"Are you this blunt with everyone you speak to?"

"Well, normally I try to be a little bit more personable, but I just explained to you that I have been dragged around all day. I won't claim that I feel tired, I could probably go without sleep for another day or so, I'm just not in the mood to deal with more stupid shit."

Nobody present believed him on the 'I'm not tired' front. Despite his assertion, there were bags forming under his eyes.

"Lord Strauss, I understand your irritation, but a level of respect and civility should be maintained when conversing with a Prime Justice."

"Oh? Is it required by law?" Donovan stared the justice who had made the mistake of speaking to him in such a condescending manner down, forcing him to answer the question by shaking his head 'no'. "Then I am under no obligation to do so. Do not confuse tradition for law, not when both of them are so flawed."

"Flawed?"

"Yeah, flawed. I won't go so far as to say they are 'incorrect' or 'backwards', but they get pretty damn close in my eyes. You might have some of the basics down, juries and such, but your criminal laws are absolutely worthless for the goals you are trying to achieve with them." Donovan failed to elaborate, leaving the Justices indignant and wanting for an explanation. Despite this, they remained silent. Donovan had made it clear that he was not willing to maintain a conversation with multiple people simultaneously.

"Would I be correct in assuming this relates to the court's authority?" The Librarian held the position of 'most likely to appease him', and so she initiated conversation on their behalf. "Something along the lines of the Justice presiding over a case not having enough power?"

"That's a problem, definitely, but I think you should be far more concerned about how a 'neutral' verdict is actually achieved. Do you recall my argument about how I didn't attempt murder?" Donovan accepted a glass of juice from the Scholar, chugging half of the glass in one go. "Well?"

"Um, I suppose so." One of the braver Justices spoke up. "It didn't strike me as particularly odd though."

"Which only speaks to the problem you guys have. I am not a particularly skilled orator, nor do I have much experience as a debater, but that 'argument' I made was something called a 'semantic argument'. Uh, you all have started to study English, haven't you?" If Donovan was to get anywhere they would need to have a rudimentary understanding of the written word, or at least were heading in that direction.

"I have started to teach them the alphabet and some of the more basic terms such as greetings, farewells, and requests." The Scholar spoke on the behalf of the Librarian, who was technically in charge of their education but was still learning herself.

"Have you taught them any words that can have different meanings depending on use?"

"I believe so. Does the word 'can' count?"

Donovan closed his eyes to think about it for a second. Truth be told, the realm of language wasn't his wheelhouse, and he was struggling to come up with a way to adequately describe the failings of their system as he understood them. 

"Yeah, yeah. Um, if you don't mind, could one of you have Arc bring up a photo of a can on one of your tablets? They are familiar with the tablets, right?"

"We try to give them visual representations of the material being taught when possible."

"Good, good. Uh, I'll try to get you guys your own tablets, but it might have to wait until the next academic year." Donovan saw the little light on his watch that indicated Arc had made a note of it. "Anyways, as you might already know, the word 'can' can be used as an expression of ability or inability, 'I can do this' or 'I can not do that'. It may also be used as a request to exercise ability, 'Can I do this thing?' or 'Can you do this thing?'. However a 'can' is also a thing, an object. Scholar, if you would please?"

Donovan had made a point of speaking exclusively in English when setting out the context of his argument so that there would not be any confusion. Split had a tendency to mess around with that sort of thing. 

"That object being shown on screen is something called a 'can'. Now, a 'can' can be more than just a small cylinder used to contain food or oil or whatever else you might put inside of them. Depending on context and intent, it can also mean a garbage receptacle, prison, or toilet. If used as a verb, it may also mean to seal something inside of a can, the object, or be fired from their job. This means that, if you really wanted to be confusing, it would be perfectly permissible to say that someone 'Threw a can in the can while on the can inside the can after he got canned.'"

Donovan leaned back in his chair after that one, allowing them some time to parse what he just said. The Scholar seemed to have gotten it quite quickly given his smile, while the Librarian had to consult her tablet for something, likely a grammatical question. 

"I will translate that into more understandable language now. 'Someone deposited a can - the object - into a garbage receptacle while sitting on the toilet in a prison after he was fired from his job.' Does that make more sense now?'" Donovan watched on in mild amusement as the Justices tried to piece it all together. Even he felt that sentence to be a butchery of his language, but it was the perfect way to demonstrate his point. "Can you see how one word, one term, can have multiple different meanings?"

Hesitantly, the justices nodded. Chances were that they didn't really understand what he was saying, but as the relative expert on the language he was best suited to make this comparison. 

"I don't think this needs explanation, but the opposite is also true. One meaning, one intent, can have multiple different words that represent it. That is the problem your current system faces."

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't quite understand the problem."

Donovan rolled his eyes. "The problem is that your justice system is completely lacking in concrete definitions. As I demonstrated back in the courtroom, it can be incredibly easy to make an argument for one specific term to fit a definition, a semantic argument. Tell me, if I hadn't made that argument, what are the chances that I would have been declared innocent?"

Most of the Justices averted their gazes in guilt. They did not believe that he would have escaped being exiled.

"If you hadn't mentioned that you attempted to kill him, I am certain that you would have been fine!"

"So you think I should have just broken the law? You know it's against the law to lie in court, right? Lies by omission are still lies." The Justice who had tried to defend their position ended up looking like a fool instead. "That's another problem with your system, your overreliance on the contending parties to recount the events leading up to the crime, as well as the crime itself. It's fine to have them tell their side of the story, from what I hear it is a good way to give each party the chance to justify their position, but you idiots barely do anything to verify the truth of what was said. You can have some degree of confidence over the veracity of their stories if they agree, sure, but what the hell do you do to guarantee it?"

The crowd responded with an awkward silence, most of them looking to the Librarian. In all likelihood, they were probably more concerned about getting her permission to speak rather than pondering a real answer. They had plenty of experience in situations where multiple people wanted to speak simultaneously, experience presiding over those situations, so they understood the importance of 'taking turns' when it came to debate so that their points didn't become muddled. The Librarian was the highest authority in the room aside from Donovan, someone who held a higher status in their eyes both as a teacher and Scion of the Great Csillacra.

"Decide your order amongst yourselves. I've already had this conversation with Diana, though I must say she was in a much better mood than Donovan when I did so." She said this, but pointed to the Justice closest to her. He was to be the group's 'leader'.

"Ah, uh, very well. Shall I be the first to respond?" His coworkers nodded in the affirmative. "I am certain that you already know this, but we do request witnesses come and clear things up for us whenever a discrepancy arises."

"And? How do you know that they are telling the truth? What if you don't have witnesses?"

The Justice frowned. "In that case, we really only have the word of the involved parties and the Enforcers to go off of."

"Do you have any idea how much that answer pisses me off?" Donovan stared at the Justice who spoke with cold eyes. "The Enforcers are so much better at your jobs its kind of embarrassing. How much do you think they do???"

"I'm . . . sorry?"

"I'm asking you idiots if you have any idea about how much information the Enforcers actually get." An insult directly to their faces, bringing their competence into question. "I swear, they are the most important fucking resource in the room and you guys don't seem to know it!"

"I understand they are influential in maintaining order over the courtroom, but-"

"IDIOT!!!" Donovan interrupted him before he could embarrass himself further "Shit, it's like you guys don't even know your own laws. It is not the job of the Enforcers to maintain order over the court, that is your job. They are merely a tool to that end. The primary role of the Enforcers is to provide neutral testimonies to the court covering gathered evidence, interpretations of previously transpired events, and collect testimonies from bystanders among other things."

"What?!" "How dare you claim we don't know our jobs!"

"I would advise you all to remain silent." A relatively incensed Scholar was the one to keep them in line this time. "I do not know what exactly it is your successors have taught you, but it is clear that at some point in the past an important aspect of the law was left out of the education process. I have no idea how it happened given that such information has been passed on in the annals of the Library, so I can only imagine that at some point a group of Prime Justices decided to abolish this process."

"Are you insinuating corruption?"

"He is insinuating laziness, or perhaps incompetence." The Librarian continued in her student's defense. "This change could have happened centuries ago, or it could have happened millennia ago, though I am certain it is not a recent one given our records. It is entirely possible that the practice was dropped unintentionally, multiple lengthy spans of criminal inactivity could have limited courtroom exercise of that practice and so it was eventually left by the wayside. I do have to wonder why it is that such a practice was not dispensed with among the Enforcers, however."

"I can answer that for you." Donovan's leg started bouncing, his heel tapping on the ground. "They are the ones who write up the reports. They are the ones who arrest the criminals. They are the ones with a vested interest in making sure troublemakers stop making trouble. They are the ones closest to the problems, in relatively constant action, and so they are going to retain their edge."

"In the end, the 'why' is irrelevant. The only real point that matters is that the justices are, on the whole, not using the Enforcers to the fullest. As a result, the chance of an improper verdict being reached is greatly increased."

"So then what is it that we need to do to fix it?"

"From the way you have been speaking, I cannot imagine you three think going back to the way things once were is for the best."

Donovan looked at the two who had just spoken before looking back at the Librarian. "Do you want to tell them?"

"In this case, I think it would be for the best if you did."

"Geh, fine." He took a deep breath and sighed. "I think it would be for the best if the powers of the Justices to move the processes forward are somewhat curtailed, and that said powers be invested into the Enforcers. Of all parties with authority in the room, the Justices are currently the ones with the least amount of information on the case right up until the end, information that you simply do not have the civil or bureaucratic infrastructure to record and convey as you lack a proper written language-"

"Are you insulting the writings of the Arboreal Maiden?"

"Yes, yes I am. Sanctum Script is utter dogshit if you are trying to actually communicate with people properly and effectively. Individual and unique characters for every single independent form of intent? You must be out of your fucking mind if you think that approaches anything close to being an acceptable way to communicate given how long it takes to learn. How many millions of different combinations of symbols and strokes do you need to memorize to approach anything resembling coherence in practice? How many years did you have to study just to be left with a sub-par system?"

"W-well, I wouldn't say that it is sub-par. . ."

"The average justice spends about twelve years of their lives studying Sanctum Script in tandem with the law before being granted permission to reside over a courtroom as a magistrate."

"Thank you, Scholar. Setting aside the fact that this language exists only in writing and therefore has no verbal connection, I will use statistics connected to those born deaf or otherwise hearing impaired. I don't know when you all began to learn Sanctum Script, but the average for a human, er, Terran individual has historically been between the ages of four and six. Now I have been told that it was relatively hard for the deaf to ever reach a level approaching absolute proficiency, but they could reach the level where it became possible to communicate effectively for the rest of their lives using only written English anywhere from the ages of thirteen to seventeen."

"What does this have to do with-"

"This means that, even under the harshest assessment of their general intelligence level, you could expect a deaf individual to learn how to write and comprehend English to a legally satisfactory degree after thirteen years of education. Mind you, this education would focus more on English exclusively than other fundamental skills like history, the sciences and mathematics, but it still goes to show that an individual who is operating at such a relative disadvantage in comparison to you is capable of learning a language in about as much time as you are. Personally, I believe that their understanding of English actually exceeded your understanding of Sanctum Script if only because it provides them the ability to communicate exclusively by way of English. Tell me, would any of you be able to do the same with Sanctum Script?"

"No, if only for the reason that the vast majority of others cannot-"

"Then it is a worthless language, worse than worthless actually. I believe that Sanctum Script has been an active detriment to the development and bureaucratic capacity of the Sanctum and those foreign institutions that utilize it in their functions. It is so inefficient as to be harmful, taking up time that could better be spent developing other skills to the point where it is considered a worthless skill unless you are to spend your life studying it. A language is pretty much by definition, supposed to be something that the common people can learn to better store and convey information, be it by way of oral tradition or written record."

"Please do not speak so harshly of a language you hardly-"

"Even the homeless on the street had a basic understanding of written English, recognizing patterns and letters from the signs and connecting it to the speech of others if without an elementary education. Complex information and concepts could be stored for other people to read and learn from. So long as someone had an understanding of the fundamentals, basic grammar structure and verbalization, it is possible for information to be arranged and presented in such a manner inside of these books that people may teach themselves English without the oversight of a teacher. It is possible to do the same for other concepts as well. Just to give you an example, lawfare."

"What you are saying is prepos-"

"How many books about argumentation do you think I read in the week before this trial? How much do you think I understood? Before today I had zero experience in a courtroom, zero. And yet I prevailed on my first case without much of an issue. I think an argument can be made that speaks to the inefficacy of your laws, but that effort I put in also played a part."

"Oh come now, learning both our laws and-"

"Every time one of you opens your mouth to try and argue before I am done telling you your problems only makes me more irritated, so I suggest you all shut the fuck up until I give you the chance to speak. Am I understood?"

They all shivered, collectively feeling like the temperature dropped a few degrees before nodding in understanding.

"Then shut the hell up and let me talk. You know what, I'll do you a favor and condense it all down into a few key points about how shit Sanctum Script is, we all want to go home anyways don't we?

1. It is too complex too be learned by the lowest common denominator.
2. The ideas held within are sub-par, they do not adequately define what needs to be defined in a reasonably simple manner.
3. The lack of a spoken equivalent makes it next to impossible to learn, leaving those who seek to understand it without a sensory connection to work off of.
4. The language does not perpetuate itself, without outside assistance it is impossible to make progress.
5. The above previous two points mean that if the chain of knowledge is ever broken, that meaning that the only person who understands a word's meaning dies, forgets it, or is otherwise unable to convey the information held within, that meaning is likely to be lost forever.
6. In tandem with the previous three points, Sanctum Script is completely incapable of natural propagation. Lack of a pattern based writing system and a spoken language to accompany it means that it cannot be self-taught. This also means that the only relevant information that can be conveyed is that which has, to some degree, already been learned. Should the 'teachers' of this language find themselves unable to teach, a ridiculous amount of effort and guesswork will be required to figure the language out once more.

I think that about covers it, wouldn't you say?"

"That seems roughly correct." The Librarian nodded. She had received a similar explanation, not from either of the Terrans, but from the Arboreal Maiden herself. "Might I add that the many of the words learned are rarely used if ever at all?"

"That would be a waste of time and effort, so it counts as well. I should mention that English has some of those words too, words like, shit uh, uh, 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocious'?"

"What?" "Huh?"

"It sounds atrocious and using it makes you look precocious, but it actually means wonderful to an incredible degree."

cakeonfrosting

Love me a Mary Poppins reference, and this was the perfect place to put it. Additionally, I am proud to say that I spelled this word perfectly the first time! For that, I must give a special thanks to my third grade teacher, Mrs Hoogendorn, who had us spell that word on our last English spelling test of the year as 'extra credit' that would immediately give you a 110% if you got it right. I don't think I managed to get it right then, but expecting that to be a word used in the real world I committed it to memory.