Chapter 29 – Desires of the Heart.

Callie sat on the grass, knees pulled up against her chest, as she watched them. She was so proud of them both, of how much progress had been made in the last week, and of how well they were getting along.

But at the same time, it really hurt.

She couldn’t... she just couldn’t. Even though, with every fibre of her being, she wanted to. Oh so desperately. But when it came to it, when she thought perhaps that she might be ready, that piece of knowledge just kicked in, slamming into her, and tearing everything away. And it had only been getting worse as the feelings had been getting stronger.

Felicia shifted from her fox form, to her human one, wrapping her arms around her. On the one hand, Callie wanted to push her away, saying that it wouldn’t change anything. But she didn’t, because, on the other hand, it did feel nice. Comforting and reassuring, Felicia sending the warm feelings through their bond as well. She didn’t say anything, just continuing the hug as they watched. She knew what she was doing, and it helped, if anything.

It had been a week since the earthquake, and the battle with the shadow creatures. A fight that had left them utterly exhausted, three of them having slept for almost a day. And had then spent the next getting cleaned up from the mess. Mud was not a fun substance, no matter what anyone might say, and it had been everywhere. Julia had moved them away from the area, but there had been little else she could do till they had woken.

There had been no earthquakes since, and no more creatures. But both things had occurred, and it was now quite obvious that this journey could be fatal in a number of ways, and they needed to be prepared. They had always planned on training Julia, but the urgency on that had shifted it from soon to now. So, they had reduced how much of the day they were spending walking, which Callie was certainly not complaining about, and were spending the rest of it training Julia, or foraging, seeing what other food sources they could find. They still had plenty of fish, but with a drastic lack of ways to cook or season it, she knew that she was going to get sick of it quickly, and she wanted other options. Thus far, they hadn’t found much other than a few berry bushes tangled up in patches of small scrubs that were now littering the plains, but she was more than happy for them. And, as much as it could prove to be a bad idea, they were still following close-ish to the river. The source of water was too useful to ignore. Even if it could well wash over them again at some point and potential ruin all of their gear, or worse.

While Julia’s control over her magic was quite good, Callie actually quite impressed when they got her to demonstrate what she could do, Julia’s magic itself was still rather weak. It was improving, at least according to Julia, but slowly, as it had only been a couple of weeks since she’d accepted Amber’s offer. Her vampiric side, on the other hand, was strengthening rapidly. She was looking even more toned than she had been, but that did not reflect at all the extent of the changes that were occurring to her, even if her eyes were now a deep, mesmerising, blood red. Her strength was now on par with Uriah’s and her speed quickly catching up. She could no longer hide the fact that she had fangs, at least when she chose to reveal her teeth, and she could form claws on both hands. And while she might not realise or want to admit it, her emotions were strengthening as well. Well, that might not be the best term for it, but it was the best analogy that Callie could think of. She was more open and expressive, not that she ever hadn’t been, and perhaps a little more direct about it all too.

And that was part of the current issue. Given her current abilities, and where they were likely to go, hand to hand combat was going to be her strength. She’d looked like she had wanted to tear Callie’s father apart when he’d shot Uriah, and that desire, that feral aspect, was only getting stronger. Which meant that Uriah was the most suited to teaching her. Not only because he had some actual experience in training others, but because he was proficient in that style. He was miles better than her, Callie preferring her lightning storm approach, now that she had her magic, and the freedom to use it as she felt fit. Sure, she knew how to use blades of various shapes and sizes, but fists and claws? There she was rather limited. Uriah though, he was better with his bare hands than he was with a blade, but again, it was another thing that they had tried to not let anyone catch on to, too much.

Callie had to admit that she was impressed at how well he was able to impart his knowledge. He really would make a good teacher. And father. He was handling Julia well too. Well, to a point, if replying in kind to her flirting as they trained was handling her well. Smiles, subtle gestures, the way she handled herself, how she stood and moved, and the words that she said. Julia was a master of the art, and it was having an effect on Callie as well, even if she wasn’t the intended target. Uriah was indeed hot. Attractive. Sensual. Especially when he was standing there with no top, his mostly naked body bathed in the sun’s orange light, ethereal features only complimenting that further. His smile was melting her heart, as it always had. He was hers. They had the rings, and the bond. But Julia was the one that he was smiling at. And the seductive grin on Julia’s face. It hadn’t gone away. Nor that her eyes were all but glued onto him.

She couldn’t, wouldn’t, fault either of them. She knew that Uriah found Julia attractive. She did as well. Julia was all kinds of hot, and they’d openly admitted that to each other. Ever since Julia had walked into their lives, they had pretty much formed a relationship together, and it had only been getting stronger. Julia’s new nature had just pushed it along at a much faster pace, not that Julia was complaining about that. She had made the request after all, and Callie was still making her wait on that one.

And... Julia had fed this morning. The intensity of the pleasure had been nothing like before. It had made Callie feel and want all sorts of things, especially since this time she had kept her eyes and senses open, not affording any barriers to it at all, wrapping her arms around the vampire. It was kind of addictive, and she could feel the bond, the connection between them, strengthening each time that Julia fed. But, it wasn’t on the same level as the bond that she had with Uriah and with Felicia. Julia wanted that kind of bond, and truth be told, Callie did too.

Just, it was still difficult.

She’d been on a high, in some regards, and she had wanted, needed, to do things with Uriah. To cement the bond, the love, that they had, in a physical way. The desperate desire only getting stronger with each passing day. But then the reality that she still had that part down there had slammed into her, even if it was smaller than it had been, and, just like the last time, the desire had vanished, in an instant, replaced by a deep, soul penetrating sadness. She’d tried to mask it, hide it from Uriah, but he had, of course, known. They had their bond after all. He had comforted her as best he could, and that had helped. She’d appreciated it. Being held in his arms meant the world to her. But while the desire had gone for her, it still lingered for him. Uriah could feel it, every time that Julia looked at him. The lingering sensations, the memories of how the vampire made them feel when she fed. And the promises of the other feelings that she could provide. Vampires were dangerous people, in many ways.

And if things happened, the only person that she would blame would be herself. For not being able to act on her own desires. For losing them. For not being able to take that next step, and give Julia the bond that she was after. To openly admit the full extent of what their relationship was, what it meant to all of them. To what they all wanted. She was the one holding everything back now. In her selfishness and self pity.

Because she wasn’t fully what she wanted to be. Knowing her true self, that she was a girl, but not fully being able to be her. Not yet.

It just hurt. A lot. She wanted to cry. She was on the verge of tears, but she didn’t want to break down. Not here, not right now. Not in front of them. It would just make things worse.

She... couldn’t sit here any longer.

‘Felicia, could you keep watching them. I’m... going to bathe.’ Callie got up, turned, and quickly made her way back towards the river, hoping that they didn’t spot her.

‘No. I’m coming with you.’ She could feel Felicia’s presence just behind her. She’d been just as quick.

‘But...’ she started, Felicia cutting her off.

‘No buts, Callie. You need me more than them right now, and besides, he isn’t going to do anything. You know him better than us. I trust him. So should you.’

Callie suddenly felt very embarrassed, on top of everything else. She was right, but still... ‘Foxes and water...’ she then tried.

‘I’m a whimsical lady,’ Felicia sent back with a laugh.

Callie stripped on the grassy bank, making sure not to look at Felicia, who could just make her clothes disappear on whim, and quickly made her way into the river. Despite the side effect of the earthquake, or whatever it had been, she had grown somewhat fond of the river, and of swimming in it. Once they had returned to its edge, it had become a daily activity for her. It was cool, relaxing, and she could hide within it if needed.

‘No hiding this time though,’ Felicia commented with a serious look, wading up beside her. The water lapped at her breasts, her fiery orange hair floating in the water around her. She looked... beautiful.

“Fine.” Callie sighed. She gave Felicia a weak smile, and then dived into the water, pushing herself against the current as she swam up river, surfacing after a few moments. She wasn’t that good at diving after all.

And blinked, surprised. She wasn’t in the water. Wasn’t in the river. It was all white around her, as she floated there, naked, seeing things that she’d been trying to forget. Things that she so desperately wanted. She’d been clothed the last few times.

She was in her mindscape.

And she could feel her here too.

“Are you trying to kill me, Arianna?” she growled. “I’m in the middle of a fast flowing river!”

“You know as well as I do that this will all take place in but a mere moment.” Arianna’s voice sounded the same as it had last time. Kind, caring, even though Callie had once again snapped at her. “Or even less.”

Yes, that was true, as far as she was aware. But still. “What is it that you want? You’re not here just to chat...” Callie tried to shift herself around, but in this place there was nowhere to hide, her mind well aware of, well, everything, about her. She knew that she shouldn’t be like this in front of the totem, whom they were going to be asking for the seed from, and yet...

“Perhaps I am?” There was an element of teasing to the totem’s voice, and something else, that Callie couldn’t quite place. “I am lonely after all.”

“Sorry,” Callie managed, half meaning it. If that was the case, she was even more at a loss. “That earthquake?” she asked.

“Symptoms of the state of the realm.” Just pure sadness this time, her voice twinging at her heart.

“What are the shadows then? We’ve seen them before, but never ones as large as the titan...”

“Fragments. Memories. Of what once was, of what could have been. Twisted by time, and by death. Another symptom, one that goes hand in hand with the tremors.”

Callie started. “But... that would mean...” She wasn’t sure if she wanted that thought to finish.

“I know not the state of your realm, but they are always the sign of an issue. A tumour or wound. Or perhaps something else.”

“We... always thought they were related to the overlap between realms.”

“That could be the case? This realm never overlapped another, so I can’t comment. But still, does that state sound healthy to you?”

Callie shrugged. “We never had magic either. Not till your... siblings?” She wasn’t sure of the exact relationship between them all. “Came through, and...”

“They made a choice, and it seems that your world benefited, rather than those responsible. As to the side effects, I cannot say.”

“Julia was gifted by one of those people.” She really knew little about them. Except that she hated the Demon, Riddling, with a passion.

“And she seems the better for it too. Her feelings feel just as strong and true as yours, Callie the Witch.”

She could sense them too. Well, she’d known all about Uriah last time they’d talked. “She is a good girl.” Woman, actually. But that term always had a better ring to it.

“Callie the Witch...” Arianna’s tone had shifted again. Still warm and kind, but with a hint of nervousness.

“Yes?”

“I would offer you my blessing too. As my siblings have done.”

Callie blinked, completely at a loss. Arianna had mentioned them last time, but had completely skipped over them. “Why,” Callie asked back cautiously. “What is in it for you?”

“I believe in their decision. I trust them. Even though they are now gone.”

“That’s not quite an answer.” Callie raised her eyebrows, and made a little noise.

“A connection. You’ll be familiar with the concept. A chance to live on. And for you, a way to hurry your magic along to give you what you so deeply desire.

She couldn’t deny that that last bit was more than just a little tempting. “How? What about your blessing would enable that?” She was trying not to sound eager, that she’d all but accepted, but she was probably failing there.

“Because it falls under the concept of what my magic is.”

“Will it change me in any other ways?”

“Besides allowing you to be truly what you desire? No. No more than the blessings that you already have.”

“Then, I feel privileged, and I accept, Arianna.”

“Then it shall be so. My blessing, that of the totem known as Arianna, I grant to you, Callie the Witch.”

Callie felt it almost instantly, magic flowing from the presence and into her. Soft, warm, and loving. The aspect of life, and all that that entailed. Wrapping around her, seeing an invitation, a welcome. Which she gladly gave, letting it flow into her, melding with her own magic. A sibling, finally at home with the rest of its kin.

“Till we meet again.”

And then Arianna was gone, the mindscape slipping away. She was back in the water, her lightning arcing around her, in mesmerising patterns, the water changing colour and shimmering as it flowed past her. She could feel her mark burning again, all the way up to her shoulder and then down her back a little, and other parts of her too. Intense pain down there, and twinges in her stomach area, as things suddenly and drastically changed. But a change that she wanted, and desired. The last part of what she was, changing form and function, into that of her true gender. Down there, between her legs, she was now all woman. She couldn’t help but stand there and smile, feelings building up within her, everything rushing back.

“Arianna?” Felicia asked, bobbing there beside her.

“Yup.” Callie giggled, then laughed. She couldn’t help herself. “Come, we’re going back to the others.”

She swam to the edge of the river, till it got too shallow to do so, and then walked out, stopping just as she stepped out of the water to look down at herself. It wasn’t a dream. It was all very real, and it had all changed. The pain had subsided, it now complete. She didn’t bother with her clothes, she was still soaking wet, nor did she need them at the moment, instead just continuing to walk, over to Uriah and Julia, who stopped mid spar, turning to look at them. At her. She knew that they both picked up on it instantly, a growing smile on Uriah’s face, a hungry one on Julia’s. Typical her. But she was more than happy with the attention.

Callie walked straight up to Uriah, pressing her body up against his as she put her arms around him and pulled him in for a kiss. One filled with hunger and desire. One that he returned.

She could feel Julia’s eyes on her still, and she was almost revelling in that. But, she should... she should probably give an answer now too, shouldn’t she. Bonds were a two way thing, after all. Callie pulled back, brushed her wet hair behind her neck as she turned to face Julia, looking straight at her.

“You still want it? A bond with us?”

“Yes.” No hesitation at all there, Julia putting a hand on her waist, her smile growing wider.

“As lovers? To all of us? I don’t want another spouse.”

“That suits me fine. Poly’s can take all shapes and forms, and that is what we are, are we not?”

Yes, that they were. Callie shrugged, trying to recall the form of the array in her mind. As she had suspected, it came to her easily, the array manifesting around them as her magic flared, and she found herself in her mindscape again, all of the others with her too. She was still naked, cause that is how she wanted to be. Felicia, looked just as she always did. Uriah, flames were dancing around him, his ethereal features very much real. And Julia, had an edge to her, one of desire and blood. The manifestation of her nature, and it was making her even more alluring.

‘You okay with this, Uri?’ she asked, feeling a little ashamed that she hadn’t asked before she’d activated the array. They had discussed it, but...

‘Yes.’ His voice was reassuring. ‘But she is going to want to act on it too. Perhaps we all are,’ he added, looking at her.

‘Feli?’ Heh. That actually sounded quite cute. She liked that, though she had no idea what Felicia would think of the pet name. ‘You happy to be part of this?’

Felicia walked over to Julia, reaching out and running a hand along her face. “You’re finally going to get it, aren’t you. A girl with so many desires and aspirations, who is going to realise all of them. You have no idea of how dangerous you are, Julia.”

“I am.” Julia’s grin, and the sparkle in her red eyes, said it all.

‘I have no interest in your husband. Men never did anything for me, even if he is hot. But you, perhaps? I wonder what it would be like, with my witch. You are rather cute. But Julia, she is the one who stole my heart.’ Felicia turned, looking at Callie, a sweet smile on her face. ‘But yes, I do want to be a part of this. Of its entirety.’

“How does this work?” Julia asked, tilting her head to the side in question as she placed her arms around Felicia. She was still standing in front of the vampire after all, Felicia happily placing her arms over Julia’s.

“Umm.” That was still a good question. “It works on intent. With Felicia, we just agreed. With Uri, we said vows.”

“Should we all just declare to be lovers then, on top of the other bonds that we already have?” Uriah suggested.

Callie nodded. That would work. “Yes, I like that. Lovers, then.”

“Lovers,” the others echoed.

She could feel her magic flare, the array blazing to life as it wrapped itself around them all in a warm light. Her mark burned, for the second time today, as the bonds formed, not just between her and them, but between them all as well, a complex array of lines taking shape on the back of her hand, wrapping around her ring, a network that represented what they now had. What they had agreed to. What had been desired. And then the light faded, and they were back on the grass again.

Julia looked more than a little hungry, Callie giving a laugh, before she turned back to Uriah, all but ignoring them, feelings quickly welling up within her. All those times that they’d just disappeared? Well, now they were coming back. She ran her hand along his chest, looking up at him, and into his eyes. His smile back was doing things to her.

‘I want some time with my husband first, please,’ she sent, to both Julia and Felicia, before she pulled him in for a kiss.

“Be mine,” she murmured. “Make love to me, please.”

He returned the kiss eagerly and hungrily. ‘I’ve wanted to do this with you for so long. For so very long.’

‘Me too.’ And now, she finally could. Without anything getting in her way.