Jack turned to face the eyes, then looked back at Alicia.
“What the fuck is going on?” Jack asked.
The boy felt his surroundings twist. He could vaguely see Alicia's mouth moving as the girl rushed towards him. Jack tried to think something at Alicia but his thoughts shattered into pieces.
“Recruit, bare your soul. Reveal your colors.”
Scenes from the boy's memories took over his sight. Jack saw himself in a room full of drugs, standing over the bodies of associates and acquaintances he'd known for years. As the boy looked around he laughed, dropping a bloodied dagger from his hands. The vision changed and he saw a house burning in the night. Heat licked at his face while the savoury and acrid scent of charred flesh tickled his nose. His eyes glowed in the firelight, he almost wanted to whoop from the sheer excitement. The boy rubbed his hands together, distracting himself from the smell of roasted human flesh with the sweet stench of gasoline on his palms. The bonfire disappeared, and he found himself in a bedroom. He saw a man gagged and restrained on the ground before him with tears in his eyes. Jack looked down from a bed with a smirk as he fucked the man's blindfolded wife in front of him. As sensual moans and hitched breaths replaced the man's wife's cries of anger and disgust, Jack delighted in the man's shock and despair. Finally, he saw himself arguing with Lisaseron about her intentions and Alicia revealing what she saw about the planet's defenses.
The scenes vanished.
“Pledge yourself, Recruit.”
“Pledge yourself, Recruit.”
Jack smiled for a moment, soaking in the memories. He turned his head to look at the eyes.
“Why the fuck are you two talking like that?” he asked.
“You have refused the pledge. Commencing divine intervention.”
Syraviel and Lisaseron materialized behind the glowing and dark eyes.
“Tough little kids, aren't ya'?” Syraviel asked. “I like that spirit but it speaks to one of our mistakes. We've been a little too lenient with you.”
“What is the meaning-”
Lisaseron held up a hand and the two humans found themselves unable to speak despite moving their mouths.
“Our turn to talk, darling,” Lisaseron said. “You see, we have grown too accustomed to working with our own mortals and Diana. People with willingness to listen and esteem for loyalty. When you agreed to join our mission, we presupposed this attitude in both of you. This was our miscalculation.”
Alicia and Jack furiously mouthed arguments but no noise came from their mouths.
“I won't pretend what we're asking for is fair or reasonable from your perspective,” Syraviel said. “But you had a chance to refuse when The Weaver brought you and you had a chance to refuse when we asked you in Licirmon. The time for protesting has long passed.”
“I would like to say that we are not above criticism nor are we infallible.” Lisaseron said. “However, your displays of insubordination are much too frequent and vociferous. It has reached the point that we feel your attitudes may negatively impact our mission, especially if you both choose to misperform or actively sabotage us.”
“We can't allow that. Which is why we're going to take care of this before we continue any further.” Syraviel said.
“Accept the pledge and demonstrate your loyalty,” Lisaseron said.
“Or don't,” Syraviel said. “If taking orders from us is really so repulsive, you can refuse. I won't hold any grudges. In fact, I'll give you both preferential treatment. It's rare for deserters and traitors to get a clean end but I'll make it quick and painless for both of you.”
Lisaseron's gaze lingered on Syraviel before the Goddess faced the mortals again.
“Such mercy,” Lisaseron said. “Perhaps you really are The Shadow of Reassurance.”
“Maybe I'm too soft. But it's only Diana here. There's no need to make a show of it.” Syraviel said. “Ungag them, Void.”
Lisaseron nodded.
“Jack Cassidy and Alicia Maria Vasquez, speak,” Lisaseron said
Swears and curses rung out of their mouths and they were promptly silenced.
“If you wish for death, at least ask for it with dignity,” Lisaseron said. “You may respond with a yes or a no.”
Jack hesitated for a second.
“What are we pledging?” He asked.
“A pledge of loyalty to Licirmon. The same as any Recruit of the Dimensional Legion takes. It is a pledge which many citizens of Licirmon have taken with pride and honor.” Lisaseron said.
“This pledge won't make us have to kill ourselves, right? What does it entail?” Alicia asked.
“It entails you follow orders and bear true fidelity to Licirmon and the core tenets of the Dimensional Legion,” Lisaseron said. “As for directly suicidal orders or those with extreme rates of casualty, we cannot directly force you to obey them unless Licirmon is in mortal danger.”
Jack rubbed his chin.
“So you don't trust us? Fine, we're in agreeance,” Jack said. “Give us a reason to trust you. Personally, I'm feeling like there's a lot of grey area in this pledge. Let me see a full list of everything you can make us do and that you can't.”
Syraviel manifested a projection of three thick tomes in the air before her.
“The Rules and Regulations of the Dimensional Legion aren't exactly book report material, Jack,” Syraviel said. “In short, you're going to obey to every order we give you here and we're going to train you and keep you safe to the best of our ability. That's how this mission will go. Afterwards, you two will serve a standard enlistment of twenty years. When you've completed your contract, you will have fulfilled your pledge. At that point you will be free to curse and decry us as much as you wish. Or you may come to realize we aren't quite the villains you're painting us as.”
“Twenty years? That's-
“We are currently not in a position to sit around and discuss matters at leisure,” Lisaseron said. “Choose.”
Alicia crossed her arms.
“You two are pretty smart like that,” Alicia said. “Always rushing us into making rash choices . First, it's me dying in two years, then it's an incoming Unceasing Incursion and now it's because we have to run away. You guys aren't even pretending to hide it at this point.”
Jack and Alicia both gasped. They felt a shadowy tendril wind around both of their real necks.
“That's right, Alicia. We aren't,” Syraviel said. “Final chance. If you aren't going to accept the pledge, then I hope you've prepared some good last words.”
Jack looked at Alicia.
“Not exactly how I planned to go,” Jack said.
“Hopefully there isn't an afterlife,” Alicia said. “If even death can't grant me escape from you, I don't know what will.”
They stared at each other for a moment longer. Jack chuckled, shaking her head.
“You know, I've long accepted death could come at any time for me.” Jack said. “But since I've got the option to choose, I'd rather not spend my last moments with you, Alicia.”
“We just keep agreeing on things today.” Alicia said. “ Jack Cassidy, since the day I met you, you have been a stain in my life, a tenacious weed that refuses to go away. Until you get what's coming for you, I refuse to die.”
“Good for you,” Jack said. “Looks like you'll be alive and kicking for awhile. Alas, the good die young. I guess that would mean we'll grow old together. At least I'll have all the time I need to put you in your place.”
Alicia made a sour face at the boy while pursing her lips. Jack stuck his tongue out at her.
“If you two are done flirting, we'd like your answer to the pledge,” Syraviel said.
The humans looked up at the Goddesses with a hateful glare.
“I accept.” Jack said.
“I accept.” Alicia said.
Two formation circles appeared underneath their feet.
“Wonderful, now repeat after me.” Lisaseron said. “My heart for Licirmon.”
“My heart for Licirmon.”
“My heart for Licirmon.”
Motes of light drifted out of the formation circles, encircling their torsos.
“May she stand tall and I beside her,” Lisaseron said.
“May she stand tall and I beside her,”
“May she stand tall and I beside her,”
Alicia felt the elixir wall on her soul crack slightly as the formation drew out her aura. Both her and Jack's aura merged with the motes of light, drifting up towards the Goddesses.
“From this day forth, I bear the honor, faith and valor of the Dimensional Legion of Licirmon. On my soul, this I do pledge.” Lisaseron said.
As Jack and Alicia finished the pledge, the mix of their auras and the motes of light had formed into pulsing balls of energy floating above the outstretched hands of the Goddesses.
“I, Lisaseron, The Subjugator of The Void, accept your conviction.”
“I, Syraviel, The Shadow of Desolation, welcome your mettle.”
The Goddesses charged the balls with an archaic power. In her soul space, Alicia heard the earth shifting, waves crashing and tireless winds swooping. With a light push, the balls returned back to the humans, entering the chests of their soul forms with a slight burn.
“The battle welcomes you, Legionnaires.” The Goddesses said.
The surroundings faded into darkness.
**
Alicia eyes slowly drifted open. The girl sat up, rubbing her chest as the burn of the pledge died down.
“Good to have you back,” Syraviel said.
Alicia scowled, not even looking at the Goddesses. She struggled up to her feet.
A small hand touched her back, healing magic flowing into her. Alicia felt her vocal cords healing but her scowl only deepened. The girl bucked her shoulder, throwing the smaller Goddess's hand off her.
“Don't fucking touch me,” Alicia said.
Syraviel winced, putting up an already faltering smile towards the girl.
“Alicia...”
Alicia's legs buckled as she tried to walk away. She managed to delay her fall but she still felt herself overbalanced. She couldn't move her legs properly and she tripped. She heard a muttered swear from the boy. Her face landed on his chest while his strong arms wrapped around her. The girl felt her heart flutter briefly, surprised by the tight embrace and the sensation of relief coming from the boy.
“Hey there, sleeping beauty,” he said.
Jack's low voice in her ear sent pleasant shivers down her spine. In his arms, she found her long suppressed lust boiling to the surface. She looked down, not wanting him to see her current state. Jack didn't let her. He pulled back slightly, his attention drawn to what she was trying to hide. She dug her chin deeper into her chest, trying to avoid him. He cupped her chin in her hands, turning her head to face him.
The boy had a wide grin on his face. She found herself struck still, unable to extract her gaze from his bright eyes.
“W-What?” she asked.
“Hmm?” he asked. “I was just wondering why you were acting so cute.”
Alicia bit her lip, floored by his response. A flush spread over Alicia's body, heat tingling from her belly button to her blushing cheeks. In her excitement, the girl's already shaking limbs gave out. Jack's arms sagged as he arrested the girl's fall, slowly lowering them both down until he had her sitting in his lap.
“Easy girl,” he said. “I got you.”
Alicia trembled as she felt him transferring his aura to her. Her whole body felt light and tingly, especially her insufferable chest that wouldn't stop pounding. She felt amusement and cunning stirring in the boy.
“You can relax,” he said. “I'm not going to do anything... right now.”
“What- I'm not thinking of anything! Stop... flirting with me!”
“Why? Isn't this the best way forward?” Jack asked. “We both enjoy this. Why can't we get along?”
Alicia gave the boy a withering look that drew a laugh from the boy.
“Alright. Look... honestly, I'm tired of arguing with you,” Jack said. “If we're going to be together for hundreds of years at a minimum, I don't want to be fighting all the time. I'm willing to compromise, Alicia. I've got a proposal for you. Proposals, really. I've been thinking about our future together.”
“D-Don't say it like that,” Alicia murmured. “You're making your perverted ideas sound like something else.”
The boy raised an eyebrow at her.
“What makes you think it's not 'something else'? I did say proposal, after all.”
Alicia's jaw dropped.
“You can't mean... no...”
Jack smiled.
“Let's drop it, for now,” Jack said. “I can tell the others are getting antsy. They probably want to start moving soon. You want some of the curry? It was really good.”
“Hold on, Jack you cannot be-”
“Diana!” Jack said. “Be a dear and get a bowl of curry for Alicia.”
“Jack!” Alicia said. “You can't just p-propose to me like that!”
Diana had a scandalized look on her face as she walked over with a bowl of curry.
On the one hand, Jack is pretty slimy as shown here...
On the other hand, your depiction of him so far seems somewhat odd.
In his flashback you picture him enjoying the aftermath of murdering friends and acquaintances, you picture him enjoying raping a woman and enjoying torturing her partner by raping her, you picture him enjoying arson...
But contrast that to what we've seen before and his actions so far. He was blackmailed by Alicia and yet she is intact and wasn't blackmailed in turn, is that in line with the person described above? She has stalked him and tried to get dirt on him and he just talks to her, is that in line with the person above? He has exhibited both genuine empathy and sympathy (ruling out sociopathy/psychopathy), is that in line with the person described above? He has exhibited selflessness and self-sacrifice, is that in line with the person above?
It's like you have two different characters... The one you are writing and the one described by the backstory... And they don't seem to fit together.
What you had portrayed before was an inner city kid who wound up mentored by criminals and became one himself, but while he does what he has to and is willing to do what is needed, he also shows restraint, empathy, compassion, etc...
What you display here is a hopeless reprobate who wallows in the suffering of others and enjoys torture/murder/etc... But the first support for that stance in the whole story is that he grins at the remembrance of horrific acts.
Your characterization of Alicia so far was consistent... Self-centered and narcissistic, justifies her actions to herself and even revels in them... She stalked the main character to "find dirt" to blackmail him, and we know it isnt the first time she has tried to blackmail him, etc.
Compare that to her soul search... Planting evidence and glorying in the framed person getting caught, manipulation, rumors, blackmail, etc...
She is consistent and her backstory is believable.
I think that you need to make Jack's actions a lot more reflective of the personality of someone with that backstory (retroactively too, if only in edit/rewrite)... Or else you need to change his backstory. Perhaps have him a bit more of a "it had to be done", kind of attitude instead of revelling in it.
I agree, if he was already able to kill entire groups of who knows who, a brat who knows a little about swords should easily disappear, of course, it would generate quite a lot of alarm
But a person who has no mercy for long acquaintances, meets an annoying stone on the road and does not remove it, is too forced for me to believe it.
I could understand how you could draw those conclusions. But a few flashbacks are just as the word says- flashes. More backstory and context will come.
Also, keep in mind that Jack was seriously considering killing Alicia around Chapter 4 or 5ish (soul bond stopped him) and he has gleefully sexually assaulted her at least couple times. This is a Jack that is on his toes and has learned restraint. Unlike Alicia, he's grown a lot.
@Gtmaxter There will be a wider backstory for Jack and Alicia down the line. Until it comes out, all I'll say is that Alicia is cunning. I wouldn't underestimate her.
@TheAscendentQuill and what about when he broke into her apartment to retrieve her blackmail material? No repercussions?
@Blizzisme When he broke in, it wasn't to retrieve blackmail but to get dirt on her, hence his knowledge about her s*x dungeon. As for repercussions, that's what Alicia was doing in Chapter 1.
@TheAscendentQuill from chapter one:
“I don't want a hardcore masochist calling me gross.”
“I- well-”Alicia sputtered. “H-how can you sneak into a girl's room like that? That's breaking and entering!”
“You know what you did, you poisonous, blackmailing bit*h,” he said. “You're lucky I took it easy on you. Or maybe you were hoping I'd do something out of your twisted little fantasies, you f*cking degenerate.”
“It's not my fault you can't keep it in your pants,” she said. “Someone was bound to catch you sooner or later f*cking all over the school like that.”
From chapter 2:
“Even in another world, you're still a heartless thug,” she said.
“Better than being an obnoxious, blackmailing snitch.”
From chapter 3:
“You're a sick f*ck for breaking into my room.”
“And you're a twisted bit*h for blackmailing me and having a s*x dungeon clearance sale in your closet.”
Those are just a few examples but unless you are retconning it, she was blackmailing him and he broke in to retrieve the blackmail material and found her fetish closet.
@Blizzisme Yep. It never says he went in to retrieve the evidence. He went in to get back at her and ended up finding dirt on her (s*x dungeon). Unless you're talking about repercussions for something else.
Don't worry, there will be a full mini-arc for their backstory. I think the continuity and characterization will fit quite well.
You are assuming the victims aren't even worse arseholes than Jake. He could simply be doing evil onto evil (for example raping a human trafficker's wife). Context is key in this situation, and we have none right now.
@SuperBort true, but there is a difference between killing an evil person and relishing/taking pleasure in torturing him.