Chapter 13
Find My Own Completeness

Octavia leaned against the table, arms crossed and expression regretful and a bit sour. “I’m sorry the day had to go like this,” she said. “I’m sure it wasn’t what you expected.”

“What?” I looked in her direction for a moment and stopped what I was doing. What I had been doing was stuffing things back into the large doctor’s (or Witch’s, I suppose) bag. “No! No, not at all. I mean, I kinda feel like I’m the one who let you down, you know? Like… you’re the one who asked me to come into town.” Pancakes sat by the door and ignored us both, cleaning his head with his paw. 

She shook her head. “No, you’ve no need to apologise.” She put a hand on my back, seemingly unaware of the shiver that sent down my spine. “In fact,” she added, ”I’ll not let you.” She smiled a bit. She was right though. Neither of us were really at fault, but our ‘day in town together’ had turned into me being dragged left and right to solve a whole bunch of different problems. 

Apparently, people had immediately recognised me as the Witch’s Cousin, and had requested my help with all manner of ailments and illnesses. Nothing major, thank god, but it still meant that Octavia and I were never really alone, let alone had the time to do anything we wanted to do. It had been clear she’d wanted to show me things, but in the end, I’d seen mostly swollen ankles and inflamed sinuses. 

“Well,” I blushed, “I’m not having you apologise either.” I looked outside. Evening was already rapidly approaching. “Sadly, I’m afraid I’ve got to get going. I’d like to be home by nightfall.” I gave her a sheepish smile. “Sorry.”

She put a hand on my shoulder. I was acutely aware of the fact that one of her fingers grazed the skin of my neck. “You could stay the night, if you like,” she said softly. “We’ve a spare room…” I shook my head, despite myself. Much as I wanted to, I’d just turn into a wolf, and then it would all come crashing down around me. 

“I’d love to,” I said, “but I can’t. For one, Pancakes needs to get home and, uh…” I looked at the CatWolf, hoping he’d offer me a decent excuse. Sadly, he completely failed to manifest the capacity for speech. “Take his medication,” I said. “Worms. Very gross.”

“I see,” Tavi said. Her smile was a little sad. “Well… if you want to…”

“I’d love to see you tomorrow,” I said. She blinked like I’d thrown a towel at her, and then her face split into a wide grin. “I would very much like to come back. Again. To, uh, you.” My confidence started running out of steam, and fast. “I mean, I don’t have to if—”

“That’d be delightful, Maya,” she said. “Come with me a moment.” She started to step outside and I followed her. Pan loyally stepped out with us. “There’s something I’d like you to have a look at, tomorrow. It shouldn’t be any great trouble, but I still wanted to show it to you,” Octavia said. “I’d be delighted if you came ‘round.”

“I’d love to come ‘round,” I said, mimicking her speech a little bit. The accusatory smile she aimed at me was powerful and disarming. I could feel my blood rush to my cheeks. “If’n you’ll have me.”

“Miss Maya,” she said, taking a step closer, “you best not be mocking me.” 

I had no idea what was going through my head or what possessed me to bite my lip and glance at her from under half-closed eyelids, but I did. “Wouldn’t dare,” I said softly. Her eyes lingered on my mouth for a moment, before looking back up at me. Her face was close. Her eyes were all I could look at. I jolted when I felt something against my hand, and realised it was hers. The back of her fingers touching the back of mine ever so softly. I’d had people touch my hand or my arm before, so why was this caress, her finger running over my skin, so soft and gentle it was like we were barely touching at all, sending sparks up my arm, all the way to my chest?

“I’ll see you t’morrow, Maya,” she said softly. I very faintly felt her breath on my face.

“Ye,” I squeaked and felt something against my hand again. It was wet and sniffing. Looking down, I saw Pancakes trying to see if we were secretly passing each other treats. I rubbed the top of his head. “He’s getting anxious.” So was I, come to think of it. I looked at the sun. It was starting to set. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Would you like for me to come fetch you?” Octavia asked. I thought about that for a moment, then nodded. It was a little risky, she might see me in wolf-form, but I’d just have to stay inside tonight. I wanted to avoid an incident. Tonight and tomorrow were wolf nights, and the morning after I’d wake up as The Witch again. I dreaded it a little. After all, Octavia seemed to like Maya. And it was a lot easier to… appreciate her back when I was Maya. 

“I’d love that,” I said, and raised my eyebrows. “Don’t be late. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Good,” she said, and looked around. Seemingly satisfied by what she saw, she leaned forward ever so daintily and kissed me on the cheek. It was a slight, soft peck, and it blew my brains out the side of my skull like a grenade had gone off next to my head. 

“Fzwl,” I said as I started to walk on autopilot. I heard her giggle behind me as I reached up to touch my cheek. Where her lips had touched my skin, it burned, in the best way possible. The ticking clock on the horizon was the only thing keeping me put one foot in front of the other. I was in such a daze, I was home before I’d even realised what had happened. I was a wolf before I’d realised what happened. 

Somehow, that night was one of the most anxious nights of my life. For the first time in both our lives, I was the one annoying and keeping Pancakes awake. I just… couldn’t stay still. I found myself walking through the cabin in circles, nails clicking on the floorboards, searching for something I knew wasn’t there. Even when I tried to sit still I couldn’t keep my paws from tippy-tapping up and down. I had put some logs on the fire, leaving the unpleasant taste of wood in my mouth and my whiskers slightly singed, and I didn’t even care. I was going to see her again in the morning and she’d kissed me on the cheek and it… 

My heart sank. It was going to be my last time in a month, wasn’t it? Because she didn’t look at The Witch the same way, and I felt like I had to be more… analytical. Like it was easier to be easygoing and comfortable when I was Maya. 

In the end, I managed to take a nap on the pillows and blankets that constituted the cabin’s cozy corner, and Pancakes, in his infinite wisdom, tried to take one on top of me. Well, I’d at least managed to close my eyes a little. I looked outside. I was going to have to invent something close to a clock, because not knowing what time it was was slowly driving me insane. 

I was in the middle of trying to use my mouth — muzzle? Maw? I had some things to study up on with regards to wolf anatomy — to feed Pan and myself using the little scoop, when I felt the effects of the full moon lessen. I finished feeding my oversized cat and then got dressed in the clothes I’d left in front of the fire. Gosh, nice and toasty. I was still flattening out my clothes, when I heard a knock on my door. 

Nearly tripping over myself, I somehow managed to make it to the front door in one piece. “Hi,” I said, breathlessly. Octavia beamed up at me and swept some hair out of her eyes. 

“Good morning,” she said, and somehow it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever heard. This was… bad. I had it bad. And she wasn’t even going to like me twenty-seven days out of every thirty. I shook my brain like an Etch-A-Sketch, not in the mood for dark thoughts like that. Not when I’d be spending my time with her. 

“You too,” I said quietly. I looked at Pan, grabbed the scoop and gave him extra food, made sure his water bowl was full, then kneeled down next to him. “Okay, Pancakes,” I whispered in his ear, “I’m gonna leave you here today, okay? Try not to destroy the house, okay? I’ll be back soon. If you need to go, I know you know how to open the door now, I’ve seen you fucking with the latch.” He looked up at me from his food, shoved his tongue up my nose and then went back to eating. “Alright,” I coughed, “good. Glad we’re in agreement. Now, Mommy’s gotta go… be with Octavia.” I’d whispered the last bit, and then realised I’d reflexively referred to myself as ‘Mommy’, which was a whole can of worms I wasn’t ready to open yet. I stood up. “Ready?”

“As ever,” Octavia said with a little laugh. I grabbed my coat and was about to grab the bag, but she held out her hand. “No need for that.” I raised my eyebrows. I’d assumed, if we were going to be in town, I’d likely be called on. “We won’t be seen by people today,” she said conspiratorially, then winked. “Come on.”

I eagerly joined her outside. She led me down the path to the village, but stopped me after only a few minutes of walking. Usually, the path took me around the peak of the mountain, and then down a ways to town. This time, however, Octavia led me down a path I wouldn’t have noticed on my own. That was, in part, because it was covered in more than a foot of snow, and partly because I simply hadn’t been looking for it, hidden as it was between a few trees. Following it up, we eventually came to the top of the mountain. 

There was a tiny cabin up here. Not comparable in the least to the Witch’s house, it was one, maybe two rooms. But it was cozy and it was remote. “Is this,” I huffed as we walked the last bit up the road, “what you wanted to show me?” 

“Something like that,” she said as hoisted herself out of the snow and onto the porch. She held out her hand to me, and easily lifted me up to her. I stumbled a bit and bumped into her. My breath caught in my throat as she caught me easily. By putting her hands on my waist. “Careful.” Her voice was a whisper, her face close to mine. Why was this setting my soul on fire like it did? 

“I mean…” I felt a giggle rise up in my throat, “if I’m not, you’ll catch me. That’s hardly an incentive…” She smirked, but didn’t let go. My breathing was shallow from the climb, but it was also hard to relax. Both of us, in fact, were still breathing heavily and blushing profusely.

“You’re an enigma, Maya the Witch,” she said. “You’ve a strange way of speaking, and a sense of awkwardness about you, but then you turn around and act like a coy flirt.” On that last word, she’d pulled me, almost imperceptibly, closer to her. I didn’t know what to do with my hands. “I do not know,” Octavia continued, “how to behave around you. What you might find proper or improper. What to do or what, even, to think.”

“Mood.”

“There you go again,” she giggled. “You’re… vexing, Maya. You vex me.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “And if I’m to be quite honest…” Her eyes opened, and she looked at me. She was so close. All I’d have to do was reach out, but it was all I could just to let my gaze rest on her lips, hanging on her every word. “I find you completely incomprehensible.” Well, that hadn’t been what I expected. I turned away, but her hand reached up, found my chin, and turned me to face her. “I would comprehend you, Maya.”

“Yes,” I said, breathless, voice caught in my throat. Her fingers slid along my jaw. 

“I would know you,” she said. 

“Yes.”

“I would kiss you.”

“Yes.” 

She did.

Elamimax

God I love them.