The Infamous "I Can't" Page

 

[Included are two full side direct reproductions of a sheet of standard white printing paper with the words "I Can't" written over and over until every square inch is covered in the words "I Can't" It is followed by a page with four smaller versions of the page, front and back, under x-ray and ultraviolet. Besides some irregularities due to the page was obviously once crumpled up into a ball, nothing unusual is displayed]

 

The infamous "I Can't" page. Reproduced here faithfully by yours truly. These are fresh pictures taken by my own hand. I had the privilege of personally removing it from it's hermetically sealed container and taking the photographs myself. I also resealed it, for you conspiracy buffs out there, so nobody can claim that it was switched out or anything like that.

 

And contrary to popular belief, it isn't in a special containment facility. It isn't watched twenty three seven by two men at all times to make sure that the proper containment rites are read in the advent that the evil is unleashed once more.

 

I haven't watched the movies created by The PULP network, because honestly I don't see the appeal.

 

As you can see from the copies of the page, along with the x-ray and ultraviolet scans, nothing unusual is to be found on the page, save the "Day 533" impression, which I will get into later. There are no secret patterns to be found in the page. There are no arcane rites to be used to unleash that-which-should-not-be.

 

You might be wondering why I am bringing it up here. I will clarify in a bit, but let us review what we know about the page.

 

Originally the paper was found by the first expedition to the island that uncovered the Quonset garage. An intern was attempting to uncover evidence from a file cabinet found inside the ice covered building when the building collapsed and he was killed. In his hand was found the "I Can't" page. The only page found written by someone's hand other than The Quonset Manager.

 

The writing supplies match the time period of the Quonset manager, but the hand writing is clearly by someone with a much more elegant hand writing style then the manager, and by someone possessing all of their fingers. It isn't dated although we have managed to determine that someone wrote journal entries on top of this paper. Specifically, Day 533.

 

I believe this was written on day 534.

 

Now this is as good a place to address the conspiracy theory that the page is cursed.

 

Despite the many rumors and documentations, there are no other deaths directly connected to the page. Yes, the expedition was cut short, but only by three days and the "unusual storm" was actually fairly usual and to be expected. It's arrival by three days prior to it's predicted arrival happens sometimes. Weather prediction isn't an exact science.

 

After the story's cultural popularity bloomed, rumors and stories circled about of the page. The expedition backers did not have 100% altruistic intentions and the demand to recoup losses were high. When they heard that the page was going viral and had captured the imagination of the net, the backers created the "leak" of all the "data" that "proved" the page's cursed natures.

 

Which in my opinion was criminal. Less then a year later a trio of impressionable teenagers killed themselves in a suicide pact and one of the notes left behind was just the words "I Can't" written over and over. This resulted in three copy cats over the years, but the rumors expanded the number to dozens. If you are to believe the net, there are piles and piles of dead bodies from suicide and mysterious deaths due to the curse of the "I Can't" page.

 

None of that happened, of course.

 

Then The PULP network came out with it's "Dramatic Re-imagining" of the Quonset Manager and the fate of the expedition. In the movie "I Can't" it proceeded to jump back and forth between the events in the past and the present. It took many liberties, such as the entire expedition was killed and no bodies were found on their boat, except for a severed hand holding the bloody crumpled up note.

 

As far as Lovecraftian horror movies go, I am told it is rather well made. I tried watching it once and simply could not stomach it. It had action, horror, and romance. The two leads who played the Quonset manager and Jennifer got romantically involved and were going to be married when their aircraft suffered engine failure and crashed. This is not unusual, given for the time period. Experimental aircraft that used aurora energy were just being put into service and capacitor reliability had not been fully established. That sort of tragic coincidence only fueled the hype around what was by all accounts a labor of love by a break out director.

 

Of course everyone says the first one is the best. When the director lost control of the franchise he sold off his interest in the IP and after that the sequels are rated mediocre at best, a dumpster fire at worst. The story line got increasing muddled with explosions, tentacle monsters and CGI demons. Unfortunately it had gathered quite a cult following and the net is full of fan fiction and dreck.

 

Contrary to popular belief, the original page is not in a secret government facility. In fact, it is in a case that is sealed and filled with argon gas. The case is in a drawer right next to my desk where I, at this very moment, sit and type this book. In fact, I just opened it and looked inside to make sure that it's still there.

 

The words didn't flow off the page and cover my arms. There is the unholy faux Latin chanting that echoes in the room when I give the case a shake, but that sort of thing happens all the time around here. You can hardly stir a coffee mug without hearing the wails of the damned.

 

I am joking of course. The irony being I need to clarify that I am joking.

 

There are some indirect connections to the page, but the embellishment has gotten way out of hand. I wish to dispel those myths.

 

We have only one death directly connected to the page, and two deaths connected to the movie. All three are explainable by other factors. There is no curse on the "I Can't" page. Period.

 

So let us get to the page itself.

 

There is no pattern in the page save the words "I Can't" written over and over in the hand of someone else other than the Quonset Manager. It appears to have been written in the same time period and that entry Day 533 was written on top of it. In fact, I would go so far as to dare claim that the hand writing of the word "Day 533" was in the same hand writing style as the "I Can't" page. Unfortunately, some of my colleges would disagree, claiming we can't make such a conclusion from the evidence, but I find the images to be quite compelling. I do not believe that Day 533 was written on top of this page by the Quonset Manager's hand.

 

Of course my conclusion is very controversial, considering it strengthens my claim that Jennifer was real.

 

Which of course brings us to the page itself. Why? Why did the author pen a page of "I Can't" over and over, front and back, in very small letters, using a very rare resource like an ink pen, only to crumple it up and hide it in the back of a file cabinet? Theories range from it was just a child who's parent's worked there previous to the Event and the child just did it because... child.

 

Another theory is that it is the Quonset manager testing out writing in a different style as part of his delusion that Jennifer existed. If this theory is correct, then this was just one of many pages where he wrote the same words or phrases over and over in an attempt to train his hand to write in a new style. Of course, why would you write just "I Can't" of all things, is not explained by people who promote this theory. Their answer is, because... crazy.

 

I am convinced, admittedly by circumstantial evidence, that this is in fact the hand writing of Jennifer and constitutes the only tangible writing by her hand that we have managed to find to date. All other pages that were "written" by her were copies reproduced and hidden in various cairns around the island by the Manager in his desire to "fax" the entries to his mythical superiors.

 

Which still doesn't address the answer question of, "Why?" What was it that she "can't" do?

 

We might never know exactly what the reason was, however, having studied the writings as much as I have, I believe I know why.

 

At that time period she was recalling the events that lead up to her arrival at the Quonset Garage. It is believed that there are a number of events that were simply too much for her to handle at the time, hence why many lines are scribbled out. Its strange that the manager copied the scribbles, but not the words under the scribbles. Alas, because we don't have the original, we cannot analyze the page to figure out what words were scribbled out. However, I have noticed that there are some inconsistency in her story.

 

I believe that the port city of Namu was where Jennifer took shelter that first year, however the population should have been much more then what she claimed. I believe that Jennifer's numbers are only close to correct, if we remove all children from the town. I suspect that Jennifer had a mental block in her mind about the number of children who died over that year. Of course there are other's who try to place her "port in the storm" in other cities, claiming that the location is too far off the highway and that her accounting of events simply do not match up with any maps of the area.

 

I suspect she is remembering things wrong on purpose.

 

Furthermore, this port could have been her destination, since at the time a ferry regularly traveled between that port and Vancouver. It would have been expensive, but if she was driving legally at that time, she'd have no problem using a taxable and monitored service, such as a ferry.

 

This does bring up the fact that no record of OTR trucking exists. In fact, the term OTR means Over The Road, a common abbreviation. It'd be like a TV station calling itself TV television. However, we know that OTR was a very shady organization that dealt with illegal transport of oversized and overweight cargo in an attempt to avoid paying taxes and permit fees. It's quite possible the organization can't be found because it never really existed on paper and was just a scam front company from the get go. Alas, we may never determine the truth of this matter.

 

Suffice to say, if my theory was correct, I believe that on day 534, Jennifer had a breakdown. By our other records it is believed that the Quonset Manager was at the Radio Hut awaiting the arrival of an aurora to begin his third radio transmission. So whatever crisis Jennifer was going through, she was going through it alone.

 

This might be why she wrote "I Can't" over and over. I believe she was telling herself not to commit suicide. I believe at that moment a number of memories she had pushed out of her mind had returned in force and the thoughts overwhelmed her. I believe the Quonset Manager was dealing with his own demons at the time and unable to help her, hence why he left, but he had enough presence of mind to take the bullets with him.

 

At least this is the impression I get. It seems to be part of her "personality" and how she might deal with issues. The crumpled up paper was simply thrown in a cabinet to hide it and then was forgotten. The crisis had passed and she had moved on.

 

Unless we uncover more documentation from Jennifer herself, we may never know the reason for the "I Can't" page. There is one other possibility, one that nobody likes, but must be stated, in the interests of complete coverage of this topic.

 

It is possible Jennifer was just bored and she was doodling.