“Were you worried about me?” His voice was still rough. He cleared his throat. He could ask all about what happened there later.
Xie Yi pressed his lips together. His eyes were sparkling a bit from the excess moisture. “Of course! And not only me, you made Xue Hua and Ying Hua super worried, too! You can’t do this kind of thing! Your health is important!”
The warmth that bubbled up in his heart was too much to bear. Shi Yue bit his teeth together and clenched his jaw but his sight was beginning to blur anyway.
He reached out with both his arms to grasp Xie Yi and pull him down to his chest.
The young man made a sound in surprise when he found himself tightly hugged to his master. However, he held still and only slightly moved his head so that his ear was placed over Shi Yue’s slowly beating heart.
The Grandmaster breathed in shakily.
No matter how all of this was possible. Xie Yi was not the leader of the Demonic Sect; that man was dead already.
The one in his arms was free of sin - crimes that hadn’t been committed yet, dead that had yet to be killed.
In this timeline, there was nothing that Xie Yi had done wrong.
Shi Yue pressed his face into the black, soft hair.
He wanted to think that way and refused to think any other.
Xie Yi had the memories of that life, too, didn’t he? Mingtian must have them as well. The gigantic mixed breed that had always accompanied the Demonic Sect leader.
Things sure made a lot more sense now.
Tiankong was Xie Yi wearing the skin of an adult. Mingtian must be much younger than the last time; he had sought out Xie Yi earlier. The two of them wanted to live a better life this time but couldn’t let the Demonic Sect go.
When Xie Yi wanted to move around as an adult, Mingtian accompanied him. He did not reject Shi Yue as he knew that he was important to pull Xie Yi onto the right path.
At the same time, he couldn’t reveal himself as Xie Yi’s beast so that Shi Yue would not notice the hints of Tiankong being the same person as Xie Yi.
He was still missing a lot of information on the things that had happened then but some puzzle pieces were already fitted together.
Shi Yue pressed his tears away. He didn’t want his disciple to see him cry.
Not that it would be shameful. In total, Xie Yi’s mental age was much higher than his own and he had never held back on crying if he wanted to.
He simply thought it was a bit embarrassing.
“Shi Yue”, Xie Yi mumbled against his chest. “Are you crying?”
Ah, he got found out after all.
“In moments like this, you are supposed to ignore it and just hold still.”
“Oh. Okay.”
He settled again, his hand clenching around Shi Yue’s shirt.
A sort of momentary serenity settled over Shi Yue. He closed his eyes again and moved one hand up to pace in Xie Yi’s hair, his fingers mindlessly moving up and down.
He was hurt, exhausted and his mind was being filled with foreign information. No one should scold him if he let loose for a tiny moment.
At the same time, Xie Yi was trying to figure out how to deal with the situation.
He didn’t mind the position, not at all - his heartbeat was running and his legs were complaining under the strain of the position but this was easily one of the most comfortable moments in his life, somehow.
He could feel Shi Yue’s breath on his hair, tickling him. It was a bit unsteady and nasally, hinting at Shi Yue crying along with a few other signs.
As he was asked, he ignored it.
Shi Yue felt a bit different after waking up and Xie Yi had been badly on edge after the man had fainted again. He had acted weird when he had been awake and the look he had given Xie Yi was unusual.
That’s why, right now, he felt even better. That Shi Yue didn’t avoid him was a great relief.
It was warm.
He had been tired anyway after not sleeping well for three weeks and now he was getting drowsy. It was hard to keep his legs straight.
Shi Yue noticed. It wasn’t that hard to notice considering his disciple’s breathing was getting slower and deeper and his weight was continuously shifting.
He blinked his tears away and tugged at the youth, pulling at him until he was sitting on the edge of the bed where it was easier to lie.
Xie Yi made a small sound, his eyes growing heavier.
Shi Yue’s heartbeat was so nice and steady. His arms were warm and he smelled of witchhazel - the pendant was lying on the bedside. The hand stroking over his head was soothing and the mere fact that Shi Yue had woken up was calming.
Shi Yue couldn’t help but chuckle very quietly when Xie Yi’s hand slipped down his chest without any strength.
When the sect leader came in again, he was followed by Master Chen. Both froze momentarily at the sight before them, but Shi Yue waved them in after pressing an acupoint on Xie Yi to keep him asleep.
“What would you say Xie Yi’s feelings towards me are?”, he mumbled absentmindedly.
Master Chen shared a glance with her sect leader.
“Head over heels.”
“It’s quite obvious that he’s madly in love with you.”
“He is, isn’t he”, Shi Yue said, sounding mildly surprised. It had been like that from the start, right?
This made no sense.
Or maybe it made perfect sense.
He went through the somewhat foreign memories in his head. If he filtered certain things out…
Let’s say he took things at a morally neutral standpoint and put no judgement on crimes for now. Also, if he tried to not think about those scenes with his usual filter of Tiankong = Enemy…
Had… that guy been courting him?
Like a little child, yes, but he had been, hadn’t he?
He had brought him ‘presents’ (all of which were no good, but they could be considered presents), he often appeared with just the intention to watch, he punished those that offended Shi Yue.
Ignoring the terrible execution of those ideas, the general intentions appeared to be to get his attention.
That really was messed up.
He would have loved to ask Xie Yi about it but he knew he couldn’t. There was no telling how Xie Yi would react if he knew that Shi Yue had those memories.
Master Chen watched the dazed Shi Yue for a while before speaking up. “Am I to take it that you have decided to have a relationship with him after all?”
Shi Yue’s eyebrows lowered. “Of course not.”
She coughed.
Shi Yue looked down. Alright, not very convincing with how this situation looked.
Still, he was a bit uncomfortable about it.
“He is my disciple.”
“Oh, don’t come to me with that excuse. Besides, he likes you, and you are more and more breaking that fake distance”, she humpfed, rolling her eyes.
It was true that most of the time, Shi Yue would keep a step away from Xie Yi, but the times where he accidentally overstepped the boundaries he had set for himself were amassing.
Just like now, where he couldn’t hide under the cover of coaxing his disciple. A hug was fine, but he was pretty much keeping the young man cradled against his chest.
Shi Yue avoided her eyes.
There really was a problem here. Xie Yi was Tiankong; two people whom he was very attached to.
But Xie Yi was a child -... well, physically at least, since his mind was already much older… Or, not accurate, he was almost an adult.
Alright, so Xie Yi was an adult, but he was his disciple.
And male.
…Okay, that was actually his only problem.
He simply had troubles thinking of himself together with a man.
He wanted children with his wife. He preferred women’s softer bodies. Generally, he had imagined for his wife to be a gentle and homely woman.
If he was fully honest, he even wanted her to be someone he could protect - not necessarily someone weak, but someone weaker. Someone to spoil and coax.
Xie Yi was… Xie Yi.
He had destroyed whole countries. His nerves were harder than steel if you excluded his currently scarred mental state, he had an insane talent for fighting, he was the type to live through anything - harder to kill than a cockroach (speaking from experience).
Xie Yi was not a soft little flower that he could cradle in the palm of his hand. Neither his gender, looks nor temperament was what Shi Yue had always wanted to find in a wife.
A corner of his mind shouted out in complaint. He was still keeping his arms wrapped around the young man without the slightest hint of disgust.
He shoved it back into its hole and turned to Master Chen.
I've got so much to say that it's under the spoiler.
No spoiler, just lots of talking for who wants to read it.
In the original version of the story, Xie Yi was much more manic-insane and the story was more about comedy than anything serious. Half of it was before XYs death where he brought random presents to his beloved, half of it afterwards (his death was an accident, not suicide). SY was more of a classical calm/haughty Grandmaster and XY just one of many disciples, but very very attached to him and quite weird. After he found out about XYs identity, he used a complicated array to find out about XYs feelings and got the answer "Well, he's head over heels for you." Following that, a very confused cultivator running from his manic-insane puppy-disciple. I might write one or two chapters of this version one day, as an extra.
Next thing, SYs memories are like Mingtian's. He remembers them but it's more of a story than XY, who feels as if it's one straight timeline.
Thennnnn SYs reaction to everything. Before, he mainly saw XY as a child and Tiankong as half a stranger, so there was no real reason for him to have a possibly romantic interest in either. Now he knows that both of them are the same, and moreover, technically an adult. No saying "yeah but age gap". XY is almost physically full grown and mentally, not even a question.
But SY does not want a male lover. He doesn't disdain it but he prefers women and mostly, he wants a cute little housewife. Funny thing is - and I hinted at that somewhere before - he doesn't actually like that type of woman. He can't deal with weak women and is always a bit tense around them because they're too sensitive and don't understand cultivation. Also, he would have to leave them alone all the time. Even if it was a female cultivator, she couldn't accompany him everywhere due to strength difference. So, poor SY has a discrepancy in his conscious and unconscious preferences, which is why he was always bound to have troubles finding a partner
New custom cover! and comments to it! below the next spoiler xD
Here's our pretty, murderous baby with his sunset eyes!
Sooo what is he holding here? Very important, it's a white lotus.
What is the white lotus all about in chinese tradition? Generally, it's a sign for purity, but can also be associated with rebirth. The lotus blooms from mud but is unstained by it.
....you might also know that a white lotus is an internet term for a person who looks beautiful and pure on the outside but is quite different inside.
The white Lotus fits XY in all its descriptions. I think I've said this before, but XY has a kind of "terrible purity" it's the purity of a child that doesn't know better, a child that wants to keep the pretty butterfly so he pulls off part of the wing so it can't fly away, cruel but if you don't know better all you see is you will take care of it and love it never considering that your love hurts. He is the lotus unstained by mud he retained a sort of "clean" state through all his horrible actions as Tiankong in the previous life, had he understood sooner that what he was doing was wrong he would have stopped. He is the internet termed white lotus in that he is quite black bellied in some ways.
Pretty good interpretation. I feel it's kinda like that too?
Yep, that's why he got the flower! While inherently violent and blood-thirsty, he's not inherently bad. He was raised that way. If not, he wouldn't have been so confused at slowly realizing the public's opinion of him. It's also why he can manage to turn things around in this life - he isn't truly tainted by what happened and can wash these habits off
@Owl yup. Perfect summing of it.
Lol! Just an idea, but I think this would be a great time for the sect to get a visitor, or somehow have Xie Yi and Shi Yue meet someone who perfectly fits what Shi Yue believes he wants in a wife. And it would be really funny if Xie Yi gets along really well with her. Maybe Feng Yan has a niece or something?
Warning: following part of comment may be excessively blunt.
I really like the story, but I think I actually preferred the old cover image.
The new cover image of Xie Yi is not really how I imagined him to look like, from your description. The general attractiveness/androgyny, his eyes (I pictured his eyes more like the actual eclipses you find pictures of online), and his sword. Also, he's not really wearing black, so that was a bit jarring. Honestly, I imagined something more like... probably Wei Wuxian, from Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (Mo Dao Zu Shi) (which is a pretty well-known story, I think), as he was depicted in the manhua. Like this, but with fewer emotions displayed: https://66.media.tumblr.com/868178e825d1af3b0ecdb872096335f5/tumblr_pm6ihzOdON1wv2380_1280.jpg
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/modao-zushi/images/d/d1/Manhua2.png/revision/latest?cb=20180511021513
Maybe like this (person in black): https://s3.mkklcdnv3.com/mangakakalot/o1/ol917885/chapter_20/22.jpg
For that last one, I actually think it would be pretty in-character for Xie Yi in his sect. Maybe. In context, the "signal illumination" things are basically like flares, signaling if someone needs help. They recently had a run-in w/ something dangerous and didn't restock after, so now they're in a really dangerous situation again.
Again, sorry, just my opinion, no offense meant, please continue with your story. I really like your story.
And... I do know the term "white lotus" used a few times to describe people who are faking it, I think white lotus is for people who are actually that way. A fake white lotus is also referred to as a "green tea b$%#h".
Funnily enough, I'm currently writing it getting a vistor. Not quite as you described, but there is one.
As for the cover, first off, if you want to know what his eyes look like close-up you can check out my kofi, I've uploaded an image there. It's the iris that it described as an eclipse and not the complete eye. The sword is also not Juxian but his usual random one. Then, of course he's not wearing black - he has one black outfit but his main outfit is the sect's robe and that isn't black. I know that a lot of people are probably imagining him as Wei Wuxian and that's exactly what I didn't want to happen because he isn't. While some of the base-setup is similar, they're definitely not the same character. If you threw Xie Yi into MDZS, he'd be more likely to fall for Lan Xichen, actually.
So on that note, while I know a lot of you will have to reform the image in their head, I'm still happy the cover is there now because I'm trying to have you people get rid of 'Wei Wuxian' as Xie Yi xD Ultimately it's perfectly normal that a large part of you will have other imagination than what I described, so I gotta accept that
What actually that way? Outwardly pure, inwardly not, whether or not they act that way is not necessarily part of that I believe
@Owl That’s cool! Also, no, I definitely get the difference in personality—that was very clear. More... his face (not the donghua one) and color scheme, i think, was what i thought a bit similar. I actually hadn’t thought of Lan Xichen, actually, but that’s definitely cool!
(I’m sorry, I think I’m going to have a bit of a hard time changing my mental image, but now I’m just imagining baby Lans getting worried b/c there’s someone who looks similar to Wei Wuxian, but is quiet, terrifyingly resistant to feeling pain, and following a white-haired Lan Xichen look-alike.)
I imagined Xie Yi with a... less obvious scar. That scar just stands out, a lot.
Ye, in general it would become much less obvious over time but it's very visible for the first few months
Well, I'm pretty sure Xie Yi would be a pretty a doting wife.
it's a great cover, and chapter.
I LOVE IT. I love it. Thank you for the update. So precious. I wonder what's in store for Monday. This chapter was a gift, I adore it so much. I read about the original version in your spoiler, and I'm sure it would have still been amazing but I am very happy and grateful you wrote it like this. This story I literally the type of story I love to read. It has everything in it, fluff & some really good angst, and comedic moments. All in one. This story is really special to me and I know that when the story actually ends, I know it's going to stick with me. And I will probably re-read it over and over again lol. A story that never gets old. It's truly one of my favorites. I love this so much so thank you again for creating such a beautiful story. I am so grateful to be able to read it.
I'm excited for next week's chapters hehe. And Shi Yue... despite remembering... I know he cares, he can't help caring for Xie Yi.
. Xie Yi being a man like he is... please, Shi Yue is already hooked. He won't be able to stop him self from becoming closer. I can't wait for more romantic development between them, when it really picks up. I'm gonna enjoy every minute of it. Hehe. 
Btw, the cover is good. I like how the artist drew their interpretation of Xie Yi. It's very good. Excellent art.
Lots of fluff incoming~
@Owl Yayyyy. I can't wait!!!????❤❤❤
I’m crying tears. Now I can say I was here when you had the OG cover up. Boohoo ?
I had actually wanted to get rid of that cover waaaaaay earlier and just forgot about it because it was a stolen image and I don't really like doing that xD
FINALLY
now SY will start seeing XY in a new light ~ excited excited
That was so satysfaying. It's really nice to have so much insight on Shi Yue thoughts, I'm happy that he finally knows the previous timeline and that he didn't feel angry at Xie Yi for not telling him. I am very happy that it turned out this way.
It's hard to express how wonderful the last chapters are, this one is especially. 
As for the cover I always imagined Xie Yi diffrentely, like more androgynous and petite (even if strong), with more wavey hair, bigger, more distinct eyes (with thick eyelashes) and innocent look (all this while being splattered with blood). I will have to get used to him looking like that...
Shi Yue felt a bit different after waking up and he had been badly on edge after the man had fainted again. He had acted weird when he had been awake and the look he had given Xie Yi was unusual.
Shi Yue is a subject here and it took me a second to encrypt that the "he had" was about Xie Yi. It changed without notice. Thought, I don't know if it's like this because there is something missing or because my english is not sufficient
Yeah that's always the thing with getting your chars drawn, everyone has their own image in their head :) You can still think of him like that! Though if you look at the image for a while, it's surprisingly feminine~ its actually why I prefer having character images very early so that everyone has the same in mind, but yeah, didnt expect this story to turn so large xD
I also had a second of confusion here and I'm also not native speaker
I agree that it's about Xie Yi, so he noticed something
I was looking! I was looking veeery long at the image (after all it's pretty at its own), while trying to encode that it's Xie Yi, but failed for now (at most I can imagine that it's Tiankong version). Maybe it will come with time
@Melmothia Ah maybe the discrepancy is too large.... And yes, its a fully mature XY, so basically Tiankong and not yet the XY we have in this chapter