Victor scrutinised the black ocean within his mind. He made sure his bearings were correct. Terry was certainly in the north unless everyone had switched locations to mess with him. Many thoughts went through Victor's mind, 'HOW THE FUCK-' some were less polite than others, but they all followed a similar theme. He was baffled, confused and downright annoyed.
Nothing was going right lately, and that irked Victor to no end. He lobbed a message towards Terry's node within the network; due to the distance, it took a second to arrive. "Terry."
A second later, the zombie answered. "Y-yes, boss?" He sounded a little on edge as if he was in a less-than-ideal situation.
"How are you so far north? What happened?" Victor asked. He didn't tell Terry, but it took Victor and Henry hours to reach the Delvers in the northeast at full speed, yet Terry was further north. There was no way that merchant had a jet plane in his back pocket, nor did he possess a teleportation artefact, so how had he gotten there? "And where is Alice? Is she with you?"
There was a long silence before Terry answered in a whisper, "No..."
"No, what?"
"Alice is not with me, boss."
"Why not? Where is she?" Victor's voice boomed through the connection causing tidal waves across the black ocean. He tried to remain calm, but he was furious. Alice wasn't overly significant in the grand scheme of things, but Terry had disobeyed his orders, which was a cause for concern. These new henchmen he had acquired were far too sentient for his liking.
"Dragons took her, boss! I fought with all my might but could not hold the mighty beasts back! Then, a big black one called Xamrus kidnapped us from near our home..."
"Dragons?" Victor was dumbfounded. Henry had mentioned that dragons occupied the Grand Dungeon in the north, but why had they fought with Terry and taken him north? "How come you didn't ask me for help?" This question had been bugging Victor during this entire conversation. Victor had explicitly told Terry to tell him if there was an issue.
"You told me to call for help if my life was in danger..." Terry said in a meek voice.
"Yes, I did." Victor thought back to the conversation, and he did indeed say something along those lines. "So? Is your life not in danger?"
"Well, no. I am immortal, so how could it ever be in danger?"
There was a long silence before Victor let out a long pained sigh. He didn't waste any more time and hijacked Terry's view over the network. As a result, his vision distorted and became narrow, and the rest of his senses dulled. But with this, he could see what Terry could see and piece together this bizarre situation.
"Who is that?" Victor saw an ethereal beauty stepping through the air towards Terry. Her hands were behind her back, and a wicked smirk emerged on her perfectly sculptured face. With every step she took, flowers of starlight bloomed under her feet, and her golden horn shimmered in the midday sun. It was breathtaking.
"Oh, this bitch?" Victor saw Terry point toward the dragoness in human form. "Hyveth Acneface? No, wait, was it Arcplace? No, no, that sounds wrong..."
Hyveth's eye twitched as the insolent zombie pointed a rotting finger at her face. "Communicating with your master?" She asked with a light smile that made Terry's hair stand on end.
"Huh? How did you know?" Terry asked dumbly; he looked left and right as if trying to find the culprit that ratted him out.
Hyveth pointed a white snow finger that ended in magenta-coloured nails far too sharp to be considered safe at her eye. 'Actually, is that even an eye?' Victor struggled to see through the hazy view provided through the long-distance connection. Something seemed off about the eyes as if they were slightly too solid and sparkly.
"Your eyes. They betray you." With a flick of her finger, a mirror materialised and showed Terry his face. He chuckled and ran a hand through his brown hair, "Hey, handsome. Looking good."
Victor ignored Terry and looked in the mirror. Terry's usual brown eyes had transformed into two swirling masses of pitch-black nothingness. It was like staring into the abyss; Victor thought he could see his blue eyes in that swirling mass. He blinked, and the eyes blinked. 'Well, that isn't good.'
The mirror shattered, revealing Hyveth's face a mere inch from Terry's. The zombie tried to swing a fist, but he was locked in place as if being in her presence demanded respect. Terry grunted and groaned as he tried to move, but he was unable. Suddenly an idea, so foul yet brilliant, crossed his dumb mind. He grinned, showing his few surviving teeth after years of neglect; he readied his mouth muscles and spat in her face.
As the green gunk slid down Hyveth's cheek, her smirk vanished and was replaced with cold rage. Her hand came up from behind her back, and she clamped down on Terry's head; her nails impaled his skull and dug into his decaying brain, causing him to scream.
"Necromancer, I hope you don't mind if I dispose of such a rude pawn of yours? Do stop by anytime if you have any complaints. We can have a joyous chat over some herbal tea." The invite was hard to take seriously when it was said in a cold and condescending tone. The dragonesses eyes that were indeed gems shone like headlights as she condensed something in her other hand.
Terry was too busy screaming, but Victor saw the spell forming, 'Is that a black hole?' The sunlight seemed to orbit and swirl around an orb of pure darkness. 'Such power. So this is what a dragon is capable of?' Victor now realised the whole meaning of a race worth ten points. If this dragoness could summon black holes, then he should be able to perform a similar feat.
Hyveth sneered as she rammed the tiny black hole into Terry's ugly mug. It all happened in slow motion. Terry's nose was the first to go as it was ripped off by the intense gravity into the swirling darkness, followed closely by his eyes and mouth. Victor suspected that he was the first to see spaghettification from the victim's point of view; slowly, the black hole ripped Terry apart, atom by atom, into a long string. Never to be seen again. Weirdly the connection never cut off. Then, from a disjointed view, Victor saw Hyverth open a wormhole, gather up scattered atoms of Terry and dump them through it.
The connection ceased, and Victor returned to his location in the forest. He floated there for a while as he tried to process what he had just witnessed. "Okay new rule. Never piss off a dragon."
"What is the situation, my lord?" Henry carefully inquired from the side. The apocalypse horseman strained his neck to look up at his overlord, who floated ominously above the treeline. From Henry's little time with his new overlord, he had already found a way to gauge his lord's mood. Right now, Henry knew he was frustrated. The black mist swirled around like a primordial storm, and copious amounts of it evaporated off his overlord's form shrouding the area in a blanket of darkness. But the most significant sign was his overlord's eyes. They blazed with power and fury like miniature blue suns.
"Situation?" Victor brought a long shadowy hand to his chin. 'What is the situation? The dragons have stolen and broken my new toys, but from my brief interaction with them, I have confirmed that I don't want to antagonise them... too much... hmm, what should I do?'
Every second was precious. Victor had already wasted time on the Delvers, and his stats were falling fast. 'Ideally, I would like to rescue Alice as she is my ticket for infiltrating the cities for information on hackers. Hard to read books or ask questions as a six-meter tall void creature. But I also need to fix my falling stats...'
Victor stopped. All the points started connecting in his mind. 'The dragons took Alice, and the dragons inhabit the Grand Dungeon, which is filled with monsters... if I go there, I kill two birds with one stone. I can rescue her and level up! Although that Hyveth dragoness was terrifying, I should be on a similar level in strength to the dragons, and if there's one thing I was designed for, it's sneaking around.'
During his last few months, Victor confirmed that not a single creature in this vast forest could see through his maxed stealth skill, and it was time to put it to the test. Against a fellow apex predator, the dragons.
Having concluded his thoughts, Victor addressed his henchman. "The situation is somewhat complicated, but Terry is dead. First, he was thrown into a black hole, and then his atomic remains were flung into the universe..." After narrating Terry's death, Victor realised how brutal it was, 'Never really spoke to the guy, but what a way to go. Tragic, really. If only he listened to my instructions.' Victor decided to ignore Henry's triumphant smile and continued, "For my next course of action, I will head towards the Grand Dungeon and sneak inside."
"What about me?" Henry asked.
Victor turned his head and looked down on his henchman. Henry nervously trotted back a few paces under his glare.
"You will cause a distraction as I sneak inside, of course..."
***
"Yo mate? You alright? Hey? Hello..."
Terry had a banging headache as he felt something poking him. His eyes slowly opened to reveal a nervous-looking young man. "Hey..." the man whispered, "We aren't supposed to do drugs while on set!"
"Wha-" Terry asked, but his accent was different. It sounded so... wrong. He looked around the weird room. His head was inside some bizarre porcelain bowl filled with water that smelled of urine, and he was surrounded on all sides by tacky blue walls. Terry focused on the man; his attire was weird. He looked scrawny and pale, and his hands waving in front of Terry's face had no callouses or signs of hard labour. Was he some ditzy noble?
"Are you okay? Do you need a doctor?" The man asked. "Your name is Terry, right? The new extra that we hired?"
Terry looked down at himself. He wore the same torn clothes with his rotting insides hanging out. "Extra?" He slurred, unsure of anything.
"Yes. For Zombie world's second season? You are an actor, right? I love the costume, by the way. It's amazing how talented our makeup artists are!"
Terry gave the man a confused look. "I'm an Actor? What do they do?"
The man laughed, "How fucked up are you, dude? Just get on set in fifteen. You just have to stand there and sometimes run at people. I know the pay isn't that great, but come on, bud, maybe if you impress the director, you could make it big someday?"
Terry closed his eyes as the man walked off laughing. Within his mind, a black ocean spread out in all directions. Terry could faintly see the blinding light of his overlord as a mere speck in the distance. He focused on the direction and hurled out his question, "Boss, What the hell is an actor?"
Victor you really forgot his race name huh... It literally said "immortal zombie"
Ah, so this is a multiverse story. Time to colonize America. Round 2
yea this story has a lot of stuff thrown in
Huh? its a multiverse story?
"Spaghettification"?!?!
Oh good even more side stories.
He forgot something about his "leader" party.
There's immortal, and then there's what Terry is. He is the Immutable Zombie.
I would like to say one thing before the rest of my comment. First, this is all just my opinion about the book and is in no way an insult to the author as a person or the other works of the author (which I haven’t read except for the old version of this book). I simply am stating my opinions of this book and may get a little heated in those opinions at points, which may come off as hostility. For that, I apologize in advance.
I would like to point out how, whilst the author probably thinks adding detail to this story makes it more interesting , it is objectively just a watered down version of the previous book, water down solely to make it longer. Sure, there may be more detail, but that detail is boring and mostly pointless. It could have a “purpose” in future plot but that doesn’t change the fact it is pointless as the last book effectively told the same story in a shorter period of time whilst being hundreds of times more entertaining than this version. Honestly, I WANT. To like this book but it is basically a pointlessly drawn out version of the previous book that adds a new thing called hackers for some reason. On that note, hackers are seemingly only called that to make it seem more techy I think (I can’t think of any other reason as to why they would be a different thing than mages except for that or maybe just trying to tie it into the system more or something which, by the way, is also idiotic as the system, if the previous novel is anything to go by, is an ai so advanced that it needs a planet to operate it, which should make it so advanced a human can’t begin to comprehend it, let alone hack it.)? I mean seriously, the hackers are just being glorified as some special people that hack the system when they could’ve easily been mages (which would keep to the fantasy theme more and add to the immersion, both things adding hackers does the opposite of) that are gifted in a way that allows them to use special magic, because that is what they really are and calling them hackers instead does nothing but take away from the theme. Also, the generic undead slavers are awful, especially Terry, Bob and Henry. Not only are the names incredibly basic, the characters are also just walking cliches. Terry is the useless, bumbling idiot that I think you are supposed to find logeable/like-able(?)(which by the way author, if that was the goal you are failing miserably as he is just annoying) Bob is the depressed self loathing and non combat capable henchman(who I think you are supposed to feel bad for, which the author once again fails to do make you do) and then Henry, the cold and loyal henchman that is the most bearable of the bunch (which isn’t saying much to be honest). I could go on and on with my ramblings of how this is objectively just a worse version of the first one but that wouldn’t be constructive in the slightest. The main point I’m trying to make is that I agree with the author that the first book was poorly written, but I mean I think it was poorly worded not that the plot was to shallow. And sure, the original book had a kind of shallow plot, but this one is as deep as the ocean with not enough meaning behind it. Either write a very deep plot with extensive meaning or write a less deep book that has purpose to it and follows a good plot. This book is an insult to how great the original plot was (the original plot had the potential to be AMAZING) and it is sad for me to read it knowing how much better it could’ve been and was. How you manage to become a better writer and the poop out an one je ticket worse version of a book you had already written? I have no idea. I wish you luck and hope that this book finds success and gets better the longer it goes on but for me, I will be dropping
Opinions are fine but sometimes you just have to look at the stats to know you are wrong. Although this book might not be a massive success here on scribblehub but over on RoyalRoad it has over 2500 followers whereas the old version didn’t even surpass 500. It also has over 40 five star reviews whereas the old one has a few one star reviews on the front page. I also loved the old one and it was fast pace because it was a jumble of ideas without a plot to back it up, to the reader it might have seemed fine but i had written myself into a corner and my inexperience meant I had no idea how to continue. You could think of the old was as an outline or speedrun plot that I am now building upon with this version with deeper characters and meaningful threats the so MC has to think about things more. Also I want the kingdom building to be slowed down rather than time skipped.
@XKARNATION first of all, I know it's been a while since you responded to this comment so sorry I'm replying so late. Second, what was I wrong about? I never said I didn't think it would be successful, nor did I say it isn't as successful, I simply said I preferred the first and gave me reasons as to why. So what was I wrong about? I may have gotten a little heated at points but at the end of the day I literally only stated opinions (to be fair I did write things like "objectively is just a watered own version of the previous story" but before all of thatI explained that it was all just my opinion. Anyways, I'm glad your finding more success with this than the first one, I just feel like you traded what made the story unique for higher quality writing and less grammar mistakes.
"You told me to call for help if my life was in danger..." Terry said in a meek voice.
"Yes, I did." Victor thought back to the conversation, and he did indeed say something along those lines. "So? Is your life not in danger?"
"Well, no. I am immortal, so how could it ever be in danger?"
but from my brief interaction with them, I have confirmed that I don't want to antagonise them... too much... hmm, what should I do?'
I mean, the dragon DID invite you over for tea? Take them up on their offer?
"Boss, What the hell is an actor?"
I hope Terry returns somehow...
SIC EM VICTOR!!!!