The next morning Jadis and Aila got ready for the day with as much speed as they could muster. Both were eager to get back out into the hills surrounding city to hunt down more demons for Aila to test out her new spell on. More demons slain would mean more experience, too, which would mean even more skills and spells as Aila leveled up. Even though they were splitting experience, Jadis was confident that with how much stronger and better equipped she was, and with Aila’s apparently quite powerful spell trap, the two could tear through enough demons to get Aila to level ten in no time. The only real trick would be finding them.
Exiting the inn, Jadis saw that another two guards were stationed nearby, both following her as she and Aila headed to the tailor’s shop. She wondered how long the magistrate was going to have the escort follow her around. She hoped that after the two guards from yesterday had made their reports, the magistrate would see that Jadis didn’t need protection. She could handle herself just fine out in the field.
Karla the tailor was not happy to see that her hard work had already been torn up in less than a day when she saw Syd’s pant leg. Still, after a few coins, she was willing to accept the job of repairing what she had just made and took the torn skirt-pants for patching. Fortunately, the second set of clothes Jadis had ordered were ready for pickup so Syd didn’t have to resort back to her old rags while her pants were being sewn back together.
After the tailor, they quickly swung by Sabina’s shared smithing workshop to see what progress she’d made.
“Bracers and shin guards!” Sabina announced, carrying a load of leather and steel items out in her arms. “They aren’t fancy or polished and they don’t have any enchantments and I wanted to make them out of full steel but I didn’t have the time but I guarantee you they will protect the specific parts of your body they are covering from attacks made by creatures or demons within your level range!”
“Thank you,” Jay said while taking the armor pieces from her. She gave the half-elf a questioning look. “Though, with the way you worded that, sounds like you’re saying they can’t protect me from everything.”
“They can’t,” the chirpy smith readily admitted. “No enchantments, so they’re no protection against non-elemental magical effects, and they’re only steel, so there’s a limit to how much damage they can take before they bend or break, plus they’re leather on the sides and back, only metal on the top parts, so a smart or skilled enemy could get around their protection easily enough.”
“Uh huh,” Jay hummed doubtfully, looking down at the armor in her hands.
“Oh, but they’re way better than nothing at all!” Sabina quickly assured her, only just then seeming to realize she was doing a poor job of representing her products. “I made the steel double thick since you three are so big and strong! It’ll take a lot to get through those metal plates!”
Not having ever truly doubted the smith’s work, Jadis brushed off Sabina’s awkwardness and put the bracers and guards on the arms and legs of her three bodies. They were easy enough to strap on with Aila and Sabina offering helpful directions and once they had been equipped, Jadis did feel far more protected than she had without them. The bracers fully covered her forearms from wrist to elbow. The leg guards covered her shins completely as well, plus they came up a little higher in a design that protected her knees as well. Jadis could feel how thick and solid the armor pieces were, but the extra weight meant nothing to her, her movements completely unhindered.
“Those almost look Voltonian,” Aila said consideringly as she watched Jadis swing her arms about, testing the feel of the armor. “Is that what inspired you?”
“Good eye!” Sabina exclaimed excitedly. “My father was from Volto and he made armor in this style primarily so I’m very familiar with the design. It’s not exactly the same because I added some elements of traditional Alfhilderunn craftsmanship but yes! That’s what I was thinking!”
To Jadis the arm and leg pieces almost looked Greek, especially in combination with the chest piece and leather skirt portion of her skirt-pants. If the material had been bronze instead of steel, she would have been convinced the armor actually was from some ancient Mediterranean culture.
“Well, I don’t know anything about Volto armor. Or Volto, for that matter. But I think this armor looks and feels great,” Jay said, grinning down at Sabina while her other two selves echoed the sentiment.
“I’m glad you like them! I was worried you three might not since they aren’t full plate and I think full plate would be best for you three and then I thought maybe only one or two of you would like it and the third wouldn’t because I know sisters can fight over things like that, at least my brothers and sisters fought over things like that, so I could see how maybe you three might have different opinions on the armor but then again you three are remarkably similar in the way you look and talk and move so maybe you’d have the same opinions on the armor which wouldn’t help me if you didn’t like it but I’m glad that you do!”
“…Right.” Jay said, her eyes starting to glaze over with how fast Sabina was talking. “So, any chance you had time to make a shield or three?”
“Yes!” Sabina grinned happily. “I only had time to make one, but it’s right here!”
“Where?”
Sabina walked over to one of the back walls of the shop the smithy was behind where a huge door taken off of its hinges was leaning.
“Here!”
Jadis stared as the half-elf slapped the door with one hand. Multiple sets of eyes darted to Aila who was giving the giant door a skeptical look, then back to the broadly smiling smith.
“That’s a door,” Dys finally pointed out the obvious.
Sabina’s face turned into an adorably cute pout. “No, it’s a shield! A shield for giants!”
Still skeptical, Jadis approached the so-called shield and examined it more closely with all three of her selves.
The shield was slightly taller than even her great height, perhaps nine and a half feet tall, and was wide enough that two of her could get behind it if they squeezed or turned to the side. Dark planks of wood that were almost as thick as they were wide made up the primary material of the shield, but large iron bands were wrapped around the wood in six different places, riveted in place. Flipping the object around revealed a crisscross X shape of leather straps in the center, along with four thick iron bars. One bar each was attached towards the top, bottom, and either side of the back of the shield.
It didn’t take much of a logical leap for Jadis to figure out what Sabina had intended. Dys slipped her armored left arm into the X straps in the center and found that her hand could comfortably reach the right-side iron bar. She lifted the heavy shield of the ground and, while it was certainly well within her capabilities to hoist the shield with one arm, the device was heavy enough to give her pause.
“See! It’s a shield!” Sabina proudly announced. “It’s heavy, but I guarantee no arrow, spear, sword, axe, or even most magic spells will be able to get through it, not easily! It’s made of Black Pine wood so it’s much stronger than most wood shields except for maybe the enchanted ones but I can’t do enchantments though maybe if I get a second class with enchantment spells someday I can do that.”
“What are these extra bars for?” Dys managed to cut in when Sabina took a breath. “I guess I could put the shield on my right arm, but I’m not sure why I would.”
“Control!” The smith chirped. “Put the shield down on the ground, like this,” she instructed.
Following Sabina’s directions, Dys set the bottom edge of the shield down on the cobblestone ground, turning herself into a makeshift wall. Leaning forward slightly, she put her left foot on the lower bar, putting her weight on it. Her right hand went to the upper bar, firmly grasping the handhold.
She felt solid enough, but as a test, Jay went around the front and swung her mallet full force at the massive tower shield. With Dys’ weight behind it, the shield barely even moved from Jay’s strongest blow.
“Solid!” Jay praised, sending a happy grin Sabina’s way.
“A bit unwieldy,” Dys said, “But I can see this hunk of chunk being useful.”
Aila mouthed Dys’ words, ‘hunk of chunk’, with an amused expression, but she also had an appreciative look in her eyes as she examined the shield, even rapping her knuckles against it.
“Definitely solid,” she agreed. “Volto designs would curve the shield though, wouldn’t they?”
“Yes,” Sabina sighed, “but I didn’t have the time to make something with a curve, or more than one. I just finished this one an hour ago.”
“An hour ago?” Syd looked at the smith with shock. “It’s not that long past dawn! Did you even sleep?”
“I slept!” The dark-haired half-elf said defensively. “A few hours at least. Maybe two. I don’t know, I was asleep, I didn’t count. But when I get a project to work on I just have to see it through to the end or I can’t sleep at all and this was just so much fun to make because I could imagine one of you three using it and that just kept me up and I had to finish so there. It’s finished.”
“Well, if you aren’t sleeping right, I’m not sure we should give you another commission right away,” Jay chuckled, half amused, half worried. “Maybe we should give you a break for a day.”
Sabina looked crestfallen at the suggestion.
“No! Please, if you need more, I can make you more! You don’t have helmets yet, right? You three absolutely need helmets otherwise how are you supposed to protect your beautiful faces? Let me make you helmets, please!”
“Um,” Jay stumbled on her words, taken a little aback by the smith’s obvious desperation.
“You can make her helmets,” Aila cut in while holding up a finger. “But only after you make a commission for me.”
At Aila’s statement, Sabina turned a curious eye on the taller redhead.
From out of her backpack Aila extracted the demon hatchling, still in its glass mason jar. Its one luminous blue eye stared around before settling on the smith, its many tentacles wiggling in a frenzy of activity before settling down.
“Gods!” Sabina cried out in shock, then leaned in close, staring at the tiny demon with evident fascination. “Is that a demon? I’ve never seen one up close before, not alive, at least. Did you pull it out of a wretch? Is it dangerous? Are you going to sell it to an alchemist?”
“It’s a hatchling and we’re trying to learn more about it,” Syd explained, grabbing the smith’s attention. “Knowledge is power and all that.”
Sabina looked confused by the expression but nodded her head after a moment anyway.
“We don’t want this jar breaking and the demon getting loose,” Aila told Sabina, plinking her finger against the glass. “Can you make something that will hold up better?”
“But we still want to be able to keep an eye on it,” Jay added. “So, not just a metal box.”
Sabina’s brow furrowed in concentration.
“I’ve never worked with glass before. Or demons. Or glass for demons. But I bet I could make something that can hold it if I can get some glass inserts and some thin iron plates and maybe some steel wire—”
Jadis smiled in triplicate as the smith lost herself in planning. Sabina barely noticed as she gave her the coin payment she was due for her hard work. She and Aila took their leave, new giant shield in hand. She wasn’t sure if she wanted more than one of the huge things, but she figured she could test it out that day and let the smith know the next day if it was worth her time to make more.
She just hoped the excitable half-elf actually took some time to sleep that night.
Business around town completed, Jadis and Aila headed for the main gate of the city, eager to be on their way. Both had new toys to play with, Jadis her shield and Aila her spike trap spell, and both wanted to use them in their relentless pursuit of leveling up.
At the gates, the two guards that had been trailing them rushed forward but didn’t try to stop them or even talk to them. To Jadis’ confusion, they hustled down a side road. The gate guards, however, did call out, stopping the four.
“Just a moment,” the oddly deep-voiced gnome Jadis had met on her first day in Felsen told her, blocking her path with his tiny body.
“Is there a problem?” Dys asked, planting the giant door-shield on the ground with a thump.
Several of the guards took steps back from the shield, eyeing it dubiously.
“No problem,” the guard captain said, craning his neck back so he could look up at Dys. “Just need you four to wait here for few minutes. New protocol.”
Jay and Aila exchanged a worried look while Syd watched the guards let a trio of mercenaries bearing spears and shields walk out the gates with barely a glance. Whatever the new protocol was, Jadis got the feeling it was one intended for a highly specific number of individuals. The tall, pale-skinned kind.
Jadis didn’t have to wonder what was coming for too long, though. After a few minutes of tense waiting where the guard captain shrugged all of her attempts at questions off with the reply, ‘protocol’, she found out exactly what the new instructions were for the guards.
Eight guards in full armor came riding out on horseback from the side road, their horses in full, shining barding. Two of them were the guards that had been following them that morning, and two more were the guards from the day before, the elf and the human woman. The other four Jadis couldn’t remember having seen before but looked just as intensely official.
“Lead on,” the elf guard called out, motioning towards the four mercenaries they had been apparently tasked with following.
Giving the guard her most scathing deadpan stare, all three of Jadis spoke in unison.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”
the shields size doesn't make any sense because of how impractical it would be. granted, it's slightly less of an issue for Jadis because she can see through all three bodies. but for literally anybody else normal, which is what the smith would think she is (except for her size), you wouldn't be able to see what the hell's in front of you when you're holding up the shield to try and block something or if something is flanking you.
not to mention how absolutely cumbersome it would be to try and maneuver with. you wouldn't be able to move very well with it if there's any terrain changes, especially when blocking. since it's well over her head in height, she would literally have to be lifting it up even further over her head to just make it to where it'll clear the ground.
I highly recommend changing its dimensions to be something closer to a Roman scutum, or tower shield, in relation to her own height. meaning that her head could peek over it so she could see as well as it coming to about her lower shins. meaning she could still crouch behind it if she had to, and brace if needed. but not so big that it completely negates vision and complicates maneuverability even more than a regular tower shield would by a large margin.
The shield is for blocking powerful attacks so and she also deals with the weaker wreches first there is also metal bars on the side that the MC holds so she can place it down and climb up so attack from the top of the shield also jadis also has her other 2 body's to protect her sides
@Treythedane2 Also.the blacksmith said she didn't have enough time to make the shield better also with jadisis strength she can move it almost easily she said it has some weight to it so its a bit slower to move but she can get more strength for better movement with the shield
@Treythedane2
you clearly don't understand how a shield should function and how you use it
@John764 There are many functions of a shield the rounded are for holding close to easily defend the body at short notice some tower shields are used as a defensive wall for powerfull attacks there are a lot more but these are mostly the basic shields the most basic is the round shield for its easy maneuvering capabilities to quickly garde the upper body and some of the lower body when the tower shields are used to more fortification than movralbility as its bade to protect the whole body..... If I Wright anymore this might become a wiki page if a can add a bit more detail
@Treythedane2
reciting a Google search doesn't prove that you actually know what you're talking about.
what she has is more a piece of a barricade than a shield, it's too big even in relation to her size. I already perfectly explained the issues in my first comment, so I'm not going to repeat myself further. it's supposed to be a shield, so it should function like a shield.
@John764 This is a fantasy novel you shield knowhow means nothing here if the Wrighter wanted that can just make the MC a god in like 2 chapters if they want also this is just for fun we don't need real world facts in a fantasy novel where the being of reality can be swoped like that's why its cake a fantasy novel because you can't do stuff in the real world that you can do in a fantasy world also the the shield is maid for heavy hitters not weaklings so just stop it with this you can't do this you can't do that crap its called a FANTASY NOVAL !!!!! Irl facts don't matter here can't lift something heavy add points to strength can't run fast enough add points to speed
@Treythedane2 Also the MC is testing the shield in the next chapter wait tell then to do you complaining
Would be pretty effective against something like the water spells from the magic beast though. I agree it's not optimal but it does have its uses (that more normal shields wouldn't have).
@Treythedane2
ugh, people like you are the type that bring low fiction with stupid excuses when something doesn't make sense in it. someone who's only argument when their logic fails just says it's fiction so anything is possible. The exact type of person not worth conversing with any further.
@Creyd1317
it's not useless for a tool however it is useless as a shield because it has too many things about it going against it with its size. That's why nobody in history used shields like that, because of the disadvantages I explained. as a mobile barricade sure, but not a shield.
@John764 Like I said before the jadis is going to use it in the next chapter the writer has a reasoning behind creating the shield first of the blacksmith couldn't make them better ore more in time so she went for what jadis has now latter in the novel the blacksmith will make better stuff for jadis but the writer has went with a tower shield bolt for jadis Also the MC has been fighting in open spaces and the shield has good defense you will have to wait till latter in the novel if you want a better shield the 'door' shield is better than nothing
@Treythedane2 Also jadis can handle the shield just fine get your brain out of the real world and put some thought into the world jadis is in the hero from what I can see would probably have war plate armor covering there whole body much like the tower shield jadis has
@Treythedane2
🤡
@John764 Also if we use 'real' shields the MC will be able to be hit at the water globes easier if she weren't to use the tower shield the tower shield is used to guard the whole body also it is used for cover they can get behind it if stuff goes to crap
@Treythedane2
You're just proving my point for me so again. 🤡
@Treythedane2 Also you do know you are acting like a child for putting that clown face also not all irl facts work in the fantasy world
@John764 You sound exactly like a annoying child but ill just leave the child be so I can be the adult
@Treythedane2
when somebody acts like a clown and I have no point in conversing with them further because of their clown behavior, that's all I'm going to bother putting effort into.
I already explained everything perfectly clear. if you're reading comprehension is so low that all you can say is "it's not real so I'm right, you are wrong" I'm not going to bother putting in more effort and call you exactly what you're acting like.
@John764 Also you are stupid if you think I just proved your point I just said the shield jadis has is better now because it will help defend
@Treythedane2
sorry I meant my first point, you know the point where I said looking things up on Google and reciting it doesn't mean anything about shields. you said a tower shield, what she has is not a tower shield. I describe to precisely what that is in my first comment.
so like I said, you proved my point, you are a clown.
@John764 I'm not saying I'm right I'm saying that some irl fisics are not in some fantasy worlds also you remind me of a Karen I mean who cares about a shield so much that they will complain about like she is literally going to get a new one latter on in the novel
@Treythedane2 Also those fact are from my own brain I have Ben typing all of this without reciting from a webpage I have also learned about a lot of stuff about crime books about war
@John764 Ok then what's the best shield for jadis then if you are going to complain about a shield that's going to be upgraded in the future
@Treythedane2 First of most Shields will be to small for jadis and if we make a round shield the enemies will be able to aim for her legs immobilize her the kill her when with a tower shield it will protect her legs also she can upgrade her strength to move easier with the shield like a arrow can just hit her leg and slow her movement then the heavy tower shield can
@Treythedane2 Also sorry wrighter for all of this squabble
@Treythedane2 The relevant facts about the shield being too large have already been established in universe
1. People can't see through solid doors or large slabs of wood
2. Stuff can't phase through solid ground.
In the case of Jadis the first point isn't as relevant as she has two other pair of eyes she can use. But Sabina doesn't know that Jadis is one being. So she should have assumed that the shield wielder needs to be able to see. As any shield is nearly useless if you can't actually see who you are fighting.
And nobody arguing that different kind of shield would be more suited for her, the issue is simply that the shield is at least 2 feet too tall to be used effectively by her.
@Treythedane2 Mate look up a "Medieval Tower Shield" or hell even a "Zulu Tower Shield" and look at the difference between the height of the shield and height of the person. The shield she got in-story makes sense since the blacksmith had to do a rush order but its still a terrible shield in practical terms, still useful but not very practical.
@Treythedane2 Seems like you're acting as if the blacksmith already knows that MC can see through the other bodies. What he means is that for someone that size and strength that can't see through other bodies the shield is too large to be able to see when you're blocking. Your argument is that she can see through her other bodies but the blacksmith doesn't know that, and just created a terrible shield in general.
@Forromir
I've mostly given up on this comment thread but I'll just clarify something. Even if she can see through her other bodies it's still a problem because that only slightly alleviates that one specific issue that the shield has. which I've made clear there are others besides that one, that's just the biggest one.
if she has to rely on her other bodies to see in front of the shield bearer, that is distracting them from their own roles in combat. which then opens them up to potential injury and what have you from being distracted from their own opponents. so while yes it could be done, it'd be much better if the shield bearer could cover their own front with their own eyes than having to rely on the mental linked bodies keeping an eye on her as well as themselves.
@John764 The chapter says she stepped on a bar and it said once she had balance she pulled herself up and slow on the bar of metal at the bottom of the shield she she can step on to see over the shield if we were to make it smaller it will more in danger the jadis and alia because there will be less space to protect them with means she has a higher chance to be hit and be slowed more than she is with the shield
I didn't quite expect such a strong reaction to the shield. I'll just say that you two both make very solid points in your own ways and I hope you'll both enjoy the chapters to come where Jadis puts the admittedly impractical shield to use in battle.
@Agdistis
well like I said my main issue is its just too tall. while it can be used for sure, it just comes with problems that cannot be ignored for it to be an effective tool. like I said, it's more of a mobile barricade than a shield.
I only really pointed it out just to make sure you as the author understood how a shield is supposed to function. since I didn't know for sure if you knew exactly what you were doing by making it impractically tall, and were planning on having it modified later, I just wanted to make things clear about the issues of its dimensions.
I understand the difficulties of creation and authors/creators don't always know everything about what they're writing about and just go with the flow with what they think makes sense and is cool. but sometimes they might miss the mark and if I happen to have the knowledge of the subject, I would like to inform the author so they can make a better story.
@John764 I appreciate that, just as I appreciate all the comments I get on these scribbles. I do understand just how silly the size of the shield is, but I also think it's fun to experiment with something that'd never work in real life in the world of a fiction story. It can hopefully lead to some interesting places.
Keep posting comments on things you see like this though! Feedback is always helpful. Seeing comments and discussions on the chapters I post always makes me smile, so long as they stay civil of course.
@dragonace11 There is a metal bar on the side jadis holds so she can step on it to look over the shield also she should have one of her clones near her to guard her back
@Treythedane2 Yeah that's why "I said useful yet impractical". The smith had no idea that instead of 3 separate people she is 1 single person that shares senses between all 3 bodies, if anyone else attempted to use it it'd be useless. Needing to step up on something to see over it would ruin it even further if again she couldn't share sense between her bodies, its just horrible shield design.
@Treythedane2
There is a metal bar on the side jadis holds so she can step on it to look over
You realize that if she climbs onto a metal bar to look over it, the only thing on the floor keeping her balance is a straight piece of wood that doesn't keep any balance and would very likely fall on top of Jadis with the first blow she takes, didn't you notice?!
And that's 1 shield out of 3 she needs. I imagine that the plan is for each of her to carry 1 wall (shield), Aila to carry a ladder and they change their weapons for crossbows, then on the battlefield they set up a mobile fortress, climb the ladder and attack from above the wall (shield).
I think the idea is that our smith got ahead of herself and turned a door into a shield, knowing that Jadis could lift it. It's clearly impractical at every level, only spared uselessness because Jadis is stupid strong.
@Treythedane2 As an independent reader, who is just now seeing this for the first time, I am actually going to have to say you are the one who comes across as the child. The other person had already stated they didn't want to converse further with you due to very poor logic on your part. Yet, you continue to argue.
When looking through this, seeing all the upvotes and the lack of upvotes... it strikes me you are alone in your sentiments whereas john764's thoughts are echoed by others.
@Agdistis My major feedback on the shield is this, the sheer size, combined with the hilly terrain you have been describing all over the place, plus the plentiful forests you have also mentioned, tells me this "shield" would be wholly impractical. Fantasy or not, logic still needs to be upheld or else you run major risks of shattering a reader's suspension of disbelief and yanking them out of their immersion.
This is why I refuse to rate stories told in the first person beyond a 3 stars no matter how much I may like a story. Only a story in the 3rd person can possible get 4 or 5 stars from me. (I think I am inclined to rate you 4 stars, 5 would mean I think you should seek a professional publisher and you are not at that level. At least not yet.) First person perspective is way too easy to break my immersion and yank me out of the groove of the story.
Take a story that is truly exceptionally heavy on magical elements, I'll give two examples, Star Wars and Harry Potter. In both cases they have fantasy elements that dominate the storyverses and are EXTREMELY major elements of both characters in their respective storyverses and in the environment. However, no matter how fantastical things may be at times, everything stays to a consistent logic that also fits in with our, the reader/viewer's, world. When things in those stories do break such logic, an explanation is provided to restore the broken logic by modifying the link between the storyverse and our world. This is how our immersion, and enjoyment, is protected.
The detailed beginning to Jadis adventure helped set the foundation for the tale firmly enough to establish great immersion. The continued bits of additional information as we go along helps to build upon that foundation and reinforces the story. It is neither too much, nor too little. This is excellent writing on your part. The shield's absurd size is the only major deviation you have made so far from this. Just negotiating the terrain with that oversized slab of lumber is just.... no.
@Maddhawk Thank you, I appreciate the commentary and criticism.
As you'll see in later chapters, I quite agree with you on the shield.
@Maddhawk I agree with the shield part but I fail to see how it has to do anything with your bias towards 3rd person view. I think it's much more satisfying to see the main character being presented with a mystery ('how does that make sense?') and then later figuring it out together with the reader, than being presented the explanation instantly on a silver platter with a possible derail for two paragraphs. Though in general, both depend on the writer's talent/writing quality and the specific situation so I can't say I quite prefer one over the other in any general statement. Anyway, just wanted to say 1st person has a lot to enjoy too, and categorically saying it ruins a story in such a way that half the rating is automatically gone is pretty silly.
@Creyd1317 The commonality between the shield and writing perspectives has to do with how they break logic which in turn breaks the suspension of disbelief that people establish when immersing into a story.
1st person perspective is a story being told as if you are the person going through events.
3rd person is as if you were looking over their shoulder watching events go on.
1st person is popular with writers because it allows them to self-insert and create personal fantasy stories. Thus it is much more fun for them to write. The story is wish fulfillment. 3rd person, on the other hand, the author is taking a narrative role. They are not injecting themselves, nor the reader, directly into the sequence of events. 1st person writing is like the story is being written by the actor portraying the main character, while 3rd person writing is like the story is being written by the director.
With the difference in 1st and 3rd person perspectives now established, to address how these can impact a reader. In the 1st person, as a writer (my stories are on hentai foundry, not here), you are hoping that the actions of the MC do not break too much with the personality and actions the reader would take if they were in the MCs shoes. This is critically important because you ARE putting the reader directly into the shoes of the character. If a break in continuity between the MC and the reader occurs and it is a big enough break, then the immersion you will be working to create will be broken. This throws the reader out of the story and suddenly they are going, "wait... wtf? what just happened?" and come crashing back to reality. This results in a very poor reading experience.
I have had this happen a fair deal with stories on this site. Just look at my dropped list in my profile for a pretty heavy collection of such stories.
With the 3rd person however, the reader remains detached from the MC in a critical way. You aren't placed into the shoes of the MC. So when they inevitably do something or behave in a way that you don't agree with, it is more like you are their friend and having a disagreement with them. The action and/or behavior they just did/showed won't be something to create a discontinuity that throws you out of the story and thus break your immersion.
Take for example how loathe Jadis has been to accept money at times for her efforts in combat. While this humility is something to be praised, it is also something I find to be out of character when given all the other personality traits she has displayed. But, because this tale is being told in the 3rd person, it wasn't enough to disrupt my enjoyment and immersion into the tale. Thus I continue to receive the story with a degree of appreciation and excitement, hence 4 stars from me.
As to how I rate things, I have a system, in my head, of sub ratings. The rating I give publicly, is the overall rating. I try to rate stories, as if I were giving a professional critique for someone seeking publication with a brick and mortar publishing house, like Del Ray Books or Baen Books. Is this a story I'd pay cash for in paper back or hardback format?
Final note:
I think it's much more satisfying to see the main character being presented with a mystery ('how does that make sense?') and then later figuring it out together with the reader, than being presented the explanation instantly on a silver platter with a possible derail for two paragraphs.
This presentation of a mystery and then figuring out as the story progresses is something that can be done in both 1st and 3rd person perspective. The early reveal, before the MC figures it out, of the solution is something that can also be done in either perspective. In fact, I'd say revealing the nature/solution of a mystery early, before the MC figures it out, would be a sign of a weak writer.
So far, Agdistis hasn't made that mistake at all. We have been along for the ride, at the same pace as Jadis, for the entire adventure. This is because Agdistis is telling us the tale as if we are a spirit riding on Jadis shoulder as she goes through her adventure.
@Maddhawk I love the the whey you finished at the end and I never thought like this but I have been thinking like jadis will the shield get in the whey ,will the blacksmith be able to make a better tower shield I just want the author to not be pushed by people and there irl logic and to think about the fantasy stuff and " why don't we add a light weight enchant to your shield " I mean it is fantasy and the author can add anything they want and they are letting jadis learn about fighting with the right shield like you said also thanks for helping calm the situation and thanks for your point of view
@Treythedane2 Giving an author feedback isn't punishing them. Unless they want to take it that way and respond negatively to criticism.
It is about letting a creator know how their work is received. Good creators will take that feedback, and along with their own preferences, improve. The entire reason any of us post at all is because we WANT the author to succeed. I think I can safely say, we ALL want Agdistist to be successful. That is why we comment.
Are we all going to have good comments? No. I have made some earlier comments, like about what the different stats did, that turned out to be wrong. A few chapters later explained things and I think the author did a great job. Does it mean I shouldn't comment? Also, no. Even a bad comment can still be helpful, if by nothing else, helping the author think a tad more carefully, and even consider a few more perspectives on the story that they might have missed.
We all have opinions, and personally, I think it is good that we all share them. By doing so, we help the author in the long run. We also help each other out because we get an even better story as the author improves.
@Maddhawk Thanks for your input I will think a bit more about some of this stuff
Okay, I get what you are saying, I understand. I get it. Totally valid. But have you considered this point: It rad as hell