I sat up from the rough bed I had logged out in, clearly I was still in one piece here too. That’s good. I didn’t feel any different though since my real body and my game body are now identical. That thought brought a silly smile to my face. Then my stomach growled. Time to feed this body now too. So strange.

Checking my friends list I see that Colourless is offline. I think I’ll call him Col when we're ingame, even though he's Jeremy too. It’s still a bit early irl so maybe he’s still having dinner. At least I know we’ll be playing in the same time zone. Anyway, when I logged out my parents had been discussing options for how to deal with my current lack of identity. I was going to look for a solution in Pellan.

When I got down to the main room I could see mid morning sunlight streaming in through the elegantly carved windows. Last time I was here Col had dealt with everything concerning food ordering and I felt myself clam up at the prospect. I was a big chatterbox when I knew someone and was happy, but as soon as you put me alone in a room full of people I don't know, it was zipped lips time. I gave a sigh and made my way to the very end of a long table and tried to will the barmaid over so I could get some food. Eventually it worked.

“You want breakfast? We’ve still got some bread and cheese. Eggs too,” she asked in a bored tone.

I nodded mutely.

“Alright I’ll be back in a bit,” she droned, and then off she went.

Sitting there wallowing in my thoughts I wasn’t paying much attention to my surroundings. At the same time the barmaid placed my trademark boring medieval food in front of me, two adventurers plonked themselves down near me at the table. I cringed down into the bench a little and tried really hard to focus on eating my food.

“Man, those assholes,” said one guy, a dark skinned human tank by the looks of him. He looked Maori, which I wasn’t expecting to see in this place.

“Yeah, fuck. You should be glad you died. I hurt so much,” said his companion. She was a moderately tall darkling girl with skin that was a neutral pink-red colour. Her horns were small and peeked out from under her hair. She was also covered in burns and a few slashes.

“I lost so much experience though. You’ll heal when we eat and rest. Losing experience fucking sucks Karen,” he grumped to her.

“I don’t care I huuurt,” she mumbled with a pout.

I looked at my food and thought. I could help her. I wonder what happened. I want to ask but I’m anxious about starting a conversation with two random people. Something about the girl made me nervous but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I’ll finish my meal, heal her and then make a break for the door. Crap do I have to pay for the food? No wait it comes with the room. Wow my head will not stop thinking every random thing right now. Okay let's get the food done.

As they speak and complain, I get a sense for what happened to them. It seems like there's a group of bandit players who are going around killing people. The two next to me were ambushed as they walked back to the gates of the town and it sounds like other people have had problems with the group too. Dang, I was hoping to go outside and level for a bit.

Once my bowl was eaten I got up to leave, making my way around the table. As I neared the Darkling named Karen, I slowed. She looked up at me with wide eyes and opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. We awkwardly stared at each other.

Before she could try speaking again, the tank guy spoke up, “Can we… help you?” His tone was guarded and he looked like he was gearing up to fight me.

I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn’t find any words either. This Karen girl really really made me nervous. It was her eyes I think. They were intense, green and I had no idea where to look or how to avoid them. I gave up on speaking and quickly put my hand on her shoulder. She jerked away and I had to follow her a bit, the big maori tank guy got up and tried to make his way around the table as fast as he could. Before he made it to me, I brought my other hand onto Karen as well and channeled two healing pulses into her body. As soon as it was done, I scurried for the door as fast as I could and didn’t look back.

Jeez, that was so strange. I felt a bit weird, sick even. I didn’t like it. Sometimes I was just like this I guess. I was the quiet one in my friend group and social interaction had always resulted in a bit of panic. Even so, that girl had made me even more anxious as I got close to her. With an effort of will I dragged my mind away from those thoughts, and ran my mind over what I wanted to do. I needed to find a magic store first off, so I pointed myself further into town and started walking.

The town wasn’t very big, but it was still a nightmare to navigate. The paths and roads made no sense, winding this way and that with no respect for logic or ease of travel. In spite of this, I found a market area in what I assumed was the center of town but I couldn’t be sure because I was hopelessly lost.

I could read the signs on the shops that lined the edges of the area, as well as the stalls set up in the open space. I ran my gaze all over, reading and window shopping, searching for what I wanted. I couldn’t see anything apparent though, so I made my way around the edge of the market looking at the stalls and shops. Sadly I was much too short to see over the thin crowds, so I had to get fairly close to a store before I could read what the sign said. I’d almost made it halfway around when I saw a store called Slisder’s Spells and Arcanery. I hurried over and made my way inside.

The store wasn’t very well lit, but it wasn’t really dark either. It had the type of lighting you find in a trendy restaurant on earth. Bright enough to see by and dark enough to hide everyone's blemishes. There was a few other people browsing the store shelves, but I needed to speak to someone, so I made my way to the counter. The man behind the counter was much younger than I’d been expecting, but I guess he was an elf so I shouldn’t judge by appearances there. He was finishing off a transaction with an adventurer. I waited politely while they did their business. A few minutes later the adventurer left and he turned to me with a smile.

“Greetings young lady, how can I help you today?” he asked me, and as I moved forward, his eyes flicked down. Judging by the angle, he was looking at the skin I was showing between my thigh high socks and the bottom of my dress-tunic-thing. Well then. That made me slightly more flustered than I already was.

“I uh, I need, um…” I trailed off, and collected myself while he gave me a very friendly smile, “I’m wondering about utility spells. I have a whole bunch of official documents that need changes to them. They spelled my name wrong in my home country and I was wondering if um, if there was anything that would fix that. I’m very nervous with people and I, and I, and I,” My voice stuttered to a stop.

“Well, a bashful girl like you might have problems with denizens of bureaucracy, I can see that,” he said kindly. His eyes were still occasionally flicking to my body, but he wasn’t giving me the same hungry look as at the start. Progress I guess, “Spells as such that you describe do very much exist, they require the user to have the official documents within reach, and cost a terrific amount of mana.”

“Why would it cost so much? It’s just moving some ink and such around on the paper right?” I asked with concern.

“Ahh yes, but you are not just moving ink around little one, you are also changing it into something else. You are changing the meaning of one thing to another. You see there are many factors that contribute to the mana cost of a spell. The magnitude of the spell is one such. A small flame costs less than a large fireball no? Another factor that can influence the cost is how much thought is required. You see what you need is a spell that can almost think for itself, at least within certain parameters. You need the spell to be able to seek out information and change it to what you want it to be. That is no small task for what we call a spell mind.”

“Um. Can I get, I don’t know. A scroll or something? One time cast thingy? I’m not a good enough caster yet to do that on my own. Probably,” I asked timidly.

After I spoke I realised a scroll or any other physical item wouldn’t be able to help me. Damn, it was going to take me a long time to level up enough to be able to cast this I could tell.

“What you are referring to is a prepared spell. There are several forms they can come in. Scrolls like you say used to be fairly popular, but have fallen out of use after the advent of more practical methods. Modern mages use either carved stones the size of a walnut and carved rods of wood or some other magically active material. Of course the most reliable, and the most painful method, is a spell brand. I do not recommend a spell brand. It is a rather a rather unpleasant way to do things,” he explained.

“How does a spell brand work?” I asked my eyes wide, I had a feeling that one might work.

He looked into my eyes for a long moment, “The spell you wish to be stored is carved onto a piece of stone, or other heat resistant material, and then it is heated until it will sear flesh. The spell is then imprinted directly onto the skin and can be called much like the other methods. It is painful and leaves a scar that you will need a healer to remove,” he told me seriously. He knew I was interested in the spell brand.

“Can I get a spell brand of a spell like that from you? I’m a healer so I could deal with the scar,” I asked him hopefully.

My thinking was that if I had the spell as part of my body it would carry over to the real world.

“Sadly, my dear, I am also not skilled enough to produce such spellcraft. You will need an older and wiser mage than myself to get the spell you seek,” he told me with regret on his features.

“Oh. Where would someone like that be do you think?”

“Want me to send you to my competition do you?” he chuckled, “No one in this town can do what you ask I am afraid. You’ll need to try a much larger town or city for that.”

“Oh. Well.. thank you for explaining that to me. I’ll come back when I have enough money and browse your spellbooks, I promise,” I told him, and I was grateful. His eyes needed to stay put on my face but he was a nice man.

“I’ll look forward to it. May I know your name?”

“Sylanna.”

I nodded politely to him and left the store. Now what? I realised that because of the time dilation effect, I probably had a lot longer than I thought before Col logged in. His mum was known for getting grumpy and making all the children do every chore she could think of.

Maybe I should go back to the inn and log out? I can’t leave the town with the PKers outside, and if I logged out I could tell mum and dad what I’d learned. I decided to do that. Except… shit I had no idea how to get back to the bloody inn. What is so difficult about straight roads and signs? Honestly.

It took me a while, and several dead ends, but I got to the Inn and walked back up to my room where, I logged out.

Taking the helmet off and sitting up, I reached for my phone to check the time. But there was nothing on my nightstand. Hmm. Where was my phone? Getting up I looked for it on my computer desk. Not there. I checked my school uniform shorts. Not there. Where the hell did I put it? OH, it was under the bed! I stepped over to my bed and reached blindly beneath the mattress until my hand touched it.

With phone in hand I looked at the time. 8pm, so yeah there was a very real chance Jeremy was being held up by his mum. The other thing on my phone? I had like, a million notifications. I checked them, it seemed that as well as mum trying to contact me when I didn’t go to school, my friends had been trying to talk to me all day.

I read through them as I made my way out of the room and to the living room. I had a bunch of messages from Dana privately, she seemed worried about my comms blackout. Jeremy had made an effort to talk to me too, and greg had sent a few as well. The group chat had like, 400 messages for me to read through. Ugh. Maybe I can get a summary.

** If you are not reading this on SH, it has been stolen. My author alias is QuietValerie. Come find me! **

When I arrived in the living room it was like someone had started randomly blasting filing cabinets in there. The place was absolutely strewn with paper, a lot of it freshly printed out by the smell of things. Mum sat in the middle of the floor with paper surrounding her and her tablet in her hands. Dad was at the dining table in a similar state, reading through various pages and taking notes on his own tablet.

“Muuum, daaaad, what have you done?” I asked with a little grin on my face. I knew what they were doing. They were both workaholics and they had a job to do regarding my new gender. So naturally they were going at this with all cylinders firing. It was really cute the way they worked together when they had something like this to do. They were a cute couple.

They both looked up at me and dad spoke, “Hey Syl, We’re going over our options for getting you recognised by the powers that be. So far we have a few options, but they would expose what really happened to you. We’re looking for alternatives, because announcing this to the government would paint a target on your back and that will not be pleasant.”

“He’s right. We did consider applying to change your gender on your documents, but no one would ever believe that the girl you are now was previously the boy Sam. I’m afraid we may not have very many options Syl sweetie,” Mum told me, continuing where dad left off.

I gave an anticipatory sigh as I collected my thoughts, “Okay well I might be able to help with that. I spoke to the owner of a store that sold things that related to magic, and he told me that there's a type of spell that can hunt down information and change it to what I want.”

Mum spoke first, “Wow hun that’s pretty incredible. Can you get it?”

“Kinda, it’s a pretty high level spell by the sounds of things, it might take me months to get good enough at magic to be able to use it. I did find a potential solution, apparently there might be a way to brand a spell, prepared by someone who is able to cast it onto my body. I’m hoping that someone that is a part of me will transfer over.” I explained.

“So how would you use this? How is it actually used or applied?” asked dad.

“Uh, I don’t really know. I think I have to have to be pretty near whatever it is I want to change. I think I’d have to go to wherever the government keeps their files, hard and digital copies. Oh and I also need to go to a different city in the game to get it, the one I was in doesn’t have a strong enough caster living there to make the spell.”

“Alright, good work sprite,” said dad with a proud smile, before he turned to mum, “Well if we change our efforts and focus on finding out where the documents that need changing are stored, as well as how we can get Syl close I think that’s our best bet.”

“Yes, I’ll clean up this mess first so we can make more of it,” said mum.

“Okay guys! I’m gonna go back to my game!” I told them as I left the room.

Before I put my helmet back on, I need to reassure my friends i was okay, and maybe tell them that something else was going on. I hope. Jeez I really didn’t want to cut myself again to prove who I was. Not fun, at all. Back in my room I sat on my bed near the wireless charger, since my phone was running low on juice and brought up the messaging app that was currently the cool thing with teenagers. Rather than replying individually I opened the group chat.

Sam: Hey guys, sorry I didn’t reply, I’ve been

Sam: sleeping all day. I feel like poo.

Jeremy: Hey dude are you okay? It’s not serious right?

Sam: Yeah I’m fine it’s just making me really tired and sick and stuff.

Dana: I hope you get better soon. We missed you at school.

Sam: Awwwh thanks Dana :HeartEyes:

Jeremy: Lol someones feeling girly tonight.

Dana: Shut up diiickhead leave him alone :P

Oops, I was letting my newly unmasked feminine nature write things, better tone it down for this conversation.

Sam: It’s fine. I just wanted you guys to know I was okay.

Sam: Also, I kinda wanted to tell you guys something.

Greg: What’s up, you’re not pregnant are you?

OH DEAR. If only you knew greg. That is probably a possibility now.

Dana: Omg you guys are so dumb. Except for you Sam, you’re not dumb.

Jeremy: Let him talk guys shit.

Greg: We’re not talking we’re typing.

Dana: Ffs Greg I swear I’ll dump you.

Greg: I’m sorry, Greg the Dreg sitting down.

I don’t know why, but something about the whole conversation had cut my confidence in telling them down significantly. I knew that, objectively they were good people who wouldn’t mind one bit if I had been turned into a girl and wanted it to stay that way desperately, but shit. It was so nerve wracking. I had been planning to ask them all to meet me here tomorrow for lunch since it was saturday tomorrow.

I had the message all typed out, but I didn’t send it. My thumb just would not press the button. I tried, but I was way too scared. I would never have told anyone I don’t think, if the choice hadn’t been taken from me when mum came barging into my room. I don’t know how I would have dealt with this if she hadn’t forced me to come clean. In the end I couldn’t do it. I deleted what I’d been going to say and wrote something else instead.

Sam: I spawned on the Cragborn Plateau in Pellan. Pretty sure that’s really far from where you guys are now. We might not get to play together for a few weeks at the earliest.

Jeremy: Ahh shit that sucks. Can you try and make a new character and spawn somewhere else?

Greg: Noooo Sam we need you.

Dana: That’s fine if you want to take your time getting over here. We have ages to play this game.

Sam: I don’t really want to change character, I got access to some pretty unique stuff and I wanna keep it.

Jeremy: Ah damn all good then bro. See you when we see you ingame. Hope you feel better soon.

Dana: Yeah, hey I’m going to go log in so talk tomorrow.

Greg: Kk I’ll be on soon Dana got to finish something first.

Jeremy: Yeah I’m finally done with tyrannosaurus mum so I’m gonna log in catch ya Sam.

Jeremy: I got a sweet date with the cutest healer ever.

I groaned. How on earth was I meant to hang out with him and not be weird when he was saying stuff like that. When I told them, I was gonna give him so much shit for it.