Yo!
So this story is one of 2 stories meant to be kind of side by side with each other that I started coming up with a long time ago. To be fair, I actually started thinking of the other one first, but I wanted there to be a bit more world and that one just didn't have as much opportunities for that. So I set that one aside and started putting my focus more on this one. Once I get into a good rhythm with this one and all that, then I'll try and to start putting the other one out as well.
I'm sure some people noticed that the pacing so far was kind of weird and that descriptions were random or randomly placed. Sorry about that. To be honest, my original intent was for everything up to now to actually be more of a prologue but then typing happened and it kind of got away from me. The last chapter was more of how I wanted everything to feel, even if it did feel a little rushed, but I also wanted to get some setting in place and all that. We can just say that these chapters all felt a little off because Marik is still a child and children aren't necessarily known for their attention to detail. From now on I hope my bad habits won't be as obvious and some day I might just go back and fix these early chapters up a bit.
In other words, from here one is where the real stuff begins. Also, world building/explanation fun.
For those who were kind of liking any characters besides Marik so far, sorry. I have a few plans to bring Sara back, but everyone else was kind of throwaway. Then again, who knows. I sometimes suddenly come up with things and decide to make the story go off in a slightly different direction than originally planned.
As far as the update schedule goes, I can only say this:
"Schedule? What's that? Is it tasty?"
Otherwise, I'm fine with mild criticism and critiques. I'm writing for me and because I want to, but I want anyone who reads this to enjoy themselves as well. As long as you're not trying to be a troll and engage in outright bashing, I'm all for telling me what you think.
See you guys soon,
Brite
But what will happen to the village? So we're going to wait 100 chapters for some kind of explanation? or what?
Sorry for the harsh criticism, but understand I'm only criticizing because I believe it has a lot of potential. Please don't feel bad about it.
If you don't intend to explore the other characters and the village, maybe you should rework this first part. I've found it unsatisfactory and forced. All adults behave stupidly and the other childs/cubs sound like caricatural villains. It's hard to believe people acting that way. The Omega sending him away when the Alpha went there to fix the misunderstandings was the worst part. You said they have a different culture and maybe that would make it all make sense somehow, but, in that case, you should've shown us that culture and how it works. On a final note, the use of Alpha, Beta, Omega, etc to describe wolves and wolf-like creatures social structure is generally accepted to be wrong by the scientific community and is annoying and overused in fiction.
Even if I didn't like this first part, I have to say you are a talented writer. You managed to engage me and made me care about the characters. This seems to be a fine story and I intend to give it another try, just not right now.
Thanks for sharing this story!
No worries. This is the kind of thing I actually like to have people tell me. I greatly appreciate it.
ok, everything I said in the previous chapter is explained.
it doesn't solve anything and the doubts remain the same... I hope it gets better from now on