“And what did God have to say?”

 

Toshi answered his dad's question, “I should try listening more.” Hinako blinked, “God answered?” Toshi shrugged, “I think. God did the ‘mysterious ways’ thing.” Hirofumi pulled Toshi in close again to give a quick squeeze, “As long as you got an answer.”

 

Asuka seemed skeptical, but got a look of realization, “Soooo... Listen to us!” Toshi looked up. Asuka gestured around, “You are family.” Hinako nodded and pointed at Asuka, “Listen.” Toshi let out a short laugh and then sniffled. He rubbed his nose, then leaned into Hirofumi. His father patted the top of his head, “You know we want you as family." He took a deep breath then let the air out through his nose, "I think we proved we know the new Toshi a bit better than you thought.”

 

Hirofumi pushed his son away to look him in the eye, “The only piece left is, ‘Do you want to be a part of us?’” He gestured around the table, “All the evidence and all the words mean nothing if it’s not what you want. You have to want to be my son as much as I want to be your father.”

 

Toshi let out a short sob and covered his mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut tight. Everyone was silent for quite a while before Toshi got control of himself and nodded. He took his hand away and took a shuddering breath, “Yes. I feel… like I’m a thief, but I want to try. I feel so guilty. I have this desire to argue with all of you until you give up on me. As I say it out loud, it makes no sense, but it doesn't change how I feel.  If you can just… accept not all the parts are original, I’ll try and be the son you deserve.”

 

Hirofumi hugged tightly, “You know… if you think about it… everyone changes all the time. We get new ideas and forget old ones. Everyone is someone new all the time. Nobody you meet twice is ever the same.” He stroked Toshi’s hair, “What’s important is that you try to be better than you used to be. Family isn’t just blood. It's a connection that you have to maintain.” He looked up at his wife, “If you take it for granted, you can lose it.” Asuka bit her lip as Hirofumi looked back at Toshi, “It takes work, from both sides, and sometimes you just have to start over because like it or not…” He reached out to take Asuka’s hand and gave it a squeeze, “We’re all we got.”

 

Toshi took several deep breaths to compose himself, then nodded, “Okay.... Okay. We’re family and I don’t have to feel guilty about it. Right?” Everyone nodded. They agreed in unison.

 

Hirofumi gave Toshi a kiss on his forehead, “We alright now?” Toshi nodded. His father smiled and gave one last hug before letting go, “No more running off and scaring your mother half to death?” Asuka humphed and mumbled, “Concerned, not afraid.” Hirofumi looked up, “Sorry." He looked at Toshi, "Correction. No more concerning your mother half to death.” Asuka snorted. Everyone else grinned.

 

Toshi nodded meekly in agreement, “Yeah. Sorry. Naora really had me rattled.” Everyone tensed up.

 

Toshi looked around, “You know, not telling me about my dead sister or-” He gestured to Asuka, “Not telling me you are a police officer… it makes me feel like I’m on the outside.” His parents looked at each other deeply worried. Asuka spoke first, “The things you were saying in the hospital… it was…” She clicked her tongue, “You took Kimi’s death hard. You kept acting like you didn’t approve-" Hirofumi spoke softly, "You had taken to blaming the police force for what happened to your sister, and indirectly... mom."

 

Toshi blinked, “I did?” Hinako chimed in, “After Kimi’s death you came to hate mom for being a cop. You claimed she tricked Kimi into becoming one." She paused then squinted, "No. That's not the right word... 'Indoctrinated from birth' I think was the way you put it." Asuka spoke softly and with a tone heavy with guilt, "The way you were acting in the hospital…” Hirofumi nodded, “Maybe we were reading it wrong, but it seemed like you had a problem with your family 'acting' like cops. It seemed like a hold over from the way you were before and... We didn't want to stress you, so we all agreed to just not tell you.”

 

Asuka nodded, “It was selfish of me. I pushed the most for us to keep quiet about it. You can blame me. I just…” She closed her eyes and twisted her head to the side while making a fist, “Damnit, I was just-. I didn’t want you to remember Kimi and..." Toshi spoke softly as if he was having a dawning revelation,  "...remember how much I hated you.”

 

Toshi had a jolt go through his whole body as everything seemed to click, “Hold it.” His eyes flickered around the table, settling on his mother, “I hated you for my sister’s death.” He pointed at Hinako, “I wished you were dead instead of Kimi.” He looked at his father, “Dad, You lived with me. What was I like?” Hirofumi smiled nervously, “You were fine.” Toshi glared in a disbelieving fashion. Hirofumi kept smiling and eventually added, “Mostly.”

 

Toshi frowned with half closed eyes, “Mostly?”

 

Hirofumi waggled his head from side to side, “You were under a lot of pressure. You could sometimes… be... disagreeable?” Toshi’s lips all bunched up on one side of his face for a moment before he said, “I read my social media accounts before I closed them. In public I was all smiles and loved everyone, but my private DM history was atrocious. I didn’t delete any of it, because I thought I might want to read the rest of it some day, but what I did skim over was… well… nothing I want to repeat.”

 

Toshi leaned his head forward and looked up through his eyelashes at his father, while giving him puppy dog eyes, “Tell me the truth?”

 

Hirofumi resisted for all of three seconds before collapsing in on himself, “You were an out of control brat.” The other two looked surprised as his father continued, “You just kept getting worse and worse. You would have these outbursts, then you’d calm down and get it under control until you had a show. At the show, if anyone screwed up, In. The. SLIGHTEST... you bit their head off!” Toshi slowly nodded as his father continued, “I had no idea what to do. I didn’t know how to help you. Your mother was the one who knew how to keep you under control and I just couldn’t bring myself to hurt you any more than you already were.” He  took Toshi’s hands in his, “I’m sorry. You were in so much pain and I couldn’t help you.” Toshi pulled his hands back and put them over his father’s instead, “Dad... Maybe I was just a dick.”

 

Hirofumi’s eyes went wide.

Both his mother and sister made the surprised Pikachu face.

Hirofumi open palm slapped Toshi.

 

HARD.

 

Asuka leaped up to grab Hirofumi’s arm before he could slap Toshi again, “Hold it!” Hirofumi’s face was fuming, “I will NOT have my son saying such filthy language IN MY HOUSE!” Toshi wasn’t that hurt, but he was confused, “What? Because I said 'Dick'?” Hirofumi’s face went from red to purple as Asuka physically restrained her husband. Hinako grabbed Toshi and yanked him away from the table, “Toshi! What the Hell?”

 

Hirofumi was literally sputtering with rage as Asuka tried to calm him down, “He doesn’t know any better!” As she stood in between them, “Dear? Please?” Hirofumi broke away to stomp, yell, and wave his arms around as he tried to get himself under control. Hinako pulled back the confused Toshi to a safe distance and quickly explained, “Okay, the D-word? Don’t say that. That is offensive as HELL. Nobody says that word except for thugs and sailors.” She paused briefly before adding, "Or Australians."

 

Toshi looked at his sister like her head fell off, then suddenly exclaimed, “Oh! Like 'Cunt'?” Everyone stopped. Hirofumi just blinked. His mother and sister snickered. Asuka smirked, "Uh... no. Not even close." Hinako chuckled as she repeated the word to herself, "Cunt." His father took a deep breath and let it out slowly, “I’m Calm! I’m… Calm.” He rubbed his nose, “Sorry. I was just.. I felt like we were making so much progress and then you had to be… absolutely vile.”

 

Toshi held up his hands, “Sorry! I… just… thought it was the other way around. No saying the D-word.” He crossed his heart then held out his hand with his little finger extended to his dad, “Pinky swear.” Hirofumi rolled his eyes, then linked pinkies with his son, “Pinky swear.”

 

Everyone relaxed. Hinako laughed and lightly hit Toshi in the shoulder, “Holy Cow, you got a potty mouth on you, little brother!” Toshi rubbed where he got hit, “Sorry. I thought it wasn’t that big a deal.” Asuka said, "You shouldn't go around saying cunt, either." Hinako nodded in agreement, "It makes you sound like a five year old trying to be tough. Its slightly less intimidating then calling someone a poo-poo head meanie butt."

 

Hirofumi fell back down into his chair, “This has been exhausting.” He fanned himself with his hand. Asuka leaned in to hug Hirofumi from behind, “Although... I thought you liked it when I talked dirty to you.” Toshi took a step back, “ACK!” He covered his ears, “Too Much Info!” Hirofumi blushed, “Dear…” He lightly slapped at her arms around him, “Not in front of the kids!” Hinako made a face, “Ew. Don’t put that in my head.” Asuka looked up, “Oh please. Where do you two think you came from?” Toshi took another step back, “I’m not listening! La-La-La-La-La! I cannot hear you making my therapist rich! La-la-la-la-la!”

 

Everyone chuckled and eventually wound down. Toshi lowered his hands with a grin, obviously not as traumatized as he was letting on. But soon his smile faded, “I don’t want to harsh the buzz, but… at some point I want to hear about Kimi, about mom being a cop, and…” He took a deep breath, “I want you to tell me what I used to be like.”

 

Everyone grew quiet. Toshi held up a hand, “Not today. Dad is right. This has been exhausting.” He gestured off to the side, “Some point in the future. I think I got the gist of it.” Hinako shook her head, "No. You don't." Toshi looked quizzically at her.

 

Hinako looked Toshi dead in the eye, “When she was here, you were a different person. You both ganged up on me, since I was the middle child, but you were happier.” She cleared her throat, “You looked up to her, and admired her, and she was… amazing. She was a hell of a police officer. She was a hero in every sense of the word.”

 

Silence settled down over the kitchen. It was like even the clock was holding its breath.

 

“And the Terauchi family had her killed.”