"I'm not actually hungry this morning," Amber said as the two of us stood together in the kitchen.
She pulled a can of root beer out of the fridge while I poured myself a glass of juice. I put the coffee machine on as well, I figured Melissa and Susan would be up soon and they'd want their morning caffein hit.
"Huh," I said as I frowned. "Right. At the cottage none of us were hungry the day after Lily did the ritual. So I'm probably the only one who's going to be interested in food today."
Amber slipped an arm around my waist and leaned her head against my shoulder as she said, "Sorry Mara."
We ended up talking last night in bed, and I told her how I felt left out. And she did a good job of helping me feel better. Even if we mostly just cuddled, she was really good at it.
And I was still curious about how much she changed. For one thing she still hadn't bothered with clothes. The blinds were drawn but the sun was up, this wasn't sneaking around nude in the dark anymore. She was letting it all out in the daylight, same as me.
We eventually left the kitchen, and ended up cuddling together on the love-seat. She had her soda and I had my juice, and the two of us talked more while waited for the other pair to get up.
Normally I didn't like asking personal or private questions, but in this case my curiosity got the better of me. And I figured it was justified, since I had a calm naked Amber practically in my lap as the two of us enjoyed our morning beverages.
"So um," I hesitated. "I'm sure you knew this question would come sooner or later. Since the ritual last night, you've been acting a little different. And you know how I could see that purple laser energy thing right? I uh, I could tell you got a lot more of it than either Melissa or Susan."
Amber had another sip of her root beer then nodded quietly. She glanced at me, and she had a slight smile on her face.
"I guess there's no point trying to keep it secret anymore," she said with a sort of happy amused tone in her voice. "I mean, it's done now, and Lily said there's no going back."
My small cute and not-so-blushy brunette girlfriend took a breath then stated, "I went all the way. I'm a full succubus now."
"Wow," I said quietly. I kind of expected her to say that, but it was still sort of surprising to hear it.
Amber shifted so she was even closer as she said, "Don't worry Mara, I'm still me. I'm sure you want to know why, but I'd rather wait till Sue and Melissa are up before I go into a bunch of details."
I leaned closer and gave her a kiss then smiled, "Ok Amber. I'm not upset or freaking out or whatever. There's more questions and stuff, but I'll wait till later. As long as you're happy, that's the main thing."
She smiled back, "Thanks Mara. It'll probably take me a few days to get used to everything, like it took a few days after the cottage? But I'm happy, and I feel really good."
We were both quiet again as we cuddled and sipped our drinks. I realized that kind of confirmed neither Melissa or Susan went all the way. Amber was furthest along and got the most energy last night, so my other two girlfriends both remained part human.
"What's the verdict on the tattoo?" Amber asked, pulling me out of those other thoughts. "Lily used some energy last night too right?"
I grimaced, "I forgot to look."
Amber shifted out of the way so I could check my ankle.
"Four more runes cleared," I announced. "Only five left."
The small brunette smiled, "So Lily could be free in a month? Two at most I guess. I wonder if she'll head back to Naples when she's gone? Or maybe she'll move in to one of that other demon's properties over in England?"
Suddenly it felt like my stomach was filling up with cold lead, and I'm sure all the colour drained from my face.
I'd been focused on helping Lily free herself for the past six months. I wanted her to be able to fly again like she did at new years. But it never really occurred to me what would happen after that.
Amber's words suddenly hit me, the whole 'what happens afterwards' thing that I never really thought about. What would happen when Lily was free. When she was gone.
Her being free meant she wouldn't be in my head anymore. I wouldn't be able to talk to her any time day or night. I wouldn't be able to slip inside and visit her for hugs and advice and conversations, or even just to hang out with her. There might not even be an inside anymore, I had no idea if her apartment would still be there if she was gone.
And I knew I survived the first eighteen years of my life without Lily. Well sort of, I managed to get killed by an SUV while crossing the road to visit my best friend. I didn't have to worry about that while Lily was with me though, I knew she was always looking out for me.
Except if she was free then she'd be gone. She wouldn't be looking out for me. And those first eighteen years I lived without her were all just sort of dull and sad and grey, compared to the twelve months that I'd shared with her.
I knew a lot of that was because of dysphoria and stuff, it was coincidence or whatever that I didn't really feel alive till my new life started as Mara and that was also when Lily became part of my life. But I couldn't imagine what it'd be like living this new life without her.
The thought of losing her, of not having her with me anymore suddenly felt scary and lonely.
Eventually I realized Amber was talking again. I blinked a few times and mumbled, "I'm sorry I missed that?"
She had her arms around me, she was holding me tight as she repeated "Mara what's wrong? You looked really sad all of a sudden."
"Sorry Amber," I mumbled as I shook my head. "It's nothing. I got distracted thinking about some stuff."
I knew I had to talk to Lily about it, but I didn't want to discuss it with my girlfriends first. Maybe afterwards, but Lily had to be the one I spoke with first about what was going to happen when she was free.
Fortunately me and Amber were both distracted from that topic when Melissa and Susan emerged from the master bedroom. They looked sleepy at first, but as they started down the stairs both of them were startled wide awake when they realized Amber was cuddling naked with me on the love-seat.
"Amber?" Susan asked as she stared. "Are you ok?"
Melissa didn't say anything yet, but she was smiling as she enjoyed the view of the small brunette's naked body. And of course neither of them were dressed any more than I was. But the three of us were all used to casual nudity around the house. It was a big deal for Amber though.
"I'm fine," Amber replied with a smile. "How are you two? It sounded like you had a good night last night, I hope you both got some sleep."
"We had a very good night," Melissa grinned.
She and Susan finally continued on their way to the kitchen, then a few minutes later they rejoined me and Amber in the living-room. They settled onto the sectional sofa across from us with their coffees.
"I guess you two aren't hungry either?" I asked Melissa and Susan after I finished my juice.
They both shook their heads, Susan replied "Not at all. It's like after the cottage I guess."
"I figured," I nodded. "I'll make myself some toast or something in a bit."
Susan had a deep sip of her coffee then she asked Amber, "You said you were fine, but obviously something new or different's going on. I don't think I've ever seen you naked before."
"No blushing this morning either," Melissa observed.
Amber just smiled and drained the last of her root beer. She set her empty can on the side table, then took my empty glass and put it over there too.
She finally looked at Sue and Melissa and said "I guess we may as well get this out of the way. I had Lily take me all the way last night. I'm a full succubus now. So yes things are a little different for me this morning, and it's all still very new. I'm sure everything will settle down in a few days, just like it took a couple days for me to get used to things after the cottage."
Melissa's eyebrows both crept upwards, while Susan looked even more surprised.
"You went all the way?" Sue gasped.
"Yeah," Amber shrugged. "A hundred percent succubus, that's what I wanted. How about you two? If you're comfortable sharing."
Susan grimaced, "I thought I was being adventurous and daring, I asked Lily to take me to ninety percent."
After a slight pause she admitted, "I'm not prepared to give up all my humanity? I don't know, the idea bothers me a little. Not that I'm judging you Amber, just saying it didn't feel right for me."
Melissa smiled, "I'm the wimp of the group. I barely changed at all, just to three quarters."
I kept quiet for now, since this part of the conversation didn't really involve me. I watched and listened as my girlfriends compared notes on how much energy they got last night. I wasn't that surprised Melissa was happy being changed the least. After all, she was the one who was most worried about me becoming too demonic, it stood to reason she wouldn't want to change too much either.
Only Susan seemed a little shocked. She obviously thought she'd be the most changed of the three, and she was surprised and maybe a little worried that Amber went all the way.
There were a few quiet moments before Sue spoke up again. She sounded curious and maybe a tiny bit uneasy as she asked Amber, "Can I ask, why did you go all the way? Why'd you want to give up all your humanity?"
Our small cute brunette girlfriend shrugged slightly, "In a word, confidence. Like Mara said, I was calm and confident, strong and in control when I was at work. That was me embracing my succubus side. Everywhere else though, my human side was nervous, anxious, shy, and timid. I didn't like that, I didn't like feeling that way. I wanted to have that calm confidence all the time. So I got rid of the nervous anxious timid human part of myself."
"Is that why you're naked now?" Susan asked. "Like you definitely didn't go around nude before."
Amber replied, "I didn't, but I wanted to. I wished I was as brave and confident as the rest of you. I get that it's going to seem like I'm acting differently, but it's not that I've changed. It's that I'm finally brave enough to do the things I wanted before, but couldn't because my anxiety and shyness were holding me back."
We were all quiet again for a second or two as that sank in. Sue finally nodded, "Ok Amber. It obviously worked, you seem a lot more calm and confident this morning."
"I think it's too early for any of us to know how things will feel," Melissa pointed out. "Like after the solstice, and after the cottage, it'll probably take a few days or a week before we really know how we feel from the changes."
Susan agreed, "Right. We probably won't know for sure till after the next time we have business with humans. Or Amber I guess for you it's different, but maybe after you've been to work or something?"
The cute brunette nodded, "It took a few days, maybe a week for me to get used to things after the cottage. I'm sure it'll be the same now."
Eventually all four of us got up and went back into the kitchen. Melissa and Susan refilled their coffee mugs, Amber got herself another can of root beer, and I got more orange juice. I also put a couple slices of bread in the toaster. The others went back to sit down in the living-room while I stayed in the kitchen and waited till my toast was ready.
Melissa and Susan were cuddling with each other on the sectional so I joined Amber on the love-seat again.
"So you're off work today right?" I asked the small succubus before taking a bite of my breakfast.
Amber nodded, "I'm off today. I'm working the day-shift tomorrow, Wednesday, and Saturday. And evening shifts Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. And when I'm not at work I'll be packing stuff into boxes, figuring out what's coming here, what's staying with my folks, and what's being donated."
"Anything we can do to help?" I offered.
"Not really," she shook her head. "I'll need everyone's help the day of the move obviously. Even though it's just around the corner, I can't carry all that stuff myself. And I'm not sure yet how we'll move my desk, dresser, and bookcase?"
Melissa said, "We can probably move everything with my car? Load it up with boxes and drive it around the corner. We'll figure out how to fit the furniture. We'll take a few trips back and forth, it shouldn't be that difficult."
I grinned at Amber and suggested, "I know there's already a bed in your room here but it's just a twin. Let's get you a queen-size? If we go pick one out for you today we can probably get it delivered before your move."
Even that didn't get a blush out of her. She just smiled back, "That's a great idea!"
"We'll leave that to you two," Susan said with a smile. "After we've finished our coffee, I think me and Melissa are going back to bed for round two."
That reminded me of the cottage again, and the full day of fun we had after the ritual. Sue and Melissa were obviously still feeling the effects this morning, and it reminded me once again of feeling left out.
Before I could feel too down about it Amber snuggled up even closer and announced with a grin, "Then I get Mara to myself for today!"
"Deal," I smiled as I gave her a kiss on the cheek.
Confidence and Cuddles,, Amber has gotten a pretty good deal from all this
But does she still have blushy smol bean energy?
Poor Mara