"You'd better not be about to say 'I'm Sorry'."

 

 

 

 

Madoka and Toshi sat on the bench long enough for one of the zoo employees to come over and check on them. The employee quietly stepped around the tree to catch Madoka's attention. He made a concerned expression and Madoka shook her head slightly to indicate that they were fine. The employee made the okay hand gesture and walked off. All Madoka did was hold Toshi while he had his very subdued breakdown and occasionally stroked the bunny. Toshi finally calmed down right around the time when the rabbit finally leaped out of his lap to go scampering off. He was opening his mouth to take a breath when Madoka cut him off with her preemptive admonishment.

 

Instead he said nothing. Madoka continued, "I'm assuming that's what you are going to say. Or something along those lines. Something about how you ruined the date or some such nonsense and blah blah blah which is based on the assumption you ruined the date."

 

Toshi kept leaning on Madoka's shoulder for a few moments more, thinking about what she said before he finally spoke, "Didn't I?"

 

"Ruin the date?" Madoka pulled her head back a bit so she could look down at Toshi, "I don't consider it ruined. Got to go to the zoo... spent some time with a cute guy... got to pet the bunnies..." She paused before adding, "Got a history lesson on chairs." Toshi snorted in amusement at that last line. Madoka gently caressed the top of Toshi's head, "That's a good sign."

 

Toshi straightened up, rubbed his face, then leaned forward to put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, "I'm so embarrassed."

 

"Only three people came by to record a video of you and upload it to the internet." Toshi looked at Madoka out of the corner of his eye. Madoka added, "And one news reporter." She held up a hand, "I believe tomorrow's headline will read..." She slowly moved her hand across the air between them, "Breaking News! Toshi is human!"

 

Toshi frowned and turned away, keeping his gaze towards the ground as he shaded his eyes, "Not funny."

 

Madoka shrugged and looked sheepish, "Sorry. Trying to be." She leaned forward so she could look up at Toshi from below, "And, it's news to me."

 

Toshi peeked at Madoka from under his fingers, "That I'm human?"

 

Madoka nodded and straightened up, "Yeah. From over here you are like this... monolith. This dispassionate ice king who never shows any emotions. You are calm, cool, collected, and utterly expressionless." She jogged her head to the side indicating the entrance to the zoo, "I'm used to my father who is an expert in guilting me into doing things for him." She rolled a hand in the air, "Or boys pouting to get their way." She glanced over her shoulder and muttered, "Frickin' Kingo has figured out how to weaponize tears, I tell you."

 

Toshi thought about it, then straightened up, "Boys cry a lot?"

 

Madoka squinted and opened her mouth, then immediately covered it with her hand. She looked away, "Sorry. I was going to say something sarcastic." She looked back and folded her hands, "Yes. It's a genetic thing. Women have this inborn instinct to... well... mother. We see children and want to protect them. We see tears and we want to make them go away." She pointed both index fingers at herself, then at Toshi, "We love men. We do. I know there is all this crap out there about how men have to worry about being oppressed and stuff, which does happen and has happened, but the vast majority of women just... love men."

 

Toshi sighed, "So men take advantage of that."

 

Madoka squinted, "You make it sound sinister." She reached out to pat him on the knee, "What? You never helped someone who was feeling bad?"

Toshi blinked, "Uh... sure I have."

 

She nodded, "Feels nice, huh?" Toshi nodded. Madoka held up both hands, palms up, "Well, girls like helping boys. I mean..." She looked at the ground, "I'm not claiming we're all saints. Some girls do it and expect things in return." She looked away, then back to Toshi, "My mom explained it like this. There are good girls and nice girls. A good girl does the right thing because it's the right thing to do. A nice girl does the right thing because it's a transaction. You now owe her." Madoka nodded slowly as if remembering a past event that confirmed her mother's advice, "A nice girl then expects something in return. When she doesn't get it... she stops being nice and feels like she was cheated, even if the transaction was only in her mind."

 

Toshi sniffed and rubbed his nose as he thought, "That's... profound."

 

Madoka nodded, "I lucked out with mom." They both just sat there in silence. The sounds of the zoo drifted over the both of them as the leaves overhead rustled in the light wind. This caused the shadows around them to flicker and shift in a mosaic across the hard-packed earth. Madoka broke the silence first, "Want to hear something embarrassing?"

 

Toshi looked up, "About you?"

She nodded, "About me."

He shrugged, "Okay. Sure."

 

Madoka leaned in close, cupped a hand to her mouth, and whispered into Toshi's ear, "I want to be a veterinarian."

 

Toshi quirked an eyebrow as Madoka leaned back and stretched her arms out along the top of the bench, "Yup. Silly, huh?"

 

Toshi eyed Madoka, "People find that silly?" He scrunched up his nose with confusion, "I don't think that's silly."

 

Madoka snorted and smirked, "You'd be the first." She looked off out over the fence to the rest of the zoo, "Guys are vets. Guys handle animals. Girls aren't vets. They're doctors or something like that." She looked back at Toshi, "You know you have to go through MORE schooling than a doctor to become a vet?"

Toshi shook his head, "No I did not."

 

She nodded, "And there aren't a lot of schools for vets. If you want to go to the best, you have to go to America."

 

Toshi thought about that before asking, "Are you going to do that when you graduate?"

 

Madoka looked out over the fence again, "I wish. Oh, I got the grades... maybe I'll get a sports scholarship, but chances are I won't have enough money." She glanced back at Toshi, "Mom wants me to be a doctor, like her."

 

Toshi nodded, "If you had the money, would you do it?"

She gave Toshi a harsh look, "Duh. In a heartbeat." She looked away, "Sort of why I haven't been dating. It'd have to be a guy who is willing to move to America and wait the twelve years it would take for me to even BEGIN my practice."

 

Toshi responded in English, [Do you need to learn English?] Madoka responded, [I am get more good with it.] Then she looked surprised, "Wait a sec... I didn't know you spoke English. You're good at it. You sound rather fluent"

 

Toshi shrugged, "Eh. If you need someone to practice with, let me know."

 

Madoka's face went blank as she stared at Toshi. He stared back. Eventually, he looked away, "What?"

She looked away as well, "You don't fight fair."

Toshi glanced back, "Huh?"

Madoka smiled and laughed softly, "Never mind."

Toshi frowned, "Uhhh... no. Explain." There was a long pause, "Please?"

 

Madoka stared back for quite a while before she shrugged, "Okay. You asked for it." She started counting on her fingers, "You don't just know baseball, but can play it. You are easy to talk to. You aren't a manipulative bastard. You paid for the food and didn't expect me to cover for it. You like animals. And..." She looked away, "You're wounded."

 

Toshi looked surprised, "Excuse me?" Madoka glanced back, "You have this sadness about you, like you're broken, but you have too much pride to admit it. You're this beautiful, wounded stag who refuses to be caught... who rather die than show any weakness." Madoka bit her lower lip and smiled ruefully, "And I think I already made it clear that I want to be a healer." She looked at her hands, "And then you tell me you can speak English. Your sister raves about your grades. You're good enough to get into Cornell... in America."

 

Toshi's eyes slowly grew wider as he listened. When Madoka finished, all Toshi could say was, "Oh."

 

She nodded and kept looking at her hands, "Oh."

 

Toshi nodded slowly, "I guess I don't fight fair." He looked down at the ground, "Didn't even know I was fighting."

 

Madoka let out a bark of laughter and covered her mouth as she grinned at Toshi, "Yeah... that's part of your charm. You aren't even trying." Her smile abruptly faded, "I think I need to get you back home."

 

Madoka stood up.

 

Toshi looked a little confused at the sudden change in the atmosphere, "Uh... any particular reason?"

 

Madoka looked down at Toshi, with just a hint of fear in her eyes. She offered a hand to Toshi to help him stand. He took it and allowed her to pull him to his feet. Madoka held onto his hand for far longer than she should, slowly caressing Toshi's fingers before abruptly letting go with an announcement.

 

"It's getting late."

 

She turned and started walking off, saying nothing else, and walking a hint too fast to hold a conversation. A short time later, they arrived at the parking lot and got into the car that she borrowed from her mom for the date. As she fumbled to put the keys in the ignition, Toshi reached over to put his hand over hers, "Whoa. One sec."

 

She stopped, but didn't look at him, "What?"

 

Toshi slowly let go, "Did I do something?"

 

Madoka shook her head and quickly replied, "Nope. Nothing at all."

 

Toshi looked at her for a while, then looked out the windshield, "If you don't want to explain, it's okay."

 

Madoka closed her eyes. She reached back up to start the car but stopped. She sat there a while before she finally spoke, "Look. I'm good at fixing things, and helping people, and being part of the team, and making sure everyone around me is good. I like that. I like being in control. I like being the shoulder to cry on. It drove my mom nuts the way I would bring home wounded animals. I found a half-dead, nearly frozen baby squirrel when I was going to school back in elementary school. I kept it in my backpack most of the morning trying to save it until the teacher wondered why I kept looking in my backpack. She freaked, mom was called, and I wound up spending the next three months raising a squirrel in my bedroom."

 

Toshi slowly turned to look back at Madoka. He sat there, listening quietly.

 

"It would escape from the cage and tear up my room. I was the only one who could get it back in the cage. Eventually, I had to let it go. I was sad, but I knew I did well. So I made a little compartment." She tapped her chest over her heart, "One side of my heart is for me, the other side is for helping and then letting go." She nodded for a bit, then abruptly made a fist and pounded her heart once with a hard thud, "This." She looked at Toshi out of the corner of her eye, "I don't deal well with this. I deal well with everyone else's pain but-" She looked away, "I only let things into this side, never the other side, because only on the other side can I get hurt."

 

Toshi nodded slowly, "I... know the feeling."

 

Madoka nodded, "Oh yeah. I get that. I get it so well. I have this feeling that you understand me... very well." She swallowed, "I'm not prepared to have anyone in my life. I thought I was just taking you out to help you adjust. To re-learn how to socialize. It was a favor." She glanced back at Toshi, "I think you might be the first guy I ever met who might... understand me. If that makes-"

 

Toshi cut her off by taking her hand and squeezing it. Madoka looked down at his hand and then up into his eyes. He was smiling back, "I get it. I do. I understand entirely." He brought her hand up to his mouth, "Thank you for talking with me about all this heavy stuff. Thank you for helping me to sort myself out. Thank you for helping me to relax." He gently kissed her knuckles. She took in a sharp breath as he did, surprised at how fast her heart was beating.

 

 

 

 

"Thank you..."

 

 

 

 

 

"For a fun date."