Varewulf

Something that has bothered me about fantasy (and sci-fi) settings for a long time is that basically all of them stick to the idea that you need a male/female pairing for pregnancy to happen. For anything else you need to adopt, but come on. You have magic (or future tech). If you really wanted to, you could write in a solution. And so I did.

And full disclosure: I had recently rewatched Scorching Ping Pong Girls before I originally wrote this. I was thinking I needed some sort of sports event, and so I picked this one, even though I realise it might seem out of place. Otome games can be like that, right? Ping Pong Girls is my favourite anime, and I highly recommend it.

I have been musing on things. Assuming the game's rules still apply, and I have actually been added as a love interest for some unfathomable reason, then there should be a happy ending for me. Or rather, for Emma with me. Also a bad ending, and possibly a neutral ending. Leaving those options aside, I can feel my heart racing at the thought of there actually being a Love ending for us. It's possible it's a really hard one to get. Just because one exists doesn't mean I'll get to see it. This time, at least. The player might have picked the wrong options. Or I have already messed things up too badly.

The character of Francine Lataille is not meant to know what I know. Even if there's a new script, I might have broken it, or reacted in ways that affected the route negatively. Maybe it would be easier for a Francine who wasn't self-aware like I am. If I get into another playthrough with this route, perhaps I could be kinder, and somehow make it easier. Try to find a better way. I just need to look out for the hairpin. I think.

But let's say hypothetically that Emma actually fell in love with me, and we got together. How would I explain that to my family?

The fact that she's a girl isn't the issue. Sure, as the first-born I am expected to produce an heir, but that's what fertility wizards are for. Despite the impression the original premise of the game gives, same-sex relationships have never really been taboo in our world. While a man and a woman is the most common relationship type, most people don't hold any prejudices towards other types of relationships.

There used to be some restrictions, of a sort. As I said, the first-born of a highborn house needs to conceive an heir, and keep the family going. Hence the first-born were rarely free to seek out any sort of uncommon relationship, unless there were special circumstances that still allowed them to conceive a child. So the option was only truly available to any younger siblings. An unfortunate by-product of our society.

That all changed with the founding of the school of fertility magic several hundred years ago. As the name implies, it was originally founded to combat infertility. Even among man/woman couples there were times where one or both were simply infertile, and could not conceive regardless. Some were forced by their families to take a new spouse, or have some sort of surrogate arrangement, but it could be quite the blow to any couple wishing for children. In some cases the only option would be to pass the title of heir down to the second-born. While justifiable, most first-born would feel ashamed that it had to come to that.

You could call it a miracle when some magicians figured out a way to counteract infertility, and allow affected couples to conceive children anyway. It involves taking a bit of the life force from each person, along with some stuff, and... um... listen, I'm not privy to all the inner workings. It works, that's the important part.

The monarch at the time recognised this achievement as revolutionary, and granted the order their own academy for further training, and research on other applications for this sort of life magic.

Becoming a fertility wizard is one of the trickiest magic disciplines due to the delicate manipulation of life force, and body matter involved. You need a diploma with sufficiently high grades from a regular academy with magic training like this one to even start at the fertility academy. It's rare for anyone under the age of 25 to be a fully certified wizard.

Then came another revolutionary discovery: This magic can work for any two people, regardless of their gender. So long as two people are willing to undergo the procedure, anyone can conceive a child together. Which opened the path for even the first-born to pursue any relationship they would like. There are some people who are against this, as they claim it is unnatural. Well, so are the buildings we construct, the clothes we wear, and the food we cook. Bread is not a product of nature. Defying nature is part of civilisation, yet it's somehow only a problem when it comes to things people don't like.

Regardless it means Emma and I could have children together. Naturally considering our status it would only make sense that she should bear them, but I must admit I am a little curious what it would be like. If I had married a man I would have been the one who got pregnant anyway, so it was always in the cards. Perhaps we could take turns? I think I'd like more than one...

Wait, wait, I'm getting way, way ahead of myself. Even assuming we get the happy ending, our existence will end as soon as the credits roll, and I'll move back to the start of another playthrough. I'm just completely off in the land of dreams. Besides, I have no idea if Emma even wants children. Maybe our relationship wouldn't last because of the pressure of me needing an heir.

Anyway. Back to my original point: The issue is that Emma is lowborn. Marrying for love is hardly discouraged, but highborn families often expect their children to adhere to certain standards. Mine is very much counted among that group. My parents are not bad people, just set in their ways. I'm aware they expect me to find a highborn partner for marriage. The game originally set me to pursue Arthur, whom I'm certain my parents would have considered a spectacular catch. Convincing them to accept Emma might not be easy. Assuming Emma wants to go that far with me in the first place...

It's only hypothetical anyway. The game doesn't last long enough for any of this to actually come up. But can I be blamed for dreaming?

* * *

I feel a bit nervous as I knock on the door. The last time I was in Emma's room was during the cleaning event. I've not gone in there to attempt any more sabotage or anything since. How fitting I now get asked to come help clean it.

Asking Emma for ways I can help make things up to her, even a little, has been surprisingly fruitless. I figured she would have several ideas for things she has dreamed about seeing me do or say, but she's not been very forthcoming. Maybe I've been a pest about it as a result. Eventually she said I could come help clean her room. I suppose that's a start.

I asked Bella for any tips, since... I'll be perfectly honest, I have hardly cleaned anything in my entire life. Not in my backstory, nor in the vast amount of playthroughs I've been through. While initially shocked at the mere thought of me cleaning, she assured me it's not that complicated. Just make sure I wear something I don't mind getting dirty.

The thing is I don't really have a lot of clothes you might consider casual. The things I don't mind getting dirty are basically my gym clothes, and outdoors wear. Still, I found a jumper I was thinking of throwing out soon, and I picked a uniform skirt because I don't really have much else I wouldn't be a little worried about. I am slightly proud of myself for thinking to put on pantyhose, in case I need to get down on my knees.

My maid Lucille would be absolutely horrified if she knew about this. She can never find out.

The door opens, and there she stands. Emma Grenier. She's so pretty.

"Lady Francine!" She actually seems happy to see me. I don't deserve that. Nor would have I thought it possible a mere month ago. "Do come in," she says, and heads back into the room.

"Thank you," I say, and follow her. Why do I suddenly feel even more nervous? There's a pleasant, calming scent in here, though. I look around. It doesn't particularly look in need of cleaning, but I'm hardly an expert on that subject. "Where do I start?" I ask. Even if I don't know what I'm doing, I'll do my best.

"I was hoping we could start with a cup of tea," Emma says.

I give her a puzzled look, then notice a teapot on the table. Steam is rising out of spout. So that's where the scent is coming from. There are two cups, and even some biscuits.

"But... what about the cleaning?"

"Not necessary. I just thought that maybe you wouldn't agree to come if I didn't come up with an excuse." What a clever smile she has.

"I..." I still might have, but... she might be right. If she had just invited me over for tea, I might have hesitated to accept. "I didn't think you capable of such trickery, Emma." It worked, as well. I'm still not used to not knowing everything that is going to happen. Well, I'm here now. I can't exactly just turn around, and leave.

She seems pretty proud of her accomplishment. "Please have a seat," she says, and sits down to start pouring tea for us.

I sit down too. "Thank you," I say as she's done filling my cup. Tea made by Emma. For some reason the very idea is making my heart beat a little faster. I have no idea how good she is at it, but it certainly smells very nice. Chamomile, huh? Maybe she also felt a little nervous, and decided to go for a relaxing one. Or maybe I'm reading too much into things. Whatever the reason, I'm grateful. Hopefully it'll help me calm down a little. It's still hot, so I take a very careful sip. Nice. Quite nice.

"So how are you doing, Lady Francine?"

I look over at her. How am I doing? Is she still concerned about me? I really don't deserve that. "I'm quite well," I reply. Certainly now that I'm here with her. "How about yourself?"

She smiles wide. "I'm good!" Her smile is really dazzling.

"Though I must admit I still don't understand why you decided you want to be my friend, rather than just be free of me." It is not the first time I've asked, but I've never gotten a good answer. Maybe I should just give up, and accept it.

She pauses for a moment, then puts her cup down. "I considered it. But I could feel that you had changed... or were changing, perhaps. And you saved me."

I wince a little. "Please don't be grateful for that." That's been on my mind ever since. "You understand that was my fault to begin with, yes? They were just trying to... impress me." It leaves a bad taste in my mouth to say it, but it's true nonetheless.

"Yet you stopped them. And no one has bothered me since."

That is perhaps not so surprising. Word of what I did, and what I said, probably spread.

"And even before then..." She drops a sugar cube into her tea, and stirs it around. "Your little sister is very cute."

Oh, right. I remember Emma looking towards us. "Yes, my little Lou is adorable," I agree.

"Little Lou?"

"It's my nickname for her. Louise. She's a very good girl, unlike me." I miss her.

Emma giggles a little. "She looked like she was about the same age as my sister."

"Hm? Yes, she should be pretty close to Claire."

She suddenly looks puzzled. "How do you know my sister's name?"

Uh... crap. I wasn't thinking. Of course I'm not supposed to know that. "I... guess... I heard it somewhere." That probably doesn't sound convincing at all.

"Hmmmm..." She's staring at me. I can only imagine how suspect I seem. Why am I such a screw-up?

"A-anyway, this tea is really nice," I say, hoping to change the topic. The temperature is much more acceptable now, and I can't say anything stupid if I'm drinking.

She stares at me a little longer, then thankfully seems to give up. "Thank you. I was a little worried about how it would turn out," she says with a smile.

We engage in what I would call pleasant conversation. Asking questions back and forth, even if we don't share anything particularly deep. Though I have seen all of the game's dialogue, and already know a lot of what she tells me, it still feels different to hear about her in her own words. And hopefully she likes what she hears about me, as well. She said she wanted to understand me, after all. I keep worrying she'll bring up the sister thing again, but it seems like I'm safe.

How could I ever hope to explain that this is a game, and I know everything that happens in it? How could I even explain what a game is? It took me a while to come to terms with all of it myself. Not that I actually know everything any longer anyway. At best I could maybe simply make it look like I'm a creep who looked up the school's file on her. That's something I could have probably secured access to. Hopefully I won't have to make her believe something like that. Maybe she's already suspecting it, though.

I focus on sharing stuff from my backstory. My likes. Hobbies. Things I've done. What it's like in my family's lands.

Then all too soon it's time to leave again. I wouldn't have minded staying all night, but I can't. Maybe another time... no, don't start thinking about that. Bad Francine.

"Thank you for coming, Lady Francine."

"Thank you for the invitation, though you don't have to resort to trickery next time." I've been here once now, so I think I can muster the courage to go again.

She giggles. "I'll keep that in mind."

There's something I've been thinking about though. "Also, you don't have to call me Lady Francine. Just Francine is fine." I think it's a good time for that. I don't want to keep being reminded that I'm supposed to be above her.

"Eh? I... but... that's... I'm not sure..." She's blushing a little. I wasn't aware she felt that strongly about it.

"I would rather we treated each other equally. Would you prefer I started calling you Lady Emma instead?" I tease.

Oh wow, she really blushes at that. "Please no," she says.

Oh no, she's so cute. I haven't seen her so embarrassed in a long time. This isn't good. The old urges are coming back. "Whyever not, Lady Emma?" I can't resist. She looks sooo cute.

"Please stop... Francine. There. You happy?" And now she looks a little grumpy too. This is too stimulating for me. I need to get out of here.

"Very. See you tomorrow, Emma."

Her blush is fading, but she's still unbearably adorable as she smiles at me. "See you, Francine."

When I get back to my room, I fall onto my bed, stuff my face right into my pillow, and let out a short, muffled scream. Why does she have to be so cute?!

I start to wonder. If the game has truly been updated, could it be be possible for me to be her friend? From the very start, I mean. Seeing her laugh, seeing her smile. I used to only be able to do that from a distance. Is there an option now for me to have that from the start of the game, if I really tried? Could I be her friend? Would she want that? Maybe it's not possible, but I can't stop wondering how far my freedom extends. I definitely feel like there were places I could have made other choices this time, but that could have been a mere illusion. I should try next time...

* * *

It's time for a sports tournament, and I am excited. This is an event I actually recognise. I have sort of gotten used to no longer knowing what is happening next, but it's a really strange feeling after being stuck to a script for my entire self-aware existence. Now we're back on familiar ground, though the truly exciting part is seeing how it might play out differently in this new route. Maybe it will, maybe it won't.

It feels weird to think back on how much the 'glitches' used to freak me out. During a single run of the game, my attitude has changed so much. Perhaps after so long I was ready for change, even though I wasn't aware of it.

The tournament is in table tennis. I'll grant that it's an odd choice considering the setting, but some things just have to be chalked up to this being a game. Perhaps the writer really likes table tennis. Whatever the reason it's actually considered a respected sport in this kingdom.

It's mainly a chance to show off our physical skills. The boys and girls have different brackets, and it is fixed up to a point. The final match is always between Emma and me, but the outcome there is based on how well the player has kept up their skill training.

If she wins, it's pretty straightforward no matter what route she is on. It's a moment of triumph, where she challenges me on something where I have the edge, and still beats me. The boys are either impressed by her skill, proud of her accomplishment, or a bit of both. Arthur and Otto mainly care about her skill, while Gabriel and Valleroy are mainly proud of her for overcoming me. Regardless it's a big moment in her story.

If she loses, the consequences differ based on the route.

For Arthur it means the happy ending is off the table. In that route Emma and I are direct rivals for his affection, so whomever wins gains a large amount of favour. You could consider it a duel of sorts. If I win I will take her place as main person of interest to him. The player can still achieve the neutral 'Just Friends' ending in spite of my increased standing, but any hope of romance is lost, and the chance of the bad ending happening goes up considerably since I gain more influence.

With Otto there is still one path to the happy ending, but the player has to pick some very precise options for the rest of the game. He is no longer sure she has the determination he's looking for, so a neutral or bad ending is more likely. Perhaps a bit cold, but I can understand where he's coming from. This is where it would be helpful for players to look up a guide.

Gabriel isn't that interested in sports, so the skill aspect doesn't really affect him much, but Emma is really down afterwards, and the gap between them widens again. He starts to realise how far apart their stations really are as he struggles with how to comfort her. It doesn't make him want to abandon her, so it doesn't particularly push things towards the bad ending, but it sets the course firmly for the neutral ending unless the player is very dedicated to sorting things out between them.

There is not a lot of difference in terms of outcome for Valleroy. It changes how subsequent scenes play out, but it doesn't really alter the path. Both of them lose confidence as a result of the loss, and there's a brief awkwardness between them. Valleroy is mainly disappointed in himself, as he helped Emma practice in his route, and it was still not enough. The two of them manage to figure things out together, and grow close again. Perhaps even closer if the player picks the right options. They've already been through a lot together, so this doesn't drastically change things between them, or the player's chances.

As for me... in all the original four routes, I try to sabotage Emma's chances. I'm the villain, after all. Winning is a point of pride for me, and I don't believe she's worthy of a fair fight. But this time I'm not sure how it will play out. Sabotage is off the table, and I double-checked that Bella and Eloise are also aware of that, so they don't try anything misguided. I don't think they would at this point, but I had to make sure.

This will just come down to Emma and me in a one-on-one match. And does it really matter which of us wins if I'm the love interest? Will I think any less of her if she loses? So long as she does her best, I don't see why I would. If she tries to hold back, I will be disappointed, but I have no reason to think she would. I'm excited.

And its not like I'll stop being hopelessly in love with her even if I feel a bit of disappointment.

Things start out as expected. Emma and I both make our way through the tiers. I'm well-versed in a lot of sports, at least the ones that the highborn treasure, and table tennis is one of my favourites. Maybe this event has something to do with that. I like how it lets you see your opponent up close. Regular tennis is perhaps considered more elegant, but the players are so far apart. Similarly I like fencing for letting me get close to my opponent, but the way you use your body, and your reflexes is very different in table tennis. I like the movement, and the impact of the ball on the racket. It gets my blood pumping. My heart racing.

And the thought of playing against Emma when I'm not supposed to hate her is very exciting. My heart thumps just thinking about it. Perhaps I'm going a little harder against my opponents than I should. I need to conserve my strength, at least a little bit.

The moment is here before I know it. I look at her across the table. Her breathing is a little laboured, as is mine. We've had some breaks between matches, but it's been pretty fast going overall. She's wiped her sweat, but I can still see some fresh beads on her forehead. I really like this look on her face.

"Let's have a good match," I say.

"Yeah," she replies, and smiles. So pretty.

Emma's play-style is very powerful. Her biggest strength is her smashes that can break through almost anything. In raw power she surpasses me. But she is also a highly adaptive player. She tends to start out slow as she gauges her opponent's play-style, and changes her own to counter them. So even if it looks like you have the upper hand at the start, she is often able to stage a comeback. You really have to give your all if you want to beat her.

My style relies more on skill and finesse. I try to find, and aim for my opponent's weak points. I have a more varied range of shots than Emma, and I'm well practised with my loop drive, using top-spin to help set up shots. I am not as skilled with other drives, but I've been known to use a bit of curve to throw opponents off. So my shots may not have the same power-level as Emma's, but I'm better at landing them. And so long as I can keep varying things up, it will be harder for her to adapt.

All in all, I have the edge. Hence why Emma's victory is such a big deal in the other routes. And when I was following the old script, win or lose was entirely binary. If she had sufficient skill it played out one way, and if she didn't it played out the other. Always the same strokes and shots, back and forth. But now... I know Emma's play-style. I have seen it so many times. Regardless of how well the player has done, I know what she is capable of. I should be able to beat her even if she's well-trained. I just have to be smart about it.

It starts out as expected. We have some light rallies, and I score the first couple of points. She adapts, and gets one back. I'm playing a bit more cautiously than usual. We have technically never played each other before, so she doesn't know what I'm capable of. I don't want to give everything away too soon. But I also can't let it drag out for too long.

I'm the best athlete among the first-year girls. I'm sure I could beat most, if not all, of the boys too. However my stamina is not infinite. While the early tiers were best-of-one matches, the semi-final was best-of-three, and so is the final. First to 11 points each game. This is tougher without a script to follow, as I need to actually think of the correct balance between holding back so she doesn't get to see all my moves too soon, but also needing to end it before I'm worn out completely. Do I hold back this game, and unleash everything in the second, or overwhelm her here and now, and trust my skills for the second game? Taking the first game shouldn't be hard. Taking the second will be trickier.

Unfortunately it seems I'm being too cautious. She started tying me up pretty quickly, and now she's passed me at 8-7. I had hoped I could last a bit longer, but it seems I need to get this game over with.

But what should my plan of attack be? Start with my weaker skills, and save my ace, or just rush her down? If she wins the first game, I am really in trouble. I don't think I have much of a choice.

The next time the ball comes flying my way, I break out the loop drive. There are some gasps in the audience from those who have seen me play before, and recognise what I'm doing. Or perhaps they've seen others do it. They've probably been waiting for something like this. The ball bounces off her racket on the return, and goes high into the air, which lets me smash it past her for an easy point. She isn't able to follow it. For now. The next four points go to me in quick succession, and the first game is mine. I'm a little relieved, but also worried about whether it was a mistake to use it so soon. I need to keep up this momentum, and win the next game before she is able to adapt. I can't let up for a moment.

The next game starts out well, and I power through the first five points easy. Nearly halfway. But I can feel her shots are gradually hitting harder, and she gets one past me before I get to use the drive, making it 5-1. Still, I get up to 6-1, then 7-1, and then... she catches it. I was afraid of that. Unfortunately I wasn't ready for it, so it's now 7-2. I could be in trouble here. I was really hoping she wouldn't be able to adapt in time, but I knew deep down it was a futile hope. She usually would have started catching up a couple of points ago, so I thought maybe I had it. The 5-1 made me a little nervous, so maybe that's what swung the momentum. Or I got too overconfident.

I try to keep going, but it gets up to 7-5 before I'm able to aim well enough to sneak one in for 8-5. It was a lucky one, though. She probably won't make that mistake again.

When we're at 8-7 in my favour, I realise I need to do something. I've turned helpless under her smash barrage. I am so close. Three more points. If I can just get this done... but she is not letting up. She looks so fierce. So determined. Practically grinning with excitement. Old me would have been furious, but now it nearly makes my knees go weak. No time for that. My only shot is changing tactics.

Suddenly switching to the curve drive catches her off-guard as I had hoped, and I manage to get to 9-7, and 10-7. But I just can't get that final point. My curve drive is not as strong as my loop drive, my smashes don't have the power hers do, and she is properly warmed up now. The sweat practically flies off of her with each smash.

It quickly becomes 10-10. Then 10-11. And though I try with all my might, turning it into quite the rally, I am not able to stop her from bringing it to 10-12, and taking the game. I am in big, big trouble.

When it comes to stamina, she has an edge over me. Not a huge one, but at this point it is probably enough. We are both tired, but I'm a little worse for wear. Yet I refuse to give up. All hope is not lost. Being tired means she is more likely to make mistakes, and precision is on my side. I am also likely to make mistakes, but it's possible she'll make more than me. And I have one more trick in my bag.

Her shots are no longer as sure, so although she takes the lead, she is not wholly dominant. It's at 5-2 in her favour. Time for my last gambit before she pulls ahead too far. We have both been going for forehand smashes so far. Hers to power through, mine to close out my loop drives. But I also have a pretty killer backhand.

I set up my loop drive again, and I can tell she's expecting the follow-up. But at the last possible moment I pivot, and go for a backhand smash instead of a forehand. It flies past her. 5-3. She looks in the direction of the ball, and then at me. She looks surprised, and... impressed? Then she grins wide at me. I grin back.

5-4. 6-4. 7-4. 7-5. 7-6.

I try to alternately between backhand and forehand as best I can to keep her guessing, never falling too far behind, but also never really catching up. Once we're at 10-8, I know it's over. I'm so tired. I have to score four in a row to win. She only needs one before I score two. I don't see how it's possible. But I'll be damned if I just give up. I marshal whatever strength I have left, and hope for a miracle.

The miracle doesn't come to my aid, but I get to see something spectacular. As I put my everything into a blow I hope against hope will give me a point, I look over at her, and it looks like she is literally on fire. I can see her blaze. I think my old self would have been scared, but now I'm mesmerised. She is so beautiful. Everything seems to move in slow motion as her racket moves to meet the ball. There's a high-pitched *ping* sound as they connect, and the ball zooms past me faster than I can follow. It just barely bounces off the edge of the table before it keeps moving.

The game is over. The match is over. She won. I thought I could outdo her with everything I knew, but it just wasn't meant to be. I'm so tired I drop to my knees. There's no strength left in my legs.

"Lady Francine!"

I look up to see Emma rushing towards me. How is she still standing?

"That's just Francine, remember, Lady Emma?"

"Uh, right... Francine." Her face is already so red that there's no way to tell if she's blushing.

She offers me a hand up, and I take it, only to pull her down instead. To hug her tight. She reeks, but I don't think I'm any better. "Congratulations," I say.

"L-" She barely catches herself. "F-Francine?!"

"It was a great match," I tell her. She feels so nice, and warm. I could stay like this forever.

"Y-yes, b-but everyone is watching." Her tone is a little desperate.

I blink, and look around. Oh. Right. We're not alone. Everyone is indeed looking at us. Most of them look pretty shocked. "S-sorry!" I quickly let her go.

She gets up, and I actually let her help me up this time. That's embarrassing. What is everyone thinking right now? Do I actually care?

* * *

Water has never felt this good before. I could probably drink a whole bucket. Water is good.

"You really surprised me there," Emma says.

"Sorry about that..." Though am I really? I don't feel any particular regret about it.

The look she's giving me makes it feel like she's also doubting my sincerity. She takes a big gulp of water herself.

I wonder if it's bad etiquette to just eat a whole rock of salt? I have a seriously big craving.

"So... is it true, then? What you said?" she asks.

I'm confused. "About the match?"

"No." She shakes her head. "That you love me?"

Oh. I had almost forgotten that slip-up. And was kinda hoping she had too. Or... am I happy that she's kept it in mind? I have a lot of emotions going on right now.

I could try to deny it. But... would it just hurt her at this point? What would she think if I lied, and said no? This is too hard to think deeply about in my current state.

"Yes," I admit. Easier to keep my story straight if I tell the truth.

"Why?" she asks.

What does she mean 'why'? "Because you're cute, and sweet, and good. Strong. I've dreamed of hugging you for so long." Far longer than she can imagine. And not just hugging either.

"Oh... for how long?"

A difficult question. "Since the start." Of this playthrough, and many before it. But she doesn't know about those. I might remember every detail of this game, or at least I did before this playthrough, but I have no idea how long it's been since I fell for her. It feels like forever.

"Then... why were you so mean to me?!"

I look at her. She seems genuinely upset, and not in a cute way, unfortunately. I don't blame her for raising her voice. She is entitled to that much, and there's probably a lot she's been holding in.

"I told you. I have no excuse. I'm just messed up." That's the honest truth. "You have a right to yell at me, you know. After everything I've done... I will accept whatever you want to say."

She pouts at me. "Mmph... I don't understand you."

I laugh gently. "Me neither." I feel a little nervous about asking, but it's probably for the best to make sure. "Do you hate me now?"

"No." I thought she would at least think about it, but the answer is immediate. "And I don't want to yell at you."

"You're too good, you know."

"I'm not sure about that." She moves over to the bench I'm sitting on. "But I would like to get to know you better, I think."

My heart starts beating faster again. She's so close. My hand is shaking a little bit as I dare to place it over hers. She doesn't pull away, so I enclose my hand around hers. It's soft, and warm. At one point I thought her hands might feel as rough as they look, but that's not the case at all. I'm happy I was able to find out.

"Okay," is all I say. Smooth, Francine. Very smooth.