"Who rules the world? Boys!"
"Who rules the world? Boys!"
"Who rules the world? Boys!"
"Who rules the world? Boys!"
"Who rules the world? Boys!"
"Who rules the world? Boys!"
"Who rules the world? Boys!"
"Who rules the world? Boys!"
"Who rules the world? Boys!"

The song on the radio was terrible on so many different levels.

Toshi was going out with 'the boys' to the mall to go shopping. Kenko had worn Toshi down and so he agreed to go. Kenko's mother was the one to pick up Toshi in their minivan. This also apparently included about another six boys on top of the two of them.

As they drove off to the mall, Kenko had control of the radio and guess what song was playing on the radio? If you guessed, 'Who rules the world?' by Honey Whitefox, you'd be correct. Toshi made a fist and dug his fingernails into his own palm as painfully as possible to try and control his reaction.

The Cringe Was Real.

Every other boy in the van was singing along, bouncing around, and in general acting like utter fools, as far as Toshi was concerned. Not only was the song repetitive in both lyrics and music, but it was apparently HIS song. He remembered reading about it. He wrote and recorded this one himself.

~Oh Dear God In Heaven, what sin have I committed to be forced to listen to this trash?~

Toshi didn't get an answer. What he did get to hear was the next song which wasn't by Honey Whitefox, but by another J-pop star. The song was titled: I'm gonna put it in your mouth.

As a sweet mercy, Toshi's mother turned off the radio. All the other boys in the van unleashed a joint, disappointing 'Awwwwwwww...'. Kenko whined to his mother, "But Moooommmmmmm... That's the cool new song from-" She cut him off, "That song is utter filth and I don't want you listening to it." Kenko rolled his eyes and whined, "It's just about a guy who is feeding his girlfriend lunch!"

Toshi couldn't help but blurt out, "It's about getting a blow job."

There was a moment of silence, then all the boys burst out giggling uncontrollably. Kenko's mom looked shocked and looked at Toshi in the rearview mirror. Kenko noticed this and leaned in to stage whisper to his mother, "Remember when I told you about Toshi's coma?" She nodded, then refocused on the road. There was a pause before she spoke, "Well, he's right. That's what the song is about and proper young boys shouldn't be singing such filth. No girl would want a boy with such a dirty mouth."

Kenko looked out the window at the mall as they turned into the parking lot. He spoke without really thinking about it, "I bet there are a bunch of girls who'd like a boy who talked dirty, but I doubt they are sort of girl I'd want to bring home to my parents." There was an awkward silence before Toshi continued, "I don't know which one would shoot her first, my sister or my mom."

Kenko's mom thought about it and nodded, "Damn straight." She hooked a thumb over her shoulder at Toshi and looked at Kenko, "You should listen to him. He talks sense. You need to find a girl I won't shoot." Some of the boys in the van rolled their eyes while the one sitting next to Toshi bumped shoulders with him, "Hey. You're doing it again."

Toshi looked away from the mall to look around at everyone. He let out an 'Ah' and nodded, "Sorry. My bad." The boys all giggled again as the van pulled up to the main entrance. The van doors opened up and the boys tumbled out, a few talking about where they wanted to go and the stores they wanted to visit. Someone mentioned that maybe they could catch the new feudal lord RomCom, except that Men's day was on Wednesday. Eizan mentioned, "We can still get the group discount."

Kenko sneered for a moment then shrugged, "I dunno, the trailers looked like it was kinda girly." One of the other boys shook his head, "Nah. My sister saw it and she actually complained about it being too romantic. So if she hates it, I bet it's good. However, she also said all the good scenes were in the trailer."

The crowd headed in and started to walk towards the food court. Apparently it was important to head to the food court first. There was a need to see who was there, and more importantly, a need to be seen by the people there. There was a pair of escalators up to the movie level above the food court, so it was a very busy place. As they passed a store Kenko called out, "Remember we have to come back here to fix Toshi."

Toshi blinked, "Fix? What am I? A cocker spaniel?" A few boys giggled. Kenko just laughed, "No. Your clothes. My god, it's a good thing you have to wear a uniform in school, because you dress like you rolled out of bed." Toshi looked down at his clothes, a basic T-shirt and blue jeans combination.

Toshi picked at his clothing, "What you talking about? This is the finest shirt my floordrobe had to offer." A boy looked at Toshi, "Floordrobe?" Toshi nodded, "Yeah, it's like a wardrobe, but you pile your clothes on the floor." The boy laughed for a second, but the laugher died away, "You're not joking, are you?" Toshi shook his head, "Nope. Don't see the point." Kenko huffed, "The point is wearing clothes that don't make you look like a Shar-pei."

Toshi laughed, "Heh. I gotta remember that one."

Eizan let out an 'Augh', "I hate you Toshi."

Toshi stopped dead, "What?" Eizan noticed Toshi stopped and looked back at him, "I mean you don't put forth any effort into looking good. You look like you just rolled out of bed and yet all the girls think you are so hot. I absolutely HATE you."

Toshi frowned, "I can't do anything about that." The entire group came to a halt and Eizan looked at Toshi a bit confused. Kenko gently bumped into Eizan, "He doesn't get it." Eizan looked at Kenko, then let out an 'oh', "What I mean is 'I am so jealous, hate you', not 'I hate you, hate you'."

Toshi furrowed his eyebrows, "You don't have to sugar coat it. It's okay to hate me, I just wish you had a better reason. I can't change who I am." Kazuo started looking concerned, "Toshi, it's not like that." Toshi shrugged, "It's fine. I'm used to it." Eizan blinked, "I... Look I'm just saying-" Toshi held up a hand, "It's cool."

Everything ground to a halt and everyone just looked at each other in awkward silence.

Toshi glanced about, "I was supposed to say something else other than what I said, wasn't I?" Eizan looked off, then back at Toshi, "I'm sorry. I keep forgetting-" He abruptly slapped his hand over his mouth when he realized what he said. Everyone looked utterly mortified by Eizan's poor choice in words. There was but a second of silence before Toshi let out a single bark of laughter, "HA! That's funny!" The group started to giggle as well. It was that nervous sort of laughter that only happens when everyone is really tense, but suddenly they have an excuse to laugh it off and move on.

Toshi stepped up to Eizan, "Seriously. I don't know what I'm doing. I honestly don't think I look that good. I know you guys keep telling me, but I just don't get it." He put a hand on Eizan's shoulder, "For what it's worth, yer cool in my book. You sure seem like a lady killer to me." Eizan blinked and looked away. He blushed and smiled at the unexpected compliment, "Really?" Toshi nodded, "Aren't you the only one with a steady girlfriend? You're doing something right." Eizan nodded, "I guess." Toshi slapped him on the back, "I bet you have to beat them off with a stick." Everyone snickered. Kenko shook his head as they all resumed heading into the food court, "No. That'd be you, Toshi."

Toshi stuck his hands in his pockets as they walked into the main area, "I... trust you guys. So I assume you are right, but I dunno. When I see myself in the mirror, I look too... weird. I sometimes wonder how I'm ever going to get a girlfriend." That's when a tall, willowy blond with a curvy figure burst into the middle of the group. She looked like a student from a private high school and couldn't have been more than seventeen.

She grabbed Toshi by the shoulders, screamed "Angel-Cakes!" and gave him a kiss hard enough to make his eyes pop out of his head.