~Damien~

The rest of the night proceeded smoothly enough. Bea had done what she’d accomplished to do, at least. Helped with gift finding, acquired a new comic, and ate her weight in meat.

All throughout, I was quiet. I barely spoke, not that I would’ve spoken much anyway to a bunch of kids I hardly knew. But the main reason was Evie’s words weighing on my mind. The confession she’d blurted out put me on edge, and I couldn’t stand it.

On the drive home, after all the others had been dropped off, I thought about the past.

Evie had always been attached to me. It was inevitable, I was around her constantly. If she cried, I was there to pick her up. If she got hurt, I was the first to her side. If she was sick, I would be her ever-present nurse. Eventually, I could hardly go anywhere or do anything without her crying for or following me. She even stayed in my room more often than not, even at night. We were rarely apart. Hell, I couldn't even go take a piss without her crying near the door for me.

I recalled all the times I’d put her to sleep. How precious she looked with strands of hair in her face, breathing deep and easy. Safe in my arms, happy. The warmth that filled my heart in those moments made me restless and content at the same time. I worried over ever little thing, constantly fearing something would hurt her.

I was her brother. It was my job to worry and love in equal measure. But now? I only felt a sickening sense of foreboding. Of fear and impending doom.

I hated it. And if I was honest, I resented her for causing it. She should’ve kept quiet. She should’ve never spoken a goddamn word of her feelings for me aloud.

...Like I did. 

I noticed it in her 14th year, Evie’s attractiveness. They’d just gotten done celebrating her birthday and there had been a bad storm that night. In their big house, the noises had been too much for her even at that age.

She’d crept into my room, asking if she could sleep with me. I took one look at her trembling hands and allowed it.

Her lithe figure crawled into my bed and took hold of my arm. I wasn’t sure how long we’d laid there, but soon enough my mind wandered. And I caught her scent, sweet and fruity. Her slow, even breathing rang loudly in the quiet room. I felt her body heat, her two budding mounds pressing against my arm.

And suddenly I was harder than I’d ever been in my entire life, before or since. The dim light from my running television allowed me to see her petal-pink lips and terrible thoughts began to take root.

I recall wanting to do such ungodly things to that mouth. Images of having her kneel in front of me as she ran that tiny tongue over my swollen cock flooded my mind.

I remember being horrified by it. Fucking disgusted. What the hell had I been imagining? Jesus Christ, I’d been 21 years old thinking of face-fucking my 14 year old sister. It was sickening every which way you thought of it.

That’s when I knew I couldn’t be around her anymore. So I left. I’d skipped some grades, so I was able to get my Masters's degree earlier than most people my age and applied for a job here, at my childhood hometown I’d lived in back when my father was still alive.

For three years, it was easy. My life was uneventful, peaceful even. I made new friends, some colleagues.

Then my mother called, and I agreed to something I now realize I never should’ve. I thought I could handle it, being around her. I really did. But seeing her again, the way she ran up and threw her whole body at me the day she arrived...it was too much. She’d grown beautifully, as I knew she would. Her hair, a perfectly brushed mass of ebony black. Her eyes, clear and mesmerizing, seemed to draw you in and drown you in their depths. She’d become taller and curvier, in the midst of ripening. She was like a flower that had begun to bloom.

And I wanted to ravish that flower with everything I had. That first day, it’d been all I could think of on the way home. It made me irritable and maybe sound a touch colder to her than I'd wanted to.

That’s why I’d taken Triss and Cami that night. I’d known they both vied for my attention. For a long while I had held back, for various reasons. Moral integrity being one. But that night, I gave in. I had to.

I didn’t even bother with pleasantries. It happened so suddenly, too. One moment Cami was helping clean up, and the next her hand brush over my own for a second too long. And when I looked up, I saw her staring back at me. I don’t even remember putting my arms around her. Or taking off her top.

I only vaguely recall Triss coming into the kitchen and giving a squeak, standing there frozen as I pumped into the woman with frightening ferocity. Feverishly, furiously, desperate to get Evie out of my mind. She’d been close enough to touch, Triss...and so I did. Something bestial had just taken over all rational thought.

She may have resisted at first. Maybe not. I don’t remember. I only remember a trail of clothes that led to the living room. A tangle of arms and legs, some fiery kisses. They groped at me, eager to please. They licked, bit and sucked on seemingly every inch of my body and I did the same with matching fervor.

It’d been a vent, nothing more. I knew that. I knew it the moment I caught Evie peaking at us from the second-floor stairway.

I think I wanted her to watch. It was stupid, but I think I was trying to prove to myself that I didn’t need her, want her. Not that way, at least. Never that way. And so despite knowing it was a mistake, I kept the relationship with those two alive.

I had them over almost constantly. Indulging in their bodies openly, shamelessly. I knew Evie watched. Maybe I wanted her to start hating me for it. Become as disgusted and ashamed with me as I was with myself, that way she’d stay clear. And I could have peace again. It almost made me laugh, the bullshit I said to her as an excuse. I knew damn well it wasn't right to lead the poor girls on like I did, to make them think we all had...something...together. Just another item to add to the list of reasons I despise myself.  

Still, for a while, I thought it worked. Evie had stayed away from me and we barely talked to each other at all. But I was a fool. She didn’t hate me, she’d just been jealous. That’s why she kept her distance. She couldn’t stand seeing Cami and Triss be with me in a way she couldn’t. A way she clearly wanted for herself.

And that was a problem. Knowing she desired the same thing I did both thrilled and terrified me. There was a feeling of wanting to push her down right now and pump her full of every fucking drop of semen I had. And a feeling of wanting to run from her as fast and far as I could. Because that, that was the right thing to do.

It’s what I should do, anyway. Should send her home, call our mother and make up some excuse.

So I will. I had to, for her sake and mine.

Or God help me, we'd both fall.