I spent the next five or ten minutes puzzling over all the things that had happened so far today. That was a crazy thought, that it still hadn’t even been a full day since all of this started.
We arrived at a gas station that wasn’t very far away from where we started. It was still kind of in the middle of nowhere, but it sat on a state road that clearly was only a few miles away from where a town probably was.
Liz pulled us up to a pump and turned the car off. She started unbuckling herself, and opened the car door. “I’ll be right back,” she said simply.
“Okay,” was all that I replied with.
Liz got out of the car and started walking to the gas station. I decidedly did not look at her butt at all as she walked away. Nor did I feel the discomfort in my chest that for some reason, which wasn’t real, made me sad that she wasn’t next to me in the car anymore.
I huffed indignantly at the betrayal that I had just experienced from my own body. Dumb thing, making a big deal about Liz getting out of the car to get gas. It was not a big deal, and in fact didn’t bother me at all. After all, I had no reason to be concerned with what she was doing. She was only going to be away for five minutes or so.
The mental debate raging between a side that was frustrated and a side that didn’t exist distracted me long enough that Liz had already gotten back and was finished filling up the car. The door opening got my attention back on reality, and for some reason I grinned when Liz sat back down in her seat, my previous annoyance forgotten.
Liz’s scent, which was still present in part after she left, came back strongly with her return. My chest ached pleasantly in a way that I couldn’t properly place as I breathed in deeply.
Some sections of my thoughts reminded me that this whole scent thing was still kind of weird. It was something I had never heard of before. People I know have talked about liking the way somebody smelled, but I was almost certain it wasn’t like this.
I would probably be more worried if not for the calming effect that came along with the thing that worried me. Actually… that could be really dangerous. Something like this used maliciously would be really hard to combat. You would have to fight against your own senses in order to overcome the influence. That wasn’t something that Liz would do though, right?
“-am? Are you okay?” A voice crept into my consciousness.
I stopped spacing out and turned my head towards Liz, who had a worried look on her face, and lightly shook my head to reorient myself. “Sorry, what were you saying? I was a bit off in my own world there for a moment.”
Liz’s eyebrows scrunched up slightly. “Is there something wrong?”
Pulling my arms closer to myself, I shook my head. “No, it’s fine. Just trying to think about things.”
Hearing my pitiful excuse at lying, Liz only seemed to look more concerned. “If it’s anything having to do with… what happened to you… it would probably be best to let me know what it is. My parents made it clear that I was responsible for your safety, so if there’s anything that’s… different from before it might be important.”
She took a deep breath and looked away for a moment before meeting my eyes again, then continued, “Of course, I won’t make you say anything you don’t want to.” She broke eye contact and looked off elsewhere. “I don’t want you to get hurt by or scared of something you don’t understand. If there’s anything that you want to ask me or tell me, please do so.”
Liz’s hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly and her voice had come out pinched, as if she was forcing herself to say something that was difficult for her. It almost caused me physical pain seeing her so tense and… scared? I couldn’t quite tell what she was feeling exactly, but it hurt seeing whatever it was.
I nodded in response to her statement. “Okay, I will.” I blushed and looked at my lap. “But, we should probably get back on the road first. It’ll already be nearly sunset by the time we get there.”
Delaying the inevitable for a few moments longer was a certain specialty of mine, but I also had a good reason to suggest that we talk while driving. And… talking about the supernatural at a gas station also just seemed wrong in some way.
Liz nodded back, and reached for the ignition to start the car. “Is there anything you need before we go? Anything to eat or drink that we can grab here?”
Taking stock of myself for a moment, I shook my head again. “No, I’m fine. We can get some dinner when we get into town.”
“Alright,” was all Liz said in response before she turned the key and the car rumbled to life. She pulled us out of the gas station and back onto the state road heading south that would get us to the westbound interstate after about twenty minutes or so.
As we got up to speed and Liz turned on the cruise control, I realized that I couldn’t distract myself much longer with errant thoughts. I had already mulled over everything that I could reasonably do for the moment. The best thing for me to do would be to start asking questions to get some more pieces that can fill in the puzzle I had to put together.
I steeled myself and gripped one of my hands with the other for reassurance. “Liz…?”
The target of my question responded without taking her eyes off the road. “Yes Sam?” Her voice was still a little closed off, which almost made me give up asking anything. It sounded like she was uncomfortable, maybe because she felt obligated to answer me due to our circumstances.
My thoughts were all over the place though, so I thought better of it and realized I might just be making things up based on assumptions. “There is something that I wanted to ask about…”
A momentary pause while I figured out what part to ask about led to a pretty obvious one to start with, since I had been thinking about it a lot since we got in the car together. I continued, “Something that has been confusing me a lot recently. Ever since I first encountered you last night… The um, scent that you have. Why is it so… unique?”
Finally I managed to ask what had been on my mind a lot, after struggling to find the words. That particular scent that Liz had was, somehow, the part that stood out most to me among all the other supernatural shenanigans that have surrounded me since last night. I wanted to know why she smelled like that, and why it made me feel the way it did.
Liz’s grip on the steering wheel tightened a lot and her cheeks also took on a deep tone of red. I didn’t quite know what that combination of things meant, but didn’t get enough time to think about it further before she spoke.
After a few shaky breaths she said, “So it’s true…”
I tilted my head to the side a bit. “What’s true?” I reflexively asked.
She kept her eyes on the road, her breathing ragged. “That- I-” She couldn’t quite get her words to come together, but I figured it might be best to just wait for her to take her time to answer. She clearly was greatly concerned about something, which also made me steadily more worried. Still, I waited patiently while she took the time she needed.
It took a couple minutes, but she seemed to steady her breathing mostly and took a few deep breaths to further compose herself. She started speaking again with a slight quiver in her forcibly calm voice, “There are a lot of studies in modern science that show that animals use pheromones to attract a mate.”
My bewilderment at the way she started was evident on my face, but I didn’t interrupt her as she continued, “Weres have a similar mechanism. There are key differences that make it very different though. The main one being magic.”
At this point, talk of magic should have been par for the course. Yet, the part of me that still basked in the wonderment asked for confirmation. “Magic?”
Liz nodded, eyes still on the road. “Yes, magic. Specifically magic that occupies the body of every Were after they awaken.” She shook her head and sighed dejectedly. “I don’t really understand all of it. Mom and Dad only told me about it today. Something about how your entire body is infused with magic, and even your glands that control the way a person smells.”
She seemed conflicted about something before adding, “That means that a Were’s scent gains magical properties. Most of the time, that just means that they stand out to other supernaturals because of the magic that is laced within the traces that they leave behind. But…“ She took another deep breath. “Some Weres have a unique interaction with the scents that another Were emits. This is where I start to not really understand a bunch of it. Supposedly, the distinctive pattern of magical scent of one Were can resonate with the senses of another. For some reason, this never goes only one way according to my parents. It is a reaction that can only be mutual.”
I pondered her words, realizing that she had pretty much confirmed my suspicion that she also was affected by whatever this magic scent stuff was. Still, I thought it best to make sure by asking about it more directly even though the thought of asking caused a small well of anxiety to fill my chest. “So, you also smell that… whatever that is coming from me?”
Looking ever more uncomfortable while watching for a car that had pulled out onto the road a bit ahead of us, causing her to slow down while she waited for the other car to get up to speed, she nodded. “I do. I’m sorry.”
“Why would you be sorry?” I blurted out before I really took any time to think.
Liz hesitated, not saying anything for a few moments, then answered, “Because it must be uncomfortable for you. I’m a complete stranger that destroyed your life, and now you have to deal with some deranged magical pheromone that is trying to influence you when I’m around.” She sighed heavily. “And you’ve been put in a position where your safety depends on my presence.”
Pondering her words put a few pieces of my mental puzzles together. That scent that has been around me since last night has definitely made me feel things that I usually wouldn’t. Like some weird longing and a sense of comfort. It was hard to put into words what exactly it felt like, but the combination was certainly potent. If I were honest with myself, if it wasn’t for that effect it had on me I might have freaked out a lot more than I did with everything today. That kind of mental influence was… sketchy at best on paper.
True, the result was probably good. I stayed level-headed enough to confront a lot of the difficult conversations that otherwise would have been much more difficult. Heck, I might not even have been able to have a proper talk if Liz’s scent wasn’t present. On the clothes that Liz gave me this morning until I changed, in the room when I talked with both Damian and Delilah, in the car now as I tried to deal with all the things that happened since last night. It was almost always there with me, except for a brief few minutes in Delilah’s closet after I changed out of Liz’s clothes.
Honestly, that kind of influence over someone was scary. Forcing a sense of calm, and creating a desire to continue to be in the presence of someone was incredibly easy to abuse. I don’t even want to think about what someone with bad intentions could manage with that kind of sway over a person’s psyche.
Was I okay with Liz having that kind of power over me? If I were to be asked, I would at best say that I didn’t know. But I kind of did know. I knew that Liz’s presence felt more natural to me than breathing. Something fundamental to my being told me that it just felt… right. Like it belongs. Like Liz belongs.
Liz had started this topic by emphasizing that certain animals use something similar to attract a mate. That would explain why being near her felt like it did. Especially this morning, where I could still recall the peace that filled my heart. The primal joy when she pulled me closer. The expectant burning that wanted her to keep her arms wrapped around me and make me hers.
None of those things felt bad, and at no point did I feel like Liz was taking advantage of me. The wolf that took her over was certainly over that line, but I had decided already that I can’t blame her for that. She clearly felt remorse for what happened, even if it wasn’t she herself that had done it.
All in all, just like everything else about this new supernatural world I’ve found myself in, it’s scary on principle. In actuality though, above anything I have felt in my life before, being around Liz felt good. Better than I could have imagined. I was terrified at the prospect of the fact that I basically had a supernatural crush on someone I just met, yet my heart and soul yearned to press on at whatever pace would be applicable in the hopes that she might feel the same way about me.
Liz was clearly trying to deal with the guilt she saddled herself with from the wolf’s actions, so I should avoid that topic for now. Maybe later? We would be living together for a little bit after all. And who knows how long I’ll be reliant on her family for? I apparently couldn’t die of old age, so I could stand to be patient.
Having taken my fair share of time to think, I finally added my thoughts to Liz’s statement in a quiet yet firm tone. “You didn’t destroy my life Liz.” She glanced at me with concern, then quickly looked back to the road.
“My friends are a bit upset with me. And I’ll have to dedicate more of my time to learning how to live my life when magic is apparently real and I have it.” I shrugged. “But not much else has changed for the worse. My body has magically changed in a way that makes me happy and comfortable in ways that I never thought I could achieve. That’s what I’ve chosen to focus on, instead of the potential downsides that haven’t even come to pass yet and the events that led to this.”
Flicking her eyes over to me for an instant Liz mumbled, “But you could be saying that because of the influence you’re under.”
A quick thought about that made me giggle, which only served to make Liz look somehow more worried. “I kind of am though?”
Liz squinted, but kept her eyes on the road ahead of us. “What do you mean?”
I shrugged back to her. “I mean pretty much what I said. Technically, I am under the influence of that effect. So are you though.” I leaned forward a bit so I could see her face better. “Any concern you might have about me applies to you as well in this case.”
Seemingly not able to wrangle her thoughts yet, her face scrunched up, Liz didn’t say anything. I took the chance to continue with more, “Clearly, you are able to feel upset by the whole scent thing. If it’s a mutual condition, then I could feel upset about it too if I wanted. I don’t want to though. I want to accept it.”
“What do you mean? Accept what?” Liz said, irritation and worry dripping from her voice.
It didn’t feel like I was the target of the irritation, which helped me not worry as much as I replied with, “Accept the fact that magical stuff is weird. Before last night, I thought the only magic that existed was in fiction. I have read a lot of that. In a lot of the fiction I read, people hold themselves back by not accepting the things that are right in front of them. If my gut feeling says that I should do something, then it’s probably on the right track. I can’t hope to understand magic right now, but innate abilities and feelings are a good way to start I think. Especially since Delilah told me that a lot of a Were’s abilities are instinctual.”
Liz kept looking straight on wordlessly for a few minutes after that. It lasted long enough that I started getting a little worried that I had said something really wrong, and I leaned my full weight into the backrest of the car seat. It even lasted long enough that we made it to our ramp to the interstate, which the GPS informed us of with a cheerful little beep.
A few minutes after we had settled into the flow of afternoon traffic, Liz finally spoke up. “I’m sorry.”
I tilted my head to the side. “What are you apologizing for?”
Liz’s face twitched with worry. “Everything…”
I let my gaze fall down to my lap, feeling sad that she was placing so much fault on herself for things that she had so little control over. “I don’t blame you Liz. You don’t need to keep apologizing. You’re taking responsibility for my safety and for teaching me. That’s more than enough.”
With a pained voice Liz shakily said, “But if I hadn’t lost control, you wouldn’t have gotten caught up in any of this. If I was stronger, better prepared… If-”
I was starting to get aggravated, so I cut Liz off abruptly. “Hey.” I only spoke at a fairly normal volume, but Liz stopped her self-demeaning rambling and listened to me. “Ifs and buts don’t get anybody anywhere. There’s no point wondering what may have happened if something was different. It happened. From my perspective, you’re doing the right thing. Like I said, you are holding yourself accountable for my safety. You clearly have been beating yourself up. If that’s because you feel bad for me or something? That won’t get either of us anywhere.”
Liz silently stared at the road with a thoughtful expression. When she next spoke, she almost sounded angry. “How are you taking this so well? Until yesterday, you were a normal girl.” Her voice started to build, getting more intense with every word. ”After my incredible fuck up, you were assaulted and permanently changed against your will! Your life is forever fucked because of me! Why don’t you hate me?!” I could see tears pooled at the corners of her eyes as she breathed heavily with an obviously forced steadiness.
I really hadn’t expected her to blow up like this. Under normal circumstances, I would have already clammed up and shut down when someone was yelling like Liz was. Perhaps the magical scent thing is helping me, but that isn’t really important right now.
Liz clearly had a lot built up since this all started. She’s been constantly on edge since I first saw her this morning. As far as I could tell, she really was taking this worse than I was. For all the bad that has happened to me, Liz has surely been affected by this too.
Suddenly losing control of your own body and committing heinous acts against an unsuspecting bystander, then upending your life to take responsibility for the actions that your body took while you were not in control of it? I don’t even know what kind of life Liz led before last night. She has a family, her mom and dad. They had to leave to get assistance for this whole thing, so she is suddenly without that family and is instead shipped off with some unknown person that she now feels responsible for.
The rest of her personal life? I have no clue. She could have a career or an education, friends or loved ones, that she is abandoning to accompany me back to my home and protect me from dangerous supernatural forces.
Damn, this entire situation is pretty messed up isn’t it? My attempt to be optimistic and look on the bright side directly conflicts with Liz’s view that I should be completely devastated and scared for my life or something. I don’t think that my way of going about this is wrong of me, and in fact it is probably for the better to take things in stride when I don’t fully understand them until I can grasp it. It might not be the best way, but it sure beats being huddled up and scared for the rest of my life at what might be out there.
Still, Liz is taking this whole thing upon herself. It can only be a bad thing for her to take the brunt of things like she is. I’m sure that there are plenty of things for her to come to terms with in her own life. She doesn’t need to also contend with thoughts that I’m some scared damsel, powerless to confront the fact that there are things in this world that I never could have known.
My thoughts started winding down, which made me aware of the frightening clarity and speed in which I had just gone through that whole mental tangent. Not just in the normal fashion, but the ‘I could see the white lines on the road creep by at a leisurely pace’ kind of way. We were going seventy miles an hour.
That realization knocked me back to a closer semblance of normalcy, and the world resumed its more typical rate of flow around me. It must have only been a few seconds that I had been thinking, but regardless of how fast the time had gone by I knew what I wanted to say to Liz.
“You’re wrong Liz.” My voice, level as can be, made Liz’s eyes open a little wider and her breath to hitch. “I wasn’t a ‘normal girl’ yesterday. I was a normal trans girl. Complete with dysphoria, feeling like my whole life was wrong no matter how hard I worked to make little changes for the better, and the constant doubt that made me question things that only existed in my own mind.”
I huffed grumpily. “And then I happen upon an actual freaking werewolf in my friend’s barn who magically transforms my body into a form that makes me feel so much better. Was that scary? Yes! It was the most fear I have ever felt in my life! But it turns out that werewolf was a girl that was terrified of what she had done. Terrified that you’d done something tragic that irreversibly shattered my life.”
Liz opened her mouth to say something, but I held up my hand to cut her off. I had something to say, and I was going to say it whether she likes it or not.
“I understand that my life won’t be the same anymore. I’m not disillusioned that I’m in some fairy tale where nobody gets hurt and there aren’t things that lurk in the shadows. I’ve read enough stories and seen enough movies to know that what you and your parents are afraid could hurt me are very real. I have no idea what they are, and for now I don’t care. I can’t do anything about them, not until I actually know what I’m doing. Being frightened won’t help me learn, and it sure as hell won’t do any good for me taking advantage of the miracle transition I’ve been given.” I paused to take a breath.
“So,” I continued, “I’m going to try and appreciate what I have. Magical scents, unknown peril, and everything else that I haven’t dealt with yet can take a backseat.” I narrowed my eyes, though Liz couldn't see me do so with her eyes on the road still. “And I definitely don’t want you treating me differently because you feel guilty about something you think you’ve done to me. If I have a problem with something you’ve done, I’ll say something. Okay?”
By that point I was a little out of breath. I definitely wasn’t used to talking with this much intensity. I was still a little shocked that I even spoke at all after she started yelling, let alone going off into some impassioned speech. Did that magical scent really have that much effect on me?
Liz hadn’t responded, and I could see a streak left by a tear on her cheek. I reached down next to my feet and grabbed my purse, unzipping it to grab the one thing that I actually had in it. A few brief motions later and I had a tissue held out to Liz. I had kind of wanted to dab the tears away for her, but messing with her face while she was driving was not the brightest thing to do in my opinion. Also that was a little too intimate for someone that I’ve had only one real conversation with. Well, more like an argument at this point.
The distressed Were glanced down at what was in my hand, and thought for a moment before accepting the offered tissue. She took a moment to dry her eyes and blow her nose, then discarded the tissue into the side pocket of the door on her side.
Taking a series of deep breaths, Liz seemed to be calming down. Eventually, she sighed. “I’m going to need some time.” She sounded a little better, which was a good sign I think.
I nodded somberly. “That’s fine, take all the time you need. Promise me that you’ll ask me how I feel about things before you assume something about me though.” Bold words of me, since I had made a number of assumptions about Liz by this point as well that I should probably get sorted out myself.
Liz took another deep breath. “I promise.”
That was good enough for me, so I nodded again with a bit more energy. “Good. If there is anything that you want to talk about or need to tell me, don’t hesitate to say it. Alright?”
The corner of Liz’s lip twitched upwards briefly in a way that made me think she might have been happy about something in a downcast kinda way. “Yeah, that sounds fine to me.” Her voice even seemed a little brighter, if not by much.
Satisfied that we had made some progress, I settled back into my seat. I had finally talked with Liz, and the first real conversation turned into an argument. The argument seemed like it was fairly constructive though, so I was hopeful that we could move on and not have to step on eggshells around each other.
Deciding that a distraction might be nice right now, I pulled out my phone and opened the group chat to let everyone know that we made it to the interstate and were heading west. I also lowered the visor to help with the glare of the afternoon sun, which was sinking lower and lower into the horizon we were driving towards.
A few seconds later, Alex responded that he hoped everything was okay and that he was glad we were making good progress. It wasn’t long til the others had their say as well. I spent the next few minutes talking with them about what they were up to at the farm. Everyone except Lexi. She was suspiciously silent, definitely unlike her usual outgoing self. All she had to say was that she was glad that I was okay.
Lying to my friends still felt really bad, but I didn’t really have much choice but to keep up the lie. It was the only way to keep them out of whatever supernatural mess that I had become a part of.
Catching me up on their goings on didn’t take long. Once they had done that, they told me that they were about to go riding for the rest of the afternoon, but to make sure that I still message them when I got home. I said goodbye to them for now and promised that I would message them again once I had gotten home.
I was a bit sad that I didn’t get to go riding with them, among a lot of other things I could have done to spend time with them this weekend. I was also really looking forward to being able to spend time with horses. Animals were just really awesome.
Well, now I need a distraction from my distraction. Might as well dig into the novel I had been working on. That would be as good a way as any to pass the time on a long car ride.
The story was a really cute TGTF girls love novel I had found published online while browsing one day. The escapism of the book was a really nice trip, but now felt a lot different after having been subject to my own magical transition. Not in a bad way, in a weird ‘I never thought I’d find myself here’ kind of way.
Contemplating the new perspective I had gained, I picked up where I left off and let myself sink into the world that the author had given me a glimpse of, happiness nipping at the back of my mind at the realization that one of my dreams had come true.
Wooo conversation! About stuff! And things! And emotional development heck yeah!
It wasn't the most fluffy, sure, but I reckon it's a pretty solid foundation to start with "I don't blame you, I don't hate you, let's talk these out before getting all wrapped up in anxiety". Sam's got that level-headedness going that is always useful for these chats, even if its from magic-pheremone-induced calm.
Can't wait for more next week!
It’s progress darn it! I’m happy for them
It’s not what I pictured when I set out to write that chapter, but it’s clearly what they needed because oh goodness did they get going.
I don’t blame you, I don’t hate you, let’s talk this out
That does a really good job summing up that interaction! I like it!
Another product of watching the characters get to express their own dynamics is that I did sure as heck not expect Sam to be as calm and level-headed about any of this as she has been, magic alterations or otherwise. A welcome surprise, really. 
Thank you for reading once again, and I’ll see you next week!
I’m glad they’ve finally begun to address it. It’s the only way to move forward.
Me too! It’s been ages already, and I really want to get to the more fluffy parts! There is SO MUCH FLUFF to be had!
Hmm, I hope Lexi isn't keeping quiet because Olive isn't doing well. I wonder if she may have gone in and found Sam's shredded clothes.
🤔 perhaps. One would hope that Damian had the sense to clean up a little on his way out.
here is hoping that one of sam's friends is not a were hunter or something similar...
Oh gosh I sure hope not, that would be stressful
Fresh delivery!
🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪
TFTC!
Oh, I'm happy I found this in the upload feed! earlier today!
I can understand why Liz is beating herself up so much, but also Sam's side. Nicely done!
I don't know what you have planned for her co-workers and friends, but I would give them the disclaimer that if they really want to know what happened, things will permanently change for them and life will probably get more dangerous. If anyone of them wants to live in blissful ignorance, they should leave the room while the others chose to accept the danger themselves. It would fix the morality issue Sam has rather beautifully, not that I expect any of them leaving from what we know right now.
I'm looking forward to Sam waking up being spooned by Liz, even though she went to sleep in the guest room/on the couch. It would definitely be fluffy that way. Maybe a half-asleep Liz confessing like Sam already did to herself? I mean, they are what I would call fated lovers (you even used that tag already) Thats also probably why "Beast Liz" did what she did, she also smelt that scent. Maybe her going wild had to do something with that? It's kinda nice that Sam keeps this topic to herself right now to not upset/destabilize Liz any more than she already is.
Since it's my first comment here, I really enjoy writing such comments on series I actively read and enjoy, any any ideas I might have can be used if you like to do so.
Thank you very much for your thoughts!
The folks that Sam works with are certainly going to need some clarification in some form. From what Sam has guessed, she can maybe mislead them a bit with her plans for makeup and such but that won't make the suspicions and less suspicious. Someone undergoing such a wild change after an incident like disappearing in the middle of the night is at the very least note worthy. Whether they actually learn the truth or not, that's for future. No spoilers from me!
Oh my gosh yes! I desire the fluff! The lead up is super important to me, so I don't want to rush that though. Fluff is so much better when it comes after bonding moments and shared experiences. I have... maybe too much fluff planned for the future. It is currently my main driving force. I imagine the scenes that I have plotted out, and I get excited! So many things to do before I get there though. Writing is a slow process. Let my word be law, there will be fluff!
Thank you again for taking the time to write out your thoughts
It means a lot to me! I hope you enjoy the continued stuff that I do!
Such a wonderfully constructive talk
It ain’t much, but it’s honest work. Thanks for reading!
Might as well note that the constant content warnings really spoil the general wonder of what will happen in the chapter imo, especially when they are as boring as this chapters. Really 'strong emotions' & 'confrontation'? Isn't that the point to reading stories?