"You're right. I don't believe you."

 

 

 

Toshi shrugged, "Told you." He picked at his dress shirt that had been torn open, "I assume you don't know where most of my buttons went." Sliding to the floor, he began to look around the room.

Mieko stared at the top of his head, seemingly unable to accept the abrupt way the topic was dropped, "Why would you say that?"

Toshi picked up a button, "I dunno. Just an educated guess. I've been told the uterus isn't a homing device."

Mieko squinted, "What? That old joke- never mind. I was talking about you claiming to talk to god."

Toshi didn't bother looking up, "Look. You don't believe me, so drop it." He gestured at her, "And you might want to get some clothes on."

Mieko watched Toshi while he continued his search, then abruptly got up and went to her closet. While she pulled on a pair of jeans followed up with a blue t-shirt. Toshi tried not to watch, but couldn't help himself.

"Going commando. Bold choice."

Mieko snapped her head around, “What did you say?"

"Just being sarcastic."

She stood there staring at him, then slowly rolled a hand in the air, "What do you mean you met God?"

Toshi looked up from the foot of the bed, and gave her a flat look with his lips pressed together. He shuffled around to the end of the bed on his knees while he talked, "Nobody ever asks me what drug I was allergic to. The one that killed me."

Mieko cocked her head at the seemingly random statement.

Toshi took out the porn he tried to hide under the mattress, "It was rohypnol." Mieko's eyes went wide as Toshi flipped through the hentai, "Happened at the first concert of the tour." He held up the issue of Celebrity Rape Island towards her, "My Stage name was Honey Whitefox."

Mieko just slowly shook her head, "Why... why do you keep lying like this? Why are you..."

Toshi flicked the back of the manga with a finger, "I checked the date. It was about two weeks after my rape, so I assume the rumor got out and someone jumped on it." Mieko tried to speak, but Toshi didn't let her, "Crap like this?" He waved it about, "Doesn't even phase me anymore." He got up to walk over to her and push it into her hands, "This is just another Tuesday."

All color drained from Mieko's face as she stared at the booklet in her hands, "No. No. This... This is insane. This..."

"God said I'd have to put up with a really strange life. He said things were going to get weird." She looked up at him seemingly unable to accept . He smiled back, "Nothing surprises me anymore. I've..." He chuckled, "like the song says, I've become comfortably numb."

"What song?"

Toshi blinked, "Pink Floyd?" Then waved his hand dismissively, "Never mind." He went back to searching for buttons, "I guess my point is, stop freaking out and just roll with the madness." He spotted another button and picked it up, "It's what I do."

She staggered over to sit at her desk by the closet. She couldn't look at Toshi as she spoke, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For jilling off to this. This..." She looked up at him, but couldn't quite meet his gaze, "I imagined... doing..."

Toshi snorted, "Love to hear about it sometime, but I don't think now is the time."

Mieko's jaw dropped open.

Scratching his eyebrow, he seemed to hesitate, but eventually said, "Fuck it." He looked right at her, "I'm from a parallel earth. I died over there, and some how wound up in this world's heaven face to face with your God who said there was some sort of accident." He looked up, "He gave me an option to start over in this world because it was, and I quote, 'Seemed basically the same'."

Toshi walked over to flick the porn in her hand, "In my world the men are the sexually aggressive ones." He smirked, "I have... well... HAD a collection of porn to put this to shame."

"Some fairly vile stuff, actually. I enjoy submissive women, putting them in their place, but..." He looked into the distance, "I've come to realize I don't enjoy their suffering. I enjoy their submission and they have to be into it. Actually forcing a woman against her will is revolting."

"If I actually saw a woman being raped, I think I would completely lose my shit and beat the man in question to death with my bare hands."

Mieko blinked at him the asked, "Is... that why you always get everything backwards?"

"Yeah. It’s actually why I wanted to take you out on a date and pay for everything. I wanted to have a normal date and... you looked like the kind that would put up with it."

She let out a bitter laugh, "Doesn't look like either of us thought this was a normal date!"

Toshi chuckled softly, "Yeah... I guess that's true." He took a deep breath through his nose before he continued, "You know why I'm so calm about everything that happened? Because I can tell you know the difference between fantasy and reality."

Mieko quirked an eyebrow.

"The fantasy is great, but in reality if a guy actually was put through this crap." He taped CRI, "How would you feel?"

She rolled it up into a tube, "I'd... want to save him."

"We're the same. It's how I knew what to say to get you to second guess what you were doing and why it just doesn't bother me... because if you did... it... I rather think I would have enjoyed it." Mieko was about to say something when he cut her off, "Would you like it if the situation was reversed? If I was the one who said, 'you owe me' while trying to fuck your brains out?"

She had a funny look on her face, "Only perverts would enjoy THAT. But I suppose I... wouldn't mind."

"There's a part of me that wishes I had let you, so I could enjoy it, while I could claim to be blameless." He looked regretfully at the floor, "But the truth is you clearly weren't in your right mind and the very thought of taking advantage of you in that state turns my stomach." He looked back up, "We both would have regretted it afterwards, so I suppose it's best it didn't happen."

He pushed off the desk to resume looking for buttons, "Hell. I regret what I did because, in the end, I did take advantage of you."

Mieko rubbed her forehead, "I don't quite understand. How could you enjoy..." Her voice trailed off.

"Eating you out?" He smirked, "I'm sorry, but don't girls take pride in how satisfied their men are in this world?" He straightened up, "Considering how much you screamed into that pillow, I suspect I did a job I could be proud of!"

Mieko sat there in silence, thinking. Eventually, without saying a word, she helped Toshi find his remaining buttons. They wound up sitting on her bed.

Toshi looked to Mieko, "Can I borrow a needle and thread?"

"What?"

"Needle and thread?"

"Do I look like I took Home-Ec?" Toshi furrowed his eyebrows then realized his assumption, "Ah. Right." He looked around the room, then at the buttons in his hand, "Here guys sew."

Mieko pressed two fingers against her forehead and was clearly getting annoyed, "I'm getting a headache, right here."

Toshi took off his dress shirt to remove his shredded undershirt.

Mieko looked away, "Can you warn me?"

Toshi tossed the undershirt into a wastebasket and pulled his dress shirt back on, tucking it into his pants to try and keep it as closed as possible, "Why? I don't care."

Mieko smacked her forehead, "You should care! What will everyone think? Oh God how are you going to get home? I need to get you a new shirt and everything I got is too small.

"Honestly, I can't understand the rules here at all. They make no sense. Topless is okay, but only if swimming." He continued talking as he walked into the bathroom leaving the door open, "Short sleeves are fine, but long sleeves rolled up is slutty. Makes no sense."

Mieko stood up to follow, "Not everywhere. I hear in China the guys always wear long sleeves. If you are rich your sleeves go past your hands."

"Like a version of long fingernails, I imagine."

Mieko looked at her hands, "Long finger nails?" She looked up, "I hear that's popular in America."

Toshi leaned back against the sink, "I miss being able to mow my lawn shirtless."

This remark caused Mieko to turn away and blush furiously. She cleared her throat and changed the subject, "So... you are from a parallel earth, meaning you aren't Toshi? I mean, you aren't my friend's brother."

Toshi froze up. That statement hit way too close to home. He clenched the counter with both hands until his knuckles turned white, "That is a question I have been struggling with. I was Toshi there. I am Toshi here. In a sense... this Toshi died, but..." He held up his hand to look at it, "The Toshi from here is still inside here. He's comes out in fits and starts. It's like..."

Clicking his tongue, he looked at Mieko, "Imagine Toshi was a broom. Imagine he was shattered. Broken into a dozen pieces." He tapped on his chest, "God used me as the... replacement parts. Most of Toshi is me, but parts of him are... me? We're... not both here. There is only one me, but I didn't take him over." He tapped the side of his head, "The fragments of him still intact were added to me. We... merged."

"Merged? So... you're a combination of the two of you?"

"Yes. I think that's the way to think about it." He bit his lower lip, "For a while there, I wondered if I was her brother, or they were my parents. Yes, genetically they are, but... are they my family?"

"Are they?" Her face betrayed no emotion, "Because Hinako is my best friend. I might have messed up here, but she is very important to me."

Toshi blurted out, "I love my family dearly!" He seemed a little surprised at his own forcefulness.

Mieko was a bit taken aback at the reaction.

"That... was Toshi, by the way. He cared for them deeply and I can tell he has many, many... MANY regrets." Dropping his gaze to look at his own hands, "In my world, guys aren't supposed to have feelings. It's very... unmanly." He laughed a bit, "So it's hard to express myself here." He looked up at her, "I love them as well. They are my family and I feel so guilty about all this. I want to explain it all, but I'm also terrified. We're talked about this in a round about way and they said they'd love me no matter what, but..."

"But?"

"But. Just... but. I want to be the son and brother they deserve. I am what's left of their brother. They know that." He rubbed his eyes and looked away, obviously fighting to keep his emotions under control, "Strange, huh? Seeing a guy fighting so hard not to cry? I know it's fine here, but I can't do it. I can't let myself go." He pressed the palms of both hands into his eyes then let out a long breath, "They are family to me." He dropped his hands, "God gave me some advice on the whole thing. I'm trying to trust him, but it's hard to wonder who I am."

"He did? So... you met him more than once?"

Toshi nodded, "Yup. Once in heaven, twice here, actually. He's the one who showed me the shed actually." He gestured into the distance, "The one with the straw brooms."

Mieko muttered softly, "Is it the original broom?"

Toshi looked surprised, "Yeah. That was his question."

"You're still sweeping with it."

Toshi gave her sideways glance, "Okay... now you are creeping me out."

She moved over to sit on the toilet, "I... had a conversation with this old man once. I was having doubts about myself and who I was. What my place was here and... he talked about brooms." She looked up, "I only saw him the one time. Was that-"

"I have no idea. Maybe. Sounds like the something he'd say."

"Why are you telling me all this?"

Toshi bit his lower lip in thought before responding, "It was on impulse, but I have reasons. I have needed to talk to someone about this for a while without them locking me up. I need help testing some things."

"What things?"

"Let's leave that for later. However, I need your help... figuring out God."

She squinted at Toshi, "Excuse me?"

"You're living in a shrine. You know more religious stuff than anyone I know. More importantly..." He looked her dead in the eye.

 

"I have blackmail on you so I know you'll keep quiet."

 

Mieko shivered as a chill went up her spine.

Toshi moved to loom over Mieko, "God lied to me. I caught him in a lie and he gave a good excuse, but something doesn't add up. He claims he's God and he certainly is as powerful as one, but I have my doubts."

She looked around, "Can't... he hear us?"

Toshi looked around, "Last time I talked to him he said he wouldn't be able to talk to me for a while. I actually have the impression he... needed to leave. As in this universe. I mean I don't think he's... home in heaven right now."

"God Took A Vacation???"

"No no no..." Toshi shook his head, "It's hard to explain. I get the feeling something bad is happening and he's keeping me in the dark." He looked off into the distance, "Or... something bad is happening behind his back. I don't know which scares me more."

"What do you want from me?"

"I don't know. Yet. Right now, I'm fumbling in the dark trying to put the pieces together. I don't want to tell you everything right now, because this is a lot to take in. But something is going on. Something that doesn't make any sense. Either God is covering something up, or something is going on behind his back."

"How could anything be going on behind his back? HE. IS. GOD."

"In his own words, God isn't infinite. He isn't omnipresent, omnipotent, or omni-anything. There are no infinities in the cosmos. If he was infinite, there wouldn't be any room for us."

Mieko furrowed her brow at this concept.

"That means he has some limitations, which means he could be deceived."

"Where do I fit in?"

"I don't want to force you, but... I'd like to tell you as much as I know and see if you can help me figure it out. I don't understand how religions work here. It's not the same as back on my Earth. Maybe you can help me figure out what's going on."

Toshi paused to look at the ceiling, "Or maybe you could just appear and answer my questions? I like to think we're friends." He paused, tilting his head from side to side, "No? Nothing? Not back yet?" He lowered his eyes back down to look at Mieko, "His answering machine has got to be overflowing at this point."

"God has an answering machine?"

Toshi shook his head, "Metaphor. I'm joking."

"Ah."

"Look, I don't know if this is safe. I thought about trying to just ignore it, but it's getting to be impossible. It's like an itch I can't scratch." He backed off to lean against the towel bar, "So, just... think about it. If you want to see how deep this rabbit hole goes, then I'll fill you in on everything I know. If you want out, then just tell yourself I'm insane and we'll drop it." He raised a finger, "Assuming you know to keep your mouth shut."

"I... don't know if I can keep this from your sister."

Toshi pushed off the wall to step closer, "I won't let you hurt her."

"Hurt her?"

"Do you have any idea how bad she feels about all this? If she knew the truth, I don't know how'd she take it. Especially since I don't entirely know the truth myself!"

He shook his head the passion in his voice climbing with every word, "I will be their Toshi. I am their family and they are mine and even if I'm not, I'm going to BE the brother, I'm going to BE their son, because they deserve it!" He thumped his chest, "Some of the old Toshi is still in here and as long as there is a spark of him left, I'll do my damnedest to live up to what he was to them!" He smacked the side of his head, "No matter how fucked up the wiring is up here!"

Mieko listened to the rant quietly before asking, "Have you considered maybe you are just... brain damaged and this is your way of coping?"

Toshi nodded, "Yup. Maybe. But too much has happened to make be believe that. I do have evidence. I can show you some... weird things. Let's leave it at that."

"But once you start showing me these weird things, there's no going back, is there?"

"Unfortunately, yes. This might even be dangerous. I don't know. I'm sorry we're here. I'm sorry for using you like this. So I'm giving you a way out."

"I see... I'm... " She rubbed the back of her neck then looked like a thought occurred to me, "Just so I know, is there anything you could tell me or show me that would remove all doubt?"

Toshi squinted at his reflection in the mirror as he thought of an answer, "Yes. I think I have something that would remove all doubt." He looked at her, "But it also would be a point of no return, if you get my meaning."

"I understand. I'd like to see it now."

Toshi was surprised, "You sure? You don't want-"

"If you really, truly have been in contact with God, I wish to know. Wherever this leads, I'm in."

"Well... okay." He stepped forward to turn the water on. Holding out a hand to her, he smiled softly, "Give me your hand and stand up." She narrowed his eyes as she took his hand. He held it tight, "I've been practicing in the shower. It's just easier to affect liquids for some reason." He pointed at the water with his free hand, "Tell me what you see."

Mieko curiously looked at the water. Immediately she started to wince. She felt very uncomfortable as her body felt like a sheet of paper. Someone was crumpling her up into a ball, then flattening her back out, over and over. She tried to pull away Toshi but he wouldn't let go, instead holding tighter, "It won't last long. Keep watching the water! What do you see?" With her free hand she covered her mouth, "I'm going to throw up! It feels like I'm chewing tinfoil!" She had more complaints, but she finally saw a change in the water.

 

It had stopped.

 

Not stopped running. It simply stopped moving. It was frozen as it fell. The water started up again, then stopped, then started up, then stopped several times. It was stuttering like an old film reel misaligned in the projector. The pain was too much and she eventually tore her hand free from his grip and backed away.

"You saw it, didn't you?"

She replied by vomiting into the toilet. Toshi looked worried as he pulled her hair back so it didn't fall into the bowl. A few minutes later she was done with emptying her stomach, spitting repeatedly to get the taste out of her mouth. She turned her head to look at Toshi, "What was that?"

"God taught me how to do it right before he... left? I guess is the word for it. I... I think it's because I don't belong here. He said I have a strong soul. I can... disrupt the flow of things."

"You can stop time?"

Toshi shook his head, "No. Nothing like that just... disrupt what is supposed to happen. I don't quite understand it. It's hard to explain... Wait. You every play a video game when you had an underpowered processor?"

She nodded.

"You know how strange things happen in a game when the frame rate drops into the single digits? Like you can have no clipping or objects just render weird?"

She nodded again.

"Well. It's like that. I can overwhelm reality's graphics card."

She gaped at Toshi.

He looked thoughtful, "Honestly, I wasn't sure I could bring someone along with me. I'm really glad to be able to test-"

"WAIT." She held up a hand, "You've never-" She clicked her tongue, "So you had no idea what this was going to do to me?"

Toshi opened his mouth then slowly closed it as he shook his head sheepishly.

Mieko looked like she was going to yell at him, but got herself under control. She got up off the floor to look at the water, putting her hand in it, then looking at the water cupped in her hand, "This is messed up."

"Tell me about it." He leaned against the wall, "It's how I saved Naora. She was supposed to die. I lagged the world and it gave me the extra time I needed."

"The... world?"

Toshi looked thoughtful, "Well... maybe. I haven't seen how far it goes. I've been practicing in the shower. I don't want to do too much or where someone else is. Don't want to accidentally no clip someone into a wall or something."

"That Can Happen???"

Toshi shrugged, "No idea! Maybe? I'm new at this, okay?" He sighed, "Look. You wanted proof. This proof enough that SOMETHING is going on?"

Mieko nodded, "I... believe something is going on."

"Good. Take some time to think about this. I don't want to bury you with too much at once."

"There's more?"

Toshi nodded, "Oh yeah. But... no rush. I don't think there's a rush, at least. So. Let's focus on the immediate problem."

"Immediate Problem?

He picked at his shirt.

 

 

"What's our story and how am I going to get home without people flipping out?"