"So here we are! A small cafe in the middle of nowhere!" It was a tiny building filled with tables and chairs. I looked out the window to see nothing but a green plain, besides one window which led to a small area with a grey ground and a road that wasn't dirt. This is nothing like what I saw through the portal. "That's because portals are liars. Never trust a portal."

"What if it's a portal to the house of the Brewing Witch?"

"That's a door, not a portal."

"So you can trust a door, not a portal?"

"No, don't trust doors either. Especially one that leads to the Brewing Witch. She's the one that made Merida go cray-cray."

"She is?!"

"No, I lied. Since I'm a portal."

"Oh. Where do you go?"

"Nowhere, I'm not a fucking portal."

"Why are you lying to me so much?"

"Why do you believe me each time?"

"Because lying is bad, so there's no way anyone would lie."

"That's fucking stupid."

"You're fucking stupid."

"If I were fucking stupid, it'd be you!"

"But I'm not stupid!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Can you two shut the fuck up?!" We turned to see a waiter standing beside our table, a pen in one hand and a small notebook in the other, with a highly annoyed look on his face. "Fucking Mendass natives. Either you two shut the fuck up, or I'll kick you through the door back to your world with the exit being at the edge of Hamblin. Got it?"

"Oh… okay," I replied, while Myka stayed quiet.

"Good, now, what will you two order?"

"I'll take a coffee and cake. Feel free to choose whatever."

"I'll have a… what do they have here, Myka?"

"Give the maid a glass of water."

"Oh, okay."

"So a glass of water, a cup of coffee, and a cake surprise. Got it." The waiter wrote the order down and then went into the kitchen.

"I've been thinking," Myka put her elbows on the table and rested her head upon her hands. "I'm doing a terrible job of destroying everything, aren't I?"

"Considering the only thing I've seen you destroy is your sister that was trapped in a card, one of my daggers, and your own clothing, then yes, you have done a terrible job."

"Wait, my own clothing?" She looked down at her clothes, which were riddled with holes due to all the spears that had previously impaled her. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? I'm basically naked… or were you enjoying the view?"

"No, not really. You have a good body, but you're not the target of my love or lust."

"Even though I'm a daughter?"

"Okay, maybe a little bit of my lust."

"Can I just say, that whole fucking a daughter side goal you have? It is very stupid."

"Says the person who wants to destroy everything."

"Touche. Speaking of that, I'm thinking of not doing that."

"What made you change your mind?"

"Well, going around with you has made me realise that with you around, that plan is annoying to do."

"What was your plan?"'

"So like… you know how Mel is from another world, right?"

"Yeah."

"A world like ours would be a story in theirs."

"That explains the random things that don't make sense that she says sometimes."

"By the way, she ain't the only otherworlder. Did you know there's a whole organisation of them? Let me tell you, they hold the best parties."

"Woah… wait, how do you know that?"

"I attended one. That otherworld cuisine is just delicious. Also, the lemonade, which is made with lemons, the only thing from the otherworld that isn't in ours. I'm guessing the creator has a grudge against lemons. By the way, lemons are these yello-"

"Yellow sour fruits, I know."

"What the fuck? How do you know what a lemon is?"

"I met the spirit of a lemon tree once, in the middle of the Chaos Storm."

"Wow… so you remembered that."

"It was unforgettable. I now hold a grudge against lemons."

"I don't get you."

"I think it's straightforward. I don't like lemons."

"No, no, I don't get all of you."

"Oh, we're having a serious discussion now."

"I'm going to be honest. I thought this whole destruction thing would be easy. I have an overpowered ability, you guys have no actual counter, and all I had to do was spoil some important stuff. Yet, somehow, you've made me feel like I can't do shit. Fucking narratives, I tell you."

"You believe we're in a story like Mel?"

"You think we're not?"

"Well, I can see you, clearly. Brown, fluffy ears I like to touch, eyes I can see because you're wearing a blindfold, and massive tits. By the way, are those because of your reality manipulating powers, or just natural?"

"Oh god, I've finally realised why my plan has been so slow."

"What is it?"

"You! You keep going all over the place! There are like seventy billion different things I want to address, but you throw them to the side for your funny shenanigans! Man, why couldn't I get a hero who'd react normally?"

"Define normally."

"Well, for one, they wouldn't interject and let the villain fucking monologue."

"Guess what, I'm Madeleine, not a hero. The Hero is dead, and I saw him get assassinated."

"I'm not ever going to have a serious conversation with you, am I?"

"Don't worry, that's how it usually is."

"I'm just going to speedrun this whole thing then. I'm going to teleport us to a bunch of people, explain their importance, blah blah blah, then it's revealed it's all a fucking dream. End me. Oh yeah, here's your fucking Sacred Power holder." She snapped her fingers, summoning a random person. She immediately grabbed their neck, snapped it, and then dropped the corpse in front of me, the head right under mine, with blank dead eyes. Makes sense. They were just killed. Time to stare at them.

What is cli-

"Nope, not letting you finish that thought. We're out of here." And boom, we're gone.

"Okay, your cake, coffee, and glass… and they're gone. I fucking hate those Mendass natives."

Character profile: Loakee Jaspers

Sacred power: Trickery

Favourite trick: Making people believe he disconnected his finger, only to reveal he didn't, to further reveal he did.

Description: The trickster brother of a family of Sacred Power holders. Trickery is an esoteric Sacred Power, even by Sacred Power standards. It is a gift by a god from another world, whose name is very close to the current holder of Trickery. The current holder, Loakee, is a travelling street performer who has gained a reputation for doing tricks no one can figure out. If you can figure out his trick, you are offered a chance to learn many more of his tricks, but so far, only two people have been able to do this. Known worldwide due to his talents, his sudden disappearance remains a mystery. Unlike most disappearances, which are easily solved by the many powerful beings within Mendass, his was never solved. One theory is that this is his greatest trick, where he makes people believe he existed in the first place, cementing him into the book of world myths.

Chapter namesake: Friend by bo en

pojlk

Sorry for the late chapter. I thought I had time before I suddenly found out I was at a birthday party, which meant I didn't have time. That and I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. Well, I have less of an idea than before, which is saying something, because I... I'm going to stop typing now.