Dear Cousin

by Heart

Content enticements/warnings:

☀️

22nd May 2022

Dear Cousin,

By the time you find this letter in my room, I’m probably on my flight overseas. I know what you’re thinking, so my answer is yes. Yes, I’m flying there to see him. At least for the duration of this summer break.

I felt like if I didn’t try to seek him out over there, I would regret it. You were the one that told me to follow my heart and so I will. I plan to confess to him when I get there. Wish me good luck! I really need it and I know you always hope the best for me. Maybe if you’re the one wishing me luck, I might succeed but if I don’t, please lend me your shoulder as always.

Regarding my well-being there, please don’t worry. I have contacted Uncle Joe that I will be flying there but not to the same city. He arranged a living place for me so that he knows where to find me and I will be safer. I will make sure to visit him and tell him that we both have missed him a lot. Also, yesss, I brought some souvenirs to give to him. I didn’t forget it this time. You always nag me about not bringing stuff to our relatives when visiting that it’s now stuck in my head.

Anyways, I will write to you weekly but I don’t know how fast the postal service will be so you don’t have to make an effort to reply to me.

Have fun with your summer break without me! But not too much fun cause you miss me. Ok bye.

Your one and only fav cousin,

Eli.

—

29th May 2022

Dear Cousin,

I know there is an easier way to contact you in this day and age but isn’t writing letters fun? Let’s pretend we don’t text or call each other. Plus, data roaming is expensive! I had to go to a coffee shop to use the internet and then I’m reminded that I’m a broke-ass student to afford such fancy coffees. Ughhhh.

Anyway, as promised, here is your weekly letter.

For your information, I only managed to meet up with Jef yesterday. He was so busy with his postgraduate studies that he didn’t have time to see me until the weekend. He promised that he will show me around campus on Monday if he managed to find a time that day. So I will be going there to see him on Monday. I’m looking forward to it!

I know you must be wondering what I have been doing for the whole week while not managing to see him (pretend like I haven’t told you over the phone already!).

First, I settled down in this studio apartment Uncle Joe arranged for me. Did I tell you that he even arranged for someone to pick me up? He was being too careful. I’m not a baby anymore! But, like you said, he only had ever seen me when I was like 12 and he hadn’t been back since. Oh well, I deserve all these pamperings since obviously, I’m everyone’s favourite.

After that, I explored the area and found many interesting spots. I have attached some photos of the handsome me in this letter. Please don’t throw them out. The photo paper ain’t cheap and I bought a lot just so I could send you my photos.

You must be wondering how I printed it. I borrowed Ann’s mini photo printer. She let me borrow it but she wasn’t generous enough to provide me with the photo paper. I had to buy them myself, so I will use them all during this vacation. Look forward to it. This way, you won’t miss me too much.

Also, I did consider surprising Jef by going to his campus at first but knowing that he flew here to continue his postgraduate made me hesitate. He’s probably super busy with his workload for the semester. Oh, I didn’t tell you that I haven’t told him yet… Well, you know about what. It was just that the moment never felt right so I just couldn’t say it. I will try again when I see him tomorrow.

Again, wish me luck. Don’t just wish me well. Your cousin is very healthy right now. The jetlag was gone after a whole day of sleep on my first day here.

I’m ending this letter here. Will send you another update next week.

Your Fav,

Eli.

—

5th June 2022

Dear Cousin,

I don’t know what to write or rather how to write to you. I sat still in front of the desk for a very long time but I still couldn’t come up with words to tell you. I couldn’t even tell you through the chat so I avoided connecting to the Wi-Fi when I could. I wish I could call you but I think I just needed time. Time to rethink my decision of coming here and spending my savings here of all the places that I could do so.

I… I think he already has someone he likes. He came here for that person. I knew it when I saw the way he introduced the person to me.

Yue. That’s his name. The way Jef looked at him was something I haven’t seen him do before. His eyes softened and he smiled happily as he looked at Yue. Guess what? They both are doing their postgraduates here.

Of course, smart people will probably end up together. I could barely keep up with my semesters and I’m only a library studies major. However, the two of them are both in Chemical Engineering!!! I’m too dumb to even They are so smart that they could even continue pursuing their postgraduate studies. I…

I don’t know. I wish you were here. You would probably give good advice at this time.

I don’t even know how I managed to spend my week here. Jef kept telling me he was busy to see me but he seemed to always have time for Yue. I know that because I’ve been hanging around his campus and saw the two of them always sticking next to each other. Yet, he wouldn’t give me the time of his day. I probably shouldn’t have gone to visit his campus at all. It hurts.

At some point during the week though, Jef introduced Jin to me. He is someone Jef got to know while studying here. Jef said that since he was too busy to accompany me on my long vacation here, he asked Jin to take me around since the guy is taking a semester off so he has more time than Jef or so he claims. Basically, he threw me into this random guy I just met. Maybe he just didn’t want me around. I’m not even sure why Jin even agreed to do it.

Honestly, I actually don’t feel like going out anymore but me and my big mouth had already said yes. Plus, Jin seems like an okay guy. I guess I will be going with him to visit some of the tourist spots I had planned on visiting later. Maybe this will give me time to process my feelings along with everything that has happened this week. If not, I could always just take the next flight back.

I know you’d be happy to have me back regardless.

I miss you.

Yours always,

Eli.

—

12th June 2022

Dear Cousin,

I had a great time this week. Jin brought me to places and humored me when I wanted to take photos everywhere we visited. Surprisingly, he has a good eye for angles. Almost all the photos came out great!

Apparently, he is taking a dual major, Physics and Mechanical Engineering. Wow! He’s so smart but he seems quite different from other smarties I know. He’s quite fun to be around. He’s very friendly and has a very nice smile too

He also told me that he took a semester break so that he has time to catch up on his studies and do his own review at his own pace before having to dive back in. When I told him that I’m not as smart as him, he said the same thing you did when we chatted last time.

I might not be book smart but that doesn’t mean I’m dumb. He said that I’m very knowledgeable. I seemed to have surprised him because I knew more about the places we went to than him who had been living here longer than I have visited. That’s the nicest thing someone else aside from my relatives said to me.

Also, when you called me the other day, Jin was there with me. We were out eating ice cream so he heard a little of our conversation. He started asking about you so I told him about us and even our weekly letters. He said that I must like you lots which I corrected that I love you lots! We grew up like siblings so, of course, it is only natural that I do.

He also said that I finally talked about someone other than Jef. Do I talk about Jef that much? Is that why you always nag me about Jef? Cause I always bring him up?

Well, whatever. I don’t want to think about Jef right now. Every time I do, it hurts. I wonder if what you've told me before was really true. He was just someone I admired. Still, how come I admire you but I don’t want to do “stuff” with you. Yuck. Ah but I still love you. Muah.

Oh! By the way, I showed him the photos of you and me together. He was surprised by the number of photos I have of you on my phone. He suddenly asked if we could take photos together and I was like, why not.

So that's why there is a photo of a very dashing young man next to my new friend attached to this letter. Hehe.

Still Yours,

Eli.

P/S: Thank you for calling me and checking up on me. I’m fine and listened to your advice to enjoy my vacation. Love ya!

—

19th June 2022

Dear Cousin,

It’s been almost a month since I came here and there have been so many things happening this week. I don’t even know where to start. Uhh, I guess I will start from the beginning of the week.

This week started with Jin taking me out again and I definitely had a lot of fun. We went to the beach and played in the water until sunset. The sky was beautiful and I felt like it would’ve been the perfect time to be with the person you like. I said that to Jin and he agreed. He said that sharing such moments with the person you’re most comfortable with gives you a sense of serenity. His eyes showed such optimism that I started to wonder who would make him feel that way in these moments of admiring life as it is.

We ended the day after we played with some sparkles and took a few photos. And of course, I won’t deprive you of such pleasure in seeing my beautiful body under the hot summer sun. I’m so glad you dragged me to the gym before summer started. Though I have to admit, Jin actually has a better body than mine as his muscles are more defined. and when the sun shines on his abs

Anyway, after that, we kept going to other places until on Friday, Jef invited me to Yue’s birthday party that was celebrated yesterday. That’s when I also found out that Jin was Yue’s childhood friend. So I was like, “Ok. Cool.” But Jin didn’t even invite me to the party despite us being good friends now that we’ve spent all these times together. Am I the only one that considers us friends? Maybe I’m overthinking this cause it’s not like it's his birthday. It’s Yue’s and I don’t even know if I like Yue.

What annoyed me most is that during the birthday party, Jef gave Yue 100% of his attention. He would even serve Yue food as if the guy couldn’t feed himself. Ugh. It frustrates me because I never had that kind of relationship with Jef.

Later that night, Jin suddenly pulled me aside and… he asked if I like Jef. I was so shocked that I couldn’t answer him. Instead, I was like, “How did you know that?” and he was like, it’s so obvious by the way I look and act around Jef.

Again, if I’m that obvious, do you think Jef had already known it?

Maybe I should really tell Jef how I feel soon? What if he rejects me?

Ugh, I feel like I could hear you say, “You won’t know if you don’t do it.”

Maybe I will find the courage to confess to him.

Oh please, cousin. Give me your strength to do this.

Also, I miss you again. I miss playing games with you. I might plan to go back soon but first and foremost, I must do what I came to do before I can come home to you.

Your handsome and determined cousin,

Eli.

—

26th June 2022

Dear Cousin,

I did it… I confessed to him. It took me several days of hovering around his campus to do it but I managed to do it. It was actually on impulses but I did it. The impulse came when I saw him brushing away a leaf that fell on Yue’s hair on Thursday so I just rushed forward without thinking.

I told him loudly that I needed to talk to him alone. I probably scared the two of them by appearing out of nowhere but I didn’t care at that time. Now that I’m thinking back, that was probably hasty of me.

You must be wondering what the result was…

He… Well, he… rejected me. He said he likes someone else and didn’t see me as anything more than just his underclassman. I’m not surprised by his statement though.

Honestly, I thought I’d be more disappointed than this but somehow it felt like a weight is off my chest. It made me really want to go back home and see our family again. I miss you. I miss mom and dad.

I miss you guys so much that I went to visit uncle Joe that evening by taking a bus. He was surprised when I called to tell him I was there in his city. He scolded me when he picked me up but told me I could stay over at his house as long as I want. He let me borrow Mac’s room and clothes.

I was planning on staying here a couple of days then go back to the studio apartment to pick up the stuff I left there and then grabbing the first flight back home.

However, Jin called me. He had been reaching out but I hadn’t been replying to him. I just didn’t know what to tell him. Am I supposed to go, “hey you were right, I really like him but he rejected me.” I managed to avoid him until he called so much that Uncle Joe told me that it's rude to leave people hanging and that if I didn’t want to be friends with him anymore, I should tell him straight up.

I couldn’t say refute Uncle Joe so I ended up picking up Jin’s call. He asked me what was wrong and I just straight up told him everything. My frustration about coming here for a pointless reason. I thought that it would be different. I don’t know. I didn’t really have any expectation of him accepting me but I didn’t expect to hear it… because of someone else. It made me start to feel like I’m all alone here in this foreign country. Maybe because it’s already been more than a month since I started this vacation and I’m homesick.

Jin managed to somehow convince me to extend my stay for just one more week. He said he wanted to take me out somewhere. I felt like I might not see him again after this and that felt sucky so I said yes.

I will be home soon though. Maybe just one more letter for you to look forward to!

Your most loveable cousin,

Eli.

P/S: Uncle Joe’s cat is adorable!!! Too bad you can only see the picture and not the real thing because it's incomparable!

—

3rd July 2022

Dear Cousin,

I did many things this week but the ending of this week came as a bit of a shocker. I would tell you what it is but I think to make you understand the context, I will talk about what happened during the week before leading up to the ending.

At first, it was great because Jin drove me almost everywhere we could visit that we hadn’t already visited. He even asked if there was anything on my bucket list that I want to do and we went ahead and did everything we could.

Bungee jumping is so fun! We tried almost everything we could in a day before moving on when he brought me to an extreme park. We even went to see the mountains. Yes, we saw it and we left. Why conquer the mountain top when you can just admire it. I’m glad Jin felt the same.

Aside from the mountains, we went to the amusement park next to the sea. We went to the rare flower garden. We went to ride a hot air balloon.

We had done everything we could that made me feel glad I came here and did all that. As for the cost of doing the majority of them were paid for by Jin. I tried to pay him back but at most, he only allowed me to buy him lunches and dinner. He said that he wants me to enjoy the week without worrying about anything else. Plus, he has money to spare from his side gigs. I wonder what they are? I didn’t manage to ask him because we were having too much fun.

Anyway, when we finished everything I had wanted to do, we went back. I made sure to clean the apartment while I pack my things. So don’t you worry about me leaving a mess. Uncle Joe was nice enough to provide me accommodation that this was the least I could do for him. I have given the stuff to Uncle Joe and in return, I got many souvenirs I want to bring back and give to everyone.

Seeing as I was leaving soon, Jin wanted to take me out for our possibly last lunch ever. I was expecting it to be just us but surprisingly, Jef and Yue appeared out of nowhere. Yue was the one that approached our table and asked if they could join us. Before any of us could say anything, Yue had already taken a seat. Honestly, things are still awkward with me and Jef as we haven’t talked since that day but Yue took the seat next to Jin, so Jef had to sit next to me.

It was awkward but all I could do is pretend to be ok with it. I wanted it to be just Jin and me but it was too late to reject them by then.

At some point, Yue was clinging so much to Jin that I started to feel annoyed. I don’t know why but it felt like he was trying to grab Jin away from me. They might have been friends longer than I have with Jin but he is also my friend.

Also, I don’t know how or why but for some reason, I ended up being left alone with Yue. He suddenly started to be rude to me and was forcing me to stay away from him as if I was so disgusting. Of course, I fought back cause you know I can’t stay quiet if people were rude to me. Then when Jef and Jin came back, I was scolded for being rude to Yue who apparently didn’t do anything to me?! I couldn’t believe it! I was like livid!

Ugh!!! I’m coming home tomorrow! Fu-

You know what, I need to calm down and the best way I could do that is by flying to the countryside and heading straight to grandma’s house. Come and visit me there. I don’t want to be in the city yet. Too tiring. I need grandma’s healing aura.

See you! You must visit, ok! I missed you.

Missing you,

Eli.

—

410th July 2022

Dear Cousin,

I was kissed. Jin… he… he said he likes me. He said it right before my flight.

I couldn’t answer him because I don’t know how I feel about him. I was angrier about the fact that Yue was acting fake. I felt like Jin was scolding me as well despite not saying anything that day. I didn’t bother letting him explain or allowed him to see me despite his spam calls.

He did his best trying to see me right after our lunch but I avoided him like the plague. Never did I think that he would ambush me at the airport.

He suddenly said that he likes me right before my flight. I was like, that’s not possible between us because we live far apart. He refused to accept that as my answer because distance shouldn’t matter. I insisted it should! I’m already having trouble being away from my family even though I was on a vacation. Of course, I would want the person I love to be closer to me. Even if we won’t be in the same city but at least in the same country!

He asked if I would say yes if he was living nearer and I said yes without thinking. Then… he was like… “Can I kiss you?” AH so embarrassing.

Cousin, is this love?

I’ve gotten used to writing you a letter that I just wrote that other one the night after reaching grandma’s house. I contemplated whether or not to send you this letter or not but like, why not? I can’t imagine myself telling you over the phone or when seeing you.

Having the time to think, I feel a little sad because I think I do like him but he’s so far away now. Well, at least we’re still talking over the phone which is fine I guess. No point in moping about what could be…

I’ll be back next week so see you then. Waiting for you to come here is too long so I’m coming back to you. Plus, I don’t think I can survive the summer here without my beloved air-conditioned room.

As for staying at grandma’s, it went fine. She’s feeding me a lot so I’m happy here. Aside from the blazing heat of the sun and no air conditioner, I enjoyed myself here in the countryside.

Will Always be Yours,

Eli

—

17:31

Sun, 7th August

[10 Missed Call - Eli]

[You May Have New Messages]

Eli

Last Seen Today 5.15 PM

: Cousin!

: Cousin!!!

: Pick up the phone!!!!

: Cousin!!!

: Jin came here!!!

: He’s here

: He came to my workplace and told me that he transferred credit to study here.

: Not the same city but at least we’re only a few hours drive away now.

: He’s taking the time before the next semester starts to hang around the city so we can hang out more.

: I’m taking him to dinner later after work! Don’t wait up for me.

: [Sticker; Cartoon cat - Wave]

Fin.

Caption: Just an art to symbolise the vibe of the story rather than becoming canon character image. Art by oofcat ♥

☀️

 

Author's Account:

Heart

Author's Note:

Dear Readers,

I hope you have enjoyed being Eli’s dearest cousin. I made Cousin genderless so everyone can choose to put themselves in Cousin’s shoes. I hope I managed to let you immerse in this story as though you know Eli personally.

As for the story, I have been meaning to write this kind of format ever since I read Maggie Stiefvater’s book which I can't recall and also Daddy Long Legs by Jean Webster. The epiphany hits me in the middle of the night and I just went with it. I’m glad I’m able to share this story with everyone.

Thank you everyone for reading to the end. I hope you enjoyed reading this as I have enjoyed writing this.

Also, thank you to everyone who has supported my journey in trying to complete this short story in time before the anthology submission officially closed. I am truly grateful and love you all. Thank you for being such an amazing community!

BL Palace’s only,

Heart

—

Dear Beloved Silverty,

I dedicate this short story to you, my BL Palace cousin, as you were my epiphany in the middle of the night while contemplating what to write for this Summer anthology.

Thank you for accompanying me write many many shorts in BL Palace’s discord server: https://discord.gg/aTdZQYJ2 (cough)

Trying to end this story was hard despite I had managed to imagine the ending. It felt bittersweet to leave this story because it truly felt like I was writing to you. However, Shiki made me realise that there can always be more to this story if I wish it to be (shout out to Shiki-chan who made me able to finish this short). It also made me realise, just because this one ended, it didn’t mean our relationship or our countless possible AU would end. The possibility of a story of us is endless, we shall continue our journey ahead!

Thank you for being my inspiration for this Summer Anthology and for spoiling me lots. Love you!

Your Darling Spoilt Brat,

Heart.