"Oh. My. God. That looks so bad. Do you think it's going to leave a scar?"

 

Toshi was standing in the boys changing room before going out to swim. He actually enjoyed swimming and was glad the school offered it for the P.E. requirement. Of course, swimming got a bit more popular after Toshi joined the class. It took a while to get used to the rules of what you are allowed to wear while swimming.

 

The part that boggled Toshi the most was that everyone flipped out when he unbuttoned his shirt and rolled up his sleeves, but walking around bare-chested wearing only swim trunks was fine. Apparently it has to be swim trunks, specifically. Toshi was going to use speedos because they cut down on drag when you swim, but his father absolutely refused to let Toshi even buy a pair, so swim trunk it was. Later he would find out that it was also part of the school uniform code, of all things. Of course none of that applied inside the boy's locker room.

 

It took Toshi a long time to get used to all the casual nudity.

 

Toshi wondered if it was actually like this among women in his old world. Maybe the reason boys here have no problem getting nude in front of each other because that's what people THINK the reverse would be. Either way, it freaked Toshi out. He just couldn't take the way the boys have no problem running around naked, holding conversations without clothes, and even... HUGGING.

 

So. Much. Hugging.

 

Toshi was trying his best to fit in, but that was a line he was having problems crossing. The other boys were figuring out that he really didn't like touching, but some boys just couldn't remember. The funny thing is, it really doesn't mean anything. To all the boys here, it is such a casual thing, they don't even notice. It's as if everyone walked around wearing coats in bad weather. Nobody thinks about it, because everyone does it. It only stands out if someone DOESN'T wear a coat. Or in Toshi's reversed case, had an aversion to wearing coats, or being touched by someone wearing a coat.

 

The first time a naked boy saw Toshi and greeted him with a flying tackle hug, Toshi reflexively flipped the boy. Toshi felt awful because the boy started crying after getting laid out on the locker room floor. People gathered around and Toshi got a serious chewing out. Toshi didn't think he flipped the kid THAT hard. The problem was, the more attention the boy got, the worse his tears got. Toshi apologized and fortunately Kenko showed up to explain everything to the new guy. After that, people knew to ask first and Toshi, over time grew more tolerant of hugs. Well, as long as they happened while the person was clothed, that is.

 

Being in the middle of a crowd of mostly naked boys was pushing Toshi to the utmost limit of his tolerance.

 

At the current moment, everyone was gathered around looking at Toshi's back and making all sorts of noises indicating that they were both disgusted and sympathetic. Toshi had a great, big, square blotch across his back where his ToughTop valiantly gave its life so that Toshi could live. Toshi was sure to pray and thank god for giving him the computer in the first place. Toshi didn't get a reply. Toshi wasn't expecting one, since this whole situation raised a number of questions Toshi was sure God didn't  want to answer. Toshi didn't understand what God meant when he said, 'I'll be gone for a while', but it was clear that Toshi should not expect answers any time soon.

 

God obviously had foreseen this coming. Seeing into the future, that's sort of the thing you would expect from God. Toshi was more concerned by the implications. Was it set in stone? Could God have warned him? Did God do what he did to make sure Toshi survived, or did he do it because he had to? Would warning him have changed things? God did say, 'You aren't bulletproof'. Did Toshi have free will or was his destiny already decided? Toshi was leaning towards free will, but then there was the issue with the Serendipity kicking in.

 

The obvious question to ask would be, 'Was the other Naora dead?' Toshi sadly leaned towards 'yes'. The more he thought about it, the more disturbed he became. If she was dead, would the world keep trying to  'equalize'? Was she safe after being saved only once? Was serendipity going to continue to try and kill her? Toshi couldn't watch her twenty four seven. Could he only postpone her passing? There was the possibility this was one and done. Toshi resolved to try and keep an eye on her, either way. He'd saved her life and now he felt obligated to try and keep her alive.

 

If serendipity works the way it does because of the expectations of the source of mana for this world, would Toshi's expectations manipulate serendipity differently? God had told him that things would get increasingly strange for him. That gave the implication that Toshi was affecting this 'force' as well. Would Toshi start finding himself in the 'right place and right time' depending on what Toshi wanted? Toshi was just as likely to get shot in the head as his back. He just happened to wear his backpack instead of carry it.

 

Would this be something Toshi could control? Was he just going to be, for lack of a better term, 'Lucky'? If Toshi wanted to keep Naora alive, would he find himself where he needed to be to save her? What about this flipside? All this has a dark implication. What if Toshi started to hate someone? What if Toshi... 'wished'... someone dead? Would the world manipulate events to get rid of that person? Would Toshi have to keep his emotions under control? Could his stray thoughts change the world? Would it rain if he got sad? Would people prosper if he was happy? God should have explained all this, but he didn't. He can see the future, so he should have known Toshi would want these answers. Therefore God purposely left Toshi in the dark for some reason. Was it a good reason? God wasn't above lying. He'll lie again. Maybe god didn't explain all this because it would change things and this path is the best possible outcome. Toshi could just be better off figuring it out on his own.

 

Or maybe God is a flake.

 

All these heavy thoughts made for one distracted Toshi.

 

Kenko snapped his fingers in front of Toshi's face, "Hey! You awake?" Toshi blinked and looked around. He was standing in front of his locker with the door open as he was in the process of changing. The group of boys who had gathered around to look at Toshi's back were interrogating him. They were also touching him way too much and it was taking a zen-like trance for Toshi to allow it to happen without just screaming and forcing himself out of the crowd to safety.

 

Kenko noticed Toshi was reaching his limit and seemed concerned, "You know, swimming while you aren't totally one hundred percent isn't a good idea. You might-" Toshi cut him off, "Actually, my back feels so much better when I run cool water over it, so I REALLY want to go swimming." Eizan looked sympathetic, "I get it, but maybe you should reconsider." He reached out to point at Toshi's forehead, "The chlorine has been murder on your hair."

 

Toshi looked at Eizan, "Huh? I haven't actually gotten to swim in a while." Kenko looked a little confused, "Toshi, your hair has just been so dry and lifeless lately. I assumed it was the chlorine. What conditioner have you been using?" Toshi blinked, "Conditioner?" He thought a bit, "Oh. You mean, for my hair? I don't know." Eizan looked worried, "Uh, you are using onditioner, right?" Toshi nodded, "Oh yeah. When we moved I found I had like, twenty bottles of shampoo and conditioner and stuff for my hair, but the bottles were, at most, a quarter full."

 

Toshi motioned like he was holding something big, "So I got this big industrial sized pump bottle from General Store. They sell empty ones, ya know?" He then motioned like he was pouring something, "So I poured all the shampoo, conditioner, body lotion and what not into it." He motioned like he was shaking the bottle, "It keeps separating, but if you shake it up before you pump it, it mixes up okay." A few boys started laughing, but the laughter died away. Kenko looked over his shoulder at the one who laughed the hardest, "It's not funny." The boy frowned, "He's... he's joking... right?"

 

Eizan looked absolutely horrified. If you flayed a baby alive in front of him, he wouldn't have looked half as horrified as he looked right now, "Toshi. Tell me that's not true. Tell me you haven't been putting... THAT ... in your hair?" Toshi nervously touched the back of his head, "What's wrong? There's conditioner in it." His eyes darted about to judge people's reactions, "...somewhere." Kenko covered his mouth and looked at Toshi with a combination of shock and pity. Eizan gingerly, hesitantly, and with a trembling hand, reached out to touch Toshi's hair, "It's not your fault. I'm sorry. Don't blame him. He didn't know any better." Eizan expression filled with a huge up swell of pity as he rolled a lock in between his fingers, "Don't worry, Toshi's hair. We'll save you. We've finally heard your cries of anguish and your pain will come to an end."

 

Toshi took a step back while covering his head with one hand, "Why are you talking to my hair?" Kenko snorted and tried to keep from laughing by covering his mouth. Eizan looked at Kenko, "THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" He turned back to Toshi's hair, "I think we can save it. But if we can't, we must end it's suffering mercifully." Toshi took another step back, "Mercifully?" Eizan looked at Toshi and spoke dead-pan, "We'll have to take your hair out back and have it shot." Kenko frowned. With the back of his hand, he hit Eizan in the arm, "Dude! Too soon!" Eizan confusedly furrowed his eyebrows, then arched them high as he realized what he had said. He winced as he turned back to Toshi, "Oh shit! I forgot! I'm sorry."

 

Toshi did his best to look serious as he dead-panned his response, "Wait. Do you think they weren't trying to kill Naora, but were trying to shoot my hair?" Eizan blinked HARD. He started to try and explain it, but Toshi couldn't keep a straight face and started to sputter as he grinned. Eizan pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes at Toshi when it became clear he was being played. Abruptly everyone started laughing. However, just as Toshi was going to say something to keep the joke going, there was a loud noise. Someone dropped something somewhere in the locker room. This resulted in a sharp 'Bang' as metal hit metal.

 

Toshi practically jumped out of his skin and tried to hide in his locker.

 

Everyone went silent and stared. Toshi realized what happened and immediately relaxed as he let out a 'whew'. It was telling, however, that he was still trembling. The boys who were laughing but moments before, all universally were a mixture of worry, sympathy, and pity. Toshi laughed nervously as he climbed out. He ran his fingers through his hair, "Sorry. I thought someone was coming for my follicles." He fell back to using his well practiced smile that was not a smile as he tried to play his reaction off.

 

Kenko stepped closer to touch Toshi's arm, "Toshi, It's okay. You're-" Toshi batted the hand away reflexively and spat words in Kenko's face "I'm fine!" Toshi paused then lowered his voice and spoke in a normal tone, "I am fine. Really. I'm... just a bit jumpy. That's all." Kenko slowly withdrew his hand, "No. You aren't." He let his hand drop, "Toshi, you always do this. You always say your fine when you aren't. You never complain. You have that..." He pointed at Toshi's face, "Damn fake smile of yours!" He stepped up and grabbed Toshi by both shoulders, "It is okay to not be okay!" He bent his knees slightly so he could look up at Toshi, "We're your friends! You can talk to us!"

 

Toshi tensed up, looking uncomfortable at being held. He tried to avoid looking Kenko in the eyes, but that was difficult, considering how Kenko was positioning himself. It didn't help that Kenko was in his underwear. Eizan frowned as he stepped closer to back up Kenko, "Toshi, he's right. You need to open up. Bottling this all up... it's not normal!" Toshi stood there for a good five seconds, then abruptly shrugged off Kenko's grip and backed away, "I can't! Okay!" Toshi held up his hands defensively as he half turned away and averted his eyes, "I don't work like that! I can't function like that! I can only do one thing at a time. Having 'feelings' is a thing. I can't do that and anything else at the same time. If I start talking about how I feel that's the ONLY thing I can do and..." Toshi took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he forced himself to relax. He lowered his hands, "If I try and deal with this crap, I'll completely fall apart." Kenko looked like he wanted to reach out for Toshi, but was afraid it would only make things worse. The majority of those watching the unfolding drama looked on without comment.

 

Toshi turned away, then turned back, then away and back again as he tried to sort out his thoughts.

 

He started talking to everyone in general, "You know, I've been asked 'Oh god, Toshi. I would have been so scared! How did you do it?' And the truth is, I wasn't scared. I didn't feel anything at all." He started making sharp hand gestures as he spoke, "I saw Naora. I saw the car. I saw the gun. I knew I was the only one who could act. I saved her." He raised his hand and brought it down sharply, "At no point did I have  second of doubt or hesitation because I didn't have TIME." He held out his hands as is they were scales and he was comparing weight, "I can't DO something and FEEL at the same time."

 

"When did I feel something?" Toshi pointed at the ground at his feet, "Afterwards. After it was all over and I was alone in the hospital I finally had time to realize just how stupid I was and how close I came to dying and THAT was when I was terrified!" He pointed towards the exit, "Lying in my hospital bed, I had all the time in the world to be scared. That was right up until I got discharged." He brought his hands together to make a box, "So I put all that crap in a box. It is in this box because if I let it out, everything comes out. I need this box because I have to live. I need to do things. I have to walk, and talk, and... breathe and I can't DO that if I open this stupid BOX."

 

He ran both hands through his hair, "I'm sorry. I just... I can't function like that." He started pointing at a series of invisible things in a line in front of him, "I have what's in front of me. I deal with that, then the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing, and the next, over and over." He made a sweeping gesture like he was knocking his invisible thing right off a table, "I don't have TIME for this feelings crap!" He motioned to his stomach, "I take my feelings and I push them down until they become an ulcer. That's how I handle my feelings, okay?"

 

The group was silent. Toshi stood there as the silence became awkward. He let out a sigh, "I know it's not healthy, but it's what I have to do to FUNCTION, Okay?" The group remained quiet until Kenko finally spoke, "Alright." His expression was reserved as he tried to be as comforting as possible, "You know we're here if you need us, right?" Toshi nodded as he avoided looking at Kenko, "Yup. And knowing that means a lot. Knowing I could talk to you if I want to means I don't NEED to... at least today." He glanced up at Kenko, "I'm sorry. You're a good friend and I don't treat you well."

 

Kenko shook his head, "Sorry for what? That you're screwed up?" He gestured around, "News Flash! We all are." Everyone started nodding to that statement, "We just usually feel better if we know there's someone who cares. We want to care, Toshi. You just... never open up. Ever. And I get it, it's how you... function. It just seems like... like..." Eizan jumped in, "It seems like you are hurting and you won't let anyone help." Kenko nodded and pointed at Eizan, "Yeah. That."

 

Toshi thought about this, "If it helps, I feel better just knowing that you care." He paused then looked at Kenko, "Annnnd... if I ever do need to talk, you'll be the first I turn to. Deal?" Kenko's lips scrunched up to one side, "Well... okay." Toshi looked around a bit, then said, "Look. I..." He paused then spread his arms out, "Should we do a group hug or something?" Everyone chuckled a little. Kenko abruptly gave Toshi a hug. Eizan quickly followed, and then everyone else jumped in for a group hug. Some giggling and laughter was had, and then everyone relaxed.

 

For Toshi, this group hug from a group of mostly naked boys would become the single most uncomfortable moment in his life.

 

Kenko pulled away, then lightly hit Toshi in the shoulder, "C'mon 'hero'. I'm sure everyone else wants to see your back and then tell you how bad it looks." Toshi peered over his shoulder, "I actually kinda like it. Makes me look all badass." Eizan smacked his forehead, "God help me!" He dragged his hand down his face as he glared at Toshi, "If you actually think that looks good, no wonder your hair has been looking like a rat's nest lately." Toshi looked worried, "Rat's nest?" Kenko nodded, "But don't worry. Right after class, we'll explain what conditioner is and how you use it." Toshi winced a little, "I think I would rather talk about my feelings."

 

Everyone chuckled.

 

Toshi turned and finished getting changed. The group dispersed and it was just the three of them. Toshi suddenly had a odd thought and turned towards Kenko, "Hey. You know, do you know you never share anything with me? I get it that your life might be free of 'big concerns', but if it's not, you don't really talk about your own problems. Everything you share is, sort of trivial." He shrugged, "Not complaining. I'm just observing. You talk a lot, but you don't really vent anything big." Kenko paused as he was pulling up his swim trunks, "I don't?" Toshi just shrugged, "Just saying. No biggie." Kenko slowly hung his shirt up in his locker, "Huh. I guess I don't. What would be the biggest worry in my life right now?" He thought about it before he snapped his fingers,  "Oh! I've been thinking of turning gay."

 

Toshi froze while putting his shoes in his locker, "wut?"

 

Eizan looked over and asked in a casual tone, "Full on gay or just bisexual?" Kenko thought for a second, "Bi, actually. I still like girls. But I dunno, boys dating boys is trending on YouBook, and being bi seems to be great for your analytics." Eizan nodded and waggled his head from side to side, "I hear that's become very popular lately. I'd worry if this is just a trend. I mean, it's definitely acceptable in college, but I dunno if it's got enough staying power when you are still in high school." Toshi snapped his head around to glare at Eizan, "What do you mean... POPULAR?" Eizan looked back, "Oh? You haven't- Oh right." He snapped his fingers, "You need to read more magazines. The latest trend among the beautiful people is bisexuality, but gay is still trending, but not as hot."

 

Kenko nodded as he explained, "Oh yeah. All the popular stars are bisexual. You can hardly check your Tweeter feed without seeing someone announce their sexual orientation. It's why I've been thinking about it." He paused then spoke with a hint of lamination to his tone, "Its tough being one of the 'in crowd'. We always have to stay on top of things like this. You can't be seen as a Johnny come lately." He looked glum as he hung his head, "Its so hard trying to figure out what's a flash in the pan and what is going to actually become popular." Eizan stepped up to Kenko to give him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, "We've all been there."

 

Toshi's expression darkened, "You don't just change your sexuality on a whim." Kenko nodded, "I know!  That's why I've been giving it a lot of thought." Toshi snorted, "It is something you are or you aren't. You are gay, or you aren't. You are bi, or you aren't. It isn't like a HAT. You can't be bi just because it's trending!" Kenko squinted at Toshi, "Uh... All the popular stars would disagree with you." He looked at the ceiling and tapped his chin with one finger, "What was the last major star to make a big deal about it?" He snapped his fingers, "Honey Whitefox!" Kenko looked at Toshi, "He had an interview. He turned bi right before he disappeared." He gestured towards Toshi with a flat hand as if giving something, "There you go! Honey Whitefox turned bi. So it does happens."

 

Eizan stared off into the distance thoughtfully, "I wonder if the two are related?" He snapped his fingers, "Hey! I bet that's it! Whitefox must have bet some guy and fell in love and wanted to get out of the business because of the stress!" Eizan looked wistfully at nothing in particular, "Gosh, if that was true, it would be so romantic." Kenko curled his upper lip, "I dunno. I've been researching it. Gay couples have some big issues. They have a much higher instance of domestic violence then other couples. They also have lousy love lives. I think they call is Gay Bed Death, or something like that." He raised a finger, "Fun fact, lesbians are the most mellow of couples."

 

The whole time, Toshi got more and more annoyed. He glared at Kenko, "Honey Whitefox is not gay. He is NOT bisexual. He's het. Honey Whitefox is straight as a goddamn arrow." Eizan looked thoughtful, "Uh... no. No, I remember reading about that in a magazine somewhere. He gave some inter-"

 

Toshi stalked over to Eizan and slammed his hand flat against the locker next to Eizan. Toshi leaned in close, "Honey. Fuckin'. Whitefox. Is. Not. GAY." Everyone tensed up. Eizan just stared at Toshi, "Uhhh... Okay." Toshi narrowed his eyes, "Ruri introduced me to the guy once. He's very private. I didn't pry, but it was fuckin' clear to anyone with eyes that he was STRAIGHT. Anything you heard otherwise was something from that slimey bitch of a manager he had! Just PR bullshit, NOTHING. MORE." Eizan smiled nervously, "Whatever you say, Toshi." Toshi pulled away and stabbed a finger at Kenko, "Don't trivialize this. If you are gay or bi, sure, I'll support you. But if you are just changing your sexuality because..." His voice started to drip sarcasm, "Just Because All The Kewl Kids Are Doing It!" Toshi paused to get himself under control. He continued in a far more controlled tone, "Thanks for talking about this with me. If you are going to be bi, just because it's trending, I will lose all respect for you. Be yourself. Whomever that is. I happen to like Kenko as is. Be Kenko. If you don't know who that is, figure it out before you start make sweeping changes like... THAT."

 

Kenko looked a little offended, but also a little thoughtful, "Uhhh... Okay." He closed his locker, "I never thought about it that way. I guess, I should figure out who I am first, before I worry about who I'm supposed to be attracted to." Toshi stood uncomfortably for a few moments, then gave Kenko a pat on the shoulder, "Don't trivialize this, but whatever you HONESTLY are, I'm behind you." He paused then added, "Figuratively." He clicked his tongue, "Because I'm straight and nothing is going in my ass. EVER." He gave Kenko one more pat, "I love me the pussy." This made Eizan and Kenko chuckle.

 

Kenko smirked, "You talk so weird."

 

The three headed off to the pool.