Titanyana followed behind Donovan as they went down to the cafeteria. She wasn't doing anything suspicious, everybody was headed there to eat, but her flicking tail and jittering steps threatened to reveal her intention. Donovan wouldn't notice, he was both ahead of her and focused on something more important, but those behind her? Well if Nemo was as good of an espionage agent as she claimed she would already know, while Len and Rize might just dismiss her actions as concern (which technically wasn't incorrect).

Her biggest struggle was calming herself down enough to not raise suspicion in Diana.

Diana's current status was a mystery to Titanyana, which made her a little bit nervous. She knew Diana was suffering a breakdown, but she wasn't quite sure how bad it was. If it was only a little bit of a breakdown, just some crying and sadness, Titanyana would have to be incredibly careful around her. Diana would be able to see through her in a heartbeat, and Titanyana could not afford to have her affection revealed just yet. 

Of course, Titanyana didn't know Diana had already figured out that she was seeking a more romantic relationship with Donovan. Moreover, Diana was on her side. It wouldn't change much about her outlook even if this information was given to her, Titanyana's immature view of love made her incredibly afraid of other people knowing. To her it was a weakness and a vulnerability, the monogamous culture of the Nekh leading her to believe that such affection for a man promised to another was wrong in some way. Diana would certainly be offended by it if she did not accept such a relationship, and Titanyana's love would remain unrequited. 

Fortunately or unfortunately, her panicked preparations turned out to be for naught. Diana was crying into a bowl that only contained some residual sauce alongside her tears, in no state to analyze Titanyana. Zhoie hand a hand hovering over her back, clearly wondering what it was she should be doing. Titanyana couldn't blame her.

Even if she knew Diana was suffering a breakdown, Titanyana never could have expected her to have fallen this far. Where was her composure? Her elegance? Was she even trying to contain herself? Or was it just this bad? Did she really miss 'home' that much?

Titanyana stopped herself from judging any further, especially after that last question. An incredibly tiny part of her might believe Diana to be her competition in the game of love, but the rest of her recognized that Diana was part of the biggest lifeline she had. More than that, Diana was an acquaintance, a companion, a friend, she would have to be around for a good portion of her life. What good would antagonizing her do? What did Titanyana have to gain by driving a wedge between them in her mind? Did she really have any right to judge her?

If events had followed along their previous track, Titanyana would have ended up in an almost identical situation to Diana - no home, no hope, no family, no people - and she definitely wouldn't have been able to cope to the same degree as Diana had thus far. She fully recognized that she would have given up on life if not for the chance Donovan and Diana had so generously bestowed upon her. Titanyana would restrain herself from thinking negatively of Diana's breakdown, only sympathy.

"You okay Diana?" English without the use of split, the Terrans way of communicating in (almost) privacy. There were a few people who could understand them, Titanyana barely among that number. "Was it something I did?"

"No-ho!" Diana could still get words out, but the sobbing did little to help Titanyana's comprehension. "I'm phine."

"You aren't fine, babe. You're crying."

"It's noffing!"

"Diana." Donovan gently put one of his hands on the back of her neck as he turned her face towards his with the other. "Look at me."

Diana whimpered as Donovan wiped the tears from her eyes. It was clear that she didn't want to be crying, she just couldn't help herself, so when he finally pulled her into a hug she broke down even further. As Diana buried her head into Donovan's neck, Titanyana was struck with the reality that she could not help her right now. This was a job reserved exclusively for Donovan, no amount of effort or conviction would change the fact that he was her anchor.

- - - - -

Donovan forced Diana into a hug. It was a rare bout of resistance to affection on her part, but Donovan recognized it as the only thing he could do for her at the moment. His forays into the realm of comforting others were few and far between.

"You'll be fine."

He wasn't particularly good at talking about emotions or feelings, nor did he have the experience necessary to guide her through her troubles, so he kept his words to affirmations. Supposedly his presence was enough to calm her down, but did that entail conversation? Probably. 

"Do you want to go upstairs?"

Any conversation about 'home' should not take place in public. Even less so when Diana was in such a state. She was the one to keep him in line most of the time, so going somewhere that would expose sensitive information when she couldn't reel him back in was a real possibility. Getting her back to their room would also serve another purpose of course. Their bedroom was one of the only safe spaces that she had, their little cave of silence and intimacy. 

"Mhm." Diana managed to give her permission to be picked up in the middle of tears, hugging Donovan's chest even more tightly as she did so.

Awkwardly, Donovan shuffled around into a position to pick her up. He apologetically shrugged to Zhoie as Diana's high heels brushed against her, but he wouldn't have been able to prevent it. She had moved closer in a vain attempt to comfort Diana, and she couldn't move out of the way in time.

"Will she be okay?" Zhoie likely knew that Diana would also be able to hear her whisper, but concern motivated her to do so anyways. "Was it something I did?"

"She'll be fine, Zhoie. It wasn't anything you did. She just . . . she just wants to go home." Donovan didn't know where to go from there. Everyone here was painfully aware of the fact that 'home' did not exist for Diana, and their reactions showed it. The room seemed to cower, everyone bowing their heads or looking away to some degree, which made Donovan feel a little better.

Strangers though they may be on the whole, they were the friends and allies Diana had been so desperate to find. They were all sympathetic to their plight to some degree or another, and Diana had left a good enough impression on them that they felt her pain. This raised a question for Donovan though, would they feel the same for him?

Had he left the impression that Diana had? What sort of person did they consider him? Was he liked? Disliked? Feared? Loved? What was the general view that the servants had of him? He tried to keep a level of distance between himself and everyone else as per his responsibilities, but was he too distant? 

Despite the time spent together, Donovan didn't really feel like he had built a solid connection with them. They had built connections with each other, Wall and Sanna were practically joined at the hip these days, but he hadn't really clicked with anybody besides Trebar and Rashtvice. He was left wondering if this problem was shared among higher ranking officers. He had read that maintaining a level of distance from your troops was a good way to ensure discipline, but was he too distant? They still needed to have a good enough impression of him to trust his orders and forgive his mistakes, right?

He shook his head. He couldn't worry about such things now, Diana took priority and he was about to start going up the stairs. Cringing on every step, Donovan tried to keep her from shaking. The last thing he wanted was to worsen her mood because he handled her roughly.

"Are we really going to be okay?" By the time they reached the top flight, Diana had stopped sobbing so aggressively. From the growing wet spot Don could tell she hadn't stopped crying, but she was coherent enough to start a conversation. Hopefully she would help him guide her to the end point, but he wasn't getting his hopes up.

"Of course we are."

". . . is that it?"

"Sorry?"

"That's all I get? A vague promise of security? Donovan, are we really going to be okay? Tell me!"

Donovan found himself utterly bewildered by this push. Where had it come from? Obviously she was hurting, but why was that not enough?

"We will be fine, Diana. I won't let anything happen to you."

"And what about you? What if something happens to you?"

". . ." Donovan didn't have an answer for that. He would like to say she would still be okay, the Arboreal Maiden and the Holifanians held themselves responsible for their safety, but would that last? He had been working hard to ensure that Arc would develop industry in the most optimal process, but that wouldn't last forever. How would she handle an armed conflict? 

Donovan was beginning to get what she was worried about, slowly setting her down on the bed. Diana didn't let go of him. He was making an attempt to get her heels off so they could go to bed, but it was clear that Diana did not wish for that. 

"What happens to me when I'm all alone?"

It would seem that her worries and fears took a turn away from home and the past in favor of their safety and the future. Fairly reasonable given their circumstances, and it was a topic which Donovan himself had been putting off. The truth was that they were stuck in an extremely dangerous position they had no way out of, a fact that infuriated him to no extent.

They had discussed at length before their total lack of leverage on the galactic stage. They had the support of the Sanctum and the Holifanians, support they were infinitely appreciative of, but they weren't stupid. One lesson that had been drilled into both of their heads was the idea of fluid relationships - there was no such thing as an eternal ally, nor did eternal enemies exist. Tomorrow's friend is today's enemy and today's friend is tomorrow's enemy, the relationship they held with foreign powers could flip on a dime without any input on their end. 

That was the crux of their problem, they could not guarantee that their backers would remain their backers. Did they believe that they would be betrayed? Not with their current attitudes. Did they believe that they could be betrayed? There was little doubt in their mind. Should ever they be seen as a fundamental threat to either power's integrity there was every possibility that all aid would be cut off, a war of extermination against them another possibility.

It wouldn't even be difficult either. Only two people living well within their agents' ability to reach? It would be a travesty if they failed that task.

"I won't let that happen."

They had devised a few plans to try and secure their lives, most involved playing the Sanctum and the Theocracy against each other, but none of them were slated to be particularly effective. Given how readily the two powers worked with each other, they sure didn't care about the other's influence. One was isolationist, the other a neutral institution, both content to leave each other alone and unwilling to get into open conflict. 

Only once they had established their sovereign state with a functioning industry could they be sure of their safety. The Nekh promised to be loyal, though their Holifanian citizens might cause issues if the Theocracy turned against them, but they weren't the guarantors of their security. The real security lay with Arc.

While Donovan had no intentions of purposely designing for it, all ships in their navy would have some form of override that Arc controlled. He wouldn't be the best commander for them, but it didn't have to be. They had ample evidence that nobody would be capable of matching them in the realm of void warfare. Should ever they have to resort to that strategy, they would have more than enough time to resolve their internal issues and prepare for expansion. 

"You have my word that I will do nothing to endanger my life during training or otherwise."

That was the other half of the plan, expansion. Both understood it to be an inevitability, even if the technological progress of everyone else was slow there would be progress, eventually reaching the point where they posed a military threat. Even if they could not contest on the grounds of quality, quantity was always a threat, so there was only one way they could be absolutely sure of their military security. They had to control more than half of all total resources. 

That was a incredibly large ask. Even on Earth the only way all resources were brought under the absolute control of a single governing body was because of an external threat - Skinnik. How much blood would they have to shed to achieve their goal of security? How many years did they have to get to that point before it became impossible?

Donovan didn't know the answer to either question. They basically boiled down to 'How many people would have to die?' and 'How many planets would he have to conquer?'. The answer to one of those questions gave him the answer to the other. Be it calculated through callous arithmetic or the product of generous estimates, the answer lay in the realm of 'more than he bargained for'. He had yet to see a complete map of the universe (if one even existed) but he had a good idea of how impossible a task he had to complete. 

"I will not leave you alone. I will not let you die. I will not allow us to fail."

Hundreds of thousands of planets? Millions maybe? That was the magnitude being considered in his mind, and he was certain that his estimate was off by at least one zero, maybe two or three. Given the scale he had seen thus far, it was entirely possible that the Sanctum did not have a complete view of the universe. Perhaps there was a vast swath of territory that the Sanctum had no control over, no knowledge of, and no contact with.

"I will stay by your side and protect you from all threats."

They had no indication that this was the case, but the possibility of it being real implied there would be no signs in the first place. If that was the case, and there was an infinitely expansive universe populated with beings both hostile and friendly, then Donovan had to prepare them for an eternity of war. Such was the nature of infinity. The only way to secure half of an infinite amount of resources is to expand infinitely, an impossible task in reality but the sooner they started the better. Should some other power already be working towards that goal they would be behind, and there was no saying what their relative technological level was. 

For now, such thoughts were to be buried deep in his mind. Donovan's most pressing struggles were on a much smaller scale. Learning how to use split and fight with a sword. Securing resources and information about the new world they lived in. Making sure that his lover was healthy and happy. Rome wasn't built in a day, their nation would take much longer, but the journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Still fully clothed on top of the covers with footwear on, Donovan pulled Diana in closer as they drifted off to sleep.

cakeonfrosting

200 chapters!!!

Alright, first things first, I would like all of you who have made it this far to do me a favor. I know I don't ask a lot of you, but if I could bother you to leave a rating on this novel (click one of the stars on the star ratings) or a review (your thoughts typed out to give prospective readers an idea of what they are getting themselves into) I would be very grateful.

Another thing is about the expansion. Popular opinion has made it clear that [ROYAL ROAD] is the most apt site, and so I have started to copy chapters over to there. It is live, the submission has been accepted, so if those of you who have accounts over there could do whatever it is you do I would similarly be grateful. It might take a few days to get all the chapters over, and I will probably have the last twenty or so on backlog to drip-feed over the course of my first month on the site and boost exposure. Scummy, but I want to at least try to play the game.

Now for the some juicy tidbits that come with every milestone!

First off, expect the Pegasus to receive it's entry in the glossary! At long last I am making good on my promise from forever ago!

Next, here is the rough layout of the Terran Empire's Flag.

The colors are supposed to be Black, Grey, White, (some sort of) Blue, Crimson, and GOLD!!! Roundel would have the gray circle + gold star in the center, a middle ring of crimson, and an outer ring of blue. If one of you wonderful fellows more skilled in the art of graphic design than I could redesign it to the standards I will set out below, I would be grateful.

'The point where the blue stripe meets the gray stripe on the flag should also be the transition point from black to white, which is also the point where the circle makes contact with the edge of that triangle. The black stripes on the top, bottom, and left (forward) sides of the flag should extend 15% of the distance toward their opposing side. For example, a flag with a height of 1 and a width of 2 will have horizontal black stripes of thickness 0.15 and a vertical black stripe thickness of 0.3. 

In theory this should mean that the thickness of the horizontal stripes in order should be 15% (black), 17.5% (grey), 7.5% (blue), 20%(crimson), 7.5% (blue) 17.5% (grey), 15% (black).

The radius of the gold star (regular, all side lengths are the same, interior angles either 36 or 72 degrees) should be between 75% and 90% of the radius of its encapsulating grey circle depending on the size of the flag - bigger flag = smaller star - but this is largely negotiable and should be [whatever looks right]. 

An example of real specifications is shown above.'