~When you are scared, act like you don't care.~

 

Ryan shook his head slowly and reached into his vest pocket, pulling out a small steel case. Opening it, he pulled out a cigarette and his lighter. He put the cigarette in his mouth and lit up, sucking hard as he squinted at the the dragon with one eye. The dragon remained backed up against a pile of trees it had knocked over, resembling in every respect a terrified cat. Its whole body was scrunched up and its back was arched with a ridge of scales standing up all the way down its spine. It was focused entirely on Ryan, ignoring all the other humans in the area who were taking cover and hiding.

 

As Ryan took the time to light up a smoke, its attitude slowly changed from frightened to more than a little confused. It cocked its head to the side and the scales down its back slowly relaxed, no longer standing on end in a primordial reflex to make itself appear bigger, an almost laughable instinct in a creature as large as a dragon.

 

Everyone else in the area was frozen. The point of view of everyone else was rather simplistic. A dragon appeared. That was usually game over all by itself. Completely out of nowhere Ryan came flying down, looked it in the eye, and the giant living death machine recoiled in terror. This many 'what-the-fuck' moments in such quick succession was leaving the subjugation team in a less than, how shall we say, tranquil state of mind.

 

In the moment, Maxwell felt like this was the perfect opportunity to counter strike, except Ryan did nothing. He just stood over there, staring at the dragon and having a smoke. He, like everyone else, had no idea what to do, but at this moment, it seemed best to follow Ryan's lead. 

 

Ryan's lead indicated now was a time to chill.

 

Ryan took his cigarette out of his mouth and started walking towards the dragon, flicking the ash off with his thumb as he walked. He didn't look straight at the dragon, instead, he keep looking down, looking up, looking anywhere but directly at the dragon, only occasionally glancing at it while muttering to himself, "God damn it... why? Why do I always have to deal with this crap? There are so many people on the planet you could be bothering but NOOOOOoooooo..."

 

He came to a stop a fair distance in front of the dragon, planted both feet, took one long drag on his cigarette, then dropped it. He crushed the cigarette under his boot, "A'rite. Fine." He looked at the dragon square in the eye, "How we gonna do this?"

 

The dragon turned its head a hundred and eighty degrees in the other direction, as if a different angle would yield new information to the enigma that was Ryan. It slowly extended its neck, keeping its head low to the ground and moving slow. The head snaked closer to Ryan, moving its head from side to side to get different angles on Ryan. Ryan tolerated this scrutiny for a minute before he snapped his fingers at the dragon. This caused it to jerk its head back and narrow its eyes. Ryan spoke with an annoyed tone, "I asked a question."

 

The dragon spoke with a deep, rumbling purr, "I request your name."

 

Ryan purposely blinked very slowly before answering, "Fair enough. Reed Demonslayer."

 

The dragon cocked its head suddenly, "No aliases. Your name.... please."

 

Ryan snapped his fingers as if remembering, "Ah. You mean before... right. I used to be Reed Ratliff."

 

The dragon lowered its head but moved closer, "If you do not tell me your real name, I will assume you have hostile intentions and defend myself."

 

Ryan blinked and looked shocked. He paused and looked around at everyone else. Everyone was staring back at him. He turned back to the dragon and scratched the back of his head, then nodded and motioned for the dragon to come closer.

 

The dragon didn't move.

 

Ryan rolled his eyes, "You want my real name I'll tell you, but you gotta keep it secret." He held his hand up to his mouth to obviously focus a whispering voice into a the dragon's ear

 

The giant draconian beast growled in suspicion, but moved its head closer, turning sideways to present a fist-sized membrane to Ryan. Ryan leaned in and spoke softly, "Ryan Andrew Yauger." Then stepped back, "Yeah yeah, I know what the initials stand for. Don't make fun of it. Kinda touchy about it after high school."

 

The dragon relaxed completely, hanging its head and letting out a long held breath, "Oh thank Christ." The dragon looked up with a relieved look on its face, "I thought you were working with that other guy. You smell totally the same." The dragon raised its neck up and said, "Well. Clearly this is a misunderstanding, so I'll be going."

 

Ryan held up two fingers, "Whoa whoa whoa... hold on there... I got some questions for you."

 

The dragon narrowed his eyes at Ryan, "and what makes you think you get to interrogate me?"

 

Ryan just stared at the dragon, then closed his eyes and took a deep breath, slowly counting down from five.

 

Ryan forced a smile as he reopened his eyes, "I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. So, PLEASE, answer my questions. I need to know some things."

 

The dragon looked up at where the giants ran off and let out a poof of air, "I suppose it's a little too late to catch up anyways." He lowered his head, "Very well. I will answer any reasonable question if you ask the questions within a reasonable amount of time. When things get unreasonable, I will inform you and we can negotiate new terms as to answering those questions."

 

The dragon pointed a claw at Ryan, "You will, in exchange, perform a favor for me in the future at an unspecified time, should I ask for it, either in person or by proxy."

 

Ryan thought about the odd phrasing of the agreement for a few moments then added some clarifications of his own, "Addendum. I will perform a REASONABLE favor for you. If you request an unreasonable favor, we can negotiate the new terms at that time." The dragon chuckled which made everyone else tense up and ready their weapons.

 

"Agreed. Ask your questions."

 

"Well, let's start with the obvious, Who is 'HIM'?"

 

The dragon shuddered a bit, "The other reincarnator of course. Child raper the Misogynist."

 

Ryan stared at the dragon, "What?"

 

The dragon began to repeat himself, "The other-" Ryan cut him off, "No no no... the NAME. Wha- Seriously? That... that's his name?"

 

The dragon nodded energetically, "Oh yes! At first I was quite disgusted with him and planed on killing him on the spot but..." It shuddered, "He was very... very powerful. He had subjugated a great deal of demons who were in attendance as his servants. Normally demons are no threat to one such as I but..." The dragon got a thousand yard stare and his pupils narrowed becoming thin slits, "He knew me. He knew all about me. He..." The dragon started to tremble then shook off the sensation, "I consider myself lucky to have escaped. I am leaving." He pointed with a wing at the path the giants took, "I was going to get something to eat before I go. It will be a long trip to the dimensional gate."

 

Ryan sputtered for a second, "Wha-wha-what? Dimensional Gate? As in, a wormhole to exit this reality? An inter-dimensional, I'm-gonna-get-off-this-planet type gate?"

 

The dragon nodded, "Yes, indeed. I am surprised you understand the words I use. You are an exceptionally intelligent human!" He paused, "I have been rude. My name is, The Great Coward."

 

Ryan quirked an eyebrow, "Uh... what?"

 

The dragon spoke slowly, "I am The Great Coward!" It smiled, "Among dragons, I am quite famous."

 

Ryan made several aborted attempts to continue the conversation. He eventually put his hands together as if praying and held them before his mouth in thought. Eventually he moved his hands forward to point at the dragon, "You... are proud that you are a great coward?"

 

The dragon snorted, "WHAT?" Everyone watching flinched.

 

Ryan narrowed his eyes, "Okay. Something strange is going on. You called yourself The Great Coward."

 

The dragon rose up and spoke with a deep booming voice, "I Did NOT! I said, 'THE GREAT COWARD.'"

 

Ryan held up a finger to the dragon, then made a fist and covered his mouth. He cleared his throat before continuing in a slow and measured manner, "I don't know what you are saying... but what I HEAR from you is... The Great Coward."

 

The dragon paused, then rolled its eyes, "OH. You mean... ah." It nodded as if understanding, then paused, "Wait. You know you are using a universal translator, yes? You simply do not have the concepts to understand my name."

 

One of Ryan's eyebrows shot up, "WAIT." His eyes started to jump from side to side while he spoke as if his brain was an overloaded computer processor, "So you are telling me... my universal translator doesn't just translate words, but sometimes gives me translated NAMES?"

 

The dragon nodded, "Of course. Did the one who taught you not explain how it works?" Ryan shook his head, "I don't even know how I got it in the first place." The dragon looked a bit surprised, "Ah. How do I explain this?" Its forked tongue flickered in and out of its mouth while it thought, "Do you know what fish is?" Ryan nodded. The dragon continued, "Now say the names of three types of fish."

 

Ryan thought for a bit, "Uh... carp... trout... eh... goldfish?"

 

The dragon nodded, "Now imagine what I heard was Fish, Fish, and Fish. If I didn't know what those specific fish were, the universal translator would fill in the word with what would be close enough given my knowledge." It pulled itself up and cocked its head to the side, "Of course, being a dragon I have a vastly greater pool of knowledge to pull from and thus I know what those three fish are." It paused, "Although a fish that you throw ping pong balls at is a strange sounding fish.

 

Ryan blinked, "That's not what-" He paused, "Hold it." He thought back to his childhood when he used to attend the county fair and how the one goldfish he had as a pet, he won by tossing a ping pong into its bowl, "Does the way I see a goldfish and the way others see a goldfish color how you hear the word?" The dragon looked a little shocked, "How odd. You managed to say the same word but two different ways." It moved its head in closer to eye Ryan up close, "Few humans are able to convey such nuance." It smirked, "Crude... but nuanced none the less."

Ryan nodded slowly and bit his lower lip, "I see..." He then snapped his fingers again, "When I heard you call that other... er... reincarnation? Was it? Uh... that guy. You called him 'Child Raper the Misogynist'. That was just my universal translator changing his name to something I understand?"

 

The dragon recoiled slightly, then wobbled his head from side to side, "His name was a tad bit more subtle than THAT, but basically, yes. When you use universal translator, it allows you to gain insight into the nature of what a word means, especially proper nouns. You hear someone's name as they are. Well..." The dragon puffed out one cheek, then pushed the air to the other side of its mouth before blowing out a puff of air, "Assuming you have the concepts, of course. Human language is so primitive it is very, very, VERY bad at expressing the true nature of something in a concise manner. I doubt it would come up very often." It paused then looked at Ryan, "Present company excepted, of course!"

 

Ryan nodded and smiled at the compliment, "Thank you."

 

The dragon continued, "Talking to you is less like talking to a hooting baboon and more like talking to ahhh... five year old child." The dragon smiled, "It is very cute, actually... your baby speak." It grinned at Ryan.

 

Ryan's smile faded, "Uh... thanks."

 

Maxwell finally found the courage to approach the two in conversation. Alpha team as a whole was still on edge and still waiting for the other shoe to drop, so Maxwell moved closer so he could join the conversation, "Uh. Reed?" Ryan looked over his shoulder, "Yeah?" Maxwell glanced back and forth between Ryan and the Dragon, "So what is going on?"

 

Ryan gestured to the dragon while looking at Maxwell, "We're having a conversation?"

 

Maxwell nodded slowly, "All I'm hearing is the two of you growling at each other."

 

The dragon humphed, "Well, I'm certainly not bothering to talk to any of them. If YOU want to include them in on our conversation, you can do so, but only what you say, please. If they can't use such simple memetic magic as universal translator, then I don't want to bother including them."

 

Ryan looked back and forth between the two then looked at Maxwell, "Uhh... everything is... good. Everyone can relax. Don't... attack him and we'll be fine. In fact..." He looked at the dragon, "You said you were hungry. If... you got the gold, I think they'd be willing to sell the critters we already killed to you so you can eat them. I know they wanted the components, but if you clear us out at a fair price. We can go get more monsters and you can go on your way."

 

The dragon thought for a second and started to make horfing sounds. His whole body was undulating as he contracted and extended his neck repeatedly. Ryan took a step back, looking more than a little apprehensive as he watched the dragon puff its cheeks repeatedly. Abruptly it paused then made a disgusting puking sound as it vomited forth a pile of gold coins, gold bars, and various types of gemstones up to the height of Ryan. Maxwell's eyes popped out of his head, along with most of the members of alpha team. Yes, the pile of riches was covered in dragon mucus, but gold is gold, after all.

 

Hell, if they scrape up the dragon mucus, maybe they can sell that as well.

 

The dragon spoke and everyone apparently understood what it said this time, "ME PAY FOR YOUR MONSTERS. YOU GIVE ME MONSTERS TO EAT. YOU TAKE TREASURE. AGREE?"

 

Ryan held the back of his hand up to his lips and spoke to the dragon out of the side of his mouth, "They're not idiots. You CAN talk to them normally." The dragon eyed Ryan in a bemused fashion before it opened its mouth. It spoke to Ryan in a series of growls, moans, and occasionally sounded like it was speaking with at least two voices at once while letting out a modulated trill. Ryan's jaw dropped, "Huh?"

 

The dragon chuckled, "That was me speaking... normally. Did you understand any of it?"

 

Ryan held up a finger, "As a matter of fact..." Then curled up his finger and shook his head while looking at the ground, "No... Actually... not a single word."

 

Maxwell looked at the treasure, then at Ryan, "Uh... can you explain he is... overpaying? I don't want to rip off-" The dragon interrupted, "ME PAY FOR FAST SERVICE! KEEP EXTRA! BUY ALE AND WHORES OR WHATEVER YOU PRIMATES SPEND MONEY ON!"

 

Maxwell nodded, looked at the gold, then shrugged, "Okay. Everyone, Let's... get the catch served up!" He eyed the mucus covered gold, "How did he...?" He shook his head, "Never mind. I don't want to know." He started to walk away, then paused and rushed over to check on the unconscious and forgotten Aldelmo.

 

The dragon answered the question to Ryan, "I have a small extra dimensional gullet I keep my treasure in for when I need to travel. I am leaving this world. It has been a pleasant two hundred years here, but I can feel bad times are coming." He took a deep breath, "Say... you aren't from this world either, right? I can tell. You have the smell of... oh... what is that place?" The dragon started to tap a claw on the ground repeatedly, "It's on the tip of my tongue. Morgan Freeman comes from there."

 

Ryan gaped, "Wait... you know of Morgan Freeman?"

 

The Dragon nodded, "Oh yes. I am quite the consumer of inter-dimensional culture. There is one world in the multiverse where magic is at its lowest ebb. It is said that somehow, humans have evolved to survive there. Life is not possible without magic, and yet, there are humans living on this world that is a thaumaturgical wasteland. Amazing to think about, really. It is said there are MILLIONS of humans on this world that have not only survived, but thrive in a world built on strange and arcane sciences!" The dragon looked excited, almost like a fan-boy, "They have things they make called 'movies'. Very exciting stuff!"

 

Ryan nodded slowly, "It's name is Earth. And yes, I'm from there."

 

The dragon looked impressed, "It figures. A soul that could survive in that void of magic would be ungodly powerful when it reached a world with a decent flow of magic, even a world as close to the dark matter shoals as this one." It nodded slowly, "That would explain why your killing intent is so intense. But..." It eyed Ryan up and down, "You are not as strong as the other. I think you should avoid him." Its eyes lit up, "I know! You could come with me! We could tour the multiverse! You are just so cute! I would love to have you come along!" It reached out a massive claw to pat Ryan on the head, "Oooo! I just want to cradle you in my claws and feed you orcs! I bet when you chew it is SOOOOOOO CUTE!"

 

A horn was heard in the distance.

 

Ryan looked away from the dragon, "Oh Crap."