“Don’t make any noise.”

As we climb the dark stairs, I warn Berta to stay quiet. But instead of following my orders, she makes a cheeky smile and replies.

“Saying ‘don’t make any noise’ is making noise, ahahaha!”

“Shut up! We couldn’t shake the boss off because of your constant blabbering. The last thing I want is for it to chase us up the stairs!”

“Fine…” She spins her eyes around before returning to her cheeky smile. “But I’m sure your lack of orientation played the biggest role...”

“My lack of orientation? Wasn’t it you who said we came from the right and it turned out the boss was waiting for us on the left one!? Also, I said shut up!”

“No, you shut up!”

This annoying flying pest… if it weren’t for Matta’s corpse, which hinders my movement, she would be tasting my fury right now!

I turn my head and look at the bottom of the stairs.

I can’t see any monster, much less the boss. I exhale, relieved. We managed to get away. Now we just need to reach the top and leave this place.

We continue climbing until the end of the stairs. What awaits us at the top is a crumbling door blocked by wooden planks. It makes sense this whole area is sealed off, to prevent the monsters inside from invading the rest of the dungeon, doubly so for the boss.

But then, why was there no blockade on the other door we used?

Maybe there’s no need? When we went back there while running away from the boss monster, we couldn’t find any lever to open it. It also looked like a normal wall, impossible to detect unless you knew the door was there.

Maybe this is why? It can’t be seen nor opened from inside, so there’s no need to block it? It makes… sense?

“Alright, leave this to me,” I say. “I’ll open the path.”

I drop Matta to the ground and start kicking the boards blocking the way with all my strength. They were nailed from the other side. It’ll be harder to break them from here, but it isn’t impossible.

“Ahahaha! Good work, Carles! Have you finally learned how to properly treat a lady? It’s unusual for you to take the hard work upon yourself.”

Lady? What lady? What’s she talking about?

“It’s evident I’m the one who must do this. Otherwise, what could you do with your meager, baby-like strength? Complain all day about how hard they are to break? Well, maybe they will crumble on their own out of boredom?”

“I’m not a baby!” She shouts and jumps at me, grabbing my horns.

“S-stop it! Not my horns…!”

I try to get her off me, but she doesn’t let go. In the end, I end up tripping and we both fall on the barricade, smashing through after being weakened by my kicks, and falling on the other side.

“Oww…” I stand up. “When will you stop doing this?”

“When you stop calling me a child. Hmph!” She pouts and turns her head away.

I bring Matta’s corpse into this new room and look around. We’re in some kind of storage area. There are racks with boxes and laboratory equipment filling my entire view. There’s no musty smell here, but I can hear the distant sound of running water.

If I’m right, this should be the room connecting to the two laboratories. The one behind the door that wouldn’t open regardless of what we did, and forced us to enter that bloody, icy hell filled with corpses.

“Aaah… it feels great in here…!” I exhale. There’s no signal of danger and the air isn’t stale.

“This room is huuuuuge! It looks like a labyrinth from above!” While I wasn’t looking, Berta flew over the racks and is now looking around with an excited face. “There’s something flying in the distance!”

What is she doing? What if that’s a dangerous monster and it comes our way because of her recklessness?

“Berta! Come here first. You have to resurrect Matta.”

“Ah, right! I forgot! Ahahaha!” She quickly comes and starts channeling the skill. It’ll take a while to finish. “So pathetic, to die twice in a row when he usually doesn’t die a single time… Have you two switched roles? It’s usually you the one who dies.”

“And who’s fault it is? Almost every time I die is while trying to protect you after you do something stupid!”

“I’m not stupid!”

While arguing, we forget about her Resurrection skill. We only remember when we hear Matta’s voice.

“You know… I wouldn’t mind staying dead for a while longer and watching you two flirt. Hihihi!”

““We aren’t flirting!””

After denying his words, we both shut up.

Matta stands up, his flabby belly jiggling around as he does so. “But man, that was surprising… to think I’d die because my SOU reached zero… It’s almost as if we were inside an Abyss dungeon.”

“Abyss monsters, you say?” I frown. “But I didn’t see any.”

“Yes, this is the weirdest part, hihihi! I didn’t see anything and suddenly died. Was it an area effect? Or an invisible monster?”

“Invisible monster…”

It isn’t impossible, but it’s hard to imagine. Except for a few innately invisible monsters and those that can use optical camouflage – most of them are weak – it’s hard to hide a monster for long. This is because the skills that hide your body cost a lot to keep activated.

“Ahahaha! Matta, you’re like Carles, going out of MP all the time! But this time, you actually went and died! Ahahaha!” Berta starts rolling in the air. It’s like rolling on the floor, but while flying. “So pathetic! This is why you shouldn’t use such a weak champion, a single misstep can cause you to die.”

“Yes, I agree.” I nod.

“Oh, come on! It’s precisely because of this that it’s so funny to play with a goblin!”

It doesn’t matter how many times we talk about this, he’s a lost cause. We both know it’s a waste of time and effort, so she quickly returns to making fun of him instead.

“But still, ahahaha! So weak! Look at this, thanks to my enormous MP pool, I’m always ready fo–” Berta opens her status screen and starts screaming. “Aaaaaaah! Where did all my MP go to!? My precious MP! With only this much left, I can only use Magic Missiles, one, two… three times. Only three times!? Aaaaaaahh! My precious MP! My precious Magic Missiles!”

“It isn’t the end of the world, Berta,” I say to calm her down. “It’s something that happens naturally…”

“I’m not like you! I always keep track of how much I use so I never run out! It’s a shame for a spellcaster to run out of MP! Aaaah, how could this happen to me…?”

As she drops to the floor and continues to despair, Matta and I exchange a look and shrug our shoulders.

“Two out of three.” He says. “Are you the only one that wasn’t affected?”

“No, well… I’m used to being out of MP, so…” I tend to abuse my Dragon’s Breath a lot, so I always run out of MP. It isn’t critical for me because most of my skills need EP anyway. “It’s just that today was worse than usual.”

“Ah, yeah. Indeed, you always run out… hihihi!”

While chuckling to himself Matta takes his map out. Oh, that map! I’ve missed it so much while chased by the boss monster! I’ll make sure to bring a copy with me in our next Dungeon Invasion.

“So… I’m sure we’re right here,” he says while pointing at the exit of the sealed area. “This place is like a labyrinth, it’s easy to get lost. But with the map, it will be easy.”

“I like having a map so much…”

“Hihihi! I saw you struggling because you lacked one while I was dead.”

“You can’t imagine…” I would have gladly given Berta away for a chance to get a map of my own when we were chased by that monster. “So… what’s our plan? Straight to the end?”

“This is the last room, so why not? There’s nothing more to see.”

We ignore Berta, who’s currently clawing at her face in despair because she has almost no MP remaining, and decide our course of action between ourselves.

“Alright!” Matta folds the map. “Let’s go, to adventure!”

“To adventure! I just hope it isn’t as exciting as the last area.”

“Hihihi!”

“My MP… My precious MP…!”

Like this, we set out to explore the last room in this dangerous, treacherous dungeon filled with unexpected dangers.

 

---

 

*Bzzzzt!* Lightning hits me from my right.

“Another trap!”

I turn to that direction. Hidden behind two boxes, a lightning rod pops out its head. It releases sparks before releasing another burst in my direction.

“How many does this make? So annoying…” I unsheathe the katana and slash at it until it breaks. At least they aren’t that strong.

Now that the problem is solved, Berta approaches me while laughing.

“Ahahaha! You always fall for them! Can’t you learn from Matta and avoid their attacks?”

“Do you want to go in front?” I snap back. “I don’t mind if you take the lead, you know?”

She flinches and turns around.

“...nah, I’m fine in the back…”

She can be so annoying!

“I wouldn’t mind going first, you know?” Matta says. “It’s usually my job, after all.”

“Nonononono! We can’t risk you dying again.” I quickly refuse. “We can’t risk losing our map, and Berta doesn’t have enough MP to resurrect you again. Keep acting as the guide and stay, perfectly protected, in the middle.”

“Ok. Hihihi, it’s as if I were a VIP.”

You are a VIP indeed. You are our Very Important maP.

I haven’t finished my third step when I hear the sound of broken glass and a foul substance falls on top of me.

“Acid, again!? Why are there so many traps here!?”

Matta ponders before answering. “To put us on edge, maybe?”

“If so, they’re doing a great job.”

It’s been about five minutes since we started exploring the last room but we’ve already encountered more traps than in the rest of the dungeon. They’re more annoying than dangerous, but my HP has been decreasing slowly but steadily.

The biggest problem is they’re almost impossible to spot, there’s so much clutter everywhere! How am I supposed to differentiate a normal glass container from one that will explode when I get close when there are a hundred of them!?

“The key is to feel the danger with your sixth sense.” Comments Matta from behind. Does he know what I’m thinking about? “When you feel the danger, it means there’s a monster or trap nearby.”

How am I supposed to do that!? I don’t have your sixth sense!

“...”

Knowing this conversation won’t lead anywhere, I stay silent and focus on the front.

After turning left, we find a water canal in front of us. Thanks to our flying ability, we don’t have to wait for the bridge to pop out before we cross, but we still have to be careful. The area doesn’t have anywhere to hide, and there’s a flying monster somewhere. It can spot us easily while we’re crossing to the other side.

“I don’t see the monster,” I announce after popping my head out of the hiding place. “We should have enough time to cross to the other side.”

“Then let’s go before it comes.”

I grab Matta and we start crossing the water canal. But when we’re right in the middle, flying over the water, Matta suddenly shouts.

“Watch out!”

Startled, I look right and left, but there’s nothing.

“From the top!”

“Wha–”

Something hits me hard and sends me flying. I lose track of everything around me and involuntarily release Matta.

“Uaaah!” He shouts as he falls. He makes a loud splash when he falls into the water because of his fat body. “Shit! Goblins don’t know how to swim!”

It isn’t time to fool around! Also, assuming it was the truth, you would stay afloat anyway with such a large floater in your belly! 

The biggest problem, though, is that the strong current quickly drags him away. We might never see him again in this Dungeon Invasion.

“Goodbye, my friend…!”

I turn to look at the perpetrator of such a disgrace. It’s a child-like minotaur with a crown on its head. It looks strong, but at the same time doesn’t. The monster doesn’t give me time to think as it quickly rushes at me one more time.

We engage in melee combat. I’m strong, but the monster is stronger than I am.

“If only I were in a decent condition…” If I have to die, let’s make one last joke. “I think this is my end. Berta, let’s meet on the other side. Live strong and grow into a beautiful lady, ok?”

“Don’t worry, Carles!snip I’ll assist you!”

Still clutching the soon-to-be useless cards, Berta launches her precious Magic Missiles to assist me, but before they can reach the monster, a game message pops in front of me.

 

 

“This is it, huh…? I took too much damage from the traps...”

I watch in my phantasmal form the fight between Berta and the flying minotaur. But since she’s out of MP, the monster quickly overpowers her and she soon joins me.

 

We meet again with Matta not long after, when the three of us have died. Matta is the one to break the silence.

“I’m sure there’s a lot of things we’ve missed, so… When do you want to come back?”

Berta and I make the same incredulous expression upon hearing his words. Is he crazy? We just came back from all that stuff, and he wants to go back already!?

“What are you scared of? It’ll be fun, hihihihi!”

At this point, I’m not so sure of what I’m scared about. It might as well be you.

 

“It’s always a pleasure to die in a fight against a strong foe.”

- Famous last words from a certain DMA player.