me. Tally, her parents, Beth, even the school principal. I knew the eldest Lambert child was a bully in high school, but I'd also seen for myself that Mrs. Lambert almost seemed to encourage that kind of behaviour back when I first met her last June. She certainly didn't do anything to discourage it anyways.

I also couldn't deny that people can change, and everything Sue said about college being a transformative stage in people's lives rang true. On the other hand I still maintained that magic wasn't something people should take lightly. My own circumstances were more than enough of a reminder of that fact, I only had to look as far as Sadie and Beth to know how serious it could be.

For that matter I'd never forget my first encounters with Cindy herself. I saw what magic did to her, I knew who and what she was long before she became known world-wide as the sorceress who changed the world.

"May I ask you a personal question Maria?" Sue's voice suddenly snapped me back to the present.

I responded, "That would depend on the question."

She smiled but asked, "You've never used the spell yourself, have you?"

"No," I shook my head. "I've never felt the need, I'm fairly comfortable with who and what I am. And frankly I don't believe that sort of magic is something people should be using frivolously. Why do you ask?"

The young woman shrugged, "I thought not. Your generation in particular seems reluctant to experiment. Younger folks are more open-minded, and honestly the younger crowd tend to be much more adventurous and tolerant of risk. Generations older than yours seem more evenly split? There's certainly a lot of close-minded folks out there, but I think when some people reach a certain age they're ready to try something new. Not to mention the fact that magic can cure things we used to think were incurable."

I watched her for a few more seconds before asking the obvious question, "I take it you've used the spell?"

"Absolutely," she replied with a grin. "On four separate occasions, over the past eighteen months."

Then she smirked, "Two years ago I was nearly forced to retire, due to a long list of health issues. My eyesight was failing, I was taking over a half dozen different prescriptions, I had mobility issues, you name it. And I was certainly at that age, I celebrated my sixty-sixth birthday shortly after Cindy's first spell was released."

She continued with a small smile, "I'm not going to tell you if I was originally a man or a woman, but I will say that since then I've been both, and neither. I wouldn't encourage some students to experiment as a way to find themselves if I hadn't already tried it myself Maria."

"And in all honesty," she added as her expression became serious again, "In my opinion I don't think people in your line of work should be counselling others regarding that spell unless they've experienced it themselves. Like I said earlier, it's safe and it's free. And I believe that experience is one of the best teachers, at least when it comes to this sort of thing."

I sighed as my frown returned. I knew it was irrational but I still had some fear about that. In all this time I remained the only person in the coven who hadn't been touched or changed by magic in one way or another. I knew that made me stand out, but I tried to cling to the idea that it meant I was a truly neutral observer in a way.

On the other hand I couldn't in all honestly discount the possibility that I was deluding myself. Especially considering the negative experiences I'd witnessed. I'd seen and lived with the fallout I caused my own family, all because of a single lapse of judgement with a transformation spell.

After a couple seconds Sue brought me out of my thoughts again as she suggested, "If you're really worried about Lina then speak with her yourself Maria. I'd also suggest that the Lamberts should probably try and spend more time talking with their children. Believe me I know that can be scary sometimes, especially when kids turn out to be different than what their parents expected or believed."

"And maybe think about trying Cindy's spell for yourself some time?" she added. "I wouldn't suggest you try anything too wild or outlandish though. I can tell you're fairly conservative, at least when it comes to the topic of magic. I understand high-school students these days are using it for cosmetic changes, like hair or eye colour? That's a good safe place to start."

I watched the young prof for another second or two before finally nodding in agreement. I couldn't help feeling like I'd been taken down a few notches, and perhaps that was for the best. I'd come looking to chastise a careless college professor for risking her students' mental health and wellbeing for the sake of some risky and poorly thought out assignment. I'd been so quick to judge her I didn't bother checking into any of the details I'd received third-hand.

"I'm sorry Professor Powell," I finally apologized as I got to my feet. "You're right, I should have reached out to Lina first, before coming here to speak with you."

She smiled as she stood up as well, "It's fine. I suppose it's entirely possible she'd have told you the same story she seems to have given her family. And honestly, I'm glad to know you're so passionate about the subject that you'd make the time and come all this way to look into the matter yourself."

"At any rate the next full moon is only ten days away," she added. "So we'll all find out soon enough what Lina thinks about her month as a young woman."

I just nodded, then the two of us shook hands and bid each other a good afternoon. I collected my coat, and as I made my way out of her office then along the hallway towards the exit I found myself thinking about her suggestion.

Maybe she was right, maybe I did need to get past my own hang-ups about being touched or changed by magic. After all, there was one thing I had going for me that Lina and the rest of the general public didn't.

I didn't have to wait for the next full moon to experiment.

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