Ryan stood on the stage before the giant statue of the All-father in front of the town temple.

 

Ryan kept smiling and waving to the crowd periodically. The dwarves elder was droning on and on. Ryan's eyes glazed over. Certainly he was saying nice things about Ryan and praising him for his actions, but for some reason it wasn't making Ryan feel any better. In fact, it was grating on his nerves.

 

He couldn't help but think back to what he read in the diary. How these very dwarves cast out Reed's biological mother. No matter how you look at it, Reed's mother more than likely died because she was abandoned by this very community that was praising him. The very thought of that was making Ryan's blood boil.

 

~I know saving them was the right thing to do, but I wonder how Reed would have felt about this if he was around? I feel like I owe the kid and I should do what he would have wanted. This is like Rudolph and the other Reindeer. Would Reed be happy to have been accepted, or would he be like I feel now?~ He glanced about the many smiling faces looking up at him, ~Like their kindness is nothing but malice?~

 

As he looked at the crowd, they looked back expectantly. Some of them looking increasingly confused. Ryan glanced around the platform and noticed that just about everyone was focused on him, especially the dwarven elder. He was standing with his hand extended towards Ryan while smiling, but it was that nervous sort of smile that someone gets when they were expecting one sort of response, but we're getting something totally different.

 

~He must have said something that required a reply. Crap.~ Ryan stared at the dwarven elder and could visibly see the sweat starting to form on his forehead. Ryan tried to recall what he had been saying, but nothing came to mind, ~When in doubt, punt.~

 

Ryan cleared his throat, "Well-well... Indeed! Indeed... Quite. Quite." He spoke while nodding and slowly blinking at the same time, to give the impression that he had thought deeply about this topic and was taking it very seriously. The dwarves elder let his hand drop, "Uh... so you will accept?" Ryan looked back out at the crowd. The humans were looking increasingly curious. The Dwarves were looking increasingly worried.

 

Clan leader Mordon wasn't looking at Ryan but glaring at the Dwarven elder, who seemed to have missed the memo. Mordon had an expression that looked like he was all but screaming, 'DROP THIS, YOU FOOL!' Ryan looked back the elder and cleared his throat, "Well. I mean... I will certainly give this all due consideration and weigh my options. I have many obligations and I have to weigh the cost to benefit ratio. A time motion analysis wouldn't be a bad idea either. Perhaps a committee could be arranged to assess the pros and cons." He raised a finger and smiled politely, "Regardless, I assure you, I will be certain to give you a response in a timely fashion."

 

Ryan closed his eyes and nodded once in self-satisfaction, ~There! That was rather diplomatic, if I do say so myself.~ Upon opening his eyes he was greeted with a look from the Dwarven elder that was not unlike the expression one might have if someone stood on your dining table and, right in front of you, pissed in your cornflakes. Ryan winced slightly, ~Uh-oh.~

 

The king, quite expertly stepped up to eclipse the two and take the spot light, "At this point I'd like to-" The elder either ignored the king or didn't notice him. He spoke with the tone of one mortally offended, "WEIGH... the PROS... and CONS???" The King stopped and glared back in a fashion that screamed, 'SHUT. UP.' Mordon's eyes were wide as dinner plates as he franticly waved the flat of his hand in front of his throat. The elder didn't see anything going on around him, except for Ryan directly in front of him.

 

Ryan sighed, ~I guess I screwed up again.~ He rubbed his eyebrows briefly then looked up at the elder, "Look. I'm just going to flat out tell you, I... don't entirely understand what you are asking and I'm not going to agree to anything until I understand it, so why don't we just move on and we can talk-"

 

The Elder cut Ryan off, "What's not to understand??? I'm offering to take you into my very home! My Very COMMUNITY and teach about your heritage as a dwarf! What's to think about???" Ryan stared back quietly. In that moment, nobody made a sound.

 

Ryan clicked his tongue, ~Oh.~

 

The king started to speak but was a little too slow, Ryan's voice cut through the air. He had spent time commanding troops and he knew how to project his voice.

 

"But I'm not a dwarf, AM I?"

 

The Elder blinked, looking completely caught off guard, "What? I-I Th-thought your mother was a dwarf?" Mordon went completely white.

 

Ryan's face became an emotionless mask, "Ah." Ryan looked at the ground and took one step closer to the elder, "This is true. My mother, who you and your... 'COMMUNITY'... cast out because she was pregnant with me, was... indeed... a dwarf." Ryan abruptly looked up while stepping closer to get right in the elder's face, "Because she chose to keep me and take care of me, she lost her friends, her family and all support. She was a pariah... and my Asshole of a father didn't give two shits about her so she had to struggle, doing whatever she had to do just to survive."

 

He turned to the audience, but his hand to the side of his mouth and stage whispered, "Translation: She whored herself." To say the audience was shocked into silence, would be an understatement.

 

The Elder backed up a step. He stuttered and tried to continue speaking by Ryan wouldn't let him, "Eventually, my mother, the DWARF, died. She died trying to keep me alive. She died, taking care of me to the best of her ability. She was a shining example of everything good in this world."

 

"She died, with a body wracked with pain from the diseases she had contracted as a prostitute to earn the money to take care of her bastard child." The whole crowd cringed.

 

Ryan slowly kept walking forward as the elder kept backing away, "In the end, she died, because she was alone, with nobody to help her. It makes me wonder how things would have turned out if she hadn't been cast out by you and your..." The elder had backed up right to the railing which Ryan had him pinned against. Ryan leaned in close to speak, "So. Called. COMMUNITY."

 

The elder cowered beneath Ryan's baleful gaze, "However, that is irrelevant. That data point is an entirely superfluous quantum of useless trivia." Ryan slowly raised a single finger to waggle in front of the Elder's face, "Because I am NOT..." He gently booped the dwarf on the nose, "A Dwarf... now am I?" Ryan turned and started walking back to his spot, but did not stop talking. Instead he remembered one of the passages from Reed's diary, "I remember once when I was younger I approached four Dwarven kids playing and I asked them if they could talk to me about what it was to be a dwarf. They agreed."

 

Ryan, arriving at his spot, spun around and glared at the elder, "So they beat the ever living shit out of me. When I fell down and curled up in a ball, they just KEPT. ON. KICKING ME." Ryan's eyes finally were showing emotion... that of cold rage. He was now remembering times in his own youth when he experienced similar events and this was something he could empathize with Reed about.

 

The tension from the crowd was so thick you could cut it with a knife. King Uther Dragonsbane, Clan Leader Mordon Longbeard, and high priest Throd Gavelbringer stood stock still. None of them brave enough to attempt to end this verbal beatdown of the town elder

 

Ryan tapped his chin and looked skyward, "Now how did they put it? Ah yes. We're dwarves and you are just a lousy, stinking HALFLING." Mothers moved to cover the ears of their children at the word, "Not half a man. Not half a dwarf. Not half of anything." Ryan paused for dramatic effect before finally looking back down at the Elder, "You're nothing."

 

Ryan smiled, but it was a cold smile... A most sinister smile, "So you see. I don't need to learn about your culture. I know everything there is to know about you! You're prideful, arrogant, self-centered, egotistical bullies who enjoy the suffering of those who are weaker than you!" He spoke with a happy voice that made his words sting even worse.

 

Ryan smiled even more, his voice growing more cheerful and hopeful sounding with every syllable, "You like to talk big about family, honor and tradition but what you people lack is kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. You enjoy looking down on others from a position of moral superiority, when the ugly truth is, you have no morals, no scruples, and in the end, you only think about yourselves and your position in your so called-" Ryan held up both hands and made finger quotes, "Community!"

 

"And if you are wondering why an outcast like me came here to save your ass, it's because THAT MAN-" At this point he stabbed a finger at the king, "Taught me what it means to be noble! That MAN is more of a father to me then anyone I know! He values your lives and for THAT MAN I put aside my hatred and rage to save you for HIS BENEFIT!" Ryan had raised himself up on his toes as his voice raised to a crescendo. As he yelled, spittle flew from his lips, "So if you feel compelled to be thankful to anyone, THANK THAT MAN, because it is for him, and HIM ALONE that you are ALIVE RIGHT NOW!"

 

The air was still. No one dared make a sound. Ryan slowly lowered his hands and folded them in front of himself. When he continued, it was in a sing-song cheerful tone, "So it is with heavy heart and much regret that I am to inform you that because I am a lousy stinking Halfling, I have no place in your... COMMUNITY... and thus I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request."

 

Ryan remained silent. The whole time the elder was quivering under the verbal assault. Eventually he slowly looked up to meet Ryan's gaze. Ryan smiled back and quipped, "That means 'No'." The elder cleared his throat, face pale as he nodded and spoke in a low tone, "I... apologize for-"

 

Ryan exploded, "APOLOGIZE???"

 

Ryan's eyes grew wide as he gave the elder the glare that he reserved for breaking the will of raw recruits, "Why whatever for? What wrong against me did you commit that was worthy of an apology? I don't think there is anyone who could argue that by the laws, idioms, cultural norms, and rules of etiquette of the Dwarven race that anything 'wrong' happened to me."

 

Ryan tilted his head so far to the left it was almost at a ninety degree angle, "Tell me, GOOD SIR, did anyone PUNISH those children who beat me to a pulp and left me for dead in an alleyway?" Ryan brought his head upright, "No?" He twisted his head the other direction, "Did a single... solitary... dwarf ANYWHERE... shed a SINGLE TEAR... at the passing of my mother?" Again he brought his head upright, "No?" He scratched his chin thoughtfully, "Ah Well! Then those sorts of activities were CLEARLY behaviors endorsed, enforced, and sanctified by those who are the arbiters and gate keepers of that which is..." Ryan went up on the tips of his toes as he yelled at the cowering figure before him, "ACCEPTABLE!"

 

Ryan dropped down to the flats of his feet, "Vis a vi..." He rolled his hand in the air then pointed at the dwarf who was practically in tears, "You." Ryan smiled and brought his hands together, "Look. This has been real. Truly I can say without fear of contradiction that this has been by far the most interesting awards ceremony I have ever taken part in." He raised a finger, "However, I think at this point we are scaring the straights." He gestured to the audience, "And we all know how normal people dislike abnormal things..." He brought his hand to his chest, "like me."

 

Ryan walked up to the elder, slipped in beside him and put an arm around his shoulders. Ryan could feel him tense up, "So, how about this, old buddy, old pal, old chum, old friend of mine..." Ryan made a fist and pulled it back, "How about we just keep things they way they have been going, okay? You dwarves just keep on ignoring me. Don't give me the time of day. Don't talk to me. Don't interact with me. You just keep right on pretending I don't exist and that I am the social leper that you always thought I was..."

 

Ryan gently punched him in the shoulder, "And I will go right back to having nothing but a heart filled with apathy." Ryan tilted his head towards the elder and grinned, "Because I assure you. Just as soon as this conversation comes to an end... just as soon as this..." He gestured all around at the proceedings, "FARCE is over...I will forget everything. I won't... even... remember..." Ryan booped the Elder on the nose causing the elder to jump and shake.

 

 

"Anyone's name."