Entry 25 – 48 Days After Being Summoned:  

Same thing. Even if it’s monsters, I don’t like hearing their death sounds. It hurts my heart. And… we’re not scheduled to return to Junsa for another week.   

I wanna ask Ami and Qutie to do the killing.   

But I don’t wanna be a coward. I need to pull my own weight. Melly’s fighting without a problem, but she’s from this world.   

We’re not.   

But it’s not an excuse.   

I just need to grow stronger.    

---

Entry 35 – 58 Days After Being Summoned:  

Today, we had a break. And it was a lazy day.  

We didn’t do much of anything, but Nelly—ah, that’s Ami’s nickname for Lord Enele, made a surprise visit.  

When I think of a Dark Lord, I think of someone covered in blood. Like a real nasty type of guy, you know. Like someone who would kill a whole town while going, “Muhahahaha... You dare underestimate my kind of power, foolish mortal?”  

But nah.  

He’s not like that at all.  

He’s as nice as I imagined a Holy Lord would be. And Meruria’s as awful as my imagination of a Dark Lord. It really feels like their titles should be swapped.  

But Nelly chatted with us all day. And Kaiho! Oh, that little turtle’s just the cutest!!!!!  

I love the way he swims through the air. It makes me wish I was a turtle. Nelly said he’s in Cridia on business, so if it was okay with us, he said he’d like to drop by again sometime.   

I know Nelly can’t summon Soul Warriors because he’s the total definition of justice or something, but...  

If I had one wish, I’d want him to be our summoner. I mean, he’s totally an angel. Even if he’s super tall and muscular, he’s just a big ole sweetie. He even made us dinner. And Greggie and him worked together to enhance a sweet bread Nelly’s mama made him for his birthday a hundred years ago.  

Oh, yeah.  

Nelly’s old. Like super ancient, but he doesn’t look a day over 45. I dunno what I would do if I could live for centuries. Like, how isn’t he bored? I asked him, and he said he had inherited a duty that he couldn’t falter.  

So, yeah. Nelly’s a workaholic, haha. I guess he’s like me. Or all of us. And not just because Meruria’s working us to the bone, but because in our world, we were always improving ourselves. Like, our world was what we had already known, but if this was a different world, were there other worlds?  

Like, if our world was World A, and this was World B, was there a World C-Z? Or were there infinite worlds?  

It was probably the latter. I don’t often think about things like this because it makes my head hurt, but even though I’m an idol, I’m not dumb. I know differential calculus and organic chemistry as much as the next person. That was practically a requirement when I trained to be an idol since you had to be the best of the best of the best to get as popular as me.  

But...  

What if I was born in a different world? One where...things were much better? Our textbooks say the world changed after World War II. Certain people came into power and altered the direction of our history.  

But does that really matter?  

I guess it doesn’t.  

Geez, Elly. You started off so happy, and now look? You’re just depressing your diary.  

Sorry about that, Diary.   

---

Entry 37 – 60 Days After Being Summoned:  

Nelly showed up again. I was having a sad day, but talking to him cheered me up. Before I knew it, I told him about our world. He listened, and he outright confirmed that there were other worlds besides this one and the one I came from.  

So...  

Yeah...  

If things had been different, I could’ve been born somewhere else in a world that wouldn’t make sense if you hadn’t lived it.  

When Qutie and the others got home from shopping, we talked while preparing lunch.  

Qutie wanted to know more about the world, so we learned a lot about the countries. Nelly told us about the different Holy Lords, the Dark Lords, and what it entailed to evolve into one...  

It was everything we should’ve learned from Meruria, but no.  

That awful woman couldn’t spare a second.  

Enele said he was going to leave Kaiho with us for a few days.  

Hehe... I loved that turtle.  

Seriously, he’s like a dog. He likes to have his shell rubbed and his head scratched. And he even eats lettuce and other veggies from your hand! And his tail wags, too!  

And the best part!  

He likes this!  

It’s not degrading or anything!  

Kaiho knows he’s a turtle.  

Ah! Ohmigosh!  

He’s just so cute!!!!  

You know what? I'm going to draw him. 

But he’s even older than Nelly by a few hundred years.  

And I’m not dumb.  

I know why Kaiho’s doing this. It’s the same concept as emotional support animals, although, in this case, Kaiho’s our emotional support spirit turtle. It was probably his idea. But...  

Why?  

Nelly’s not supposed to play favorites. I know he wants to watch over Cridia because Sajun was his student. My singing instructor looked out for me, so I know how it feels.  

But...  

Why did Sajun have to take Meruria as a student? She’s awful now, and she was probably awful back then. I don’t get it. And it feels rude to ask. So... I won’t. It'll prolly dredge up some bad memories, and I don’t wanna be the one responsible for that. And I won’t ask Kaiho, either.  

That’ll prolly be a mystery. I dunno if we’ll get an answer to it.  

---

Entry 38– 61 Days After Being Summoned:  

Qutie asked Kaiho if he knew anything about the Dark Lord of Tyranny. We first heard that title from Melly shortly after we met.  

And Kaiho knew of her, but…  

She was an awful woman. He said she had brought the world to ruin and nearly killed every Holy and Dark Lord. Like… She was a world-ender. She enslaved everyone and forced them to die for her. And she disrupted the world. Something like 30% of the population died during her reign. Entire countries were wiped out. And she burned everything, just to cause more tyranny.    

She sounds super scary. Kaiho even said it was impossible to kill her. He didn’t know why, but the people in charge of leading the fight against her said killing her would be worse than letting her go.   

But they didn’t let her go. Kaiho said they found a way to imprison the Dark Lord of Tyranny and separate her from her Divine Armament. Its location was said to be a heavily guarded secret. He didn't even know where it was at, and the list of people who did have its location was shrinking with every year. And it wasn't like it was a long list to begin with, either. 

If this world was like a video game, the Dark Lord of Tyranny would be the super boss. Someone you couldn’t even beat after maxing everything out. The more Kaiho spoke about her black ice and nightmarish fire, the more I found myself scared.   

She’s gone.   

She won’t ever come back.  Kaiho assured me of that because her Divine Armament was sealed away. Even if she broke free from her dungeon, she’d be detected and imprisoned within the week because precautions are in place. 

But…  

I dunno… I’m still scared. I think I’ll sleep with Ami tonight. I can always use my cousin as a fluffy pillow.   

Wait for me, Ami! I’m coming your way!  

---

Entry 53 – 76 Days After Being Summoned  

Today was another sad day. I don’t wanna talk about it...  

But why do people...do evil things?  

Why do criminals think it’s okay to kidnap little girls and hold them for ransom?  

We were walking to a town east of Cridia when we came across a kidnapping. I...killed that man. He died from my singing. His head popped like a watermelon that was dropped from a building. And...the blood splashed over that little girl and terrorized her... She screamed and smacked me when I tried to comfort her...  

I hated death.  

I hated hurting people. But it sucks more when your singing is the cause of it.  

I’ll never get over it.  

Even if our enemy is a monster. A tiger, a lion... Even a zombie!  

I hated it.  

In the Apival Duchy, I had sung a song of healing, and it turned into one of terror. Undead monsters don’t really like healing magic.  

I did it to save us.  

But it hurt.  

And now I don’t feel like doing anything.  

I know I wrote about my feelings before. Probably half the entries in this diary feature that. But my diary can’t get angry at me for annoying it.   

But I’m sorry, Diary. I’ll try to find some happy memories to fill you with soon.    

Keeth’s here with me, though. He’s letting me lean against his back. We’re in his tent. Ami and the others are doing recon, and we’re left alone here.   

I think I like him.  

A lot.  

He’s truly someone who gets me. And we’ve been talking a lot.  

He’s someone I know I can rely on. And I know I can rely on the other members of Team Quella. I can always call a Rule 1. Or do Rule 2.  

But Keeth…  

He makes my heart warm—just like the way Ami says she feels a lot of thumping in her chest when she’s working out with Greggie.  

And he’s made a lot of progress.  

He looks handsome. He already was in his own fluffy way, but...  

Seeing him makes me happy too.  

He's really working hard to better himself.  

I wanna do the same. There’s happiness here. I know there is. So…I wanna find some.    

I feel sleepy...  

I’ll go ahead and end it here...  

Elly Edit!  

Okay, after waking up from a small nap, my day became better. Keeth… He let me sleep with my head in his lap while he worked on something called Project Elly.   

And what was that project?  

It’s my very own idol uniform!  

He made it with his hands. All for me!  

It’s so cute!!!!! And so pretty!!!!! There are little sapphires embedded into the fabric. They sparkle so beautifully!!!!  

He made me a super cute skirt! And a pair of fabulous heels from a bundle of dragon hide we had found in a dungeon. He used some to reinforce our weaponry, but he used the rest for me.    

And Keeth…  

Aw, he’s just the sweetest.  

We’ve grown closer. A lot closer.    

And this just pushed us over the line. Love was hard for me to understand. I was forbidden from having crushes by my company. I grabbed Keeth’s hand and held his palm against my cheeks. He smiled… I smiled… And I believed I fell in love…  

How could I not? When I look back, he’s always been there. And Qutie and the others were there too, but Keeth?  

Whenever I didn’t wanna bring up Rule 1, he was always gently knocking at my door. He was shy, though. I always had to talk for him to get the courage, but we ended up spending a lot of time just talking. About a lot of things, and about nothing.  And then there were the times I held his hand and rubbed healing cream in them when he was too tired to do it himself after working all day for ungrateful nobles.    

After sharing a moment… I stood and undressed in front of him because I wanted him to see me, then slipped on the uniform…  

And I sang my heart out. The song I used was about him and my feelings. And he clapped… And he smiled… And he cried… And he even made two sticks out of glowing materials and waved them around.   

And after I had finished…  

I gave him my first kiss…  

I’d been kissed before by people I don’t wanna bring up or talk about, but it was just for me to rise through the warring world of idols to stand at the top.    

Keeth’s the first man who I wanted to take my lips…  

We didn’t do much after. But he let me lay in his lap until I fell asleep…  

---

Entry 60 – 83 Days After Being Summoned  

Today was another...  

Ugh.  

Today sucked.  

The days have been sucking a lot.  

And it sucks.  

A lot.  

Remy’s annoying.  

Meruria’s annoying.  

Every time we go to the church for one of our summoner’s missions, we gotta walk by Damon’s room. And someone’s always moaning.   

He thinks with his dick.    

We haven’t even seen Lori and Ann. I know Qutie’s been wanting to talk to them. They weren’t there when Shuuta died. She’s been curious to see how they would have reacted. I dunno why, though.  

Tokko and Mia? We haven’t seen them in months. We don’t bring them up, but I’ve heard the nobles I entertain talk about their policies. They both like and dislike the direction of the country. The former is because things have become more efficient. And the latter because they were afraid of being useless and abandoned.    

They don’t think I hear them, but I do.   

And they’re all a bunch of backstabbing meanies.    

And Will’s all but disappeared.  

And we don’t talk that much to Shiku. But he’s one of the only nice ones here. That Salim guy seems nice, too. And Renata and Benedict, and the two doggy girl maids that always follow Shiku around.  

I haven’t heard much of the guy that Meruria summoned to replace Shuuta, but I’d hear rumors from the nobles I’m forced to entertain. They think I wasn’t listening, and I was. And that Carter guy’s a total perv. Okay, so he can make drones with his mana, but he seriously uses it to spy on people. He reminds me of the paparazzi.   

I seriously hated those losers with a passion, but like a lotta people… Carter’s just a sleaze-ball. I told Quite about it, and she said she’ll start using her mana eye thingie skill and walk around the house. To make sure that he’s not doing that crap here.    

We hardly ever see anyone from our world. It’s like Meruria’s keeping us apart on purpose, but...that’s probably part of our punishment.  

Qutie’s been different, too.  

It’s like a weird depressing aura...like a rain cloud… It hangs over her. And I don’t like it. But she says she’s not sad. Okay, no. That was wrong. She says she’s sad. That’s something she admits. But being sad, in her eyes, isn’t the same as failing. But she never calls for a Rule 1. And she hasn’t been doing much of Rule 2, either.   

But if Qutie says she’s fine, then she’s fine.   

Keeth and I have been sleeping together, but we don’t have sex. We’re afraid too. Who knows what Meruria would do if she found out. If I dare to ask her or Remy for any condoms or anything, she might forbid me from seeing Keeth. I wouldn’t put it past that bitch to forever punish us in different ways.   

I thought I could power through this… But…  

I’m not as strong as I think I am.   

I wanna cry.   

Yeah… I’ll cry… Keeth, I’m coming to your room…  

---

  

Entry 80 – 103 Days After Being Summoned.   

I’m losing my damn mind.   

I wanna cry.   

I wanna throw things.   

I wanna destroy…  

I’ve…never felt this so pissed off and upset!!!!!  

Ugh…  

It’s been nothing but concerts. And then it’s been nothing but parties. Meruria ordered all of Team Quella to attend because she wanted us to mingle with the nobles. It’s been three parties a day for twenty days! And it’s been all over Cridia, not just Junsa. I’ve always been able to sing for long hours, but even I need to rest my throat.    

Good little Soul Warriors…  

Every time she sees us, she says that.   

You’re selfless heroic otherworlders who yearn to put Cridia above their own wants and desires.  

She says that, too.   

I can’t complain because she says good little Soul Warriors—selfless heroic otherworlders don’t complain about working for the summoner.   

When we got home a few minutes ago, I screamed. I lost it. And Remy…  

She just laughed and said it was just singing. It was just laughing.   

Then she left.   

We all called a Rule 1 to vent about Remy. We… We hated her. So much. We despised that woman. No, she wasn’t even a woman. She was just a force of evil. And she always played jokes and said cruel things at our expense.   

She even admitted to spying on us in the bath and said some really hurtful things about our bodies!  

But Keeth’s not small! He’s perfectly fine! The big ones hurt a lot!    

---

  

Entry 100 – 123 Days After Being Summoned  

Things had gotten better.   

Not a lot.   

But better.   

We got a break. Not a long one, but enough to calm down.   

Keeth and I laid in bed. We didn’t do anything but hold hands.   

Ugh…  

Meruria has a statue in every room.   

It was hella lame. It wouldn’t surprise me if she had placed a camera or something in there, even if the tech didn’t exist. Or if it did, we didn’t know.   

But Keeth…   

He let me lay my head on his chest. After hearing his heartbeat, I hummed a little song while he petted my hair.   

I seriously loved him.   

And…  

Maybe…  

Maybe we’d get married.   

Or maybe not. Meruria was the one who would decide that.   

This is a dark thought. It’s one I don’t even wanna think about.   

But…  

What if all this abuse and awful treatment was a way for us to regret standing up for Shuuta?  

It makes me a horrible person.   

But if Meruria wants us to actually say we regret it, maybe she’d treat us better?  

But I wanna stay true to myself.   

He didn’t deserve to die.   

I know that the day I start to think that is when…  

No…  

I don’t wanna say anymore.    

I’m sure no one else in Team Quella is thinking like that. We can’t think like that. It’s just not right.  

But I’m tired… I think I’ll head to sleep. Keeth’s already snoring.   

---

Entry 122 – 145 Days After Being Summoned  

We have another mission.    

There’s a desert in the south that’s been experiencing crazy sandstorms, and Meruria wants us to solve it.    

It seems easy enough.   

I wonder why she’s doing this?  

I’m not gonna lie. Things have been looking up.  

Yeah, I’m still singing and dancing for the nobles, but it’s been better lately.   

A while ago, a noble named Ravenshaw was throwing his son’s birthday party.  

And I immediately groaned. But I didn’t say it out loud. But whenever I need to sing for a kid, I’m always scared they’re going to be like the one that died way back when.  

But I’m happy to say it was different.   

This one was fun.   

Ravenshaw was a Ravenfolk. And his son was seriously super cute. He couldn’t fly very well, but he was such a cutie!  

He was absolutely smitten with Melly, though. She was the life of the party. Ravenshaw said his son liked sparkly things, and he’d once seen us walk through town from his balcony. He said he had the cutest tantrum. And he said he thanked Meruria for this chance to make his son’s small dream come true.  

But I made it even better.   

Keeth hadn’t only made me an idol uniform, but he had made everyone one. And Melly and I put on one hell of a show. She flew above me, and her sparkly wings doused the room in crystal fragments. Keeth passed out the glow sticks he made to reflect the light. And Qutie used illusion magic to spice it up.   

It was a lot of fun. And that child… Oh, I just wanted to squeeze his little bitty cutie cheeks!!!  

He tried to fly and join Melly, but he couldn’t. He cheered his little heart out when Melly swept him up and allowed him to join in on the fun.  

Ravenshaw…  

He was a good bird. Or Ravenfolk, I mean. One of the better nobles I’d met.   

If we’re lucky, Remy won’t be with us on this mission. I hope she isn’t.   

But I dunno if I’ll have time to write my diary again.   

It’s hard to believe it’s almost been 5 months. Sometimes, it feels like it hasn’t been that long. When I close my eyes, I can sometimes see the Baeblades dancing on TV. And other times, it feels like I’m watching paint dry.   

The days are kinda getting longer and slower at the same time. And I don’t like it.   

But…  

I dunno…  

If I have Team Quella and Keeth, I know I’ll be strong.  

They love me. I love them.   

We love each other. We’re each other’s strength and rock. Without Rule 1 and Rule 2, we wouldn’t have made it this far.   

And before I go, Diary, I wanna say…  

I haven’t thought of Shuuta as a regret since the last time I wrote about him. That was 22 days ago or something. I’m too lazy to turn the page to check, haha...  

But I’m slowly adapting.   

When we return from the mission, I wanna go to the bar again. I wanna see the owner and sing on the stage. And I hope the guitar guy’s back. Keeth said he’d make him a brand-new one, but the guitar guy refused because it belonged to his grandfather.    

You know…  

I really don’t like a lot of people. But it’s the common people… They’re the ones I like the most. Like us, they’re just trying to get through life.   

We’re all in this together.    

You’ve helped me a lot, Diary. Like a whole lot. It’s crazy that you’ve helped me this much. Qutie was on to something when she brought up the idea. I’ll have to thank her.