Despite my best attempt at getting to skip the entire last battle, Window wasn’t having it. She wanted a proper battle.
So we had a proper battle.
Then it was over and—
|
Oh no, you discovered the power of narrative time skips. BUT IT WON’T WORK A BATTLE IS HAPPENING |
And then it wasn’t over after all. In fact, it didn’t even start yet.
|
smh what am i going to DO with you i swear every chapter my patience gets tested |
Window aside, I had to figure out who to do what with. Since a few of my wives were away still to go be elderly together with my daughter, I was probably going to have to reuse somebody as I basically went through everybody already. I thought. I wasn’t sure.
I lost track.
I might have been basically a god, but keeping track of all my wives was still difficult. There was so much amazing and perfect about them that it was hard for my brain to really remember every single tiny detail.
|
translation: he was thinking about flowers and boobs |
There was also the undeniable fact that I was thinking about flowers and boobs.
But Window, flowers, and boobs aside, I—
“Master! Master!” Delphi shouted, her voice rapidly growing louder.
I knew exactly what was about to happen.
I turned around to face the direction of her voice and thrust my arms out past my sides to prepare for what was to come.
Surely enough, Delphi was charging at me, and then she jumped and flew right into me.
Because I was prepared, I managed to catch her and brace myself rather than get knocked over and skid across the ground, and Delphi giggled once I had her in my arms.
“Done being a teacher?” I asked.
Delphi smiled and nodded her head against my chest before looking up into my eyes. “Yep! And I made a discovery!”
“Yeah? And what would that be?”
“I discovered that every microsecond I spend away from you, my urge to get clingy and cuddle multiplies by a trillion!”
“I’m pretty sure numbers stop mattering at the point where they get so big a normal person can’t comprehend them anymore.”
“It’s okay, you don’t need to understand the big numbers. All you need to know is that, at the current rate of cuddling, it’ll take… a few trillion years for me to stop wanting to cuddle!”
“So, I have to cuddle with you for a few trillion years.”
“Yep!”
“Alright. Once the battle is over and things have calmed down, I’ll create a pocket universe for us where we can cuddle for trillions of years, and only a few seconds of time will pass here for everybody else. Deal?”
Delphi blinked a couple of times and cocked her head to the side. “Master… I was just being cute and silly. I know you can’t cuddle me for trillions of years.”
“Who said I can’t?” I looked her right in the eyes, making sure to look and sound as serious as I could. “Do you doubt me, Delphi? Do you doubt that I have it in me to cuddle with you for trillions of years?”
“But… but that’s a really long time! Wouldn’t you get bored of me by then?”
“Delphi, even if I spent every last second until the end of time itself and beyond cuddling with you, I still wouldn’t get bored of you. That’s why we’re going to cuddle for trillions of years in a pocket dimension later.”
Delphi might have looked hesitant to accept that offer, but the rapid wagging of her tail definitely didn’t look hesitant. “Can… can we really do that?”
“Of course we can. However… if we do that, I’m going to temporarily make myself impotent until it’s over so that we don’t have billions of children by the time we’re done, because I won’t be able to stop at only cuddling you.”
Delphi looked away and then quietly muttered, “What if I poke a hole in your impotency?”
“I don’t think it works that way.”
“But… if it’s with Master… I wouldn’t mind having billions or even trillions of babies…”
Hearing her say that, I remembered back in the day when a dragon girl playing games in a mountain all day was absurd, and so was said dragon girl being able to create a pocket dimension. Yet, there I was, saying I would cuddle Delphi for trillions of years and considering having trillions of children with her during that time period.
I no longer had the right to ever play the straight man. I was too broken by the absurdity of reality to play that role anymore, especially when I was breaking the rules of the universe all on my own.
“I’ll think about the babies part,” I said, causing Delphi’s tail to wag even faster while even triggering her eyes to, quite literally, sparkle with excitement. “Alright, I thought about it. We’ll do it.” How could I say anything else after seeing her get so excited?
Delphi hugged me even tighter than she already was and rubbed her face from side to side against my chest with such intensity that I was worried about her hurting herself from friction burn. Instead, when she stopped, she was simply grinning. “I’m so excited! I can’t wait until—oh, wait. I just remembered.”
“What?”
“I came over here to tell you something.”
“Other than wanting to cuddle?”
Delphi nodded. “Yeah. I wanted to tell you that I learned something.”
“I thought you were the one doing the teaching, not the learning?”
“A good teacher is one who knows that there is always room for growth! Even for themselves!”
“Makes sense. So, what did you learn? I’m assuming it has to do with soup in some way?”
Delphi nodded, of course. “I’ve learned my ultimate attack!”
“Your… ultimate attack?”
“Yep!”
“Is that different from your usual special attack?”
“Yep!”
“By the way, what happened to all those crabs who volunteered to be made into crab soup?”
“Yep! Wait. I mean, they went home since class is over.”
“They didn’t die? I thought you were teaching the crabs to cannibalize themselves or something.”
Delphi looked utterly appalled at the idea. “Soup would never do something so horrible! Soup is the food of life! Of the soul! The flavor in soup comes from the soul of all its ingredients!”
“So, you made soup with their souls?”
“Yep! By soaking in the broth, their souls infused the soup with crab soul flavor!” Suddenly, Delphi’s eyes went wide. “Wait… souls… soup… soul soup. I need to develop a soul soup!”
“If soup is infused with flavor from the souls of its ingredients, isn’t all soup already soul soup?”
“That’s just normal soup! I need to make soul soup! Soup that is flavored with the soul of a soul!”
“The… soul of a soul?”
|
oh no, it happened again “soul” doesn’t look like a real word anymore from how much it’s been used |
I ignored Window, as was usually the right action to take whenever she was around, which prompted her to swing herself into the side of my head as I waited for Delphi’s explanation.
“Yeah!” Delphi said. “You have to take a soul, and then flavor the soup with the soul’s soul!”
“Do souls have souls? I thought souls just… are. It would be like wanting to flavor something using an apple’s apple. The apple can’t have an apple because it is the apple.”
Delphi unwrapped her arms from me, walked a few steps away, and then.. dramatically turned around while wearing star-shaped sunglasses that covered up most of her face before pointing up at the sky—well, the ocean’s surface, and shouted, “Just who do you think I am?! I’m Delphi! Of Team Soup! If you can’t believe in the soup, then believe in the me who believes in the soup!”
Clawdia, who had previously been in all sorts of pleasure, couldn’t help but to shove that aside to stand up and look at Delphi with an immense expression of pride. “You’ve learned so well, nya.”
“Am I missing something?” I asked.
“I introduced the dog sisters to the greatest anime of all time so that they could learn some real culture, nya. They might merely be canines, but that does not mean they cannot strive to be as cultured as a feline!”
“When did this happen?”
“Nya? Are you surprised that we do things on our own without you and that you are not aware of every single thing we do?”
“I’m just curious.”
“Hmph. It wouldn’t hurt you to act a little yandere for us.”
“Keep in mind that now that I have godlike powers, you might want to think twice about me acting like a yandere for you.”
“Hot, nya. Wait, I’m moving away from my tsundere trope. I—I mean… it’s not like I want you to be a super hot godly yandere for me who abuses your powers over the universe to manipulate and control me and lock me away so that nobody else can have me! Nya!”
“I’ll do something better.”
“What—what could be better?”
Ignoring her could be better. That was why I looked at Delphi again and said, “Alright, I’ll believe in the you who believes in the soup.”
Clawdia was already looking flustered again. Her masochism extended to being emotionally neglected, too, so ignoring her was as good as hurting her. As for Delphi, she took the absurd sunglasses off and smiled. “Good! And one day, you won’t have to believe in the me who believes in soup! You can believe in the you who believes in soup! But hopefully I don’t have to die first for that to happen…”
“I wouldn’t let any of you die in the first place. Anyways, Window has been shaking progressively faster this entire time, so I’m pretty sure she’s going to blow up at us if we don’t get this battle started. Of course, if she would have just let us break or skip it, she wouldn’t have to be dealing with us procrastinating at the moment. Really, this is all her fault.”
|
i WILL destroy you |
“Destroy deez nutz,” Cami said out of absolutely nowhere, causing Window to literally explode.
Me and Cami high-fived each other after that.
Anyways, to get back to the point, I chose Delphi and Cami for the next battle, and Claire and Chloe were sent on the exploration.
As for my lap, none other than my very first wife decided to take up position on it while we waited for the battle to begin.
“Very epic,” Vala said as she made herself comfortable on my lap. “This is definitely the second-best seat ever.”
“Only the second-best?” I asked. “Then what’s the first?”
“Delphi’s thighs. As much as I love you, your thighs aren’t as thick and soft as hers. You know, she’s got the kind of thighs where it’s impossible for her to have a thigh gap when standing up straight. It’s all squish, zero gap. You basically sink into her thighs from how squishy they are. Her thighs are like memory foam cushions. But your thighs? Your thighs are just, you know, a guy’s thighs. The only reason they even make it up to second place is because of the power of love boosting them by adding sentimental value.”
“So, the power of love is only the second strongest thing in the universe, beaten only by Delphi’s thighs.”
“Yep. Her thighs could crush a black hole between them.”
I looked over at Delphi’s thighs as she waited for the first enemies to reach her.
Vala had a point.
And by realizing that Vala had a point…
Was I naïve? Was I a fool all along?
I obsessed with fluff. Then I obsessed with breasts because they reminded me of fluff.
But…
Was I missing out on thighs?
Were thighs just as incredible, if not potentially even more incredible, than boobs and fluff? Could thighs, especially Delphi’s thighs, be even softer than fluff? Even more pleasurable than Claire’s breasts?
“Vala,” I said, “I think you might have opened a whole new universe for me.”
“Join us,” Vala replied, “in the universe of thighs.”
I looked over Vala’s shoulder down at her thighs.
“Hey, don’t look at my thighs after we talked about Delphi’s. Mine are like twigs compared to hers.”
I reached around Vala to grope her thighs. Sure, they were nowhere near as thick as Delphi’s, but they were still pretty soft and had enough to squeeze. They weren’t twigs by any means. “These are still pretty squishy and soft.”
“I’d still feel a little insecure compared to Delphi’s thighs if it wasn’t for the fact that I can feel it poking me now. I guess you wouldn’t feel so lively if my thighs weren’t good enough…”
“Every part of you is good enough for me, from the tips of your horns to the soles of your feet.”
“Heh. Epic. Anyways, shouldn’t you be paying attention to the battle instead of my thighs? Window already tried popping up twice now with introductions for new enemies.”
“Why would I read about that when I could be staring at your thighs? Also, with how loose your shirt is, and the fact that you’re sitting on my lap, I have a pretty good view down it from here.”
“Geez… you’re like a beast sometimes. But I won’t complain about that. You probably should pay attention to the battle for Window’s sake, though.”
“I know. I just wanted to bully her and praise you some more.” I gave Vala’s thighs another squeeze before forcing my eyes away and looking at the battle that was already underway. “Alright, Window. Time to focus on the—”
|
MAINTENANCE IS OVER IN MY OTHER GACHA AND THERE’S A HUGE NEW UPDATE THAT’S MORE IMPORTANT HAVE FUN WITH THE BATTLE STUFF I GUESS LATER |
And just like that, Window vanished.
“You understand why I bully her, right?” I asked Vala.
“Yep,” Vala answered. “She deserves it. So, want to just give my thighs more attention until it’s time for you to go break the boss battle?”
“Sounds like a good plan to me.”
Patreon
