Chapter 5: Chocolate

My next appointment with my caseworker Ms Clark happened nine days later, by my count. My count… In my cell’s unchanging darkness, I’d used my routine of meals and sleep to discern the days, but there had been doubts. What if my jailors had been messing with my sense of time? My contact with Kelly had put those doubts to rest.

I know she never gave me an exact date for her next visit, but at five days I had started expecting her. At seven days I was getting impatient and at eight days I was getting worried and disappointed. I had been starting to think she was the latest in a line of authority figures who either hated me or didn’t care enough to remember me.

Then on what was probably the morning of the ninth day as I sat at my desk and waited for my routine interrogation to begin, I heard the elevator ding, followed by familiar footsteps on the hard concrete floor.

 I rushed to my cell’s barred entrance as Ms Clark came into view. “You came back!” I cried out. I surprised by my own reaction.

“Looks like young Robin is excited to see me, ay,” the caseworker said smiling before she muttered something extra. “But I guess I‘m the only person they let you see. That is wrong…”

“Its ok, Ms Clark! I am just happy to see you again,” I reassured, before pivoting topics, “Did you find anything!?” 

“Calm yuself Robin, I was able to confirm that there was a John Doe Smuth in the fostah system, but he had not been reported missing,” she started

“I called up the school he had been going to ayd they confirmed that he had not been to class sunce the day before the Emergence. Sunce he was over sixteen, they only had to notify his guardians, that he was a truant, instead of the state. The school said his guardians, the Andersons had told them he had decided to drop out. I thunk they planned to hush up he were gone so they could keep claiming the foster checks until his eighteenth birthday.”

“Those fucking bastards!” I found myself, growling and for a second I swore I could feel the bars bending under my grip. They had also spent the barest minimum when raising me, often leaving me in charity box clothes and going to school without lunch money, while they spent the foster checks on themselves.

I should have realised they wouldn’t have let their kicking me onto the streets or my going missing, disrupt their hustle.

Ms Clark to her credit, just waited for me to calm down before probably breaking all the rules and placing her hand over one of mine as I gripped the cell bars.

“It seems suspicious to me ayd when I went to the residence of the Andersons ,they tried to claim John Smuth was out but still living there, until I threatened to call police ayd suggested thus may turn into a murder investigation. The two of them quickly changed their tune, but instead claimed you ran away on the night of the Apocalypse,” Ms Clark grimaced slightly.

“Utterly unpleasant people, at least the fostah payments have now stopped ayd they have been referred to the IRS for fraud… Good Riddance,” she said, brushing her hands on the sides of her suit skirt as if they had suddenly been dirtied.

I wanted to voice my spiteful joy at their situation, they were finally getting theirs, but the words stuck in my throat for me to dry swallow.

“Anyway, since it was a suburban area during the day, we didn’t have any footage or witnesses of Mr Smuth’s flight from home. However tracing backwards from the incident wuth Mr Jakob Adler we were able to trace yur trip all the way back to a park, using various sources of cctv ayd other cameras. Now thus is the important part,” I felt her give my hand a reassuring squeeze. 

“We have no footage of yu entering the park. We do however have poor footage of a male individual, roughly matching a description of Mr John Doe Smuth ayd the clothes he was wearing when he left school that day, running into that park in the rain. Wuth no footage of him leaving. Given this footage, the other evidence ayd that all of this matches yur account of events. By the new guidelines we were able to confirm yu, Robin Wrath ayd John Doe Smuth are one ayd the same. I even took the initiative to update yur name ayd other details. Yu’re now official, Robin.”

My cheeks felt wet. I opened my mouth and found I couldn’t speak. My chest felt tight. I tried to take a breath and found myself choking back a sob. I was crying? Raising a finger to my face, I caught a tear that had been rolling down my cheek. I was crying. I hadn’t cried in years. Why now? I’m not sad, I think?

I felt a hand gently stroking my hair and looked up to find Ms Clark making soothing noises.
“There, there. Let it all out. Yu must have been holding all that in for some time. I am sure yu are relieved to have yur past back.”

“Now, I wasn’t able to bring yu a cake, the guards might have thought I was smuggling you a file, ay. But I brought yu a little something to celebrate becoming official,” reaching into her handbag again she pulled out two large bars of wrapped candy. A bar of Hershey’s milk chocolate and a bar of Reese’s peanut butter cups.

“Thank you!” I was crying harder now. 

“I hate to leave yu when you’re crying even when they are happy, relieved tears. But, unfortunately I have to go. I’ll see yu in about a week again, hopefully I’ll have more good news then.”

I sniffled out a goodbye, then listened as she walked off to the elevator.

* * *

I had almost brought myself back under control and stopped crying, I heard Kelly’s muffled whispers as she tried to get my attention. Pulling myself together, I climbed up onto the desk and removed the rags, I was using as a makeshift plug to hide our hole. 

“Sorry, I’m late Kelly…” I sniffled.

“You’ve been crying, what’s up? That interrogator call you a freak again? You know you are not!” I could see Kelly getting herself worked up, angry on my behalf. I guess it was kinda a big deal, given that she’d never seen me cry the entire time we had known each other. She’d done a lot of crying in those seven weeks, and I’d done none.

Not a single tear, couldn’t even when I’d wanted to.

“No Kelly! I’m happy I think…” Her face had disbelief written across it as she gave ‘dont bullshit me’ look. 

Apparently my stoicism wasn’t healthy, Kelly had said as much more than once. And gods forbid if I were to tell her ‘Don’t worry about me because I’m used to this sorta treatment.’ Last time I said that she threw me a baleful glare through our hole, followed by an exasperated ‘That’s not a good thing!’

“No… Seriously. Ms Clark came. She managed to prove who I am. She also made the name you gave me, official. And I have a surprise for you, close your eyes and hold you hand out!”
I opened the two bars of chocolate and broke off a bit of each. Reaching up through our hole, I placed the bits of chocolate in her hand.

“Chocolate! She brought you chocolate! I’ve really missed this,” Kelly softly squealed trying not to attract any attention.

“Yeah she brought me some to celebrate getting my identity and new name in order. And yes I’m going to share it with you! To keep your spirits up till we get you out of here!”

“Get Us out of here. Us! I’m not leaving you behind Robin!” Kelly was always vehement on this when the subject came up. I’m not sure exactly when it became serious, but eventually our talks of what we wanted to do if we got out of here, morphed into talks about what we will do WHEN we get out of here and then to an unspoken agreement to escape.

I wanted to get her out of here as soon as I could, she didn’t deserve to be here. She hadn’t hurt anyone and she definitely didn’t deserve the torment they were putting her through. So I planned to help her break out. 

The thing is I wasn’t sure I wanted to escape. I’d help her escape, but not myself. I was bored sure, but they fed me two square meals a day, gave me a bed to sleep on, I had this comforting darkness and down here I couldn’t hurt anyone. Not to mention if we escaped she had her family and Kalia, plus she looked normal. 

Even If I’d hated my former male beansprout physique with pale skin, brown hair, I’d taken for granted the benefits of being normal. Blending in. Not sticking out. The only thing I had that was interesting were my former bright blue eyes. I’d gotten a monkey’s paw of a deal.

I had no one outside, I looked like a monster and could be easily recognised if I escaped. Then there was the fact, I wouldn’t be able to pursue my life goals of finishing school and going to university, if I was a wanted fugitive.

“If we are going to break out, I can knock out the guards and the electricity, then blast any walls in our way. You know where we are?”

“Well I’ve seen the inside of the elevator when they take me for my... “ Kelly trailed off. Talking about the sessions that left her broken was almost impossible for her.
“In the elevator, this floor is B1. There is only one floor below mine, B2, your floor. We are in the basement underground. Their buttons are hidden behind a false panel. Above us is the ground floor, where they take me is the floor above that.”

“So best option is I’d have to blast my way into your cell, then blast our way into the floor above and then outside. That is going to make a lot of noise. If It didn’t I would of blasted a hole big enough to climb into your cell already… I’m sick of only being able to hold hands…” I was grumbling by the end of it. 

I really wanted to cuddle her, the concrete between us be damned!

“What if we tried something else? Like sneak a message out, slip a note into the rubbish, steal a phone or somehow morse code… Dammit If Kalia knew we were here she could disguise herself as a guard and break us out! We could likely walk out as three guards and they would be none the wiser about our escape till we were long gone!” Kelly sounded so enthusiastic, as she started imagining ever more impossible escape plots.

Her enthusiasm was replaced by a somber expression.

"I wasn't meant to know about her abilities... I never told her, but I followed her to the mall when she wanted to sneak in alone. I was insecure... I saw her disguise herself, make herself look older, more human. Y'know less foxgirl, no fluffy ears or tail. She even changed the colour of her hair and clothes. I’m not sure if it was a trick, magic or she is some kind of shapeshifter, but it was amazing."

I had to smile, she seemed to think the world of her friend Kalia and I knew if I ever got out of here I’d have to meet this small fox.