Hello
I am currently planning a rewrite and I would like to know what you like and don't like about the current story. This will help me know what to change and what to keep in the rewrite.
Things that will change:
Character names. This was a common complaint, in the rewrite the names will be changed to hopefully be more memorable.
Amount of characters. There will be a reduction of important characters, so it will mainly be the four goddesses and non important side characters.
Evil goddess. This part of the story will likely be removed or heavily changed.
LitRPG elements will be removed.
I plan to try and make the characters personalities more individual and interesting.
I am currently unsure whether it should remain isekai or not. Currently it being isekai doesn't really add anything to the story. If it is no longer an isekai it may lead to the removal of Ziella.
Comments (21)
If you ask if it should stay a isekai then remove this element, course it was obviously not important enough to be essencial, what it should have been.
In my opinion..
You can completely trash the LITrpg and GameLIT tags.. There are already too many of those stories.. All those numbers makes the story too rigid, and immersion is broken every time they appear.. It's also much too easy to come up with numbers instead of describing a vague notion of immense power.. Also making your story seem hurried and less thought out..
Rewriting your story, best wishes.. I liked what I read, regardless of my opinion of litrpg and gamelit, it's a great framework and your idea isn't too bad.. It's just weird to me they are all girls, but i can work with that, it's your story to tell.. But maybe toss a dice when deciding gender for some of the characters? dunno, add a trace of randomness, like real world evolutions.. Maybe let them grow into their power instead of dumping it all on them at once.. might give a little more flesh to the story if you can make it work..
Good job, I look forward to read the result <3 
-
Thank you for reading.
I will be taking the litrpg elements out I found I don't particularly like writing it.
Them being all girls... sort of just happened I will try to randomise genders a bit more however there will be less important characters in the rewrite.
I want to make it a bit more realistic in the rewrite aswell (as realistic as fantasy can be).
Hope you like the rewrite.
· 0 · 0
I'm actually not going to vote at the time of this post, my question is: would you like our favorite sea goddess to have knowledge of Earth and their...S.E.A.L training? I don't remember but I'm pretty sure she had at least some form of military training.
Personally I think having our sea goddess remember their time on earth as a subject put in the back may come in handy ( huh, I just convinced myself yea while writing lol )
-
She was in the Royal Navy before reincarnation. I might try and make her past life more relevant if I can... not sure how yet.
· 0 · 0
If being from another world wouldn't change anything then there should be no need for it to be an isekai
Why not have her be isekaied, but with only vague knowledge of who she was before?
I still need to be able to make a joke about the sailor who cant swim, so isekai it is!
I dont care if his arms and legs are broken! A sailor can swim with his tongue alone
Can we make it semi litrpg like say make it so people can see stats but have to use stat stones to use them but the goddesses can see them at will so they can see there strength and faith and also follower count
Zealand added little to the story as a background to explaining some things. If it stays isekai and gender bender I just think it needs to have some relevance to the plot. Xyrra just accepting being a goddess instead of a God felt a bit unnatural. Overall the story was interesting enough.
I can't speak for everyone but I have more fun reading flawed stories by authors clearly enjoying their writing than a well formed story by someone who seems to hate writing.
The story was never really genderbender the protagonists gender before reincarnation was never specified. The tag was there for a side story that was deleted... I might have forgotten to remove it for a while after.
I liked writing this story I just am not entirely happy with where it currently is.
@Kraken1 Yeah, I can understand that. You kinda wrote yourself into a corner with the whole apocalypse scenario. It happens to the best of authors. That said, what I read I enjoyed. So, whether you continue this version of the story or start over again I will gladly read it. This story was a pretty fun read.
@superdubes I will be rewriting it probably starting tomorrow or tonight depending on how tired I will be when I get home. I also didn't properly plan for this version which I have started doing for the rewrite.
@Kraken1 Well, I'm looking forward to it.