Iris didn’t move for a while, she just stared at me in wonder, while I drowned within her gaze… I wanted to tell her more, to say my love… But I didn’t. I simply waited for her to move first, I had forgotten how we used to speak before, it felt so hard to say anything right now. How come things changed so much in such small amount of time? Why can’t I say what I came here to say?

While I wondered about it, Iris got out of her stupor and started flying, she moved right next to my face before speaking, “Aria, why are you here?”

“To see you.” I immediately replied, it was easier to talk when I could answer her directly, but my voice barely came out of my throat. It was small and muffled, I wasn’t even sure if Iris heard it.

It seems like it was loud enough for Iris though, because she answered, “And why did you need to come all the way here to see me?” I felt like Iris was in scolding mode right now for some reason, but… Did I do anything worth scolding? I just want to be with you, I’m not wrong here…

“Because you wouldn’t answer my summons…” I meekly replied, I don’t understand why I have to be meek though, why can’t I just hug her and profess my love? Why does our meeting have to be like this? Why won’t I move and take matters on my own hands? Isn’t this why I came here?

Iris then crossed her arms and asked in a harsh tone, “And why do you think I wasn’t answering your summons?”

Because I messed up, because I’m a fool, because I couldn’t recognize you in the dream, because I chose a false reality over living with you… I had so many ways to answer this, yet none of them felt appropriate. It didn’t feel like any of those were what Iris wanted to hear, because… We both knew those things, I told her those so many times while trying to summon her.

In that case, the answer must be… “Because you didn’t want to see me?”

She nodded, and then asked one more time. “If you know it, then why are you here?” Her tone was very stern, she really did not seem to want me near her at all…

However, something flipped inside me… I’m not sure what in her last sentence triggered it, but I got angry… I mean, seriously? I come all the way here and this is how you treat me? After everything we’ve been through? I get it, okay? I’m sorry, I really am, but rather than hearing me out, the first thing you do when we get together is to scold me? Oh, come on… “Because I want to see you! Because I want to see the love of my life that has been ignoring me summon after summon!

“What’s wrong with you!? One day you tell me you can’t love me, the other you say you loved me, and then when I try to clear everything up you straight up ignore me!? And now that I came all the way here, you decide that the best course of action is to give me a scolding!? What’s your problem, Iris?! I love you, okay!? I absolutely, totally, and desperately love you! I can’t live without you and I want to be with you no matter what, so could you please stop making my life so hard!? Just pin me down and make love to me or something! Don’t leave me hanging like that!”

Iris started blushing furiously, I couldn’t help getting happy when I noticed my words could still cause this kind of reaction… It didn’t last long though, because Iris soon recovered and then snapped. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you!? What kind of mad demands are those!? Who in their right mind asks someone to make love when they’re in the middle of a fight!?”

I shouted back, “Who said I am in my right mind, you idiot?! I’m desperate, okay!? What worth is in my life if you’re not in it? I need you…” I started sobbing, “I’m sorry… I really am… I can’t live without you… Please forgive me…” I fell on my knees and tried to hide my face with my hands, I must look so ugly right now, I didn’t want Iris to see me like that…

I felt Iris holding my hands, “Aria… Don’t cry. I’m just… Scared, okay? You say all those things to me, of how much you love me, how much you wish to be with me, of how much I mean to you… But then you seem to switch me for someone else in the very first opportunity you get. How am I supposed to feel about that? How am I supposed to know you’re really telling me the truth?” Her words were pained, I could feel it. Iris was not happy with this either… But what she said hurt me too, did she really have this little trust in me?

“I would never lie to you…” I started, but I realized it was a lie as soon as the words left my mouth, “I only did it when…” Iris stopped me.

“When it was convenient to you.” She complemented… She was not wrong. And because she was not wrong, I could not deny it… I could only cry, to keep sobbing… To apologize.

“I’m sorry…” I told her, “I’m so, so sorry…” I said between my sobs… It was scary, I wanted to say she was wrong, I wanted to tell her to believe me, to say I would not lie to her again, that she could trust me… But even I couldn’t believe those words, so I could only apologize, to apologize and cry… Am I going to lose her like this? Can’t I do anything to convince her otherwise?

Iris grasped my hand tighter, I wonder what expression she had in her face right now… “Are you really?” She asked, I nodded vigorously… And then she sighed. “What am I going to do with you…?”

Iris pulled my hands apart and looked straight at my face… She was crying, tiny droplets of flames slowly fell from her eyes… I felt horrible for being the one to make her cry, and yet… I felt happy to get this reassurance that Iris did not want to be apart either… I can believe that, right? That Iris wants to be with me just like I want to be with her… It’s not too much to ask for, right?

I felt even worse from being happy in this kind of situation… I wonder if it was visible in my expression, what would Iris say if she knew what I was thinking…?

I didn’t have to wonder for too long, as Iris eventually spoke again. “Aria, look.” Her tone was no longer stern, nor angry, neither exasperated, she seemed… Exhausted, maybe? Worried, perhaps? I wasn’t sure. “I understand you care for me, and I do appreciate you came all the way here for me.” Then… “But I’m not what you think I am, alright? You keep putting me in a pedestal, saying you can’t live without me, that your life has no meaning without me… I’m not that great, okay? I can’t live up to this kind of expectations… I’m just me, I’m not the living embodiment of your will to live. I need you to understand that.”

It felt like her words were really serious, like she was putting her heart out to me… Yet, I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. “Hey! What are you laughing about!?” Iris screamed. She was blushing again, it was so cute, and yet so funny.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… This is what you were worried about? I was afraid of losing you forever because of this?” I asked between my laugher, Iris seemed furious, though not in a bad way.

“Well… Yeah!? How was I supposed to react when you held back so long to let me come home time and time again? You were puking blood, Aria! Do you have any idea how worried I felt!? And that happened every week!” Her words stung, I stopped laughing… I already knew I hurt her from acting the way I did, yet… Hearing it now, after all that happened, hit me harder than usual… I’m really sorry, Iris, this time for real.

I held her tiny hand firmly and stared into her eyes before replying. “Iris, I love you.” She blushed a little and looked away embarrassedly. I moved my finger to her face and directed her gaze back to me. “I totally and absolutely love you, I love you above all else, and I can’t find any meaning in my life without you.” Those last words seemed to make her sad, I didn’t want her to feel this way, but I had to say what I honestly felt, I had to make things clear. “However… I know you aren’t perfect.

“I know you are a worrywart, that you can’t deal well with praises, that you hate water far more than what you need to as a Fire Fairy, that you get jealous easily, and that you’re unbelievably stubborn at times.” It looked like she really wanted to rebuke the last one, but I didn’t give her the opportunity, for I continued. “And you know what? None of that matters to me. I love you and want to be with you for the rest of my life… I really mean it when I say I can see no meaning in living on if you’re not next to me, not because of an idealized Iris within a pedestal, but because I love you, the Iris right in front of me, so much that I can’t imagine a life without you.”

She was blushing a lot, but this time she did not look away… She somehow answered while still looking directly in my eyes, “Bu-but you gave up on me for that dream…” Her staggering voice was cute, but the words she said really hurt.

I was not going to lie though, it might seem like I’m blaming her, but she deserves to hear the truth. “That was because I’m an idiot. You asked me to try finding someone else to live with, to find a way of going on without you, so… I figured the only person that could possibly substitute you in my life was… Well, you. So I fell for that crystal’s enticing words and entered a dream to live with a substitute that could fill the hole in my heart that wanted you.”

Iris seemed flustered, “Wait, are you saying… It’s my fault?” She asked.

I had a hard time replying to that, but there was no way around it. “Well… In a way… Yes?”

Once again, she seemed furious… Her angry face was really lovely though, “Aria…”

Oops, I can’t let her start another fight now, “Iris!” I stopped her. “I love you.”

Her anger seemed to fade, she blushed a bit and then replied. “I love you too.” After hearing those words I have always longed for, I kissed her. Feeling her tiny lips answering mine was that best feeling I have ever had… I wished for nothing more than for this to last forever.