Chapter 10 – Reflections of Distance.

If there was one positive aspect to the car, it was that it was quiet, the electric engine a low hum in the background. No noisy engine growling at them, drowning out their words when they tried to talk. Not that he necessarily wanted to talk at the moment either. Fraser had to admit that it was comfortable as well, as one would expect from a car that likely cost a small fortune, but that was where the positives ended. It belonged to his family, the driver one of his parents’ servants that he recognised, but couldn’t name. There was a solid sheet of sound-proof glass between them and him, the speaker turned off, but he wouldn’t have put it past his parents to circumvent that anyways. He had long since lost any trust in anyone in the employ of his parents.

His nervousness and fear at what would happen when they returned was already on the rise. Confidence was a fleeting thing, especially when reality reared its ugly head, and memories tore at him. Fraser squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on the feeling of the ring on his finger. Of the warmth and comfort of Uriah. Of his strength. He wanted to do this. He would follow it through. And dammit all, he liked what he was wearing and was rather comfortable in it. It made him feel more... well, there he wasn’t so sure. More true?

At least he hadn’t had to face any of the other members of the expedition yet. They’d been picked up directly from the main building of the complex, Julia already seated in the car, the receptionist giving him an odd look as he’d left the building, but making no comment. It’d be mentioned though. Probably already had. But there would be nothing that his parents could do right now. The car had then met up with a what at a glance looked like a van with an enclosed trailer, one of the Guardians’ utility vehicles, and headed out of the city, and into the beautiful countryside.

The atmosphere in the car was... strange. Not uncomfortable, but not relaxed either. And that was ignoring his own current state. Seatbelts were optional in a vehicle like this, and right now one that they all were ignoring. Uriah was seated on one side, equally looking out at the passing landscape or at Julia, Fraser sitting right up against him, leaning into him, his hands nervously sitting in his lap. He wasn’t sure at all what he should be doing with them. What did he normally do with them anyways? He couldn’t quite recall, his emotions clouding what was usually just an instinctual reflex. He wanted to hold Uriah’s hand, or wrap his arms around him and snuggle into him more, but right now that was not the right thing to be doing.

He’d never been like this before. Wanting to be closer than usual. Clingy, almost. Desiring touch and affection. What had happened to him? Had the declaration really changed that much for him? Changed him in some way? Or just released something that he’d been holding back? It wasn’t like he was complaining, or regretting it. He’d wanted it, said it out loud too many times in the last couple of days, but he had never expected that it would happen, that Uriah would actually propose! Well, in a roundabout way, but both of them knew the truth behind his actions, their actions. And now that it was that much closer to being a reality, and that he’d finally admitted his feelings for Uriah, he was wanting and desiring more from it. From them. Last night... last night had been really special.

Of course there was the arranged engagement, but he was refusing the existence of that. His parents would not control his life in that way.

Julia was sitting opposite them, dressed the same as she had been yesterday, though with a slightly heavier pair of shoes. It made sense, given that they were going to be exploring the anomaly, and it did suit her. She had a good taste in clothes. Her hair was currently loose, almost shimmering, and she was wearing a little less makeup, the lipstick a soft pink this time, accenting her natural beauty. She really was quite attractive. But he had no desire for her in that way.

She had been giving them a curious look ever since they’d gotten into the car, almost shock, but masked quickly, and even right now, Fraser was sure that she was being careful with what she showed. A skill that he knew all too well, though something that he was probably failing horribly at now. Her gaze had gone over them both multiple times, though she had yet to say anything at all. Biding her time, or organizing her thoughts. Or something.

“Okay, I admit it. I’m completely confused,” Julia eventually stated with a big sigh as they passed the sign that declared the boundary of the city. A rather nondescript sigh, hiding the true nature of what was really there. “You were obviously in denial, but...” Julia gave another big sigh as she looked straight into his eyes. “What happened yesterday?”

Fraser felt himself blush as memories vied for attention. “The clothes are comfortable. I like how they look,” he answered, going for the more obvious of the two.

Julia looked thoughtful. “They do look good on you,” she eventually stated, after a lengthy pause. “You certainly look more confident in them than what you’d thrown on yesterday. But...” she paused again, turning to stare out the window. “The countryside is really beautiful. You really can’t appreciate it from the city. Photos don’t do it any justice.”

Fraser nodded. “Yeah, that it is.” Though there were sections of the city that were just as beautiful. Albeit they were right on the outskirts, where there was more nature than city.

“Fraser, are you a girl?”

“No.” He answered that one instantly, perhaps too fast, and not without bitterness.

Julia looked back at him. “Are you sure?”

Fraser took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, even as he could feel his magic stirring. “I’m not a girl, Julia. I’m not Callie. I can’t be.” The last bit added in almost a whisper, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. He wasn’t a girl. He wasn’t like Felicia.

Julia’s eyes opened wide. “Oh,” she said, a tinge of sadness there. She looked at him, then Uriah, then back at him again. “That’s a cute name, you know.”

Fraser just blushed. It was a cute name. He liked it, even if it couldn’t be his. Hers. Fraser looked down, staring at the ring, gently brushing it with one of his fingers. He... he couldn’t go there. He... wasn’t allowed to. He would have screamed out in frustration, if he hadn’t been in the car. What was wrong with him? He was still a mess.

“I have no clue as to what your tastes are like, apart from Uriah of course, but to me it makes no difference,” Julia said, looking out of the window again. “The rings... they aren’t just for show, are they?” Julia then asked. “Their placement, their existence, is too deliberate.”

“I proposed. Fraser accepted.” Uriah gave Julia an almost predatory grin.

Julia looked back at them, her gaze going over the rings again before she settled on Fraser. Her look was intense. Not judging, but something else. “I knew that it was more than just words. That much was obvious. You are completely serious though?”

Fraser all but hissed at Julia. “I was serious right from the start. I...” he paused, fighting against himself as to if he actually wanted to say it out loud. “I love him,” he finally mumbled. “Have for a long time. Uriah means the world to me.”

“As do I you,” Uriah added, leaning in to whisper it in his ear. Fraser went all shades of red.

“Well, I am jealous. You two make a cute pair. This is going to complicate things though.”

“Don’t care,” Fraser mumbled. No, his parents weren’t going to accept it, and he didn’t know what he was going to do about that. But all that really mattered was that he was Uriah’s now, and him his. Whether or not anyone else accepted that was irrelevant. Somehow, they’d make it work out. They had to.

Julia chuckled. “While it may be weird of me to say so, I do fully support you. What you have is very special. You know, though, while they wouldn’t accept it, there are other options as well.”

“Huh?” Fraser gave Julia a very confused look. He really had no clue as to where she was coming from.

“Oh, never mind,” Julia then said rather quickly, looking embarrassed. “Forget I said that. On a completely different topic...”

“Yes?”

“Did you bring any of your books along?”

“Umm. Yeah.” Of course he had. Reading was a good way of passing a long journey.

“Can I read one? Please?”

“Sure.” He gave a shrug. Her request surprised him. He hadn’t thought that she’d like that kind of thing. Not that he really knew her that well though. Nor did he mind sharing the stories. They were good, the authors talented, and they deserved to be read by as many people as possible. Pulling his smaller bag to him, the other one being in the boot, he pulled out one of the titles and handed it to her. One of the benefits of having physical books. He hadn’t read most of these, so he couldn’t really recommend one over the others, except that he had read and enjoyed stories by all of the authors.

“Thanks.” Julia seemed to relax a bit, making herself more comfortable in the seat, giving the book a good look over before she opened it and started reading.

---

Fraser had managed half of a book by the time that the car was pulled to a stop outside a cafe in one of the small towns outside of the city. He was feeling cramped, and a chance to stretch his legs sounded like a good idea, but not here. He wasn’t that hungry, even less so with all of the people around, and there wasn’t anywhere really to walk. He had also packed some food, yeah, he knew, a commoner thing to do, but still a good habit, so the cafe was really a moot point. Nor did he really want to associate himself with the spellswords who had already gotten out and were talking loudly and being far too full of themselves. Fraser grimaced as one made a rude remark to one of the patrons who was seated outside in the sun. Arrogant and stupid.

“Can we go somewhere else for a stretch? Surely there’s a nice park or something here?” Most towns had one after all.

“I second that,” Uriah agreed, giving his shoulders a stretch. “We can deal with them later.”

Julia nodded, lowering her window. “Burt, we’re going down the road a bit. Let us know when you’re done.”

Burt grunted some response as Julia relayed their instructions to the driver, and the car slid away from the curb and headed down the street, stopping a few minutes later at a small forested glade with a wooden sign at its edge declaring that it was the town’s reserve.

It was cool and pleasant, familiar and yet different, this place lacking the aggressive nature of the trees around the complex. An odd sensation, but yet, that feeling, that impression was there. The trees were spread out, grass and leaves between them, a few weathered park benches near the edge, and worn tracks heading further in. Patches of sunlight formed a colourful quilt on the ground, birds and insects dancing within.

Fraser walked beside Uriah as they made their way into the reserve, going in an arbitrary direction, no real destination in mind. It wasn’t like they could actually go too far; Burt would probably be livid if they were nowhere to be seen when it was time to leave. Not that he cared about Burt’s reaction at all, given that he wasn’t the nicest person in the first place, but unnecessary conflict was just that. Unnecessary.

He was still feeling a bit unsettled. Unsure about certain aspects. Things that he’d never really thought about before were now suddenly vividly in his perspective, at the front of his mind, taunting him with his uncertainty about them. How he should be acting, how close he should be. If there were certain things that he should be doing.

If he should be holding Uriah’s hand...

What he read in books, how the characters acted, and reality. Quite different.

He wanted to, though.

“Uriah?” he asked softly, sliding his hand into Uriah’s as Uriah looked down at him. That earned him a smile, Uriah’s fingers wrapping around his own. And a chuckle from Julia behind them.

“Your interactions are cute,” Julia said with an amused grin as he looked back at her, Julia quickly coming up alongside them. “I have a question for you though...”

“Yes?” He had no clue as to what she was going to ask about.

“How easy was it for you two to learn to use your magic?”

Fraser’s expression went thoughtful. He didn’t have an easy answer for that one, as what did you really compare it to? Apart from knowing that a lot of the spellswords were crap at both fighting and using their magic, he didn’t actually know how easy it had been for them to learn, or how quickly. Nor was he really aware of how quickly his parents had picked up on theirs, though they were both certainly talented in its use.

He shrugged. “No clue. We’ve had our magic since we were really young, and had some use of it, but until the Guardians were fully established we didn’t get any actual training. That was just reserved for the founders themselves.” Not that that had stopped either of them from experimenting and learning when they were sure that their parents weren’t around. It had given them a bit of a head start when they finally had started receiving training as well.

“We both learnt at about the same pace as well,” Uriah continued for him. “Quicker than a lot of our peers, but just because you have magic and want to be a spellsword doesn’t mean that you actually have any talent for it.”

“You two do though.”

Fraser sighed. “That is questionable for me. I lost the use of my magic after all.”

Julia shook her head. “I’ve been told what you were capable of, and I’m pretty sure that they weren’t exaggerating. You were, are, good. Use of magic or not. And look at your mark. No one else has one that large.” She blinked, looking surprised. “It’s different, from even just before...”

Fraser brought his left hand up, the sunlight reflecting off the blackness of the tattoo. She was right. It had changed. It had been doing that a lot over the last few days, with all that had been going on. He’d felt the pain a few times too, but he hadn’t looked at it except to notice that it had started travelling up his arm, tendrils of ink clawing at his scars. Ironic, that. He was scared, to be honest, of what else might have appeared within its weave, and why. No one else’s had changed like his, and on such a drastic scale, Vampire had even confirmed that. Vampire, who he knew naught about. He was certain that Uriah’s had changed a little too, but he wasn’t going to talk about that with Julia around.

“It’s just another aspect that we don’t fully understand.” He felt a little guilty that he was partially lying there, but it wasn’t something that he wanted to talk about with her. At least not yet, not when he didn’t have a full understanding. Knowing the symbols was one thing, but he didn’t have the context for their full meaning, even if some of them seemed obvious. Explain the ones that he could, and that would open the door for speculation on the ones that he didn’t. Speculation that he could do without. Especially for Uriah’s.

They didn’t get to walk for much longer before Julia got a message that the others were on their way, the stop at the cafe rather short it seemed. Fraser wouldn’t put it past that group to have gotten themselves into trouble. As long as they hadn’t left a mess for the Guardians to clean up. Returning to the car, they sat and waited, pulling in behind the other vehicle as it passed them. Once they were out of the town, he pulled out the food that he had prepared, offering some to Julia as well. Her smile seemed to indicate that she liked it at least, Uriah quickly devouring his portion, Fraser taking his time, snuggling into Uriah as he ate. And then taking Uriah’s hand, leaning into him some more, and dozing off, quite happy with where he was and Uriah’s arm around him.