Fan Mei had no idea what to say. The things Si Qi had said had sounded a lot more honest than the superficial talk that Si Yi and Tao Jin had exchanged at that dinner the other day. She was inclined to believe it. Even if he left out some things, that was also because he was embarrassed, not because he was trying to really hide. Not even mentioning that, she naturally felt pacified when he said that despite not being able to, he still wanted to make it up to her somehow.
People might think she was crazy but yes, she felt aggrieved. This matter, she had only happened upon it because of her brother’s strange behavior. Then, following all the leads she could grasp onto, she had arrived at this conclusion that there had to be something shady going on between Xiao Ming and Si Jin.
The more she looked, the more it seemed to be true but then, her article was countered and when she was looking for clues at the studio today, everything suddenly took a completely different turn. She couldn’t understand. Surely, she couldn’t have gotten it that wrong?
Seeing that there was finally somebody who had a slightly better attitude toward her and wasn’t brushing her off like her brother or trying to mislead her like that Si Yi, she couldn’t help but voice her doubts. “Actually, Mister Shi, I don’t blame you. You were just following your heart. Me getting into the crossfire wasn’t your fault but that of that crush of yours and his boss. I don’t need you to make it up to me.
“Anyway, there isn’t really anything I need help with. Online, people forget fast. And I have skills. After lying low for a while, I’ll also be able to work as a reporter again. Even if I’m not hired anywhere, I’ll just find a way to work on my own. There’s always a way so I don’t mind it much.
“There is one matter though …” She showed a complicated expression that was only partly an act. After everything Si Qi had just told her, she had also understood how deep his feelings for Si Yi were. Trying to pry into these matters would surely hurt him. In the end though, her suspicion won out. “Do you think that I am completely off-base with my idea or could there really be something about this matter? Everything was refuted so beautifully today, it just makes it seem more suspicious to me.”
There it was.
Hearing her ask, Si Qi’s heart sped up. This was the opportunity he had hoped for. Si Yi had tried to suppress her with force but Fan Mei wasn’t the type to give up because of that. On the contrary. So if they wanted her to let go of this, they needed a softer approach. In the Si clan, even though he was ranked seventh, he could probably be considered a softer person. Why wouldn’t he do this?
He didn’t rush to answer. If he did, that would create the same impression she had had this afternoon. Instead, he took time to think.
Thankfully, just at that moment, the waiter finally brought over the food. Si Qi thanked him and only after the man had left and silence had returned to the table once again, did he speak up to answer. “This question, I’m not surprised you would ask it.”
Fan Mei nodded. Clearly, he had expected something like this from the very beginning. Surely, that was also why he had invited her here. Otherwise, could it really be that he just wanted to tell her all about his unrequited crush? She didn’t think he was that idle.
Si Qi took another moment while picking up his cutlery. “Actually, I think you might be looking at this wrong. You are …” He tilted his head, showing an expression that wasn’t any less complicated than hers just moments before. “We don’t know each other that well so I am not sure I should say this but I think you might be conflating two issues. Or maybe there are even more than just these two.”
Fan Mei raised her brows. “What do you mean?”
By now, the conversation wasn’t as smooth as before where he had talked and talked without hardly taking a break. He really seemed to be weighing his words but it didn’t give her a feeling of him scheming against her. Maybe this man just had a very open appearance but she felt that it was much more likely that he was trying to take her feelings into consideration. He sure seemed emotional enough for that.
Thinking of this point, she cleared her throat. “You know, I am not that delicate. I’d like to consider myself tough so just say directly what you think. I can take it.”
Si Qi sighed at that, faintly lowering his head as if this was really what he had worried about. “Then I won’t hold back. You see, I think deep down, this matter has nothing to do with brother Yi or his boss. You’re not really after that. The one you are after is your brother.”
He faintly raised his brows at her and then started to eat. In-between, he still explained himself though. “You might think I am trying to shift the blame here but that’s not it.
“You see, my job is making up believable people and situations. Those who won’t make a reader doubt a word on the page but still be different enough to stay interesting. I believe the reason I am good at this is that I have always been somebody who observed. I kept away from people but I watched them and listened to what they said. Over time, I believe I have a good grasp on what lies beneath.
“Watching your interaction with your brother, it is clear that the two of you don’t get along. He thinks you are annoying.”
Fan Mei nodded with fervor. “He absolutely does! I don’t understand it either. I never did anything to him!”
Si Qi smiled faintly. She had no idea what she had or hadn’t done. In fact, she had interfered with the business of the Si clan so often and Si Shi Qi had always gotten blamed for it, it was no wonder he hated her guts. But what about it? She didn’t even know the clan existed. She had a hunch at most and that hunch was the reason she did continuously interfere. Wasn’t that also because her brother sucked at hiding things?
“Sometimes, a person’s grievances are not easily seen. I can’t make too much of a guess what the reason is. For that, I don’t know your brother well enough. But as I said, just seeing your interaction today and also the things that went down online before, it is clear that your relationship isn’t very close. There is some animosity from both sides.”
Fan Mei nodded again. “Sure, I won’t deny it. I don’t see the connection with that Si Jin and Si Yi though.”
Si Qi tapped the table with the fingers of his left hand and squinted at her. “I can only make guesses but I’d assume you are trying to actually get some dirt on your brother.” He tilted his head and then clicked his tongue. “Honestly, looking at your behavior, I’m not even sure if you really want to use this against him. Before, your moves weren’t actually all that big and you just hit him at the side while focusing on others.”
Fan Mei pursed her lips and focused on her noodles. “Mister Shi is making it sound as if I went out of my way to deliberately target cases that my brother is somehow involved in. I can assure you, that’s not it.”
“Then what is it?” Actually, he felt that his — or rather the Si clan’s — understanding of Fan Mei wasn’t shallow but nothing could compare to hearing it from her own lips. This opportunity had to be used well!
Fan Mei sighed. “Well, just like you’ve always felt that you don’t belong, I’ve actually felt similar. Don’t get me wrong! I am close to my parents and originally, I was close to my brother as well. It’s just that the older I got, the more I noticed that something wasn’t right.
“I’ve seen our dad take out my brother regularly, not saying where they went or to do what, and I was always left behind. My mother would brush it off when I mentioned it, saying I was imagining things, there was nothing special going on. Then there were also family friends that would come over from time to time but they were never really introduced and they only ever spoke behind closed doors, shutting up as soon as somebody came close. Isn’t that suspicious?”
Si Qi nodded. That was the problem of not integrating the whole family into the clan. In this specific case, it could be said that Fan Mei was too smart for her own good. Because she started to notice, her father tried to hide things even more, in turn making her doubt things further. It was a vicious cycle.
“It does sound suspicious if you say it like this. But I guess it is difficult to go up against your parents, so you chose your brother instead. You are trying to figure out what is going on.” He fell silent and then nodded. “Yes, and while trying to do that, you probably took a liking to that kind of research so you went on to study journalism, wanting to become a reporter.”
Fan Mei smiled and nodded. “Yes, exactly! I want to expose those secrets. The bigger they are, the more I want to expose them. Actually, it’s not that I want to destroy people’s reputations. It’s just that when people do shady things and I put the truth out there, that is the natural consequence. I think they deserve it though. If you don’t want to be dragged through the mud, just lead an honest life!”
Si Qi gave a hum but didn’t nod this time. “I guess sometimes, it’s not that easy. Not everything can be said out loud.”
Fan Mei shook her head at that. “I don’t doubt that. I am also not like those paparazzi who will expose whatever scandal. Believe me, if there is a celebrity that hooks up with somebody else, I couldn’t care less if they’re both single. I take an issue with things when there is a shady side to the secret: If they are cheating on somebody, if there is bribery involved, such things. I want to expose those things. I don’t think it’s bad.”
Si Qi nodded again. “I understand there is a difference. But I still think that this time, you were blinded because of your brother’s involvement.” He sighed. “You asked my opinion on whether Mister Si would really try and have some kind of underhanded deal with Mister Xiao. Well, in that regard, I have to say no. I think you are indeed off-base there, although it might not be by much.”
Fan Mei raised her brows. “Not by much? How so?”
Si Qi smiled. “If he could, he probably would. You see, Mister Si is actually quite similar to me. Just like me, he has been carrying a torch for somebody for years. Unfortunately, that person also wasn’t open to being with him or maybe there was never a good opportunity to bring it up. Now, he finally has the chance to see him face to face and speak to him. You better believe he is ready to do anything to prolong this state for as much as he can. I am sure of that. After all, that is what I’d do for Si Yi.”
