Kyu Hyun looked at the front door and didn’t know what to say or do.

His hand had reached the door handle, but to push the door open?

He didn’t have the courage.

He had been standing there for almost ten minutes now and Chang Min, who was waiting inside for him with a cup of coffee, was confused.

He walked up to the door and looked through the peephole, only to see something odd. He opened the door and looked at Kyu Hyun. Cupping his face he asked, worried, “Kyu Hyun, what happened? Why are you crying?”

The tears dripped from his eyes onto Chang Min’s hands. “Chang Min, what am I supposed to do? It’s hard living with you. I want things to work between us, but you are just keep pushing me away.”

Chang Min felt conflicted. It’s true, he has been pushing him away, but not on purpose; he didn’t know what to do either.

“I don’t know if I should be happy or sad, but it’s just bad news after another when I thought things would be good if I left Ji Soo, but it isn’t. You don’t even want me near you,” he said.

“Come, come in first,” Chang Min said, grabbing his hands and pulling him in. 

Kyu Hyun didn’t even reach the couch. He dropped to his knees, holding Chang Min’s waist. “Chang Min, please give me an answer. Can we work things out? I can’t sleep or eat without thinking about this. My mind is a mess and work, everything is going downhill for me. I know you love me, so please, please just give me a chance. I will force myself to love you if it is taking longer than it should and I will love our child, I swear. Please give me a chance to make things right between us, please.”

Chang Min had tears in his eyes as he listened to him beg. Kyu Hyun was a mess. Who knew the cold shoulder could turn such a proud man into a baby?

Chang Min pulled his head to his stomach and hugged it. He rubbed his hand in his hair and leaned down. He kissed his head and said, “Okay, just stop crying.”

Kyu Hyun shook his head. He kissed Chang Min’s stomach and continued crying as he said, “Chang Min, I can’t do this. I can’t pretend everything is okay between us.”

Chang Min sighed and wiped his own tears away. He got onto his knees and cupped his face. Looking into his eyes, he said, “Come now. I’ll try to work on myself, so just get up, okay?”

Kyu Hyun’s eyes were burning. In all honesty, he had been crying for longer than today. He wasted away in his office and woke up in the middle of the night and cried alone in the dark while Chang Min was sleeping soundly.

Kyu Hyun refused, shaking his head.

Chang Min sighed saying, “Fine alright, we’ll sleep here tonight,” and lied down with Kyu Hyun on him.

Kyu Hyun’s crying went on for an hour, maybe longer, Chang Min couldn’t tell.

“My heart is broken,” Kyu Hyun said. “The internet can’t help me. My father doesn’t know how to help me nor do I know where to go to seek help.”

Chang Min sighed and looked up at him. Holding his face, he asked, “Do you want to go bath? I’ll wash with you?”

“Should I go seek medical help?” Kyu Hyun asked.

Chang Min shovelled out from under him and said, “I don’t think it is that bad. I already told you I am going to try to work on this, too. Also, if you lie on me any longer, you might kill your baby.”

Kyu Hyun immediately jumped up when he heard the mention of his child. His hands flew to his stomach and asked, “The baby? Is she alright?”

“She? It’s too soon to tell,” Chang Min said, getting up. At least now that they were speaking, Kyu Hyun seemed to be fine.

Kyu Hyun nodded her head. “I dreamt she was a girl.”

“What if it’s a boy?” Chang Min asked as he walked off to the kitchen.

Kyu Hyun walked up to him and saw that he was getting food ready and said, “Mn, I’m fine with both, but I still believe that it’s a girl.”

Chang Min smiled and looked at him. “Why don’t you go shower while I deal with this quickly?”

Kyu Hyun pouted, but nodded his head. He left after receiving an assuring smile from Chang Min.

Chang Min sighed when he was alone and let his tears fall. He didn’t mean to do all of this to Kyu Hyun, but how could he be sure that he was sincere?

Things have been boring for him since he returned from the hospital and it wasn’t getting any better when Kyu Hyun arrived home. If only he didn’t listen to Yun Ho and his big mouth, maybe things wouldn’t be like this.

He had so much hope for them; he wanted to be with Kyu Hyun finally, but now?

He let the words of another ruin everything for him.

*

Chang Min sat down beside Kyu Hyun and rubbed his head. Kyu Hyun smiled and laid his head down on his lap. He looked at the t.v and asked, “When are we watching one of those gay dramas again?”

Chang Min thought about it as he watched a woman and man stare at each other for a long time. It was boring and even Kyu Hyun wasn’t interested in it.

“There are too many to even start with,” he said as he listed a few in his head.

Kyu Hyun took his hand and brought it to the front. He kissed it and asked, “What about your favourite?”

“There are quite a few. I’ll have to look for them first, but we can start tomorrow,” he suggested.

Kyu Hyun nodded his head as he stared at the screen. The next scene switched to a family eating dinner, and it made him think about Chang Min’s family.

They haven’t seen him in so many years. He wondered if it would be okay to go visit them now.

He needed to thank Mr Lee for giving Chang Min to him and they needed to tell them the good news about the baby.

Sitting up, he looked at him and asked, “Do you want to go eat out tomorrow after work?”

Chang Min looked at him and nodded his head. He wouldn’t be able to go out once his stomach was huge, so he nodded his head.

Kyu Hyun smiled. “Good, and about work. My father doesn’t want you stressing the baby out, so you won’t be asked to go back there.”

“But I want to work,” he said.

“If it’s the money you want, there’s nothing to worry about,” Kyu Hyun said.

Chang Min shook his head. He pouted, saying, “I’m tired of just sitting at home.”

Kyu Hyun smiled. He leaned over and kissed him on the lips. “Don’t pout.”