Hello!! Sorry, no update today!
I wanted to thank you if you managed to reach this far, the last episode was the ending of the first book and arc of Reiss of the Eternal, it's basically a really long prologue, I'm sorry if it felt slow at times, I wanted to give you guys a proper introduction to these characters before things pick up a bit, this is mostly a Slice of Life story, at least for now. and it will center on every character big and small, and every life on Hillside.
There are only six more "short" chapters left, these are short stories placed on multiple points in the timeline, some are in the past, some in the future, and others are contemporary to the current events, I hope you enjoy them.
After those short stories are done we will resume the story with a weekly update schedule.
Anyway, if you got to this point I am very interested in your opinion and would love to read it, I hope you liked it, and have a good day, we resume tomorrow.
The prologue was good overall. However, I struggle to determine whose point of view you're using at times. Doesn't help that the main character has 2 names: Edwin and Ran. That his sister is also called Lan, and Sophia. Only Lucius uses one name. Sometimes, I feel like you start with a PoV and switch to another on the fly without announcing it. Maybe I'm a bad reader too. It feels confusing. As for the story itself and the characters, I quite like it. But your story has the isekai tag somewhere, and while the resemblance to Mushoku Tensei is inevitable, where's the isekai part? Why the "Nobody's diary"? What happened to the isekaied baby of the first chapter? Since Edwin was born of Gabrielle, it can't be him. I think some of these questions should have been addressed.
Hey thank you for your words, I know my way of writing is pretty confusing, I always struggle to try to figure out my voice while writing myself, like, from what point of view? From which person? Am I doing it all wrong? I just felt a lot more comfortable when I Jump all over the place, I like to decide what serves the story better in each chapter for each character, some chapters scream to me "This should be narrated in the first person" and others the polar opposite.
I knew that it would be confusing for the reader, but I always try to make it as clear as possible who's pov we are looking at through the narration I know I could put the pov at the beginning of the chapter but that's just cringe and I don't like it, I want the story to be organic, I do not want to add senseless expo-dumps that are not inside the world or that wouldnt make sense in context, If the characters should know something, they will, and they will explain it if it makes sense for them to do so, in part I know that that is confusing sometimes but I do make the effort so that anyone paying atention can figure it out, maybe you will be confused at the start, by if you pay attention you will get, I trust in everyone who gives this story a shot, guess I want to ask for some effort on the part lf the reader because I think of every word and clue, I try to leave nothing to chance, it's a gamble, and I'm not confident in my skills as a writter, but I am confident in the story, as is said it's a gamble on my part, that I can make this work and people will like it for what it is.
On account of all the questions, all of those that you mentioned have answers, they just won't be given now, I consider the whole first book a prologue and you can't really go giving away all the juicy parts in the prologue I know I was scant with details but that was because I didn't feel it was right to answer them at that point but believe me they will be answered some day. In the mean time, I hope they can become a cause for speculation and theories.
sorry for the long reply hahaha I love comments you made my day
@Sadsnake
I know I could put the pov at the beginning of the chapter but that's just cringe and I don't like it
It's a shame, I quite like it when authors do it, but oh well.
I want the story to be organic, I do not want to add senseless expo-dumps that are not inside the world or that wouldnt make sense in context
I think your story gives quite an "organic" feeling. However, know that I have no complaints about the lack of exposition though. My point was about PoVs. I'm quite satisfied about the world you built up til now.
On account of all the questions, all of those that you mentioned have answers, they just won't be given now, I consider the whole first book a prologue and you can't really go giving away all the juicy parts in the prologue
Usually, in an isekai, you know that the protagonist is isekaied, though. Here, you don't. Well, if you have a reason for it, I will wait to read it.
@MartiKerri8
It's a shame, I quite like it when authors do it, but oh well.
Yeah, I know it's useful I just really don't like it, maybe it's because I've only seen fanfics do it that way but I just have a bad impression, takes me away from the story, I also enjoy confusing people, as you can clearly tell.
I think your story gives quite an "organic" feeling. However, know that I have no complaints about the lack of exposition though. My point was about PoVs. I'm quite satisfied with the world you built up til now.
Sorry I went on a long-winded rant there, what I meant to say is that I want every aspect to be inside of the story I guess, but you are right, I'm still figuring things out I believe I get better the more I write and believe me there is a LOT more to write.
Usually, in an isekai, you know that the protagonist is isekaied, though. Here, you don't. Well, if you have a reason for it, I will wait to read it.
I know people give me sh*t about the tags, and rightly so hahaha I use them as a tool to plant expectations and questions as much explaining what the story is about, believe me though, there is more to that tag than I let on.
Also, I forgot to talk about the mushoku tensei point, and yeah, MT was one of my main inspirations for this, it's the story that gave me the push to write it, there is a lot of MT on it and I posted it on the MT subreddit, so no shame if people compare them, but I want this to be MY story and not a fanfic or derivate of MT, so yeah
@Sadsnake I have no problems about this being inspired by it. I love MT as well, and humans just work by mimetism. Doesn't mean yours is a copy or whatever. I have seen a lot lazier than your story, don't worry about such criticism from me, at least.
@MartiKerri8 thanks!