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Chapter 11

The Ice Wall Between Us

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Goldie opened her eyes in the bed next to Maddy, her teacher. She closed her eyes and recalled when she first flew on the staff. It was exciting and terrifying all at the same time. When she looked over, the sleeping face of this beautiful woman looked peaceful as she slept. Madalyn had her arms wrapped around the princess... something they'd do off and on since that fateful day.

At first, this hug felt warm and blissful; in a way, it still did too. But certainly, this warmth was growing mundane for Goldie. It felt cold and distant, like when one gets used to a routine that once was so special and full of excitement. 

Goldie... wanted something more, and it started with the pounding in her chest every time she'd open her eyes to her teacher.

 

 

“How long ago was that day?”

Goldie asked in a whisper. She took the metronome from the nightstand and listened to it. The beat tapped, reminding her of the time that’s passed.

“It was about two years and a few ago since then. That day… Maddy saved me.”

Tenderly, she looked at the witch, silently sleeping. Goldie and Maddy have been training and working together for the two years and a few months. The novice witch was growing into her own, and simple spells were second nature to her. Even flying wasn't new like it was that first time.

But one thing that never changed… was the feelings she got while watching her teacher sleep. The golden girl's chest felt tighter the more time they spent together.

“Nnngg…”

Goldie heard Maddy struggle in her sleep. Gently, she held her hand like she’d done time and time again.

“Still… calling out to mom.”

Despite the time that vanished from reality within this space, Annastella, her mother, still had a hold of the deep subconscious of her teacher.

“Maddy… it’s okay.”

Goldie whispered into her ear, trying her best to calm the rage within her teacher.

“…”

Maddy stopped struggling and relaxed. The tension of her grasp lessened as the witch calmed down and fell into a deeper, sounder slumber.

“Yeah… I…”

Goldie muttered under her breath. In her mind, she felt an intense feeling well within her. Goldie didn't want to admit what was rummaging through her mind. But the princess knew that she had to accept her sins to grow emotionally. Just as she did with pride and other sins still deep within her.

“I…”

As Goldie matured, she was shaping into her own woman. Goldie was slowly becoming someone who would look in the mirror and know when she was wrong.

"I am beginning to envy you, mom."

 

 

She admitted in a whisper to her late mother. Goldie had spent two years and three months here so far with Maddy. Although most of it was learning how to fight, Goldie felt Maddy's emotional ice wall was frozen solid. Despite how much the princess tried, she couldn’t break through her walled-off feelings. Yet her mother, who left her friend in this isolated world, must have known all kinds of sides to Maddy.

"Can I… use that envy to be stronger, though?"

In whispers, Goldie asked herself.

“Why… would you envy your mother?”

To the golden girl’s surprise, Maddy opened her eyes. Unsure of what to say, Goldie looked out the window, away from the witch that caused her heart to pound.

"Oh, I-I didn't know you were awake, Maddy."

In a panic, Goldie observed.

“Maddy… you love calling me that, don’t you?”

The witch sighed.

“How long… has it been since you start calling me that, Goldie?”

Goldie put her knees to her chin in a pout and puffed her cheek.

“Whatever.”

The princess pouted.

“Two years… and three months ago. It was the day you flew for the first time.”

Goldie wasn't expecting Maddy to recall any of that. That day was monumental to the novice witch because it reminded her of the outside world's dangers. But Goldie believed that it was just another day of training for the teacher.

“You… remember that day, Maddy?”

Weakly, Maddy nodded.

"Yes, of course, I do Goldie. It was... a special day for me."

That word, special, sank into the heart of the golden girl. She watched in awe as the witch rolled over and looked at the ceiling.

"Goldie… this has been the longest I've spent with another person. Don't you think that every minute we spend here together is important to me?"

Her words were warm, and they seared the heart of her student. Embarrassed, Goldie put her head to her knees and sighed deeply.

“Important? What… what do you mean, Madalyn?”

The princess was fishing for a certain answer. Her heart knew this but was still too jumpy, too weak to confess it. Emotionlessly, the witch stared at the walls above. She looked exhausted, likely because she was still battling the demon within her.

"I've watched you grow up, and it's a wonder to see Goldie. It's like when a person plants a small fern, and grows into a wonderful tree. You are like a tree, and I cherish seeing you grow with every second we spend together."

However, this didn't satisfy the feelings wrapped into the student's mind. If anything, that made Goldie's feelings more complicated. If this were anyone else, it would be sweet, and the Goldie of the past would have taken it as a great ego boost. But Maddy's metaphor only strengthened the argument in the golden girl's mind that she was nothing more to Maddy than a precious growing student.

“My mom… knew a side to you that I’ll never know, Maddy.”

Coldly, Goldie confessed the feelings hidden deep within her.

“And my mom, Annastella, left you alone. She didn’t tell me about you… she hid you from me. Yet you still... only think fondly of her...”

The bitterness caused her words to sound like venom, but that wasn't the truth. Goldie was disappointed, hurt even by what transpired as she frolicked around the castle without care. Yet as she learned the truth and swore to save Maddy those two years ago... nothing had truly changed. Goldie felt her mother would always shield her from entering Madalyn's closed-off heart.

 

 

"It's not fair… that mom still holds your heart. That's why I envy her. Because no matter what, she'll always have a hold on you… despite not coming to save you."

It was a childish way of saying something simple… Goldie was jealous of her mother's ability to break through Madalyn and understand her on a level that the golden girl may never have. The witch looked at the child, face red with embarrassment.

“You… wish to know me better than your mother?”

Maddy asked.

"No… it's just…."

Her chest tightened as she looked away from those crisp blue eyes that always drew her in.

"I… I guess I just…."

Not sure how to process what was going through her mind, she calmed down with a deep breath, looked at the lying witch, and admitted it.

"I wish it was me who met you when you were a Kingsman, Maddy. I… wouldn't have let you sacrifice yourself."

Goldie's chest pounded harshly as she continued.

“You and mom had these chokers made to write letters to one another. You both had such a connection… and I don’t know why… I feel so jealous about it.”

Ashamed, Goldie covered her face with her hand.

"It's stupid… but it makes me upset, and I don't know how to feel."

“Goldie…”

The corner of the witch's lips raised slightly. She was doing it more and more as time went on, yet it was still rare for the golden girl.

“Goldie… what a sweet girl you are. To confess your feelings is the first towards taking that desire and turning it into something positive.”

Madalyn reached out and touched Goldie's thigh. The soft warmth of her hand caused her student to be captivated by her. It was hard but Madalyn sat up, pushed herself against her pouty student, and leaned on her shoulder.

“Do you wish to talk more?”

Goldie’s eyes went wide at her teacher’s question.

“I… I guess. I just… I want…”

“Calm down… and tell me what you want, Goldendale. I'm not a mind reader. You have to tell me what you wish of me.”

 

 

Her heart pounded at an insane rate. The woman that she'd wanted to become like was offering her something she'd longed for. A chance… to understand her deeply.

“I want to know you… more than my mom did. I-is that bad to say?”

Goldie got to her knees and looked at Madalyn with excitement.

"I like you a lot, Maddy. But… I'll never get to know you as my mom did. I feel… like I'm just here to learn from you… but not learn about you. I want to know more about you, Madalyn!"

Those aches and pains welled up in Goldie as she began crawling closer to her mentor. Her body fell into Madalyn's breast, and for a brief moment, Goldie felt as though the ice wall between them was melting. The golden girl could feel the pounding of Madalyn's heart.

And the two of them were in sync... both of their hearts were rapidly beating.

"Come here, my golden girl."

Maddy reached out her arms toward her student. Unsure what to do, Goldie fell into her arms as they sat together in each other's arms.

"If I knew you felt that way sooner, I'd have told you all I could, Goldie. It's been too long since I had to... develop a personal connection."

Maddy rubbed Goldie's soft hair with her fingers. Tenderly, she did her best to soothe the heart of the envious child. Madalyn couldn't fathom the idea that this golden girl would get all upset over something like that. Especially about her, some recluse that was thrown away in the Grimoire.

"The truth is… I don't recall much of anything about the old me."

Maddy said in a somber tone. The teacher's voice cracked as she admitted this to Goldie.

“I feel as though I was born in this void. Everything I wrote down… I likely fabricated over time by faded memories.”

Goldie rubbed her head into Maddy’s chest.

“I… don’t mind. I… want to know more about you, Maddy. Anything is fine... tell me something.”

Maddy sighed.

“Fine, but only if you tell me stories about you, my little golden girl. That way, I can learn about you too, Goldie.”

Madalyn wagered.

“Deal! Deal!”

Excitedly, Goldie shook her head.

"My memories are vague… Goldie, I don't know who I was before the who I am today."

Maddy explained.

"But I can say, ever since you've come, my life feels like it's starting again."

Suddenly, Maddy kissed her student on the forehead. Never had the golden girl been kissed before, aside from her mom and dad. The lips of her teacher were warm and wet, soothing to the touch. Her body heated up and a sense of protection came over her.

“Thank you… for your feelings.”

“Hehe…”

Embarrassed, all Goldie could do was giggle. It was like Maddy took a key and opened up the emotions in her chest. Those tangled feelings were trapped at the door, roaring to get out. But Maddy's words could release what was happening inside her.

“I’m so happy.”

As they held one another, Goldie gazed into her teachers’ eyes.

"I like making clothing. The maids taught me how to sew. When we get back… I want to make you the best wardrobe!"

Her passion soared from her as the doors to her feelings were unlocked.

"Is that right? I would have never guessed that you knew how to sew."

Madalyn said, surprised.

"Really! Maddy, I want to show you so much. Like… I want to show you all the amazing books I have in my collection. I have so many. I'd love to read them all with you."

The witch closed her eyes and thought about the last time she read a book outside her writings. The concept seemed foreign to her, like that wasn't possible.

"Stories… I bet they are wonderful."

"They are! They are full of wonderful adventures! I want to experience them with you because you mean so much to me, Maddy."

Goldie smiled brightly.

“I… would love to read those stories with you, Goldie.”

For a while longer, they spoke about hobbies and other personal topics. Madalyn would talk about her love for writing and how it kept her from going insane. The princess admired each word she said as it etched into her tender heart.

 

 

They spoke for so long that they lost track of time in that timeless world.

Eventually, the two girls fell back asleep in each other's arms. As they rested, the stoic Madalyn…

Slept with a smile on her face for the first time.

Her arms wrapped around the girl who made her world spin again.