"Do you ever stop working?"

 

Ryan looked up from his notepad, "I can stop working when I'm dead." He froze, "Wait."

 

The Dining hall was packed as of late. The new menu was a big hit and the condiment selection was a huge success. Ryan had taken to playing around in the kitchen and the invention of air conditioning/refrigeration was very helpful in easing the supply of perishable foods, although it was still mana stone intensive and thus was impractical on a large scale.

 

Ryan had "selected" a table on the far corner of the room because he liked having his back up against a wall and for the most part, it remained "reserved" for him. There were only four such tables like that, one for each prince, and Ryan. As of the past month, the school social hierarchy had settled down into its current form and nobody really wanted to rock the boat.

 

Charity, Monique, Aldermo, and Ryan were sitting at the corner table. In a way, social outcasts, but in another, afforded the respect that comes from fear. They existed in this quasi-space on the social hierarchy where they seemed way off to the side of things. There were people who talked trash about them, but the fact of the matter was, as long as Ryan kept churning out groundbreaking discoveries, he had absolute immunity to consequences.

 

Charity looked around, pulled out a small wooden whistle with a rolled-up paper tube on it, and blew the streamer right at Ryan, "FWEEEEEE!" Ryan jumped a little then stared at Charity, "Don't make me regret giving you that." Charity smiled, "Everyone. Today is a special day." Aldelmo and Monique looked at a Charity, "It is?" The two had been becoming more chummy as of late. It was obvious that Monique had eyes for Ryan, but Ryan's aggressive rejection eventually wore Monique down and she settled on Aldelmo, who has been on cloud nine ever since she showed up.

 

Charity nodded, "Reed here... has gone three days without cursing or swearing!" She smiled, then clapped lightly. Ryan raised an eyebrow, "So?" Charity looked at Ryan with wide eyes, "It's the longest since I've met you." Aldelmo and Monique both started clapping lightly and nodding to each other, "Quite the achievement." Ryan frowned and opened his mouth, but Charity cut him off, "Don't. You. Dare." Ryan scrunched his lips as he eyed Charity, "I was going to ask if you included my time in a coma."

 

"That was the previous record holder."

 

Ryan raised his eyebrows for a moment before getting back to his writing. A good deal of time passed in silence before Aldelmo cleared his throat repeatedly until he got Ryan's attention. Aldelmo tried to smile helpfully, "Hey." Ryan looked around for a second then back at Aldelmo, "What?" Aldelmo pensively tried to get a conversation going, "You okay? You aren't yourself... lately." Ryan gave Aldelmo a deadpan reply, "Again?"

 

Aldelmo furrowed his eyebrows together as he tried to figure out what that meant,  but was cut off by Ryan looking past him and addressing the man approaching the table, "Hey. Headmaster. Wazzup?"

 

The headmaster smiled at the table, "Afternoon, students." Ryan had already turned away and was rummaging around in a large bag on the chair next to him, "Got something for you..."

 

The headmaster looked all happy, like a kid in a candy shop, "Is it that new general memetic theory you were working on?" Ryan looked up, "You keep mentioning that. I told you it was just a theory. I'm still trying to find proof via predicted outcomes." The headmaster tried to look casual about it, "Oh... I only found the idea that mana from potions and mana from mana stones could be made interchangeable to be a rather promising one." He tried to sound like he was being casual, but it was obvious he was deeply interested.

 

Ryan let out a mild 'ugh' as he heaved a large box with a circle on one side, a smaller circle on the other, a switch, a knob, and a button. He put it on the table and took out its twin, "No. I've been experimenting with photons. Light is acting strangely." He lined up the two boxes, flipped the switches, and pressed the button on one box, "Testing Testing-'' The other box started to repeat, "Testing Testing-" but then a feedback squeal started to climb in volume. It almost immediately made everyone in the lunch area cover their ears. Fortunately, Ryan took his finger over the send button, "Sorry! Sorry!"

 

It is somewhat telling that everyone just took it in stride when Ryan did something bizarre. Everyone in the room just went back to eating, with only a few muttering mild complaints.

 

The headmaster picked up one box so he could examine it closer, "What is it?" Ryan tapped the other one, "Two-way radio. Proof of concept. I'm finding it difficult to make complex electronics so I've fallen back on vacuum tubes and more robust tech." Ryan flipped the off switches on both, "I'm running into the same problem as gunpowder. It's just not functioning as expected. This thing should work out to the horizon, and I'm lucky to get a mile. It makes no sense. "

 

The headmaster gingerly put the box back down, "A mile? We have magic speaking stones already that can reach the other end of the kingdom. Not very useful, I'm afraid." Ryan tapped the box, "No magic." The headmaster blinked, "Excuse me?" Ryan nodded, "Not even magic stones. I finally figured out how to make functional batteries. You wanna hear something funny? I had run out of ideas so I tried a potato battery."

 

The headmaster slowly tilted his head to the side as Ryan continued, “Yeah. It runs off of potatoes. It SHOULDN'T, but apparently potatoes have a great deal of voltage here." He flipped open the top of one of the boxes  to expose a large potato with wires sticking out of it, "The potato can run for several hours of continuous use, or you need to replace it after a week on idle."

 

The headmaster stared at Ryan, "Potatoes."

 

Ryan nodded, "Potatoes."

 

The headmaster pointed at the boxes, "You made a non-magical speaking stone that is powered by... potatoes."

 

Ryan shrugged, "Hey! Ya got me! I never expected to portal two this mother, but there you go." The headmaster closed his eyes and rubbed his eyebrow as if he was getting a migraine, "Reed? We had this talk already. You know how you say things that make no sense and then you try to clarify and you only make LESS... sense?" Ryan collapsed back into his chair, "Hey, look... It isn't my fault. I... It's this blessing. I can remember everything in my life. Everything. with perfect clarity. It helps when I'm trying to remember how to build something or apply ideas to other ideas..."

 

Ryan suddenly winced and covered his mouth, "Oh God! I'm gonna vomit!"

 

Everyone looked at each other, then at Ryan, "What?"

 

Ryan fought back the urge to hurl and eventually spoke, "Oh god. I was trying to think of an example of why perfect recall sucks and I just remembered every single time my mom breastfed me." He started to look a little green as he covered his mouth, "Exactly one thousand, one hundred and sixty-eight times." He paused, then heaved a little, “Oof!" and doubled over. Charity started to pat him on the back, "It... It's okay. It'll be fine."

 

Ryan looked up at her, "No it won't! She breastfed me until I was almost FOUR!" He clutched the sides of his head, "Oh why oh why didn't this come with an off switch?" The headmaster pulled up a chair and sat down, "This happens often... I take it?" Ryan just nodded as he covered his mouth while swallowing back the bile. Aldelmo offered Ryan a napkin. Ryan scowled at him at first, but eventually just took it and spit into it, "Ick," He made a loud, disgusting sound while clearing his throat which drew a great deal of attention and raised eyebrows from the headmaster.

 

Ryan coughed one last time then looked at the Headmaster, "It's why I talk so strange. I can remember every game, every show, every conversation I ever had or observed. When I talk, I try to find the right words except I can't quite find the correct fit, so I keep thinking of metaphors." Ryan shrugged, "Except they are metaphors personal to me and nobody else." The headmaster leaned back, "In other words, you can express yourself exactly as you intend, but nobody has your life experiences, so nobody can understand you."

 

Ryan touched his nose, "Bingo!"

 

The headmaster looked exasperated, "I assume that means, 'yes'." Monique and Charity both giggled. The headmaster looked over at Monique and then back at Ryan, "That reminds me... you know the dance is coming up, yes?" Ryan shook his head, "No. I was blissfully unaware of this. But now you that have brought it up, I assume this huge time sink will soon be upon us." The headmaster frowned, "The freshman dance is an important event in a student's life." He looked off into the distance with a faint smile, "I remember when I went to-"

 

Ryan lunged for a butter knife and began applying it to his wrist, dull side first. He started 'sawing' while muttering, "How's that go? Across for attention, down for results?"

 

Headmaster frowned at Ryan, "I take it you don't want to listen to an old man reminisce?"

 

Ryan proceeded to 'slit' his own throat, "Keanu Christ, Take me now!" then dropped the knife back on the table, "My god you must have the psychic power to read minds because I just checked my to-do list, and it appears the LAST thing I ever want to do is listen you talk about how wonderful you thought school was."

 

The headmaster folded his arms, "How did you get so cynical?"

 

Ryan stared at the headmaster, "Oh. I dunno. I had a terrible life. My mom died. My dad is a philandering piece of trash. I had the crap beat out of me on a fairly regular basis and the only reason it isn't still going on is because I died and came back from the dead. Now everyone is terrified of me because I have taken the laws of science and magic and twisted them into a pretzel."

 

The headmaster blinked and looked both surprised and uncomfortable as Ryan continued his little rant, "School dances are for people who like people and are liked in turn. I am an utter, total, and dare I say... PROUD Misanthrope! School dances are for social butterflies who want to make friends and influence people."

 

Ryan hooked a thumb at his chest, "I want to make war and influence global weather conditions with my still-under-development orbital DEATH LASER!" Ryan held up a hand to cut off the headmaster, "I know what you are about to say, but frankly, everyone wants weapons. Why? Because there is no problem in this world that cannot be solved with just the right amount of explosives." He held up a single finger, "I'm not saying it's an IDEAL solution, but if your problem is reduced to dust motes drifting across a sea of molten magma... THAT... is definitely a solution."

 

More than a few people were looking in Ryan's direction with odd looks.

 

Ryan noticed the faces turned his way and looked around the room, "HEY! It's called MAD. Mutual Assured Destruction. If our kingdom has the ability to blow up the world twice, and our enemies have the ability to blow up the world three times, then nobody will ever start a war again, because right after someone shoots first, EVERYONE DIES."

 

Ryan stood up and held his hands high up over his head, "PEACE!" Then pointed finger guns at the headmaster, "Through superior firepower!"

 

The headmaster looked at Ryan, "No one can kill everyone on the planet. Right?"

 

Ryan froze, looked around, then quietly sat down, "No. No no no... of course not!" He laughed nervously, "Sooooooo… You were talking about a dance?" Charity's eyes started to go wide, "Wait. Did you figure out-"

 

Ryan reached out and slapped a hand across Charity's mouth as he hissed at her, "LOOK. Gunpower isn't working right, and integrated circuits aren't functioning, PERIOD. So while, in THEORY, I might be able to hit cities with sun chunks, considering what I'd have to do to TEST my theories and the high chance I might accidentally... I dunno... burn every living thing that light touches to a crisp, I don't think that line of research is going to be of help, Kay?"

 

The headmaster started to turn white, "What?"

 

Dropping his hand from Charity's mouth, Ryan made a dismissive gesture towards the headmaster, "Relax! Where am I going to find tonnage amounts of tritium anyways?" He froze and got a thoughtful look, "Unless... I suppose I could-" He smacked himself across the face, "Stop! Stop! Stop!"

 

Monique looked curious, "I think you are doing zee metaphor thing you spoke about before, No?"

 

Ryan looked at Monique and sighed, "Look. Even if the demon lord never shows up, a nation has to be able to defend its borders. How do you defend your borders? When you boil it down, it comes down to energy." Ryan started talking with his hands, "It started with one guy hitting another guy, then we upgraded to rocks and sharp sticks, then you put sharp rocks ON sticks, then metal on sticks, then just metal."

 

"But that's just energy when you boil it down to the basics. Kinetic energy. There is also heat energy with fire. But we got other forms of energy." Ryan hit the table with the palm of his hand, "Wham! Sonic energy! But what is sonic energy? It's kinetic energy. What is heat? It's Photonic energy. Heat is just a form of light. But what about electromagnetism? That's also energy. And of course... the most powerful form of energy, Not the creation or destruction of chemical bonds, but turning matter DIRECTLY into energy."

 

Ryan looked at the ceiling, "I suppose you could convert the fundamental underpinning of reality itself into energy, but I have no idea how to burn space-time itself, so that's right out. Plus, tapping directly into zero point energy could turn this entire planet into a cinder hurtling through space as a giant gravestone to mark where we all once loved and laughed and played." Everyone just stared at Ryan as he continued his little rant, "My point is, energy, and the ability to convert it into different forms of energy, and more importantly CONTROLLING energy to apply it to the world in ways you want is what any nation needs to defend its borders."

 

"Take this, for example.." He pointed upwards and a gout of steam shot out of his finger for a few inches, "Steam. Water when it goes from a liquid state to a gas increases in pressure by a factor of over 200. That's a whole lot of force. If I can figure out a way to harness this then flight isn't just for air mages anymore."

 

The headmaster struggled not to look shocked, ~Did... he just become the first steam elementalist?~

 

"And yes, I'd love to do tests on piezonuclear fusion and see if I can actually get the palladium experiments to work... but since the fundamental laws of reality are... I dunno... just... WRONG. And I mean, in the margins. In general, the laws of reality are working right but when I test the far end of the bell curve I keep running into... unexpected results."

 

He leaned back, then picked up a fork to stab his salad, "Until I can figure out why reality isn't working the way my math says it should, I have to make sure I don't accidentally set off a chain reaction that causes everything to go boom." He eyed the carrot on the end of his fork, "It's almost like the very curve of space-time itself is... pixilated. Or... maybe time doesn't exist? I find that strange since it seems to be passing, but-" He ate his carrot.

 

Everyone around was quiet. Aldelmo looked at the headmaster, "Did you understand any of that?" The headmaster replied, "Most of it." He looked at Ryan, "I'm... curious about the whole... time doesn't exist?" Ryan swallowed, "Well... it'd explain things. I need to go out and test... well... everything. I'm making assumptions that I need to confirm. Time might not be real. Gravity might not be real. They might be emergent properties."

 

He continues to eat his salad, "But, to get back to your original request of converting mana potions directly into recharging mana stones, I need to understand these questions before I can begin to attempt such a thing. I'm currently operating on the idea that mana is like... electricity. So there would be direct mana and alternating mana and I'm wondering if that's why holy and demonic energy react so violently with each other."

 

Ryan pointed into the air and created a simple magic circle, "Why do magic circles operate more like circuits than actual circuits? Why is electromagnetism so unstable at low power? Why are chemical reactions operating correctly MOST of the time, but in oddball situations, like gunpowder, burning slower and thus with less power than expected?" He waved his hand and the circle vanished, "I'm beginning to think it's all related to quantum mechanics where perception influences reality but... it's just... I don't know. I need answers and they are hard to find."

 

The headmaster nodded and said, "You should go to the dance."

 

Ryan let out an 'AUGH!' and bashed his forehead into his salad.

 

Charity giggled while everyone else rolled their eyes.

 

Ryan lifted his head, with a single leaf of lettuce stuck to his forehead, and turned to look at Charity, "Do you want to go to the dance with me?" She blushed and sputtered and shook her head, "Milord! I-I-I-I am just a commoner! I cannot go with you." Ryan looked at the headmaster, "Is she right?" The headmaster reached forward to pull the lettuce off Ryan's forehead, "Yes. It is intended for nobles. It is a social gathering for young people to get together and form the bonds that will last a lifetime."

 

Ryan shrugged, "Well. I tried."

 

The headmaster sighed and tried to speak to Ryan. Ryan cut him off.

 

"LOOK. Let me make this perfectly clear. I will not go to the dance. I will not go for a prance. I will not dance over there. I will not dance anywhere! I will not dance with a mouse. I will not dance in a house. You can offer me green eggs and ham, but dance I won't... Reed, I am!"

 

He then crossed his arms, "And that's final!"

 

---

 

Lucinda closed her eyes, bowed forward, and folded her hands, "So will you PLEASE go to the dance with me?"

 

Defeated, Ryan replied, "Okay."