It was a long ride back.

 

 

As they returned, Toshi and Meiko agreed upon a cover story about how he tried to take the bus to go to his mom's place of work because he couldn't get his phone to work, but he took the wrong bus and wound up in the middle of nowhere with a busted phone. It was by sheer chance he saw the van that was owned by Meiko's family and he asked for a ride. They were happy to give him one, as soon as they finished the trip to pick up donations. It wasn't until they got back closer to Tokyo that they got reception again.

 

At least this was the cover story her mom had given Meiko. Toshi made a call on the way back indicating they had just gotten back in a zone with cellphone reception. Twenty minutes later Meiko got a text from her mom indicating that Toshi's mom had called her to confirm the story.

 

Meiko drove up to drop him off at his home and was greeted at the doorway by his mother and sister. Asuka pulled Toshi inside to yell at him. Toshi played up his part of being rather clueless so she bought the fact that he just panicked and made some poor choices. Hinako, on the other hand, dragged Meiko back into her vehicle and must have spent the better part of an hour interrogating her. Toshi could see the two of them out in the van from his bedroom window.

 

When Hinako got out and Meiko finally left, Toshi got a series of texts.

Everything is fine. Your sister was just worried about you.
I think she'd prefer you dated Madoka over me.
Not that we're dating.
Unless you want to.
Goodnight, Magical boy

Toshi stared at the words for too long, because before he could type a reply, Hinako came up to his room, "What did you do?"

 

Toshi looked up, "Huh? Oh. I got lost. You see-"

 

She shook her head, "Not that. Her. To her. What did you do to her?" She hooked a thumb over her shoulder, "Meiko is... I don't know. Smiling. I've never seen her smile so much. I mean... smile. She's... happy. Happiest I have ever seen her." She pushed off the door frame with her shoulder to come walking over and sit on the corner of his bed, "She said you guys didn't... it. I don't think she'd lie to me-"

 

Toshi interrupted, "My pants never came off, alright?" He looked down at his phone.

 

Hinako shook her head a bit, "You're both hiding something. She's telling me the truth, but she's not being truthful. And you?" She pointed at Toshi, "You're off too. Mom says Meiko's mom chaperoned everything and she says nothing happened." Hinako slowly lowered her hand, "Toshi... I don't want things to go bad between us again. Please." She took a deep breath, "I'll keep it under control. Just... tell me."

 

Toshi looked out the window and was quiet. Hinako let out a disappointed sigh and abruptly got up to walk out, obviously pissed. Toshi spoke as she reached the door, "Dad was right."

Hinako stopped and turned around, "What?"

"Dad talked about... how I'm like him." He kept staring into the street, "How Mom saved his life and he was smitten by her. I didn't take him seriously but..."

Hinako took a few steps back towards Toshi, "But?"

 

Toshi gripped his chest over his heart, "I threw myself at her. I did. I..." He laughed bitterly, "And she turned me down cold. I'm so... You would think she'd..." He shook his head, "Nope. And she called it. She called it. I was trying to seduce her because I didn't want to lose her and she saw right through me. I was afraid and I was using her and she called me on it and I don't know why but I am angry. I'm also touched that she didn't take advantage of me and she wants to protect me and she doesn't want anything in return which makes her a goddamn FOOL!" Toshi found himself clenching both is hands into tight fists to the point they were shaking.

 

Toshi finally looked at Hinako, "I know the answer, but I keep asking myself, why didn't she?" He ran his hands through his hair, "And I don't want this drama, but it..." He laughed again, "Why am I angry with her? For treating me with respect? For seeing me more than someone to fuck?"

 

Hinako's face contorted through several emotions before calming down, "I'm glad nothing happened. You shouldn't... er..." She was clearly uncomfortable in speaking about this.

"Treat sex as a commodity?" He turned to look back out the window, "I feel dirty. This... I shouldn't feel like this. This isn't right." he reached out to touch the window and spoke with a disconnected sounding voice, "I'm in love with-" He cut himself off. Half because he almost said 'Naora' and knew what a shit storm that would be. Half because he wasn't entirely sure if he was only in love with Naora.

 

Hinako crossed the distance between them to grip him firmly on the shoulder, "You were raped."

Toshi snapped his head around at her, shocked at her statement.

 

She looked down at him with a serious expression, "I can say it. I'm sorry I have a hard time saying it, but you were." She squeezed reassuringly, "But that's why you feel dirty. You might not remember things, but part of you does and you can't help but think less of yourself."

 

She sounded like she was speaking from something she read, "When someone shows you kindness, it hurts. But there is nothing wrong with you. You aren't less for it, but you feel that way so it confuses you." She knelt down on one knee to look up at him, "If she makes you happy, but you don't feel like you deserve to be happy, it's because of everything that happened to you."

 

Hinako reached up to brush away a tear that Toshi didn't even know he had shed, "I'm not saying you two are meant for each other, but don't push her away because you think you don't deserve to be treated well. I don't want you winding up with some jerk just because it feels more comfortable then just... being happy."

 

Toshi rubbed at his eyes, "Is that what I'm doing?"

 

She nodded, "I've been reading about it. You start to think because bad things happen to you, you must be a bad person. If you are a bad person, you shouldn't be happy. Therefore, you self-sabotage because if you are bad, but good things happen to you, the world doesn't make sense." She chuckled softly, "I've actually been getting some insight into my own life."

Without thinking, Toshi blurted out, "I don't like this having feelings bullshit."

Hinako stared up at him, then abruptly wrapped her arms around him. Hugging very tightly, she lightly patted him on the back of his head.

 

"I'm not used to it either."

 

---

As they hugged each other, out in the hallway, Hirofumi was around the corner. He had been listening in on his children, hoping that he could learn more by letting his daughter talk instead of him. The conversation seemed to have wound down, so he turned to walk to the master bedroom where Asuka was getting ready for bed.

 

Asuka looked up, "Done spying on your son?"

 

Hirofumi frowned slightly, then nodded, "I think I heard enough."

 

She nodded once as she was climbing into bed with her data pad, "So? Don't keep me in suspense."

 

Hirofumi sat down at a small table with a mirror and proceeded to get ready for bed as well. He began with brushing out his hair, "Nothing happened between him an Meiko."

Asuka nodded, "Well, that's good."

"And unfortunately, nothing happened between them." He kept brushing.

"Huh?"

 

He looked over, "I'm afraid my son is just like me. He might have stopped being so manipulative, but he still an Oh." He sighed, "I was hoping to spare him that." He turned back to the mirror, "I wish he took after you."

 

Asuka frowned, then got out of bed to walk over behind him. She reached down to hug him from behind with one arm while staring t him in the mirror, "I don't."

Hirofumi sighed and grasped her arm with both hands, "You have no idea what it's like."

 

She grinned, "That you're crazy? That you are easily swayed by your emotions? That you are both unsure and timid, yet at times so fierce and commanding you terrify me?" She rested her chin on his shoulder, "You've slowed down in your old age, but I wouldn't have you any other way. If you weren't crazy, you wouldn't be with me. I love you and you are right, I don't know how much it hurts to be you..." She squeezed him a bit tighter, "But you blaze so brightly."

Hirofumi looked concerned, "Is it worth it when I burn you?"

Without hesitation she replied, "Yes." She nibbled on his ear for a second, "A thousand times yes. I wouldn't change a single moment. Not one second of pain or pleasure because there is a Hirofumi shaped hole in my soul and I am not complete without you." She squeezed one more time then returned to the bed, "So I hope he's just like you, because the world needs more of you."

 

Hirofumi sat there, watching his wife in he mirror as she returned to bed. She picked up her data pad and resumed tapping away on it, working rather intently on whatever it was that consumed her attention. Hirofumi remained quiet for a while. He got up to go turn off the light, leaving Asuka only illuminated by her hand held device. The glow gave her face an etherial quality. He walked over, took the pad out of her hand, and put it on the dresser hard enough to make a loud clack that filled the room.

 

She looked up with furrowed brow, "Uh, Hun? I was working on-" He put a single finger over her lips to silence her, "I'm afraid you'll have to put up with me getting crazy." He abruptly pulled the covers off her and then climbed into bed to kiss her, "Like me being on top for a change."

Asuka's eyes flared open as she suddenly caught on, "Uhh... Tomorrow. I can work tomorrow."

Hirofumi just grinned and started to kiss his way down Asuka's body as he helped her out of her nightgown.

 

---

On the dresser, the data pad remained on for several minutes. It was the only light in the room illuminating the two lovers. The browser was open and linked to the police department intranet. There were several tabs open, each was a variation of the other. Every single one was a search of some sort to find a hint, a scrap of data, or just a shadow of a clue about a particular subject.

 

That subject being Officer Mukai Yori.

It seemed he no longer existed.

 

As the data pad sat there, the tabs, one by one, closed. The browser history erased itself. The search data vanished. Cookies were deleted. Until, finally, any progress Asuka might have made to find someone who she remembered, but apparently nobody else in her department did, was gone.

 

 

 

 

 

The device turned itself off, plunging the room into total darkness.