Knock knock. Knockity knock knock knock. Knock rhymes with clock and also shock. If you pronounce it in a certain way, you can also rhyme it with fuck. Knock knock.

"Maid, I can sense your presence behind the door. Please answer it."

Knocking on wood. Knocking up a widow in a rural village. Knocking out the gladiatorial champion. Knock knock patty knock. 

"I'm going to blow up your door."

Knocking on Heaven's door. Knocking shocked locks with a jock clock. Why is the k silent?

At that moment, the door dissolved, melting while acid spread throughout it. Through a hole in the wall, I could see the culprit. A wholly white cloak with cute cat ears on top of them and a hand holding a stick from the side of the road… actually, it's a staff. My bad. Seems familiar, though.

"Hi there, Maid. I am the sorceress Maxine, and I wish to employ the service of your so-called Sacred Power specialist company."

"Oh, the sorceress from that dead elf tribe! What was it called again? Ratia? Leere? Ecron?"

"Those are different dead elf tribes. The one I was temporarily part of was Patras, the one with the twin sisters."

"Oh yeah, that really bloody one. Man, that was so many red weapons impaled into a singular body. I'm still amazed at how many different ways you can stab one body."

"That sounds very gruesome. May I come in?"

"I have no idea. There's no one in the house right now, they're all off to look for Merida, who is basically our boss, and they don't trust me enough to handle anyone who comes over. They were like, 'Remember Madeleine, don't open the door for strangers, don't bring in any delivered packages, and don't go out on your own.' There is someone else here too, but she isn't trusted either."

"Aren't you a maid? Shouldn't you be trained to deal with those things?"

"Oh, I'm definitely trained, I think."

"Well, it doesn't matter. We can just discuss my reason for being here outside."

"So, what is it?"

"I would like to hire your services. There is a Sacred Power holder I have been tasked to deal with, but it appears my client severely underestimated the target."

"Ooh, how hard was the underestimation? Does the target's Sacred Power give them perfect defence? Their body is made of fire? It's really hard to find them? The tea they make is really bad?"

"The target can turn themselves into a God temporarily."

"Oh… I'll get Mimi."

"Well, that was easy."

He sure was a God. He managed to raise an entire village into the sky. Maxine had to do some air magic to let us fly up to it. Up in the village, there were a bunch of floating things. Floating houses, floating cows, floating naked lizard beastfolk. They could use wings, that'd make them cooler. This whole thing reminds me of the Chaos Storm. In the middle of all the floating was the target, sitting down on a floating throne, gloating to no one but himself. 

He was able to conjure up lightning bolts, throw entire fields, control nearly one hundred swords simultaneously, and so much more. In fact, he demonstrated many things for me when I asked. Yeah, I went up to a God and asked him to do party tricks for me. Mimi and Maxine chose to hide away while I went up to ask, thinking I was a lost cause. 

He did a lot of things for me. He made a complete replica of Mel for me, although I had to ask him to delete her after I had a philosophical debate with a shadow clone. Other things he did for me include but were not limited to, were: creating an indestructible mask, moving a nearby mountain, telling me the location of three nearby Sacred Power holders, finding my watch I lost two days ago, telling me how many fingers I was holding behind my back, telling me my chances of getting together with a bunch of people I know (Turns out I'm quite the seducer), telling me the day of the week, and finally, giving me a cup of tea. The cup of tea was a solid 6/10, it was clearly created by an amateur, but at least it was drinkable.

You're probably wondering, how was this easy if he was seemingly really powerful? His power was for a limited time, so after doing a bunch of things for me, he just dropped to the ground, after which Mimi paralysed him. Maxine did some magic wagic stuff for extra measure to tie him up. All according to plan… definitely.

"YOU WILL PAY FOR DARING TO GO AGAINST THE GOD OF GO- MMFFPPHHMMSS!!!" His mouth was sealed shut with some nearby hay, which should suck. Hay tastes bad. 

"So… this was significantly easier than I thought…." Maxine scooted over to Mimi. "Is it always like this with her?"

"No idea. After my single go with her, I tried avoiding going a second time. The usual babysitter, Mel, is away on a mission right now, and besides Mel, only two others actually like going with the maid. Three if we count the dragon as a person."

"Ah, I see. How does this Mel deal with this?"

"I dunno. Love or some shit. That doesn't matter, though," Mimi stretched out her hand, "payment. We did the job."

"Yeah, yeah." The sorceress snapped her fingers, and a bag of gold fell into the catgirl's hand, who quickly hugged it and jumped for joy before suddenly stopping.

"There's one last thing."

"Is gold not enough?"

"You've got to let the maid look into the eye of whatever Sacred Power holder we've dealt with."

"Oh… well, go ahead."

"Yippee! I wonder what a God's eyes feel like to stare at… mmm…"

"Is she salivating?"

"I feel like she's gotten weirder. I should've just gone on the mission instead of staying home."

I hopped on over to the restrained God, forcefully made him look at me, and smiled. Smiling is important.

Oh, it's a fake god. I kicked the phoney god in the gut and then walked away. I want to go home and have some tea. 

"I… might hire your services again… maybe not."

"I'd understand if you don't. Thanks for the gold." And so we went back home.

Character profile: God of Gods (Real name: Gareth)

Sacred power: Godmodder

Number of fights against a God won: 0

Description: A cheating bastard in a world filled to the brim with scum and scoundrel. Gareth was your average megalomaniacal noble's son stuck in Mendass. His quick-to-anger temper and violent tantrums made him very unpopular in his own household. Soon, he found himself banished and stripped of his family name, dropped off in a random village in a faraway country. This angered him, so he took his anger out on the village, assaulting any villager who passed him and destroying local property. A man in a pinstripe suit happened to be nearby and struck a deal with Gareth. He would allow Gareth to become a God of Gods, but only if Gareth bested fifty Gods in combat, or else in a year, Gareth would be reduced to nothing but ingredients for a being beyond. Gareth shook the man's hand only two days before Madeleine met him.

Chapter namesake: God Mode by Sons of Amon

pojlk

I'll be going on a road trip for the weekend, meaning I won't be able to release a chapter for a few days, so yeah. In the meantime, answer this poll, I guess (I've just remembered polls exist).