~Footmen don’t carry swords, so I’m gonna have to ditch it.~

 

 

 

On impulse, Ryan swiftly moved behind the carriage and hopped into the footman's seat, discarding his sheathed blade discreetly in the nearby underbrush. Taking a moment to adjust his appearance, he straightened his clothes and tried to get rid of the worse offending patches of dirt. Using his hands and a little spit, he slicked back his hair in an attempt to appear presentable and professional.

 

Sitting up with an air of formality, Ryan adopted the posture and demeanor of a dutiful attendant, imagining himself in the presence of a high-ranking commander. Although he realized that his uniform might draw unwanted attention if scrutinized closely, he hoped that the hurried and chaotic nature of the situation would prevent anyone from noticing any irregularities. It was a risky gambit, but Ryan had little choice but to rely on his improvisation skills and hope for the best.

 

Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, he mentally reviewed his sketchy plan, ~The key to pulling this off is to look bored out of my mind.~ As the carriage approached the main gate, Ryan focused on pretending to be an attendant. He tried to maintain a serious and aloof expression., while also appearing bored and disinterested, ~You have done this a thousand times before.~ He repeated in his head to help get in character.

Ironically, it was easy to convey the impression that he had been up for hours and was on the verge of exhaustion because he had been up for hours and was on the verge of exhaustion. The brightness increased as they neared the main gate, only reinforcing his need to maintain an unassuming presence, as any action might arouse suspicion.

 

~With any luck, they'll ignore me. But if they suspect me, at least I'll be right on top of the exit. Not a great plan, but-~ He tilted his head to the side to crack his neck, then forced himself to relax, ~Only one I got.~

 

Reaching the gate, the carriage came to a stop. One of the guards stepped up to the driver, "We are checking all-" A familiar voice yelled from inside the carriage, "You moronic plebeian! I'm The One HE ATTACKED!" The guard recoiled as the passenger's tone turned increasingly belligerent, "If he was inside with me, do you think I'd be HIDING HIM?" A shadow in the torchlight stretched past Ryan as someone leaned out a window to berate the guard directly. The guard bent backward from the verbal onslaught.

 

The words, "Let. Me. THROUGH!!!" Came out of the open carriage window and echoed into the night.

 

Flustered and stuttering, the guard replied as he saluted, "Y-Y-Yes, your Highness!" He looked to the other guards as he sounded orders, "Open the gate! Let them pass!"

 

The driver cracked the reigns and shouted, "Yah!" With the horses pulling hard, the carriage accelerated through the gate as the guard made hand gestures to let the carriage pass.

 

Meanwhile, Ryan sat motionless, trying to look as bored as possible, ~This is just another day. This is just another day...~ Was his internal mantra as his vehicle rolled through the gate into the darkness beyond.

 

As the carriage passed through the gate, a guard caught a glimpse of Ryan sitting in the footman's seat. Curiosity sparked in the guard's eyes, prompting him to step into the middle of the road and try to get a better look. However, the darkness quickly engulfed Ryan, making it difficult to discern any details. The guard hesitated, contemplating whether to raise the alarm, but ultimately dismissed the fleeting sight as insignificant. With a shake of his head, he resumed his duty, leaving the carriage and its occupants to continue on their way without further scrutiny.

 

Ryan allowed himself a grin as the gates began to close, ~Holy crap. I can't believe that-~ At that exact moment, the third prince's royal escort, which had been waiting on their horses for the prince to finally leave the university grounds, came into view as the carriage rolled out onto the main road, ~...Worked.~

 

The eight men all spurred their horses and began riding along with the carriage. They split up with four riding out in front. Ryan's immediate thought was, ~I just had to jinx it, didn't I?~ Ryan glanced about, contemplating jumping off, but they were going much faster than he would have liked and there was no immediate cover available to lose pursuit in.

 

"YOU!"

 

One of the rear escorts galloped closer and stared down at Ryan, "Who, pray tell, are you?" Ryan inwardly cursed whatever god was enjoying his suffering and smiled, "Dave!" The guard peered at Ryan suspiciously. Ryan elaborated, "The new guy?" Ryan gave a little two-finger salute, "Nice to meet you. Working hard or hardly working?"

 

The Knight tilted his head in confusion, "New guy?"

 

Ryan nodded and kept up the friendly banter, "Yup. Just transferred. I needed to move to this town to be closer to Mom. Being the eldest son I have to look after her." Ryan leaned in closer, put his hand to the side of his mouth, and spoke in a conspiratorial tone, "She came down with a case of the rickets."

 

The knight looked ever more confused as Ryan leaned back and nodded slowly in a knowing fashion. The knight looked back at the other knights. One of them shrugged. Ryan’s interrogator turned back to him, "And just what is 'The Rickets'?"

 

Ryan opened his mouth and was prepared to continue to spin his ever-evolving lie when he heard a voice above him exclaim with disbelief and credulousness, "Impossible." Looking up, Ryan saw the very student he had recently backhanded into a wall.

 

The third prince himself had opened up the rear window, leaned out, and was now staring down at Ryan. Ryan waved up at the prince, "Hey, Boss! I got some complaints about the working conditions. Would it kill you to pop for a seatbelt?"

 

The prince's face turned bright red with rage as he bellowed, "YOU!" Ryan replied, "Hey Moe!" and promptly shot his hand up to poke the prince in the eyes, three stooges style.

 

The prince screamed and recoiled, bashing the back of his head against the window frame. He covered his eyes with one hand as he flailed about with the other, hoping to ward off any follow-up attack. It was unnecessary for Ryan had already bailed.

 

In the dark, it was hard to tell, but it looked like there might be cover about forty yards away. In his old body, this would have been a snap. This kid's malnourished form was another matter. Ryan loathed to use his new ‘power’, but it was do or die time. He channeled all remaining energy into his legs to dash across the wide expanse to what appeared to be a poorly maintained cobblestone wall.

 

Ryan only got about halfway before his legs gave out.

 

He belly-flopped onto the grass and skidded to stop. He struggled to recover as he shouted, "LEGS! YOU HAD ONE JOB!" By sheer force of will, he forced himself to stand. It felt like every joint in his body was screaming in protest. He mumbled to himself an old motto he learned in the army, "Pain is just weakness leaving-"

 

He never got to finish as a blunt-headed arrow covered in silvery energy hit him square in the back. The force knocked him a good thirty feet, causing him to tumble along the ground. He only came to a halt when he slammed into the cobblestone wall.

 

Struggling to maintain his balance, Ryan slowly rose to his feet, his body throbbing with pain. It was only years of training that allowed him to move at all. Surprisingly, it wasn't the knights who shot him, but one of the school guards. It seemed his disguise had failed to deceive them, and now one of the guards was closing in on foot at great speed, utilizing a similar ability to Ryan's own. Within seconds, the guard stood tall over Ryan, a bow drawn with an arrow pointed directly at his head. The guard's voice was firm and commanding as he issued a warning, "Do. Not. Move."

 

Ryan started to speak but wound up coughing. He clutched his chest as he spit a clot of blood at the feet of the man threatening him. Ryan’s body was screaming at him to lie down, but a combination of pride and fear kept him on his feet. Ryan laughed weakly, "Are you even real?" The archer looked confused by this statement, going so far as to relax his draw slightly.

 

Ryan sized up the onyx-haired man in front of him. Square jaw. Chiseled features. His steel grey eyes appeared to be almost- no. Wait. The guard's eyes WERE glowing. They flickered with the same silvery energy that was crackling around the notched arrow currently aimed at his head.

 

The prince's escort was closing in. The archer glanced back, then at Ryan, "Surrender." Holding onto the wall, Ryan wiped away the blood drooling down his cheek before replying, "You wish to surrender? Very well. I accept! Throw down your weapons and I shall be merciful."

 

The guard barked out a short, "Ha!" And almost let loose the shot he had drawn back. He grinned while shaking his head to indicate he wasn’t going to surrender any time soon, "Sweet Mira above, you do possess a cheeky nature."

 

Ryan quipped back, "I prefer to call it a pair that clangs."

 

Both curious and confused the man inquired, "A pair of what?"

 

Ryan gestured to his crotch, "Balls. My Balls are huge and made of brass and when I walk they clang together." The man's expression changed to horribly offended as he sputtered, unable to respond to such an outlandish assertion.

 

It didn’t matter because at that point the conversation was over. Four of the prince’s escorts leaped on Ryan, who was in no position to resist. Within moments, Ryan was pinned on the ground face-first. Letting out an 'OOF', Ryan didn’t bother struggling as the escorts pulled his arms back and restrained him with manacles.

 

Ryan struggled to raise his head as they pressed his face into the dirt, "Handcuffs on the first date? I didn't know you guys were this kinky!"

 

One of the escorts paused and said, "What did you say?"

 

Ryan twisted his head around to look up at the man sitting on his back, "Whip Me! Beat Me! Make Me Write Bad Checks!" This caused the people standing around Ryan to pause and just stare, both at Ryan and questioningly at each other.

 

One of the escorts asked another, "Do you think he’s gone mad?

 

Ryan cried out, "That bastard with the bow ruptured my spleen and you are sitting on my back, OF COURSE, I’M PISSED!"

 

With his advisors and remaining guards in tow, the third prince came running up. The prince was shouting, "Kill Him! Cut off his head!" The rest of the gatehouse guards were finally catching up. There was quite a crowd forming. One of the escorts pulled out a sword.

 

The man with the bow said, "Hold on! The Headmaster put out the order for him to be captured ALIVE!" He stepped forward to put himself between the escort with the drawn sword and Ryan, "No one is getting beheaded today."

 

The prince was hopping mad, "He is guilty of attacking royalty!" He held out two fingers, "TWICE!"

 

The man with the bow cocked his head at the prince, "Twice?"

 

Ryan chimed in, "I may have poked him in the eyes."

 

The man with the bow swiveled to look down at Ryan, "What?"

 

The prince crowed in victory, "SEE? SEE? He admits it! KILL HIM!"

 

Ryan twisted his head around to look up at the prince, "Look, Honey! Baby! Schookums! I know I said I'd love you forever, but that was just pillow talk! I'm a rolling stone! A man's got needs!" Everyone stopped dead and in near synchronicity turned to look down at Ryan.

 

Now it was the prince's turn to say, "What?"

 

Ryan knew he had already gone too far but he just couldn’t take any of this seriously. On some level, he wanted them to kill him, if for no other reason than to see what would happen. Maybe he'll stay dead or maybe he'll reincarnate somewhere else in a body with a lot less baggage.

 

It was a win-win, as far as Ryan was concerned.

 

"Okay. I admit it. I had sex with her. Okay? I FUCKED her!" He paused then made puppy dog eyes up at the prince, "But I make LOVE to you, baby." The prince's eyes grew wide. Ryan fluttered his eyelids and made kissy sounds. The prince raised his boot to smash it down on Ryan's head.

 

 

 

 

 

The world went black.