To our right were buildings and the clear signs of civilization. To our left were giant trees and forestry. The boat moved smoothly through the water. Terrie stood at the front of the deck and swung her sword, unwilling to relax for 2 hours. The rest of us were in the cockpit with  Tatiana. I took sips from a juice bottle while enjoying the sights. Warm sunlight fell through the glass into the cool cockpit and on the captain’s dashboard. Tatiana sat in her captain’s seat and steered the  boat.
Nikola stared into the thick forestry and spotted a few birds, monsters, and something furry… “So that’s Horn,” she said. “I want to meet some  elven men.”
I was about to correct her, but I didn’t need to; Tatiana spoke for me, “That’s Cavan. Horn is further off. The border’s along the edge of mountain Startlemoon, as established by the treaty of Startlemoon, 1678 S.W.” She spoke like a tour guide.
“Oh,” Nikola said.
“And you can’t sleep with elven men without forming a contract with the Mother Tree. And who wants to do that.” Brigitte shook her head.
“I know plenty of women, human women, who’d formed contracts with the Mother Tree,” Tatiana spoke. “If you’re going to Brynhildmar, you’ll meet some too.”
“Giving up experience points to sleep with a few elven men…” She shook her head. “I can’t make sense of it.”
“People fall in love, Brigitte.” Tatiana could only smile at her staunch rejection of the Mother Tree.
“There’s plenty of human men to fall in love with.” Brigitte couldn’t imagine giving up her experience points to some overgrown tree.
Tatiana smiled, and I joked, “Hey, you can sleep with them without forming a contract if you know how to run.”
“That’s suicide.” Brigitte frowned. Yeah, this isn’t a game and one against the world is suicide.
“I know, I know, I’m joking.” I smiled. “But I do have a way, another way. Trust me, you’ll all get to sleep with elven men.” I had plans.
“Really?” Nikola’s eyes gleamed, eager to hump some elven boys.
“Yes,” I smiled.
Brigitte, still frowning, said, “I’m not forming a stupid contract with the tree.”
“No.” She still refused to believe me. “There are other contracts than the one you’re thinking of. Contracts that don’t take a percentage of your experience points every time you sleep with men.” I guessed there  was no harm in revealing some of my knowledge to them.
“I’ve never heard of that,” Tatiana said.
“Ah… It’s rare, but if you can get an audience with the Mother Tree, you  can form other types of contracts.” I was leaving out a lot, but that was the gist of it.
“And how did you find this out?” Tatiana, like everyone else, was sceptical.
“Ah…” This is why I don’t like talking. “I read it in a book.”
“Hmm…” Tatiana scrutinized me. “I don’t know how much you can believe stuff you read in a book.”
“Ah… this was kind of credible.” I scratched my head, not wanting to further this conversation. So I quickly tried to change the topic, “Anything interesting in the news?”
“Hmm…” All three of them hummed, and Brigitte brought the conversation right back where it was, “Yeah, I don’t know how much you can believe stuff like that. If there are other contracts, why would the elven women choose to give up experience points?”
“Maybe the other contracts are worse!” Nikola opined, and I thought: you’re not helping.
“It’s not…” I lost the interest to explain. “Never mind. Forget I said anything!” The elves didn’t choose a contract from a menu of contracts. You need to negotiate with the Mother Tree. I knew of a way to deal with the corrosive fungus growing on the Mother Tree, which is one of the  most significant quests in the Forest of Horn. These were all things I didn’t want to explain to them because if I tried, they’d only ask me more questions.
Tatiana noticed my discomfort and helped me change the topic, “The demons are gathering along the edge of the Sun mountains. At least, that’s what I read in yesterday’s newspaper.” So the prelude to the war is here. The Sun mountains are unclaimed land between the Forest of Horn and the Demon Queendom; it was the border itself. The northern border.
“If the demons claim it, it’ll only lead to war.” Terrie came into the cockpit, wiping off the sweat on her forehead. She’d read the news too and had opinions on it.
“Finished training?” I asked.
“Just taking a small break.” She sat down.
“They’ll never claim it. It’s stupid.” Brigitte refused reality while I already knew they’d claim it. “It’s a land of monsters. They’ll be stupid to even try. The elves are the last thing they’ll have to worry about when Caterpillavers are attacking them in hordes.”
“Yeah, I don’t see it happening either, but they are gathering along the  Sun mountains,” Terrie said. “But if they claim it, they’ll be right at  the Horn.” Terrie shook her head. “The Mother Tree would never allow that, especially with the demons.”
“You’re worrying too much; they’re gathering the army to protect against monster attacks.”
“It’s not winter, and who needs 2 generals and 40000 women for something like that?”
“Maybe they want to strengthen the borders. Plenty of monster attacks happen year around.”
“I don’t think they’ll send 2 generals over for something like that.” Terrie shook her head.
“So, you think there’ll be a war?” Brigitte shook her head.
“I don’t know, but I don’t see what else they’d gather for. And all this happens right after the new queen comes into power.”
“There’s a new demon queen?” Nikola questioned.
“It’s been 2 years, so maybe not entirely new.” Terrie corrected herself. “She already attacked Yeti mountain, so I don’t see why she wouldn’t attack the Sun mountains.” Three mountain ranges stood between the Demon Queendom and the rest of the continent.
“Yeti’s are Demons. She didn’t attack them; they welcomed her in.” Brigitte said.
“Okay, I shouldn’t have brought this up.” Tatiana regretted bringing up the subject in the first place.
“You’re not serious.” Terrie couldn’t believe it. “Yeti’s are monsters. They’re part of the monster race. Demons have horns.”
“Goat folk have horns, so does onis. You think they’re all demons? And vampires have no horns; you think they’re part of the monster race?” Brigitte was firing her mouth off.
“Okay, I misspoke. Not all demons have horns, but Yeti are monsters.”
“And how do you figure that!?”
“Why do you think they welcomed her?” I interjected into the middle of their argument. It was pretty much common knowledge to everyone in the Minkin Queendom that the Yeti mountains were attacked and conquered.
“It was reported in The Twilight Times.”
“Okay, I really shouldn’t have brought this up.” Tatiana was really regretting it now.
“Yeah, I don’t read the Queen’s propaganda.”
“So you’re not a fan of the current queen, I assume.” I smiled.
“Fuck no.” Was her answer.
“So you think they really welcomed her in and just accepted her as their new queen?” Terrie asked.
“You think she conquered it by force?”
“Yes.”
“Then why isn’t there a war? Why isn’t the Goblin Queen attacking back?”
“They did attack back. There’s a war going on right now in Bigfoot Ridge.”
“That’s…” Brigitte was stomped for a moment but returned with, “That’s not a real war.”
“Yes, it is. You want to call it a battle?” Terrie couldn’t understand her.
She shook her head. “But the Goblin Queen isn’t serious. She isn’t putting any real generals into the fight. She knows the Bigfoot folk don’t want to stay in the empire.”
“That’s just not true.” Terrie shook her head.
“Alright, guys, we won’t know what’ll happen to the Sun mountains till it happens.” I was getting tired of listening to them. “All we can do is prepare. Whatever happens, happens,” I said, even though I knew what’d happen.
“Yeah, what happens, happens.” Brigitte nodded. “There’s no point in us arguing about it.” I was glad Brigitte agreed.
The boat became palpably silent with how the conversation ended. We enjoyed the scenery again. A boat passed by us in the opposite direction; there were kids in it who waved to us.
I thought aloud, “You know we’ll have to go to the Sun mountains in the near future.” The phoenix lived in the Sun mountains, and I needed its feather to fuck the fairy king.
“We do?” Nikola questioned.
“Why?” Brigitte asked.
I guess there’s no harm in telling them. They’ll eventually need to know. “I need the phoenix’s feather.”
“Why do you need phoenix feathers?” Tatiana inquired.
“Ahm… I just do, okay.” I grunted. “Yeah, that’s what we’ll be doing after we get the skill books.”
“Skill books?” Terrie thought aloud.
“Ah… never mind.” I forgot they had no idea what was in the unnamed dungeon. Skill books are essential as you level up; I already have to wait 5 levels for a spell; if I leave it alone, I’ll only have a few spells by level 100. Though you can be powerful even without a lot of spells… “That reminds me, we might need to stop by Aclapia on our way back.” [pocket space], [pocket dimension], and spells of that nature are relatively common, and I was hoping to get it using [envy], but it’s  been over 2 months, and I still don’t have it. There’s a craftswoman in  Aclapia with [pocket dimension]… I didn’t want to make a special stop  just for that spell, but if I needed to…
“Aclapia?” Tatiana asked, looking to the west of the river. “We’ll be passing Aclapia in a few minutes.”
“Yeah,” I shook my head, “you don’t need to stop now. If we need to, we’ll stop on the way back.” I haven’t been hanging around adventurers or magicians, so that’s probably why I haven’t spotted anyone with it… I was still hoping to run into someone with it during the trip. Then I won’t need to make an extra stop at Aclapia.
“Okay.” Tatiana agreed. “What’s in Aclapia?”
“Ah… just stuff.”
“Stuff?” She raised an eyebrow.
I shrugged.
She shook her head.